"They are my children. I have rights."
"I don't want them to die," Jane snapped back. "They are not safe here."
Sherlock took her hand. "I can protect you -"
"And look where Mrs Hudson is now!" Jane yelled. "Buried six feet under! She was like a mother to us, Sherlock. And look where she's now!"
"Congratulations, Doctor Watson," a paediatric nurse said to Jane happily.
Jane frowned. "Thanks?"
And then Doctor Marshall.
"Tell Matthew congratulations," the doctor said. "He's a very talented doctor and he deserved it."
Jane faked a smile because that's all she could do.
But that morning every nurse and doctor congratulated her for something Jane did not know about. Everyone said 'congratulations' and Jane wondered why this was happening. She was not pregnant, they hadn't told anyone about their marriage - though most people knew they were engaged to get married soon.
"Matthew? Can we talk?"
"Sure," the doctor smiled. "But first, close the door."
They were at his office. Jane did as she had been told and walked towards the doctor, who was sitting on his chair, his arms on either sides and smiling happily.
"Matt, everyone's been saying 'congratulations' all day long," Jane said and leaned on his desk. "What's going on?"
The doctor smiled even more.
"Love, come here."
Jane sat on his lap.
Matthew ran a hand over her sandy hair and cupped her face. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and smiled at her. "We must celebrate."
"What is it Matt?"
"I've been offered a position as a Associate Director of the Paediatric Residence Program."
Her eyes lit up. She smiled at him and threw her arms around his neck. "That's amazing!"
"At the University of Chicago."
Jane's smile disappeared from her face.
"I can't believe it, baby. I..." The doctor trailed off and turned his computer on. "I got the call today. They are offering me a position I've never dreamt of," Matthew smiled. "God, I can't believe it."
She remained silent.
"It's a good opportunity, darling. It's three hundred thousand dollars a year."
"But... You'll have to leave."
"Not without you." The doctor held her hand. "I made some phone calls and you can finish your studies and work there too," he smiled at her, whilst Jane showed no emotion whatsoever. "We can start our family there. You'll live as a queen, Jane."
Jane frowned. "But -"
"Look here," Matthew said, showing Jane pictures of a lovely house with a big backyard. It was a typical American house, big, with more than five rooms, circled with a white fence and with a garage big enough for two or three cars. "This will be our new home. The children will have each their room, we'll get a new car and I'll hire people to help us with the cleaning and a nanny for the children so we can focus on our jobs." Matthew kissed her. "There's a very good school for Hamish too -"
"Matt, wait. You're... You're buying a house, a new car..." Jane looked at him. "You never asked me if I wanted to go."
The doctor's mouth was slightly opened.
"This is amazing," Jane whispered. "I know it's very important to you -"
"Jane, you think I want to go?" Matthew cut her off. "Do you think I want to go and leave our country, our friends, everything?"
Jane said nothing. It as a very good opportunity for Matthew, and she knew it. Being an associate director of a residency program at a university was a very high and important position. And Matthew Morstan was merely thirty-six. Reaching his forties, being so young, and having been offered such position was incredible. It was a chance she knew he would never get again.
And it was good for her too. There was a job offer for her as well and she knew she could continue her studies there. The University of Chicago was a very prestigious university.
But the idea terrified her. They would have to move not to another neighbourhood but to another country, to the States. To a very different place with a different culture.
And what about the children? When would they see their father?
"This is... This is our chance to start again, to start our family away from Sherlock and his madness," The doctor's eyes darkened. "I can't bear to see him close to you any more." Matthew placed his hands on her hipbones. "It's not about me. It's about us. I don't think I will ever get another chance like this one and... This is very important to me as a doctor. And there's a good job for you too." The doctor smiled at her. "I haven't said yes yet. I want to go after my surgery. I'm planning to sell the house and the car and take you and our children with me."
"Let me think about it."
"Think?" Matthew asked.
