Soo... it's been a minute since I've updated. Nonetheless, I'm here to finish the story! :)

Chapter 38: Suffocation

Jack took a swig of his rum and leaned back in his chair, taking a break from studying the array of maps before him. He glanced out the porthole and, noticing the sun high in the sky, reached for his sword laying over the maps to hold them in place. Halfway there, his ringed hand froze, remembering that there would be no more sword-fighting lessons with Lauren. His fingers curled into a fist and he closed his eyes. Had he made the right decision? Was giving Lauren up for the rest of the crew and for the Black Pearl the right decision? He had tried to justify his decision at first, saying that she would go back to a good life and would be well-taken care of; but the more he thought about it, the more he knew he was wrong. She hated her old life. She had run away from it all before, and right when he had given her a glimpse of something new, he sent her packing right back to where she came from.

He rubbed his temple and brought the rum bottle to his lips. Empty.

He tossed the bottle across the room where it shattered. He strode from the room, needing the sun and wind on his face. He resumed his position at the helm and pulled out his compass. The needle spun for a few seconds, and then stopped in a fixed direction: west. He knew exactly what waited for him in the west.

The crew had been particularly quiet the last day. Lauren's sudden departure had left them all sombre.

The expression on Lauren's face when she realized what was happening, that Jack had given her to the Navy, flashed in front of his face. It pained him. He couldn't imagine what she must think of him now. No, what's worse is that he actually he could. He knew that life aboard the Pearl would have taught her a selection of good curses she could use to his name. He deserved it, too. Deserved her curses and so, so much more. Did he really mean those words he said to her on the island? You're a part of me crew! You belong on the Pearl and nowhere else.

He meant every word, of course he did. But how was she supposed to know that now? After everything, that one final action, that agreement with Hunter, made every word and every action a lie.

I'm a liar, Jack thought bitterly. A liar, and a coward.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

There was a soft knock on the door. After a moment, Hunter stepped inside the cabin, "Miss Stratford," he said slowly, gauging her mood. "We're nearing St. Christopher."

Lauren didn't turn to look at him, but after he left, she stood and stepped out onto the deck. There it was, St. Christopher, the happy little port. Except now, it didn't hold the same place in her heart that it did before. What was left for her now?

Her father and impolite society.

She sighed as she reached the railing. Lauren touched the sparrow pendant around her neck. She absent-mindedly pulled it out from her dress and twisted it in her hand.

"Your father has been alerted of our arrival. He'll be waiting at the docks." Hunter said, joining her side.

Lauren stopped playing with the pendant and casually slipped it beneath her dress once more. She couldn't even imagine the reunion with her father. Would he be angry? Yell and berate her for her incompetence and strong head? Or would he welcome her with open arms? Celebrate his prodigal daughter returning?

How would she react?

"Are you nervous?" He asked her.

Lauren was surprised by his question. "A little." She said quietly. "He is my father and what I did may not have been right, but even so… I still don't want to return. What will he think of that?"

Hunter turned his face away as the port loomed closer. "We'll find out soon enough." He dipped his head to her as he stepped away. He began to shout orders to the sailors as they prepared to dock. Lauren touched the sparrow pendant one more time, wishing that things would have turned out differently. But the sailors continued to scuffle around her and the ship neared and Lauren still remained.

She tried to compose herself, think of the words to say to her father. Hello father. I ran away but now I've been forcibly returned. How good it is to see you again. She tried not to snort. That would go over well. Hi father, sorry I ran away with pirates. Forgive me even though I've committed treason? She sighed.

"Miss Stratford?" Hunter was holding his hand out for her to take. The ship had already been docked and the gangplank lowered. She slowly took his hand and he helped her down from the ship to the docks. She had forgotten how cumbersome dresses could be – and how heavy. The air around her felt a million times warmer underneath all of her skirts and corset. She turned to Hunter to ask if they could find some shade when her eyes met with her father's.

She froze, all words that she may have prepared beforehand slipped away like dust in the wind. His face was unreadable and he stood frozen still, just as she was. They stood merely feet away from each other, but to Lauren, it felt like miles. He took the first step forward.

"Father—" She blurted and he instantly was there, wrapping her in his arms.

"Lauren," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," she said, the words tumbling out. "I shouldn't have left the way I did and-"

"We can talk later," he interrupted. "I'm just glad you are safe." He hugged her once more and then released her. He turned to Hunter and held out his hand to him. "I can't thank you enough." He said as Hunter took his hand and shook it. He didn't say anything else, but Lauren could tell the admiral's words meant the world to him. She could see it in his eyes.

"Come, there's a carriage waiting." Admiral Stratford offered his arm to her. Lauren slipped her arm into her father's and he led her to their carriage. After helping her inside, he climbed in and sat across from her. Lauren arranged her skirts and looked out the window, watching as the carriage took her farther from the sea.

