Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyer and no copyright infringement is in any way intended. All I own are my ideas.

Chapter 37 – Fever

BPOV

When Edward and I met for lunch I told him how my meeting with Jasper went. He offered to try and talk to Jasper for me but I told him I just wanted to let it be for now. After that the rest of the week went by slowly and left me exhausted.

Now that my workweek was finally over I was off for my appointment with Carmen. I wanted to discuss with her how the meeting with Jasper went as well as some other things that have been running through my mind recently. When I got to her office I was a few minutes early so I checked in with the receptionist and sat down to read a few pages of my book while I waited.

I had just finished the chapter I had been reading when I was called back to Carmen's office. Once I was in there I took my seat across from Carmen and waited for her to speak.

"So how has your week been?" Carmen asked.

"It has been okay I guess." I responded.

Carmen wrote a few notes before she looked up at me again. "When we met last you told me that you were going to meet with Jasper. Did you have that meeting?"

I nodded as I took a drink of water. "Yeah, I did."

"How did it go?"

I prepared myself to tell her about the meeting. "Well, I think I went into it with somewhat unrealistic expectations."

"What do you mean?" Carmen asked as she cocked her head.

I shrugged before I spoke. "I guess I had these high hopes that we would get together and everything would be fixed and our relationship would go right back to what it once was."

Before Carmen had a chance to speak I continued to ramble. "I mean I know that it was unrealistic to expect things to be fixed by a simple meeting. I'm an attorney and I know that, especially when emotions come into play, things rarely go as planned but I guess I just had this unrealistic picture in my head and…"

"And the reality was nothing like the idealized version," Carmen stated.

"Exactly."

"Was there something in particular that kept you from achieving the result that you wanted from the meeting?" Carmen asked me as she set her pen down.

I thought about that question for a minute before I even considered answering her. "There were a few things I guess."

Carmen indicated for me to continue so I took a deep breath before I spoke. "Despite the progress that I know I have been making, I'm still angry and hurt and I don't know how to let that go."

"What exactly are you angry about?"

"I'm angry that my brother, my only living relative, would think so little of me to call me the things he has and to treat me the way he has making me feel like I have been a burden on him. I'm angry because I let him have the control he does over my emotions. But mostly I'm hurt because I can't seem to get him to see where he has been wrong and that despite this I can't seem to be able to let it go."

"Bella, do you think that you would have an easier time letting go of your hurt and anger with Jasper if he validated your feelings?"

"I'm sure that it would help, but I think it would help more if he would just acknowledge that he was wrong and apologize for it." I told her.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when we were meeting he kept denying that he did any of the things that I was telling him hurt me. The more he spoke the angrier I got." I stated.

"Bella, have you considered that Jasper may never accept that he has done anything to hurt you?"

I shrugged, " I guess so."

"Are you prepared to deal with the possibility that you may need to cut yourself off from Jasper if you can't accept his inability to acknowledge that he has hurt you? Can you live with not having a relationship with your brother?" Carmen asked me.

I knew that what she was saying was a possible future outcome, but I didn't know how I would deal with it. I could feel the tears start to run down my cheeks. Carmen leaned over and offered me a tissue. I thanked as I took the tissue and tried to dry the tears that continued to fall. I took a few minutes and composed myself before I was able to speak.

"I guess that is something that I am going to have to think about. Basically my options seem to be either to accept his inability to see where he has hurt me, or just find a way to let it go." I told her through my residual tears.

"That is something I would like you to think about before our next appointment. If you had to make the choice, which would be easier for you to live with not having Jasper in your life or accepting that he will never acknowledge he has hurt you? Think about that and then we will discuss it at your next appointment." Carmen stated. "Now we have a little time left today, is there anything else you would like to talk about. How about Edward? How are things going with him?"

"Edward is fine, but there is something that I have been thinking about that I wanted to talk to you about." I told her.

Carmen motioned for me to continue so I did. "Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Even before the attack I wasn't happy at work and since I started going to the rape support group I have started thinking even more about what I do and how I'm not where I currently am."

"Have you thought about doing something with rape survivors or perhaps some other organization that deals with victims or victims' rights?" Carmen asked.

"I have, but I just don't know if it is feasible." I stated honestly.

"Okay, I can understand that. So, in addition to the homework I gave you about your relationship with Jasper, I also want you to give serious consideration to the idea of changing your job. Take the time to list the negatives and positives as well as what scares you. Only then will you be able to better make a decision."

I nodded, because I knew she was right. "I will."

"Well, it looks like our time is up. How about the same time next week?" Carmen asked.

"That will work," I told her as we made our way out to her receptionist so that the appointment could be made.

After I left Carmen's office I headed home. Edward was working tonight so I knew I wouldn't see him until at least sometime tomorrow. When I got home I made my way to the bathroom and drew myself a hot bath. As the day was wearing on I was not feeling so hot. I hoped that the bath would relax me enough so that I could maybe get some sleep and fend off the impending headache I could feel starting.