Jane nodded. "It's Chicago, Matthew! It's not like we're moving to... I don't know... another neighbourhood. We're moving to the States! To another continent! And I still haven't divorced and -"
"You want to stay because of him, don't you?" Matthew asked darkly. "Why are you doing this to me, darling?" the doctor pushed Jane until she was lying with her back on his desk. "You belong to me, baby."
Jane frowned. "Matthew -"
Matthew pulled her legs apart. " God, Jane. Why are you doing this to me?" He thrust his hips forwards and bent down to kiss her lips fiercely. "I worked so hard to get that job. Just for you and our children," the doctor slid a hand under her shirt. "You can't do this to me. You just can't. It's not fair for me."
Jane kissed him back. "Matthew..." she took a deep breath and looked into his dark blue eyes. "I want you."
"Then be with me. You'll have everything, I promise," the doctor bit her lip. "A big house, your own car..." Matthew ripped her shirt open and pulled her bra down. "We can start again... get the boys a dog... be happy just you, me and our children."
Jane closed her eyes when she felt Matthew's tongue teasing her nipples. "Yes."
"Do say yes, baby," the doctor said as he unzipped her trousers and slid a hand under her clothes. "Do you like this?" He asked darkly as he started teasing the most intimate place of her body.
"Yes."
The doctor chuckled. "You're so wet, love. I wish I could fuck you here. Now. Make you scream my name 'till I come inside you. 'Till I fill you with my come," Matthew took her hand and pressed it to his own hardness. "Feel how hard you make me, how my body needs you."
"I need you."
Matthew smiled darkly. "I've got patients to see... But tonight... Tonight I'm going to make you feel so good," the doctor kissed her lips softly. "Tonight I'll be in charge and I'm going to possess all of you."
"Oh God, yes." Jane panted softly.
"That's my girl..." Matthew helped her with her shirt. "I'll see you tonight, OK?"
"OK," Jane replied and kissed him softly. "But still... I want to think about it, Matt. I'm going with you... but let me think about it."
He nodded and caressed her cheek lovingly. "Of course. I love you."
They were covering the coffin. Sherlock watched Jane crying, pressing a tissue to her nose and resting her head on Doctor Morstan's shoulder. Then, the detective's grey eyes fell on her hand. Morstan was holding her hand and their fingers were entangled together.
There were Jane, Doctor Morstan, Mr and Mrs Holmes, Mycroft, Greg, Mrs Turner, the old ladies from the knitting club and obviously, Mrs Hudson's sister.
It was a cold day.
Sherlock watched Doctor Morstan whispering to Jane's ear and leaving the place. In a couple of minutes the only ones left were Jane and Sherlock.
"How are they?"
Jane's eyes were on the headstone in front of them. "Both cried. Hamish is... he's calm. But Locky hasn't talked since... since I told them about it."
Sherlock remained silent.
"Mrs Hudson was like a Grandmother to them," Jane whispered. "And she was like a mother to me," she pressed a tissue to her eyes.
The detective said nothing. He knew how important Mrs Hudson had been not only for Jane but for their children as well. And the landlady had been very important for him too. She had been like a mother to him when he left his parents' house and moved to Baker Street with Jane. She was more than a landlady, more than a housekeeper, more than an old lady who liked to bake cakes and knit things for their children.
"Was it... Is Moran behind all this?"
"It was a gas leak," Sherlock replied. "According to Lestrade's team."
Jane turned to him. "And to you?"
"It was Moran."
She looked around and saw no one was close. Not even Matthew.
"We're moving," Jane said softly. "To the States," she bit her lip when she realised Sherlock's piercing eyes were on her. "Matthew's been offered a position at the University of Chicago and I'll continue studying there too," she felt Sherlock's intense gaze on her. "We're moving at the end of January, after Locky's birthday."
The very same day Matthew told her about moving to the States, Greg called her and told her about Mrs Hudson's death. Jane cried even more than she did when her mother and her sister died. Mrs Hudson had been like a mother to her, like the mother she didn't have but needed when she became a mother for the first time. Mrs Hudson helped her when she needed a piece of advice when Hamish wouldn't stop crying or when he was ill and she was alone.
