I watch Amandla's small form running away with tears in the corners of my eyes. That's when I notice the pain in my thigh that's almost bringing me to my knees. I stumble over, and get up. Wren catches me before I faceplant. I open the ragged edges of slashed fabric wider to get a better look at my wound. It's red and gaping. It looks pretty deep. I experimentally try a few steps. I can manage walking.
"Let's go," I say harshly, not wanting to stay another minute in this place that now holds terrible memories. The bodies are still sprawled out on the floor, proof of my crimes. I'm a killer now. They did it. They won. The Capitol owns my innocence. I will never again be guiltless. I have two corpses on my conscience: Ace and Marina.
I'm only fourteen! I still have so much to live for! But part of me died along with those two tributes. I have been replaced with an evil, unfeeling, murderous version of myself. I walk right in to the forest. I walk straight, heading towards our old cave. I know Amandla won't be there. She needs some time.
We arrive right at nightfall. I collapse into the cave, and Wren follows. I'm so tired. I sleep a long, restless sleep.
Again, slanted gray light. A forest. My forest, in District Twelve. One word. Home. What is home? my semi-conscious from wonders. Bailey arrives, chased by Takeda. I try to talk to them but they don't hear me. "Bailey! Bai-leeey! Takeda!" I shout, but it's no use. Suddenly, Peacekeepers barge in. There are screams, and they're being taken away. "NO!" I scream desperately. For the first time, Bailey looks straight at me. "Remember!"
I open my eyes. Wren is awake, probably woken up by me. "Another bad dream?" I nod.
"What if… what if Bailey and Takeda were dying right now?" I ask, almost to myself.
"They're not."
"How do you know?" I almost shout. "They could be dying now, starving!"
"You worry too much. All the worrying in the world won't affect them." He says.
I sit back, somewhat subdued.
"I want to go home," I say plaintively.
"You will."
"No, I won't. We're in the Huger Games, might I add," I say, annoyed at his optimism.
"You will, and I promise," he says. I remember his crazy plan.
"Will you?" I ask.
"I'll see."
That seems a little grim for an outlook. I remember Takeda's words.
"Don't sacrifice yourself," I tell him.
"Don't worry," he says, and pulls me down into a lying down position, so I finally shut up and go to sleep.