Stratford cleared his throat and pulled Lauren's attention to him. He was looking down at his hands, and his lips were twitching as if he were trying to find the right words to say. Finally, he spoke. "Why did you leave?" His voice was hard, hurt.

So it begins, she thought. She took a deep breath and swore to only tell him the truth. "I was miserable. You were going to have me marry Percy, of all the men in the world, Percy."

"He's a respectable man—"

"—he's a monster."

"You would leave everything—me, your family, your honor, because of one man?"

Lauren was silent for a moment. "I didn't leave because of Percy. Yes, he was a big reason, but this town is so…so… oppressive. I can't breathe here. I can't live here. I'm constantly being held down by these rules and formalities—I was suffocating father, you have to understand. I couldn't do it. I can't do it. I would've done it for Gerard – in fact I would've been happy to live life here with Gerard. But all of that changed. I left because I had to do it for him. I was angry, I was hurt – by you especially. Yes, it was a rash decision, but it's not one I regret."

Stratford's face was stony. "So it's true. You joined a pirate crew?"

"Yes."

"My God," he breathed and his head sank down into his hands.

The next few minutes were tense and silent. Only the horse's hooves against the street outside and the rattle of carriage could be heard. Lauren's heart ached as she watched the pain she had caused her father, but also that he could be so stubborn, so set in his ways. Did he really not want her to be happy? Could he not understand what she was trying to tell him?

"We are never going to speak of this again." He said, raising his head from his hands, his face once more composed. Gone was the face of her father. Admiral Stratford looked at her instead.

"You were visiting Port Royal and were kidnapped by pirates. Hunter found you, rescued you, and you are eternally grateful."

"That couldn't be more of a lie."

The carriage rolled to a stop. "Not if you choose to believe it. I don't want to hear another word." With that, he climbed out of the carriage, not waiting for the doorman and headed up the path to their house. The driver helped Lauren out of the carriage and she looked up at her house. How could something be so grand, so magnificent, and yet be so cold and formidable? She slowly headed up the path and opened the door to the house. Stepping into the familiar foyer, she realized everything was the same except for her. She was the one that had changed.

A young maid stepped into the foyer at the same time and her eyes widened when she recognized Lauren. "Oh!" She cried, dropping the basket she had been carrying. "Miss Stratford! You're home!"

Lauren gave a faint smile and stooped down to pick up the basket. "It's good to see you again, Anna." She put it into her stunned hands and started up the stairs towards her room.

"But, Miss Stratford!" Anna said, "Your room isn't ready yet!"

"I think I will live."

Anna was caught between doing what she said and doing what her job entailed. She hesitated and then dipped her head, continuing on with her basket. Lauren continued down the hall until she reached her room. She pushed open the door and surveyed her bedroom. Her curtains were a new color and her bureau was strangely clutter-free. A thin layer of dust coated the furniture, but it was the same. She sighed and flopped onto her bed. She would have stripped off the now-uncomfortable dress and put on her breeches and shirt, but those had been confiscated by Hunter, so she was stuck in the dress.

She would put that on her list of things to do tomorrow, if she felt up to it. Perhaps at night, she could sneak out to the beach and find some reprieve there.

She must have fallen asleep because the knocking on her door awoke her. "Yes," she said, groggily wiping her eyes as she sat up.

Admiral Stratford stepped inside and gave her a wan smile. "Are you well-rested?" He asked as he joined her on the bed. Lauren nodded. "Good, I wanted to speak to you about something…" He trailed off as Anna knocked lightly on the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said timidly, "but someone is calling upon you, Admiral Stratford."

He agitatedly waved the maid away. "We'll discuss it later." He mumbled. After he had left the room, Anna poked her head inside.

"Miss?"

Lauren rubbed her temple. "Anna, please call me Lauren. Enough with the formalities."

"Lauren, then," she said, stepping further into the room. "I… this may be out of my place to ask, but…"

"Feel free to ask me anything," Lauren answered.

Encouraged, Anna said quickly, "Did you really run away with pirates?"

Lauren smiled and then laughed. "Come, have a seat." She patted the spot beside her on the bed and Anna joined her. "Yes, I really did. I miss it. I wish I wouldn't have had to come back."

"The freedom is enticing," Anna commented.

Lauren nodded. "Yes, that's exactly it. Everything here is so, so cooped up. I can't breathe."

"It's a shame that you're not happy. And no doubt it's a shame what your father's doing."

Lauren frowned. "Yes, but I guess in his imprisoning me in his home is what's best for me."

"Well not for long."

Lauren turned to her. "What do you mean not for long?"

Anna grew quiet. "Oh, Lauren, I thought you knew." Her voice was small. "Admiral Stratford, he…" she hesitated, as if it was not her place. "He's already planning your wedding."

"My wedding!" Lauren cried. "To who!"

Anna quickly stood to her feet. "I've upset you. I'm so sorry – I should leave!"

Lauren grabbed Anna's wrist. "Anna, this is my life. Who is my supposed fiancé?"

"It…It's Percy. Percy Williams."

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