Mrs Hudson became her mother, the grandmother of her children and the one who told her Sherlock was indeed very sorry for what he had done and that they should go back together.
Jane hesitated so much after Matthew told her about moving to the States. But after knowing Mrs Hudson had died, apparently because of a 'gas leak', Jane knew it had not been an accident. It had been more than that.
So Jane decided they should definitely move and go far away because apparently that was the only way her children could be safe.
"And obviously you're taking my children with you."
"You'll see them. We'll come back -"
"Once a year?"
Jane nodded. "Yeah. Maybe. I don't know."
"They are my children. I have rights."
"I don't want them to die," Jane snapped back. "They are not safe here."
Sherlock took her hand. "I can protect you -"
"And look where Mrs Hudson is now!" Jane yelled. "Buried six feet under! She was like a mother to us, Sherlock. And look where she's now! And all because of -"
"Don't." Sherlock said, cutting her off.
Jane said nothing.
"I don't sleep at night thinking you and our children might be in danger. If I have to die so you are safe I will," Sherlock looked into her eyes, their lips were inches apart. "I'll do it again."
"You'll do it again and come back three years later?" Jane asked, sounding sarcastic, even when she didn't mean to.
"No," Sherlock said softly, stepping back. "I might not survive this time."
Jane took his hand and her expression softened. "Sherlock... Sherlock, don't die. Please -"
"Why? You don't love me any more," Sherlock said bitterly. "I have no reason to live for," the detective's eyes were on hers and he felt the need to kiss her lips once again.
A tear rolled down Jane's cheek. She cupped Sherlock's face and leaned forward for a kiss. "Do it for our children. Sherlock, please -"
Sherlock turned and walked away from her.
I think it is time, don't you? - SM
Sherlock was playing his violin when he got the text.
The detective looked at the picture of his children on the mantelpiece and at the divorce papers he had just signed when he realised he had to take a decision. Moran was not stopping the game until he died. Sherlock knew this game would end as soon as he died. It started with Jane being kidnapped, then her mother and her sister being killed, and finally Mrs Hudson. Sherlock knew Mrs Hudson hadn't died for a 'gas leak'.
Sherlock knew Moran was behind Mrs Hudson's dead.
And Sherlock knew the next ones on Moran's list were his children.
The detective knew he had to take a decision.
It was himself or his children.
Say good bye to your children and wait for me - SM
How will I know it's you? - SH
You will know - SM
When? - SH
Soon - SM
It was Friday again, and Sherlock Holmes found himself standing in front of Doctor Morstan and Jane's house.
"Ah, you," Matthew said, with distaste and opened the door for him.
Inside in the living room Hamish and Locky were already prepared, wearing their coats and each carrying their little bags with his toys. Both still looked sad. Hamish ran to him and kissed him, but Locky never said a word.
Sherlock glanced at the place and immediately knew Jane was not at home and that the doctor was eagerly waiting for him to leave.
And for the divorce papers.
"Good," Matthew said as he took the folder and glanced at the contents inside quickly, making himself sure every single paper had the required signature. "Will take them to my solicitor next Monday first thing in the morning," there was a dark smile on the doctor's face. "I knew you were going to do the right thing. Now the wedding will take place before Christmas, just like Jane wanted it."
"She won't marry you."
Matthew smiled. "She's buying her wedding dress now," the doctor turned to the boys. "Good bye," he smiled at them and pressed a kiss to their heads. "Be good boys to your daddy, OK?"
That night when Jane returned home after working she found her daughter already sleeping on her cot and Matthew waiting for her with a nice dinner with wine, candles and soft music.
"Candles?" Jane asked jokingly as she sat across the doctor. "Hmm, this looks good."
The doctor had prepared roasted meat and potatoes. He poured two glasses of wine and handed one to her.
"We have to make a toast."
She nodded and smiled. "To you."
"No," the doctor said softly. "To us. For our future. For our wedding. For our new life."
