The Final Saga: Part 1
Lil Joker's Rampage!
Quotes from the Third:
"So what's next?..." said Shaundi..."What's next is you go back to Stilwater..." said the Boss..."What?...No...This is my fight too..." said Shaundi as she reach for a upgraded Kobra..."Girl you don't get messy...Let us take care of business..." said Pierce..."Fuck you...I'm doing this for Johnny..." said Shaundi...The Boss and Pierce agreed..."Alright, Well...if we're bring in the boys, we're gonna need a new place..." said the Boss..."You're worried about real-estate?...We have guns, let's use 'em..." said Shaundi as she came close to the Boss..."Relax Shaundi...We got it all covered..." said the Boss...
The Boss, Shaundi, Lin, and Carlos rushed towards Gat's location...They look at their phone of Gat, Pierce, and Angel handling the Dire Mafia and Mr. Akuji...
"Can this thing go any faster!..." yelled Lin...
"Its a fucking Ice Cream truck...not a race car!" yelled the Boss...
At the riverboat...Gat was handling the Yo Yo brothers and their deadly Yoyos...Pierce was taking on Rya Jewels...and Angel was taking on Mr. Akuji...
The YoYo Brothers kept hitting Gat in the head with their Yoyos as they dodge his bullets...
"Will you stop with the fucking toys already!...Is that all you bitches can do!..." yelled Gat...
Both Yo Yo brothers pulled back their Yo Yos...
"Seems Mr. Gat thinks our Yo Yos are nothing, but toys Cho Cho..." said Bo Bo...
"I see...Why don't we show him what our Yo Yos can do Bo Bo..." said Cho Cho...
They threw their Yo Yos in the air as they release razor blades from them...
"What the fuck!..." yelled Gat...
They pulled them back and was ready to attack again...
"I think its about time we end this Bo Bo..." said Cho Cho...
"I do agree Cho Cho...Time to cut Mr. Gat into pieces..." said Bo Bo...
They launch their Yo Yos as Gat dodge but kept getting cut by the Yo Yos as they kept coming at him...Pierce was still handling Rya Jewels...Rya Jewels dodge Pierce bullets and punches with his Italian Pimp Cane...
"Is that all you got Playboy?...Here why don't I make this easier..." said Rya as he remove the tip of the cane to pull out a black diamond sword...
"Oh Shit!...Well...two can play at that shit!" yelled Gat as he reach into a Coat Rack right by him and pulled out a Umbrella...
Rya laugh at Pierce as he pointed the Umbrella at him...
"What the fuck are you going to do with that?...Make sure I don't get rain on bitch?...Well playboy...I guess killing you will be more enjoyable than I thought!..." said Rya as he reach in to attack Pierce...
They both fought with their weapons...dodging and hitting sword with Umbrella...Angel and Mr. Akuji was still fighting...even though Angel had the upper hand...but Mr. Akuji was quicker...He try grabbing him, but also kept dodging bullets coming from Adriano...
"Your luchador skills are to be admired...but you lack speed..." said Mr. Akuji...
"Your speed is good...but you lack strength and brains to combat your opponent...I'm dodging your moves at the same time of dodging bullets from that scared asshole!" said Angel...
Adriano laugh as he shot bullets at Angel...
"Dance luchador...Dance!" yelled Adriano as he contiuned to laugh...
Dane Vogel was in the corner with a pistol...he kept his guard so that no one wouldn't touch him...
The Boss and the others were racing down and were almost there...Until the S.W.A.T team in a black hummer came over on the side of them while they were driving...One of them got on speaker phone...
"The one that's driving the Ice Cream truck...Stop in the name of the law...pull over or we will be force to take you in to custody..." said the S.W.A.T member in the black hummer...
The Boss kept driving...Lin look on the side of the window and flick them off...
"The one that just gave me the bird...I have you know that I am married...I don't wanna fuck you...I just want you to stop the Ice Cream Truck..." said the S.W.A.T member...
Shaundi pulled out and pistol and shot the S.W.A.T hummer and blew out the tire...
"Well we won't be hearing from them no more..." said Shaundi...
Until a helicopter came out of no where and came above them shining a spotlight on them...
"The one that just shot the S.W.A.T car...The one that is Shaundi...I'm competing to sleep with you on your new reality show..."I Wanna Sleep With Shaundi..." Please pull over the Ice Cream truck and turn yourself in...so I have a chance to lose my virginity..." said the S.W.A.T member...
"Man these S.W.A.T members are wierd as fuck..." said Carlos...
