I Dare You to Read This

by Catsrawesome

Let me get your attention. ahoedjhioaw3eyfok2rnujsjhfuqwjfujdejuirjjetfiokmlpostbvwau 0gkiaKRFDKLEDFKIWEFDJKDVH AKLVNfoldwfjdvkgeJJdzxncbvjsx Now some smiley faces: :):):):):):):):):):):) :):):):):) CYCLOPES! .).).).).).).).).).).).).) Now some cookies: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) DID IT! Do I care? No. Do you care? Let's find out. (Used to be just PJO fanfic)

35. The New Year's Randomest Ticking Noise

I WOULD SAY HI BUT I AM IN A LITTLE BIT OF AN EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW!

Percy: There is a bathroom right there...

NOT THAT KIND OF EMERGENCY!

Percy: Oh.

Happy New Years Eve, by the way!

Annabeth: Her demeanor changed quickly.

Ginny: Do you need to see a doctor?

PROBABLY!

Hazel: But what's wrong? Are you alright?

NO I AM NOT ALRIGHT! I AM PRETTY MUCH INSANE!

Piper: *sarcastically* really? We had no idea.

THEN START CATCHING UP!

Ok, this is why I am freaking out.

I got a review on my last chapter that my fanfic isn't RANDOM ENOUGH!

Leo: This fanfic isn't WHAT!?

Hermione: Ok, to whoever reviewed that-

SNOWSLAYER23!

Hermione: Ok, Snowslayer23!, based on what you have read-

THERE IS NO EXCLAMATION MARK IN SNOWSLAYER23!'S NAME!

Jason: You just put an exclamation mark in Snowslayer23!'s name when you said that there was no exclamation mark in his/her (sorry I don't know your gender) name.

WELL, YOU PUT AN EXCLAMATION MARK IN SNOWSLAYER23!'S NAME WHEN YOU TOLD ME I PUT AN EXCLAMATION MARK IN HIS/HER NAME WHILE I WAS TELLING HERMIONE THAT SHE PUT AN EXCLAMATION MARK IN HIS/HER NAME!

Jason: Well, YOU put-

Neville: I am so confused.

Harry: Same.

HARRY! GO IN TIME-OUT!

Harry: But Neville spoke too!

I DON'T CARE. IT IS FUNNIER FOR SOME REASON WHEN YOU ARE PUT IN TIME OUT!

Leo: *hums "Really Don't Care"*

Everyone else: LEO!

NO MORE SONGS! THE LAST CHAPTER WAS MADE ENTIRELY OF SONGS AND THAT WAS THE CHAPTER THAT WASN'T RANDOM ENOUGH! I AM SHUNNING ALL SONGS!

Until probably the next chapter when I am pretty much over all of this.

Hazel: I have an idea! How about we all say our New Year's resolutions?

Piper: Good idea! I'll go first...

Piper: This year, I will try my best to make other people feel pretty, even when they don't think they are pretty.

Jason: That's sweet, Pipes.

Piper and Jason: *have Twilight staring moment*

Leo: This is creepy.

Piper and Jason: SHUT UP!

Leo: Fine! I'll just say my resolution...

Leo: This year, I will try harder to improve my building skills, and try to act a little more serious.

NO! TAKE IT BACK! *raises sword threateningly*

Leo: I TAKE IT BACK! THIS YEAR I WILL BE FUNNIER! PLEASE DONT CUT OUT MY HEART!

*lowers sword*

Leo: So much for that...

Jason: This year, I want to be more patient with people and try to loosen up sometimes.

Percy: Good. You are always to uptight!

Jason: ...

Percy: Um... MY TURN!

Percy: This year, I will do everything in my power to make my girlfriend, Annabeth, happy.

Annabeth: *smiles at Percy*

Percy: I would say that I would try to improve my grade, but that is never going to happen.

Annabeth: *rolls eyes*

Frank: This year, I will try to become a better leader.

Hazel: You are a great leader already.

Frank: You don't have to say that, Hazel.

Hazel: But it's true!

Frank: You are too nice.

Hazel: No, you are too nice

Frank: No, YOU are-

NEXT!