Jane shifted on her chair and smiled sincerely to him.
During dinner they talked about Chicago, about Hyde Park, the place were they were going to move in to, the new school for Hamish, and all the things they wanted for their new house. Matthew led the talk mostly. He told Jane all the things he had seen on the internet, such as the furniture for the new house, the car he wanted to get for him and for her, the kind of nanny he wanted to hire for the children.
"It was delicious."
He smiled. "Did you like it?"
"Yes."
The doctor got to his feet and took her hand. "Dance with me."
"I can't dance," Jane whispered, as she felt the doctor's long, strong arms around her waist and leading her to the living room. "Matt, I can't dance."
The doctor pulled her closer and put her hands on his neck and he moved his hands to her waist. "Just follow me."
The song played and in just seconds Jane smiled at the doctor and rested her head on his chest. She let out a long sigh and closed her eyes, feeling secure, warm in those long, strong arms around her, embracing her, keeping her safe form any harm.
The light was minimal. They were almost alone, dancing together in silence and just feeling their hearts beating together.
Matthew kissed her. "I'm proud of you, Jane."
She giggled against his chest. "Why are you proud of me? I'm proud of you. You've got the job of your dreams and you're the best doctor I've ever known."
"I'm proud of you because I've seen you growing," Matthew said, lifting her chin with his index finger and looking straight into her blue eyes. "When we first met you were a little woman who didn't believe in herself," he kissed her lips and pulled her closer. "And now you're a woman who has the world at her feet."
Jane giggled even more. "I don't have the world at my feet."
"You said I'm the world to you," Matthew whispered. "And I'm at your feet. I swear to God everything I do, I do it for you."
Suddenly, his revelation sent a shiver down her spine. Jane looked into Matthew's eyes and couldn't help but kiss him and feel nothing but tenderness for that man who was holding her tightly and whispering such sweet things to her ear.
"Why are you so good to me?" Jane asked, resting her head on his chest. "I broke your heart. I don't deserve you."
The doctor moved a hand to the back of her neck and caressed the skin there. "That belongs to the past, don't talk about it," he then pressed a kiss to her sandy hair and smiled to himself. "Let's live this moment now."
"Matt?"
"Hmm?"
"Hold me," Jane whispered, looking into his eyes. "Don't let any one hurt me again." A single tear rolled down her face.
Matthew smiled at her and wiped the tear off her face. "I won't let anyone hurt you. You're my little girl, and I'll protect you," the doctor moved his hands to her waist and caressed her belly with his thumbs. "I wish I had protected it."
Jane knew he meant their baby.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't say sorry, love," Matthew kissed her and smiled at her lovingly. "It wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault. Maybe... maybe it wasn't in our destiny to become parents together."
Jane kissed him. "But we're parents already. We've got Sophie."
"You're right," he smiled and took her hand. "Come with me."
Once they were in their room, the doctor attacked Jane's mouth. He kissed her softly, very softly whilst pushing her against the wall and unzipping her jeans and pulling at her shirt. Jane closed her eyes and let him undress her and soon her hands were on his trousers, on his belt, on his shirt, trying to undress him quickly.
"Will you let me make love to you tonight?" The doctor asked so softly. "Make you mine as if there's no tomorrow?"
Jane smiled at him and let him take her bra off. "I'm yours."
"Are you?"
"Yes," Jane kissed him and touched his already throbbing member. "Are you asking for permission like the first time?"
He smiled back. "You're so fragile, so little in my arms," he whispered and pushed her very softly until she was lying on her back and he was over her, between her thighs. "So little in my arms," he repeated. "It's sinful. Almost perverse."
"Sinful? Perverse?" Jane giggled. "What are you talking about?"
"I love you."
She kissed him.
"Jane, I need you to know everything I do, I do it for you, baby," Matthew whispered as he started to tease her entrance with his fingers. "Since I met you... everything I did since then has been for you, to keep you and our children safe."
She melted under his touch. "I know."
"And I'll do anything you want. Anything."