After my bath I took some medicine for my head, which just continued to get worse. I then made myself a cup of hot and crawled into bed. I didn't even bother grabbing my book or turning the television on because I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy them the way I was feeling. When I had finished about half my tea I snuggled under the blanket as I welcomed the sleep that overtook me.

About halfway through the night I woke with a start and darted toward the bathroom, barely making it before the vomiting began. When my stomach was completely empty and I was finally able to get up without rushing back toward the toilet, I brushed my teeth and made my way back to my bedroom. I grabbed a wastebasket on my way through, just in case I couldn't' make it to the bathroom next time, and placed it beside the bed before I crawled back under my blankets.

I was freezing and couldn't stop shivering. I turned my mattress pad on and burrowed under the covers praying for sleep to overtake me once again and for me to feel better when I woke again.

I don't know how long I lay there before I finally succumbed to the darkness.

EPOV

Even though she didn't say much about it I could tell that Bella was struggling after her meeting with Jasper. I listened as she told me about their meeting but I didn't press her for further details after she initially told me about it.

I noticed that she seemed to be a little more distant and that she was throwing herself into her work more. I had decided to give her space and not press her until at least after her appointment with Carmen. Unfortunately, since we had lunch earlier this week our schedules have conflicted leaving us little time to spend together. I had tried to call her last night to see how her appointment went but I wasn't able to reach her. I chalked it up to the fact that she was probably tired after the emotional week she had experienced.

When I still hadn't been able to get in touch with Bella this morning I started to worry a little bit. Therefore, the minute I got off work I decided to head over to Bella's place. I knocked on the door when I got there, but there was no answer so I pulled the key she had given me out and unlocked the door to let myself inside. I called out for Bella once I was inside, but again there was no answer.

I made my way back towards Bella's bedroom. I couldn't hide the concern when I saw Bella obviously shivering under her blankets. I went over to her and put my hand on her forehead only to find what I suspected. Bella was burning up.

I made my way to the bathroom to grab her thermometer and a wet washcloth. I brought them back to her room with me and used the washcloth to try and cool her down. As I wiped her face I tried to get her to wake up but it was no use. I decided that I would keep trying to cool her down for about an hour. However, I promised myself if her fever did not come down at all within the hour I would take her in and get her to the hospital.

About half an hour after I arrived, Bella seemed to be coming around a little bit. I was able to get her to take a few sips of water. Her fever still wasn't breaking but it wasn't rising either so I just continued with the course I was currently on.

Several hours later Bella was still fighting the fever and hadn't come around. I knew her fever wasn't high enough to warrant hospitalization at that point, but I also knew she shouldn't be left alone. Unfortunately I had to work so I wouldn't be able to stay with her. I thought about my options and finally called the one person I knew I could count on.

I dialed the phone and put it to my ear as I moved to the living room so I didn't bother Bella. The phone rang twice before it was answered.

"Hello."

"Hey Mom," I said.

"Edward, what how are you dear? How is Bella doing?"

"Actually that is why I'm calling." I told her.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" Mom asked concern lacing her voice.

"Actually, Bella is sick. Her fever isn't high enough to warrant taking her to the hospital, however, I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone when I go to work either."

"Would you like me to come stay with her?" Mom asked.

"That would be great if you wouldn't mind."

"What time to you have to work?"

"At 7."

"Okay, I will stop and grab some stuff for her and I will be there in about an hour."

"Thanks Mom," I told her right before we disconnected.

I moved back to Bella's room to check on her. Since I left her she had kicked off the covers and was tossing and turning in obvious discomfort. I went to the bathroom to wet the rag again before I returned to her room and began to once again wipe her face down. Before I knew it there was a knock on the door and I went to answer it.

I let out a sigh of relief at seeing my mom on the other side of the door. I opened the door and took the bags in Mom's hands from her and brought them into the kitchen.

"How is she doing?" Mom asked.

"She seems to be about the same. Her fever has been holding steady at 102, but what concerns me more than that is that she hasn't been lucid since I got here several hours ago." I told her with a sigh.

Mom just patted my hand and left me to go check on Bella herself. I stayed in the kitchen and started to unload the bags Mom brought with her. I chuckled to myself because if you didn't know better a person would think that Bella was her daughter. As I was finishing up with the groceries, Mom made her way back into the kitchen.

"How is she?" I asked.

"I would guess she is about the same as she was the last time you checked on her." Mom told me.

I shook my head as she walked over to me. "Son, I promise that I will keep an eye on her and if she gets worse I will call you or your father."

"I know Mom. I just feel so helpless." I told her. I looked at the clock and let out a sigh. I knew that I was going to have to leave soon so I could run home and grab some clean clothes before I headed into the hospital.

Before I could protest Mom was pushing me out of the apartment. She swore that she would keep and eye on Bella and keep me informed. Knowing I couldn't wait any longer I left to get ready for work.

I couldn't stop thinking about Bella as I got ready for work. However, when I got to the hospital there was a major car accident coming in so I had to put my worries aside as I prepared for the patients that were being brought in.