The S.W.A.T helicopter shot down and blew out the Tire on the Ice Cream Truck...
"Fuck!...No!" yelled the Boss as the Ice Cream truck started to shake...
The whole entire wheel just fell over as the whole Ice Cream Truck landed on its side and slided down the street...As it stop the Police Cars, S.W.A.T cars, and the S.W.A.T Helicopter landed by it, surrounding it...
Troy Bradshaw came in his car at the scene...He got out his car and lit a cigarette...He walk over to the back of the truck as the S.W.A.T saluted him...
"Good job boys...now make sure your guns are ready...and aimed...I want this fucking Game to be Over..." said Troy...
As the S.W.A.T opened the back of the Ice Cream Truck...The Boss and the others were gone...
"What the fuck!..." yelled Troy...
He look and saw they burnt a hole through the truck and escaped while it was sliding...He look around the area and spotted them in a speedboat traveling fast...
He flick his cigarette to the ground and stomp on it...
"I hate fucking goose chases!" yelled Troy...
The S.W.A.T loaded up as the chase contiuned...
Back on the riverboat...Gat, Pierce, and Angel weren't getting no where with the fight...and was running out of time...Gat had to think of something or they'll be killed within a minute...As Gat kept dodging...he figured out everyone was fighting their own fight...Adriano kept shooting at Angel and Dane Vogel was only watching...Gat smiled and thought of a plan...
"Hey kiddies...Your Yo Yos can't hurt me Hoe Hoe...put down the toys and do some real damage!..." yelled Gat...
"Mr. Gat is getting on my nerves Cho Cho..." said Bo Bo...
"I agree Bo Bo...Lets both launch our Yo Yo's at him to shut his mouth!" yelled Cho Cho...
Gat had a plan ready...Rya Jewels and Pierce were still going at it...until Rya sliced the Umbrella Pierce had in half...
"Oh Shit!..." yelled Pierce...
Rya kick Pierce down as he's about to finish Pierce off with the final blow...
"Time to die playboy..." said Rya...
Pierce covered himself as Gat rush over by Rya as the Yo Yo Brothers launched their Yo Yos...Gat dodged as the Yo Yos went through Rya...The Yo Yo Brothers were shocked to see that their Yo Yos went into Rya...Rya fell to the floor as he was coughing up blood...Pierce look and saw that Rya is dead...
"What happened?..." said Pierce...
As Adriano look at Rya on the ground shocked, still contiuning to shoot without looking...Mr. Akuji screamed in pain as Adriano accidently shot Mr. Akuji in the chest...Angel then grab Mr. Akuji by the neck and chokeslammed him on Rya's body on top of the Razor Blades Yo Yos...
"No!" yelled Adriano...
Cho Cho and Bo Bo try pulling on their Yo Yos to whine them back up...but they are stuck inside Mr. Akuji and Rya...
Gat grab Rya Jewels sword and snap the string in half cutting off their Yo Yos...
"Uh oh..." said Bo Bo and Cho Cho as they look at each other...
"That's right...Did you mother ever taught you your a little to big for toys?..." said Pierce...
"This isn't good Bo Bo!..." yelled Cho Cho...
"No this isn't Cho Cho..." said Bo Bo...
"No it isn't...but Mr. Angel...show them the double chokeslammed of hell...if you please" said Gat...
"No problem Mr. Gat..." said Angel...
He came over to them...they both try running and but Gat held double pistols up to Bo Bo and Cho Cho...Adriano aimed his gun at Gat, but Pierce aim his gun at Adriano...
"Sorry...looks like this isn't your day man..." said Pierce...
Angel grab both Bo Bo and Cho Cho and held them up by their necks...They struggle, as Angel tight grip holds them...He charge to the window and broke through it...and chokeslammed both of them outside while a laser beam shot out of the sky and killed both the Yo Yo brothers...
Adriano look as he was the last remaining Dire Mafia left...They all came up close by him...
"What should we do with him?..." said Angel...
Their phones started to act up as Lil Joker popped on their screens...
"Cut off his two fingers...and then...Tie him up...and leave him..." said Lil Joker as he cuts off...
They all look at each other...
"Please...Please...I have tons of money...I...I I I...I'll do whatever you ask...just please...don't kill me...I have a wife and two kids...well maybe not two...but please I admire you Saints and even you Mr. Gat..." said Adriano...
"Well you heard the man..." said Gat...
Gat grab Adriano and put him on the meeting table...and held a gun up to his head...