Jane bit her lower lip. "God, Matthew... You're so good to me."
The doctor smiled and took one of her nipples into his mouth. "You're so little in my arms that sometimes I fear I might hurt you. And I don't want that," he whispered. "I want to make love to you softly and slowly and I want it to last forever."
"I need you."
"This is what define us, Jane. When we're one, we're perfect together," the doctor bit her nipple. "I'd gladly die here with you, right now."
Jane closed her eyes in pleasure and hissed.
"You're everything I want," the doctor pressed sloppy kisses down to her stomach until he was licking the most intimate place of her body. "You taste so good... you were made for me. Only for me."
"Matt..."
He took her hand and made her stroke his member. "Be mine forever."
"Matthew please."
The doctor placed himself over her, between her thighs and kissed her tenderly whilst teasing her entrance with his member. "I love you."
He sunk into her, slowly.
Jane threw her head back and circled his neck with her fragile arms. "Matt!"
He moved very slowly until he was completely inside her and then stopped to look into her eyes.
"Jane, my love... I can feel you."
"I can..." Jane whispered and smiled at him, looking almost intoxicated. "God, I can feel you."
He remained inside her.
"Why are you so little in my arms?" He asked as he caressed her cheeks and kissed her lips. "So little, so tight, so small and tiny..." Matthew held her hands above her head over the pillows and both entangled their fingers.
Jane kissed him. "Move, please."
Matthew moved out and inside her very slowly, almost painfully. "Jane, you drive me crazy."
She closed her eyes and sighed. "Like that..."
"I loved you since the first moment," Matthew whispered to her ear. "You have to promise me you'll always be mine."
Jane didn't say anything. Both kept moving, in unison, moaning each other's name, kissing, biting each other's lips, devouring each other. Matthew continued moving inside and out of her slowly, hard, hurting Jane just like he knew she liked it.
Because she liked to be hurt.
Maybe it was the mix between the pain and the pleasure that intoxicated Jane every time they were together in bed. Maybe it was the fact that the doctor doubled her weight and was nothing but long, very strong toned limbs and fierce lips. Maybe it was the fact that he looked a lot like the man she loved, who was the father of her children. Maybe what made her feel love for the man who was making love to her was that Matthew loved her just like Sherlock did.
Maybe it was because of the doctor's promises.
Jane felt so little underneath him, so powerless, so tiny. But at the same time, when she felt dominated, almost devoured, Jane also felt loved.
Or maybe it was an illusion.
"I'm close," Matthew whispered to her ear. "Love, I'm close."
Jane opened her eyes and looked into his.
And the man above her wasn't Matthew Morstan, but Sherlock Holmes.
"Yes, love," she purred. "Come for me," Jane kissed him tenderly, very tenderly and lovingly. "Do it."
The doctor kissed her back and pounded hard into her until both came together.
"I love you so much," Matthew held her hand and laced their fingers. He kissed her engagement ring and then smiled. "I love you. I swear on my children that I love you with all my heart and that I want to die with you."
She sat next to him and kissed him. "Don't say that."
"I want you to be the last thing I see."
Jane faked a smile and kissed him passionately. "Don't say that, Matt."
"It's the truth," the doctor said bitterly. "I want to die next to you. I want you to be the last thing I see."
"Dad," Hamish drank his milk. "Is Nan Hudson in Heaven?"
Sherlock knew he would never understand those concepts, Heaven and Hell.
But God, Hamish was such a curious child.
"Yes."
"Cos she was good, right?"
Sherlock bit his lip. "Because." The detective turned to his son. "Say 'Because'."
Hamish looked at him clueless.
"Don't say 'cos'," Sherlock explained. "You're a grown boy and you ought to speak well. Say 'because'."
The boy looked miserable. "Because."
Sherlock didn't see that.
No one tells you how to be a good parent.
Both boys remained silent for the rest of the breakfast.
And for the rest of the morning.