The time passed by quickly and before I knew it my shift was over half over. There was finally a lull in the action so I told the receptionist that I was going to head to my office for a few minutes. I made it approximately halfway to my office when I heard my father calling me from down the hall.

"Hey Dad, what are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I just got out of surgery a little bit ago."

"I didn't know you were working tonight." I told him.

"I wasn't supposed to, but I got called in earlier," he told me.

Dad was telling me about his surgery as we made our way down the hallway to my office. Right before we got there my pager went off.

"I have to go," I told my dad as I turned to make my way back to the Emergency Room. As I reached the Emergency Room my eyes were drawn to the worried face of my mom.

I quickly made my way over to my mom. "What's going on? Is Bella okay?" I asked her.

Tears started to pour down her face. "I don't know what happened. I checked on her and got her to sip some water about two hours ago. I went to make her some broth in hopes that I could get her to eat and when I came back her fever had spiked. I tried cold compresses but it kept rising. I thought about calling Jasper to have him help me get her in the car because I couldn't wake her, but I didn't want to wait so I called an ambulance."

"It's okay." I assured her. "Where is she?" I asked.

My mom couldn't even speak with the tears that were coursing down her face as she pointed to the curtained area behind me. I walked into the exam room to find Dr. MacGregor.

"Dr. Cullen, what can I do for you?" he asked as I walked in.

"The patient is my girlfriend," I told him. "What's going on with her?"

Dr. MacGregor didn't stop what he was doing as I answered him. He was spouting off a bunch of tests he wanted ordered to the nurse but I was so focused on Bella that I didn't register half of what he was ordering.

I could tell that Bella was having some difficulty breathing but I tried to stay out of the way so Dr. MacGregor could work on Bella. A few minutes later the nurse came back in with cooling blankets and as she was situating them on Bella Dr. MacGregor ushered me out of the room.

Once we were out of Bella's room he turned to me. "Bella came in with a temp of 104. Since she arrived it has continued to rise. I have done several tests and it seems that she has a bacterial infection. I am going to keep her sedated as we work to bring her body temperature down. Once she is situated in her room we will be better able to make her comfortable. Now does she have any family we should call?"

I was so in shock by what he had told me that I didn't realize that my parents were standing beside us until my dad spoke. "I will call her brother and let him know what is going on."

Dr. MacGregor excused himself and told me that he would let me know when Bella was settled in her room. My parents followed me as we made our way down the hallway so that we could call Jasper from my office. When we got there Dad offered to call but I shook my head. "I'll do it." I told him.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Jasper. It rang three times before he finally answered.

"Hello."

"Hey Jasper it's Edward. " I said.

"Hey." Jasper replied.

I took a deep breath before I continued. "Jasper, I need you to come down to the hospital. Bella has been admitted."

"What happened? Why?" Jasper asked, obviously panicked.

"Calm down. She spiked a fever so my mom brought her in. She seems to have a bacterial infection and needs to be admitted."

"I will be there in twenty minutes," Jasper said before he hung up.

My parents and I made our way upstairs. While I had been on the phone Dr. MacGregor had gotten her admitted to a room up in the ICU. Despite the fact that my father and I both worked at the hospital we abided by the ICU rules. My parents told me that they would wait in the waiting room for Jasper while I went in with Bella.

I made my way into her room and felt so helpless as I looked at her frail body under the cooling blankets. The nurse was taking her vitals and she advised me that he temp was still 104 but it seemed to be holding steady with the help of the cooling blankets. I moved over to the opposite side of the bed that the nurse was on and took a seat next to her. I wanted to grab hold of her hand to let her know that I was there but I knew that the heat of my body could counteract the actions of the blanket.

I sat there whispering to Bella how much I loved her. I don't know how long I sat there before the door opened and Jasper was standing there.

He made his way into the room and as he looked at her I could see a tear escape his right eye. He came over and stood next to me.

"How is she doing?" he asked.

"The nurse said that her temp is finally stabilizing. It is still way too high which is why she is under these cooling blankets," I explained.

"Is she sleeping?"

"They had to sedate her. It will protect her and help the medications work better. It will also hopefully help her body fight off the infection."

"Why did she wait so long to go to the doctor?" Jasper asked, seemingly exasperated.

"I don't think she necessarily did. My guess is that she was run down before so when the infection hit it hit hard. I saw her yesterday and while she had a temperature it was a lot lower. The only reason she is here now is because I called my mom to stay with her when I left for work."

I looked up at Jasper after I finished speaking to find tears streaming down his face. I could see the look of despair in his eyes and no matter how much I wanted to comfort him my main concern right now was Bella.

AN

As I indicated in the last AN, I have been dealing with a family illness that has made finding time to write a little difficult. I had hoped to get this chapter posted earlier this week, but unfortunately I ended up with a death in the family. However, I still wanted to get the chapter posted before the holiday so it is being posted as I get ready to leave for the funeral. I apologize for any mistakes that I might have missed.

Also, I do not work in the medical field so please chalk any mistakes up to artistic license.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

See you next time.

Gypsy411