"Don't move..." said Gat...
Angel use the rope from the Yo Yos and tied Adriano up...Pierce grab Mr. Akuji's foot and took off his shoe and grab his sock...
"Damn!...He foot stank as hell!" yelled Pierce...
"Wait!...What are you doing!" yelled Adriano...
"I said...Don't move!...and don't even talk..." said Gat...
They tied up Adriano to the table...and Gat pulled out a knife...
"Wait!...You don't need to do this!...Please no!...Have mercy on me!" yelled Adriano...
"Pierce...put the fucking sock in his mouth...His whining is starting to piss me off..." said Gat...
Pierce put the dirty sock into Adriano's mouth...
"Don't scream..." said Gat as he slowly began cutting Adriano's fingers...
Adriano scream and cried out in pain as his fingers are slowly being cut off...Pierce look away as Angel look for Dane Vogel...Blood was squirting on Gat's jacket...Adriano kept screaming and crying as two of his fingers are now cut off...Adriano look at his hand and see that blood is squirting from his missing fingers...
"Lets get the fuck out of here..." said Gat...
Angel and Pierce walk away and left Adriano on the table bleeding to death screaming in pain...They both and went outside as Angel look for Dane Vogel...
As they went outside Angel followed behind...
"Hey I can't find that bitch!...I thought that insane fuck would have killed him by now!" yelled Angel...
"Fuck him...He's no threat...He's nothing but a bitch..." said Gat...
They look at their phones and saw The Boss was on his way...Dane Vogel apparently snuck away...He went into the river under the boat when he had the chance, thinking Lil Joker couldn't spot him...He went above the water far away from the river boat...He look back and saw that Lil Joker didn't spot him...
"Ha!...I'm still alive!...I'm still alive!...You assholes still can't kill me that quickly!..." yelled Dane Vogel...
but once he turn around...A boat struck him smashing his skull killing him...
"What was that?..." said Lin...
"It was probably a log or something..." said Carlos...
The Boss came up to the river boat and saw Gat, Pierce, and Angel...They all spotted each other...Gat, Pierce, and Angel loaded up on a yacht right by the river boat...The Boss pulled over the speed boat and went by the yacht...The Boss and the others loaded up on the yacht thinking it was a good way for Troy not to spot them...Angel drove the boat away from the river boat...On the river boat...
Adriano was in pain screaming...until his cellphone act up...He had a old cellphone that was bigger and larger (Those 80's cellphones..) ...He struggle to answer the phone, but manage to do so...he press the talk button and put it on speaker and then threw the phone on top of his chest...
"Who is this..." said Adriano as he struggle to talk...
"Hello Capo..." said Lil Joker...
"You stupid son of a bitch!...I should have burn you a long time ago!" yelled Adriano...
"And I should have killed you a long time ago...You were so blind thinking that I would keep running with you my whole life..." said Lil Joker...
"When I get out of this...and when I find and kill you...I'll go to your grave and piss on it...hell...even shit on it if I feel like it..." said Adriano...
"Too bad that won't never happened...I got to go because the big finale is about to come...goodbye Capo...It was nice knowing you...Enjoy shitting yourself..." said Lil Joker as he hung up...
Adriano look to the ceiling as a large missile shot down and exploded the river boat...
Everyone on the yacht look back and saw the explosion...Carlos look on his phone instead...Everyone sat around each other look at the explosion...
"The quality of this is great...but I still don't understand how he can hack traffic, security, and hidden cameras..." said Carlos...
"I don't give a fuck Carlos...Even though we kill off the bitches that were in our way...we still got one more insane bitch to kill..." said the Boss...
Everyone cellphone was acting up as Lil Joker was ready to deliver his final message...Everyone look at the Plasma screen T.V. on the wall of the Yacht and saw the Lil Joker puppet again...
"Well done...you made your choice wisely...I would have killed Gat, Pierce, and that luchador for not coming in time...but its good to know that its always best to save Women and children first..." said The Lil Joker puppet...
"I'm not a fucking kid!" yelled Carlos...
"Hush Carlos..." said the Boss...
"Now your final T.V. moment...come to the Stilwater Carnival...You and me will face off one more time...come or you can tell Kinzie GAMEOVER!..." said the Lil Joker Puppet as the Boss turns off the T.V...
The Final Fight between the Boss and Lil Joker...
Will he be able to get Kinzie back?...
Will the Boss be able to take Lil Joker or will die at his hands?...
FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN THE NEXT CRAZY STORY!
Please Review Saints Row Fans...