Sherlock was so lost into his own thoughts, so focused on how Sebastian Moran would appear, what he would do, how the game would continue that he sat with his laptop on the kitchen table and ignored the hours passing by until he saw Hamish opening the fridge and pulling out milk and trying to pour some into Locky's bottle.
Hamish seemed alarmed as soon as he realised his daddy's grey eyes were on him. "It's for Locky!"
Sherlock frowned. "What time is it?"
The detective looked at his watch. It was five in the afternoon.
He realised he had ignored them for more than eight hours.
Eight.
God.
"Why didn't you tell me you were hungry?"
Hamish said nothing. He handed his little brother's his bottle and both went upstairs to their room.
It didn't take much until Sherlock heard them crying, trying to keep their sobs from him. Both were hiding themselves from him.
Sherlock stood behind the closed door and listened to their whispers.
"Please Locky, I'm hungry."
"No! Go ask Dad!"
"But he's angry..." He sobbed. "Please Locky."
Sherlock waited. And it seemed Locky let Hamish drink a bit of his milk.
"Mish... why you cryin'?"
"Cos-" the boy sobbed softly. "Because I miss Nan Hudson and I don't wanna -" Sherlock wasn't even in the room, but he could feel Hamish struggling with his ow words and trying to speak properly as he had been insisting in the morning. "I don't want Dad to be angry with me."
Sherlock felt his own heart breaking.
"Why Dad angry?"
"Because I can't speak well... but I can't, Locky. I wanna - I want to be clever for Daddy so he loves me more but I can't."
Sherlock opened the door softly and walked towards the boys. He found them both curled together sitting on the the edge of the bed. Locky was playing with the empty bottle and Hamish was looking at the floor, not meeting Sherlock's gaze. Hamish's eyes were red and his cheeks had tears.
It broke Sherlock's heart.
"I'm not angry with you."
"Yes you are," Hamish said, burying his face on a pillow.
"I'm not."
"Yes! You're angry with me cos-" Hamish bit his own lip. "Because I can't speak well like you."
Sherlock rubbed his son's back very softly and then let Locky sit on his lap. "I apologise if I made you feel sad," Sherlock said, lacking of more proper words. "If I made you feel bad. And for not feeding you."
Both boys remained silent.
"I'm sorry."
Neither said a word.
"I don't know how to do this." Sherlock admitted. "You didn't come with a textbook when you were born. I apologise if what I do is not the expected from you." The detective took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
Locky kissed his cheek. "We want Nan Hudson."
"We miss Nan Hudson, Dad," Hamish said softly.
"You don't hate me?"
Both shook their heads.
No.
God.
"You angry, Dad?"
"I'm not angry with you. I would never be. I merely want to help you to improve your speech skills," Sherlock said as he let his older son curl next to him. "I'm... I'm sorry for not feeding you."
Both kids' stomachs growled.
The three of them laughed.
"I'll order some chinese."
Sherlock was sitting on a park bench on a not so cold Sunday morning, watching his children playing with other kids when a woman sat next to him.
"Won't he be angry if he sees you with me?"
Jane took Sophie from the pushchair and started feeding her a bottle. "He's working."
"What are you doing here?"
Jane handed Sherlock a white envelope.
The detective opened it. There was a picture of their children, and Sophie, and each of them had a number written with red marker.
"What does it mean, Sherlock?"
"He's going to -"
There was an explosion at the park.
Suddenly, there was a grey cloud and Sherlock jumped over Jane. He covered her body with his and waited for a couple of seconds. People were running to and fro. Both Jane and Sherlock listened to the children's cry. It was a nice Sunday and the park was filled with children and their parents.
"Sherlock!"
The detective got to his feet and looked at Jane.
Sophie was nowhere to be seen.
"Sophie! My baby -"
"Jane, calm down."
There were tears in Jane's eyes.
"The boys!" Jane cried and started looking everywhere. "Hamish and Locky!"
They were nowhere to be seen.
And suddenly Sherlock and Jane were standing together, watching people running, kids screaming and their children were missing.
Hamish, Locky and Sophie were gone.
The three of them were missing.