In The Shape Of Things To Come
Sucker love is heaven sent. You pucker up, our passion's hearts a tart, your body's rent. My body's broken, yours is your name into my arm. Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
Just another day with life on the road, only today no job consumed their minds. The group took in a little rest and relaxation on Haley's orders before picking up the paper trail, and finding another job.
Tangled leisurely together like lovers sometimes do, the comfortable safety of being close to someone who completes and fills the heart. Dean and Haley lie sprawled on the motel mattress wasting the afternoon together.
The old TV stood as their entertainment and soundtrack. Dean played it off as if he wasn't fully interested in "Dr. Sexy M.D." Playing as a marathon on the television screen.
Snuggled close in his arms embrace, Haley pretended watching the ridiculous show was her idea and not her boyfriend's. Allowing him his male dignity even though his eyes were clearly glued to the screen, Haley's on the other hand couldn't seem to focus at all.
On this quiet beautiful day something burdened Haley's heart. Something that had been eating at her for over a week, but until today she was too afraid to confront . The enormity of it was daunting, but it was also a nagging that wouldn't go away until faced head on. Unable to live with it wrestling in the pit of her stomach another day, Haley chose today to call it out by name and face her fears.
As the show finally went to commercial, Haley saw her moment to catch her love's attention with a little word play she hoped would sound nonchalant.
Haley had to know how Dean felt, because his opinion was pivotal, even if he didn't know it yet.
"So what do you think of kids?" Haley spoke up out of the blue. Keeping her tone light as her eyes glued to the television so he couldn't see the nervous importance in her orbs.
The random nature of her question threw Dean through a loop. His mind unsure of how to answer. "Kids?" He repeated, hoping she'd be a little more specific with the answer she was looking for.
"Yeah," Haley nodded against his chest, her cheek burrowed in deeper against his tee-shirt, because his musky scent gave her strength.
"What do you think of kids? You know, in general." Haley pressed, hoping her voice didn't sound too interested. As if this topic was something as simple as the weather.
Dean scratched the side of his scalp a little. Her question a topic he had never put much thought into. "Um, they're short little people," He chuckled to himself in amusement.
When Dean didn't hear her laugh back, he knew she wanted something with a little more thought.
"Uh, kids are great… What do you want me say?" Dean answered honestly with a shrug of his shoulders, as his course hand tangled in her silky locks that were begging to be touched. Dean knew very little about kids. In fact the only real experience he ever had with them was raising Sammy, and he had just a been a kid himself then too. He felt like she was searching for something from him, but Dean wasn't sure exactly what it was.
Haley's heart sunk a little in her chest. His answer only proved he wasn't ready for this. Hell, she wasn't either, but at least she knew what sport they were playing. Dean wasn't even on the right field.
"Nothing, nevermind. It was just a silly question" She dismissed softly as she patted his taunt stomach playfully. Dropping the subject quickly before Dean grew curious. Haley hoped they wouldn't have to have 'that talk' in terms of anything other then hypothetical unless she knew there was something to talk about.
Even though deep in her heart, Haley was pretty sure she already knew, and just didn't want to admit it, not even to herself.
Saved by the bell, Dean's soap opera came back on just in time, and her words disappeared in the air as if they had never been shared at all.
As if on cue Sam walked in just then, his feet halting in the doorway as he eyed the pair. "Oh, if you were… I can leave." He rambled, their location on the bed made him question the appropriateness of his presence. Sam tried to be respectful of his brother and best friend's new relationship status.
Sucker love, a box I choose. No other box I choose to love I would abuse, No circumstances could the shape of things to come. Too much poison come undone.
Untangling from Dean, Haley sat up in bed with best friend's arrival. This was the moment. The fact that Sam walked in when he did proved it to her. It was now or never, her scared heart screamed.
"No, actually you're just the man I wanted to see." She smiled softly at Sam, and watched as a calm smile fill his face in return.
"I need you to run an errand with me." Haley's eyes pleaded with him, before she turned back to Dean to explain. "Girl stuff, you understand." Offering him a smile, she knew would win him over with her charm.
Dean chuckled to himself as Haley rose from the bed. "Oh I understand. Sam's the man, or should I say girl." More hearty chuckles slipped from his perfect pout as his playful emerald eyes lit up at his little brothers expense.
Sam frowned and grumbled with the lack of amusement, but as Haley took his hand to leave, he spotted the urgency in her eyes and complied. Following her out the door.
Out in the sun kissed parking lot as they made their way to the Impala, Sam couldn't help but bring up her less then flattering comment.
"Take my balls too why don't you, Hales." He sarcastically joked, showing his lack of humor in her choice of words.
Haley's eyes lit up as she reached the passenger side door, and her gaze fell upon him. Giggles slipped from her rounded lips. "Oh Sam, I have no interest in your balls." She laughed, shooting him a grin that always got in under his ribs.