Hazel and Frank: *look up confused*

Annabeth: This year, I will try to be more selfless, and do everything in my power to make Percy happy.

Percy: *smiles*

Annabeth and Percy: *have Twilight staring moment*

HAZEL!

Annabeth and Percy: *look up confused*

Hazel: This year, I just want to become a better person, and a better demigod.

Frank: You can't make that resolution!

Hazel: Why not?

Frank: You can't possibly improve yourself!

Hazel: You are very sweet.

Frank: No, you are very sweet!

Hazel: No, YOU-

GO CALYPSO!

Hazel and Frank: *look up confused* *shrug and start having Twilight staring moment*

Calypso: This year, I want to become better at healing, so I can help more people. I also want to become better with mechanics.

Leo: I can help you with that last part.

Calypso: Thanks Leo.

*have Twilight staring moment*

Leo: Oh my gods are we doing it too!?

Yup.

NEXT!

Hermione: This year, I will try to get more members for S.P.E.W.

Leo: What is spew?

Hermione: It isn't spew! Its S.P.E.W! The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare!

Everyone else: ...

Jason: She isn't serious, is she?

Neville: Unfortunately, she is.

Ginny: This year, I will try to be friendlier.

Ginny: *whispers* and try to stop Hermione's resolution.

Everyone but Hermione: *smiles*

Hermione: Why are you smiling?

Everyone Else: NOTHING!

Luna: This year, I will try to catch the Crumble-Horned Snorkack once and for all!

Annabeth: What the heck is a Crumble-Horned Snorkack?

Hermione: It doesn't exist.

Luna: It does too!

Hermione: No it-

Ginny: Just let it go, Hermione.

Hermione: Fine...

Neville: This year, I will try to improve my potion skills.

Harry: Good idea. Remember Snape's classes?

Neville: Don't remind me...

HARRY! MAKE YOUR RESOLUTION AND THEN GET BACK IN TIME-OUT!

Harry: Fine... This year, I will try not to get on the wrong side of insane authors.

That's probably the best resolution anyone has made yet.

Everyone: *nods agreement*

NOW BACK IN TIME-OUT!

Harry: Yes, ma'am.

AND DON'T CALL ME INSANE! I KNOW IT'S TRUE BUT YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME THAT!

Everyone: ...

JUST MAKE YOUR RESOLUTION, RON!

Ron: This year, I want to improve my flying-

Piper: Flying?

Ron: On a broom.

Piper: I thought that only witches do that.

Hermione: Well, yes. The boys are wizards, but us girls are witches.

PJO Characters: ...

Percy: RUN!

PJO Characters: *run into wall conjured up by Catsrawesome*

Jason: IS THIS A BRICK WALL!?

Yup!

Leo: You can't escape the Brason!

Jason: SHUT UP!

STILL NOT RANDOM ENOUGH!

Everyone: *jumps*

ENTERTAIN THEM PEOPLE!

Everyone: ...

*crickets chirp*

OH, COME ON!

Everyone: ...

THAT'S IT! *waves hand frantically*

*tacos start raining from the sky*

Leo: TACOS! I LOVE TACOS!

Piper: BEEF! EVERY VEGITARIAN FOR HIM OR HERSELF!

Percy: There is no blue! MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING!

*turns tacos purple*

Percy: THAT'S NOT BLUE!

I LIKE PURPLE BETTER!

Leo: THIS IS SO AWESOME!

Jason: EVERYTHING IS PURPLE!

Ron: TACOS!

Annabeth: Why is everyone shouting?

Hermione: Yeah. I probably lost all of the hearing in my right ear!

Ron: Why your left ear?

Hermione: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!

Ginny: Who's shouting now?

Hermione: ...

I FORGOT ABOUT THE NERD OFF!

Annabeth: Man. I thought I was off the hook from fighting Hermione.

Well, YOU THOUGHT WRONG!

Hermione: At least she didn't shout the first word.

Annabeth: That's progress.

Hermione: Yeah. Hey, speaking of progress-

*The rest of this Nerd off lasts for six hours, and for fear of loosing my readers I have cut that part out. I didn't remember any of it anyway. Either it was too boring, or I fell asleep. Probably both*

Hermione: So I discovered this spell that could help me read faster!

