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"And without reason, you can't even concoct a lie for me this time?" His blue eyes bore into me, I feel his uneasiness, his anger bubbling just beneath the surface, his fear of unknowing. "I could tell for awhile. That story about separating from Justice and now this. You are so secretive as of late...Anders...let me help you. You know I fully support your cause..." He is pleading desperate to be let in and a part of me wants to open, open up to him about what must be done, tell him every bloody detail...but Issac, he wouldn't understand...he wouldn't understand why such drastic measures are needed. Even though he has fought and killed before, his heart remains naive.

"Your title, your position in the city, I cannot risk putting you in that position love. Just please I need you to distract her." One more thing, just this last task...

"Fine, fine." He grunts slumping down in his chair. "I promised to help Merrill with something."

"Probably having to do with blood magic and that damn mirror."

"You don't have to come!" He sighs knowing good and well that I will, and that I will make my opinion known loudly the entire time.

…...

"You didn't have to be so cruel." Issac drags his toes on the dirt biting his lip. I can see he is holding back on my behalf.

"Well she learned a lesson about blood magic and dealing with demons."

"She lost her Keeper, her whole clan has abandoned her! And they will all say that it is her fault, all of it!" Issac shouts finally letting go of his emotions.

"Well isn't it?" I reply bitterly. Demons, blood magic, things we cannot tolerate, will not tolerate. His eyes narrow and fists clench and for a moment I fear his temper, but that moment passes as his eyes soften.

"Were you this callous before him?" He turns away before I can answer.

…..

He's done his part brilliantly, he even argues with the Grand Cleric about mages using my points, my words roll off his lips albeit pronunciation and syntax a bit off. The last charges are set...soon...soon. Justice, this feeling, fulfillment, fulfillment of purpose. Euphoria...I tell Issac, we bow to him for he has advanced our cause more than he knows. He eyes me oddly but this feeling, soon we will have action, no more shall our movement for freedom lay stagnant. In this brief moment I don't think of the betrayal, the fall, and what will come after. No, now only a contentedness I have never felt before fills my being.

…..

I don't have much time left, this I know for certain. Issac is a man of principle and he will do what is right and we will die, or at least I will die. That is why Justice affords me this one luxury. I purchase them with funds I have scrapped together for clinic supplies. Not many refugees visit me these days. The black robes fit me perfectly. My funeral garb...I wonder if they will even burn my remains...or if they will desecrate my body...not that it matters...no it doesn't.

…..

He didn't take the conversation well, and I don't blame him. We spend our entire lives with literature, songs, poems, and plays telling us love conquers all, that love is the most powerful force in all Thedas, that nothing is more important than love, and this simply is not true. To sacrifice my love, my happiness for others to have the opportunity to live in a world where they will be allowed to love and be loved. He was all worked up having just helped that hateful elf kill his old Master and he comes home to find me trying to give away the only item that really means anything to me, a pillow my mother made me. It was the only thing the Templars let me keep of hers. Varric polity refused the gift...He is unaware of the finality of it all...I wish he would have just taken it...

"You are the most important thing in my life Issac...but somethings matter more than my life. I always said I would break your heart, just know it breaks mine to do so." His jaw drops and he attempts to argue panicked. I am unmoving dying inside as his voice grows weaker and to great sobs. There is nothing that can change our course, nothing can change the action that must be taken. Issac pushes past me muttering that he has to clear his head, but I know he is only going to Hanged Man, to drink himself into a stupor so he can forget how he feels, how I have made him feel.

I follow a short ways behind. I love him, I worry about him, he will be better off without me if this is what I do to him. I stand out of sight as I watch him down pint after pint of amber ale. Some patrons recognize him, how could they not, the man who rid the city of the Qunari, the man who cleaned up the streets from bandits and thugs, the man who had rid hidden cairns of demon allied bloodmages, the man who traipses around Hightown without a shirt. A woman makes his way to him her hand slides up his leg, she leans in and whispers into his ear. The red-head weasels her way on to his lap and Issac does nothing but stare into his drink. I cannot even work up the energy to feel enraged as I should. What does this matter if tomorrow I am to die? Yet I cannot fight the pang in my chest as this stranger tries to wrap her arms around my Issac.

I have to leave I don't want to watch this... but there is a thud and a commotion. The woman lies unceremoniously on the floor. Issac standing over her. "I'm sorry but I said I was taken." She grimaces pride wounded and my heart leaps unexpectedly. In some ways it would have been easier if he could just forget me, to lose himself to booze and women, but as I watch him throw some gold on the bar I realize that neither one of us really wants that at all.

…...

We make love that night. He never looks away. In between the heat, the sweat, and the friction of our bodies coming together he says, "Tell me you love me." I tell him over and over until we both reach completion and lay next to each other catching our breaths. "I'm losing you." He whispers as he pulls me close. It is true, more than he knows.