Despite his desire to be frustrated with her, Sam found himself chuckling along with her. The way Haley always managed to show him the bright side won his heart every time.
Ten minutes later the stunning Impala and it's occupants sat parked outside the local medical clinic, Haley had discreetly looked up while Dean was in the bathroom earlier that day.
"Haley?" Sam's cautious puppy dog eyes turned to her in the passenger seat. Question suspended in his gaze.
Taking a deep breath, Haley made a confession that at this point she could have only bared to tell her best friend.
"Remember last week when you asked me if I could be pregnant?" She questioned him with big nervous eyes before her lower lip slipped between her teeth with nervous tension.
Sam's sensitive whiskey eyes grew tenfold with her words. His face stilled on her in shock as his strong jaw went slack.
Seeing the hesitancy in her chocolate eyes, as she gazed upon that building as if it was the scariest thing she had ever seen, Sam knew Haley needed him. Still numb, he tried to support her the best his mind could process in the moment. Taking her hand in his, he squeezed it with reassurance. Reassurance that promised they'd figure this out together like everything else.
Twenty minutes passed as they sat in the doctor's office. Haley on the patients table, wax paper crinkled under her jeans with every fidgeting movement. While Sam stood steady by her side. Their eyes darted between the door and the ticking clock on the wall. Every second like a century as they waited for news that could change it all.
Breath quickening with each passing minute, Haley felt inside she already knew, but she had to be certain.
Finally the door quietly opened, and the air in their lungs held as Sam and Haley waited for word.
Looking over Haley's chart for a moment, the kind faced, middle aged woman looked up at the two with a soft smile on her face, and gave the verdict. "Well you're definitely pregnant. Congratulations you two, you're going to be parents. Always nice to see when couples come in together." She confirmed with a nod.
Shocked beyond belief it took Haley and Sam a moment before the Doctor's words sunk in, and their mouths shot to life at the same time. "No," they said in unison like trained monkey's, with a shake to their heads and matching dilated pupils.
Haley's startled eyes darted to Sam. "He's not," Her head shook frantically as Haley started to explain before Sam finished.
"I'm the uncle." He shot off in a ramble, his pupils equally the size of saucers.
"…Well not hers," Sam fumbled on loose lips, his mind spinning with shock, unable to form proper sentences.
"The baby's" Haley finished with a nod as she blindly gripped her best friend's hand tightly in reassurance, because in a second two very smart people had become stumbling idiots.
The smile widened on the physicians face with the apparent surprise they were tripping over in an attempt to digest, but her professional composure maintained. "Well family support is important just the same."
The doctor delivered her speech on the importance of prenatal care, went over how far along Haley was, and what symptoms she might expect before leaving them with some brochures. All the while Sam and Haley barely heard a word as a fog of disbelief descended upon them, and coherent thought disappeared in the mist.
Finally alone again in that sterilely hygienic, latex smelling room, the pair sat dumbstruck for a moment trying to digest the earth shattering news.
Gazing upon his best friend who suddenly had this radiant glow to her, and held new profound significance, Sam found his voice coming to life with breathless amazement.
"You're pregnant." He said as if the words barely made any sense.
Haley's big chocolate eyes shot to him. The weight of the world on her shoulders as apprehension blinded her eyes.
Her fear was justified, it swam in his heart too, but growing up with so little family, while being a man who cherished familiar bonds so much, Sam felt other emotions taking over his heart too.
A soft goofy smile took over his face and filled his sensitive eyes.
"You're actually pregnant." He beamed, as his giant rough hand softly reached out to stroke her cheek enduringly.
The light in his eyes touched Haley's heart, but couldn't banish the trepidation filling her orbs.
Her lower lip began to tremble as the emotions began to overwhelm her senses.
"I'm pregnant… Ten weeks pregnant. Sammy, what am I going to do?" Haley confessed on a thick breath as tears filled her eyes.
In a second he went to her, like a good best friend would. Wrapping her in his strong arms as he pulled her close to his chest.
"It's ok. It's going to be ok. We'll get though this. Whatever you decide." He promised against the silky soft texture of her hair as she trembled in his arms. Trying not to make assumptions or project his own feelings onto her while she appeared so overwhelmed and fragile.
Wrapping him in a equally tight embrace, Haley clung on for dear life as she tried to let his words calm her soul. While deep inside a spark of joy began to burst with the life growing within her. A life created with a man she loved dearly. Haley didn't know what she was going to do. This complicated things drastically, but she knew one thing for certain. She had the choice of her life in her hands.
Sucker love is known to swing. Prone to cling and waste these up for heavens sake. There's never been so much at stake.
"Every you, Every me" Placebo