Annabeth: That's awesome! I can't read English that well. I am Dyslexic. But I can read Ancient Greek pretty well!

Hermione: Maybe you could teach me! It would be so fascinating to-

ENOUGH! YOU BOTH WIN!

Hermione: Oh! Well, congratulations Annabeth.

Annabeth: Same to you. What did we win again?

Everyone else: *snores*

NOT RANDOM ENOUGH!

Everyone: *wakes up with a start*

Jason: *bangs head on brick ceiling* *falls unconscious*

Ginny: What is a brick ceiling doing above Jason?

Because I feel like it.

Leo: *cough* Brason *cough*

WE NEED MORE RANDOM STUFF! MAKE COOKIES APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE!

*millions of stacks of cookies appear out of nowhere*

Ron: COOKIES!

Neville: Are they hot? Because my grandmother said that I can't eat hot cookies or I might burn myself.

THEY AREN'T FOR YOU GUYS!

Everyone: Awwwww...

IT IS FOR THE READERS! WE NEED TO HAVE OUR DAILY "SPLAT!"

Annabeth: How are cookies going to 'Splat'? Won't they hurt?

Not if they are WET!

Everyone: HUH!?

Hermione: She is showing improvement!

Annabeth: Yeah. Four words not in caps!

Hazel: But how are they going to get wet?

*makes red pool appear*

Percy: Is that BLOOD!?

Yeah. I am a vampire.

Leo: RUN AWAY!

*grabs Leo*

Leo: AHHH! DON'T SUCK MY BLOOD!

I was being sarcastic.

Leo: Oh.

The pool isn't blood.

Everyone: *looks relieved*

It's WORSE!

Everyone: *looks horrified*

Nico: What is worse that blood- PLEASE DON'T CHANGE MY NAME!

*presses button*

Ico: WHY DO I EVEN KEEP APPEARING!

Because I want you to.

Ico: BUT_

OH! I actually finished the game Ico! It was awesome!

Harry: And depressing.

DON'T INSULT ICO! GET BACK IN TIME-OUT!

Harry: Yes, ma'am.

Piper: I am a little scared to find out, but what is in the pool?

The pool is filled with...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

...

Everyone: ...

Pause for dramatic effect...

Frank: JUST TELL US! THE SUSPENCE IS KILLING ME!

Ok, it is filled with Kool Aid.

Everyone: WHAT!?

Ico: ...

Percy: You ok, Ico?

Ico: *glares*

Percy: I mean Nico?

Ico: Must... resist... temptation?

I NEED TO GET WILL IN THE PICTURE!

Piper: Will? Why Will?

Ico: DON'T YOU-

Because Nico is gay and he likes Will and I am assuming Will is gay but just in case I am going to make him gay and I LOVE SOLANGELO!

Leo: I am sorry, what? Can you repeat that?

OK! Because-

Ico: DON'T REPEAT IT!

Percy: You're gay?

YOU ALREADY KNOW, SEAWEED BRAIN! HE TOLD YOU!

Percy: When did he do that? AND ONLY ANNABETH CALLS ME SEAWEED BRAIN!

Will: This is awkward.

NOT AWKWARD ENOUGH! *pushed Ico and Will in Kool Aid pool*

*some Kool Aid gets in Ico's mouth*

~Five Seconds Later~

Everyone: *dancing in the Kool Aid pool*

Ron: THIS IS AWESOME!

Ginny: Why are so many people missing?

Well, Annabeth and Percy are somewhere at the bottom of the pool, Jason took Piper into the sky, Frank took Hazel into the sky (he was a bird), Leo took Calypso into Bunker Nine-

Ginny: How did they get out of here?

I will get them back soon. Will and Nico are probably in the Underworld or in Nico's cabin, I am pretty sure Travis and Katie are in a tree somewhere, Conner and Lou Ellen probably broke into some Chinese food place-

Luna: Why a Chinese food place?

I DON'T KNOW I AM JUST GUESSING! Ron and Hermione are probably-

Harry: WE DON'T CARE! WE DON'T LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT WHICH COUPLES ARE MAKING OUT WHERE!

Well, I don't like your FACE!

You know what? I'll bring them back.

*random couples appear*

Annabeth: PRIVACY!

Fine... *makes curtain appear*

Ok, this might take a while.

Ginny: Well, what should we do-

NOT RANDOM ENOUGH!

Ginny: WE ARE TRYING!

...

Ron: Wait, did you make her angry, Sis?

BRAINSTORM! *waves arms*

*Dumbledore and Snape appear*

Dumbledore: Where are we?

Snape: I am in the same room with Harry Potter. I don't like it.

HARRY! RON! HERMIONE! GET UP THERE!

Harry: But I am in Tine-Out!

Well, then get yourself OUT of Time-Out!

Hermione: What are we doing?

*smiles micheviously*

Hermione: Are we doing a write-song?

Sort of...

Hermione: What do you mean-

*ticking sound is heard*

Percy: OH MY GODS I LOVE THIS VIDEO!

Snape: What are you talking about?

Snape: ...

Snape: What is that mysterious ticking noise? *looks around*

Snape: Not over here, not over there...

Everyone: ...

Snape: It's kinda... catchy...

Snape: Snape, Snape, Severus Snape

Snape: Snape, Snape, Severus Snape

Dumbledore: * appears* Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape, Snape, Severus Snape

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape, Snape, Severus Snape

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: *appears* Ron
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: *appears* Hermione)
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley
(Hermione: Hermione)

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: Hermione)
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley
(Hermione: Hermione)

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: Hermione)
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: Hermione)
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley
(Hermione: Hermione)

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: Hermione)
(Harry: *appears* Harry Potter Harry Potter, Ooh!)
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley
(Hermione: Hermione)
(Harry: Harry Potter Harry Potter, Yeah!)

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: Hermione)
(Harry: Harry Potter Harry Potter, Ooh!)
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: Hermione)
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley
(Hermione: Hermione)
(Harry: Harry Potter Harry Potter, That's me!)

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry
Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry
Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry
Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry
Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry
Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry
Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry
Snape: Snape
Harry: Harry

Dumbledore: *appears naked* DUMBLEDORE!

Hermione: ...Hermione

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione: Hermione)
Harry: Harry Potter
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley
(Hermione: Hermione)
Harry: I'm Harry Potter

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione:Hermione)
Harry: I'm Harry Potter
Snape: Snape
Ron: Ron
(Hermione:Hermione)
Snape: Severus Snape
Ron: Ron Weasley
(Hermione:Hermione)
Harry: Harry Harry Potter

All: Singing a Song All Day Long at Hooooooooooooogwarts! Yeah!

Ron: I found the source of the ticking! Its a Pipe Bomb! *holds up Pipe Bomb*

Harry and Hermione: YAY!

Snape and Dumbledore: *exchange glances*

*BOOM*

Voldemort: *evil laugh* *taps wand rhythmically*
Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh Voldy- Voldy Voldy Voldemort!

Everyone: ...

Ginny: That was the worst performance I have ever seen in my life.

PIper: Can someone get me a spoon? I want to spoon my eyes out.

Jason: But I like your eyes!

NOT RANDOM ENOUGH!

Annabeth: *sighs* We know, Catsrawesome.

MAKE IT MORE RANDOM!

Everyone: ...

Leo: So, um, who won the riot thingy?

Piper. Everyone wanted to date people.

Piper: YES! I AM THE GREATEST!

Ok, so this person wanted to date...

You know what? Screw this.

*grabs PJO Characters**throws into magic portal*

AND YOU GUYS GO TOO! EVEN THOUGH NO ONE REQUESTED ANY OF YOU!

*grabs HP Characters**throws into magic portal*

YOUR WELCOME, READERS! HAVE FUN AT YOUR DATES!

Ok, everyone! ENTERTAIN THEM!

*crickets are heard*

Oh. I guess I didn't really think this out.

Well, here are a bunch of soggy Kool Aid cookies!

SPLAT!

Happy New Year everyone! HAVE A NICE LIFE IN 2015!

Catsrawesome