Chapter Thirty Eight

Wake me up inside

call my name and save me from the dark

save me from the nothing I've become

Evanscence - Bring Me To Life

Danny's wrist was hurting. The dull ache had settled in the base of his joint after he'd been forced to restrain Ramir Santo when he'd gone psycho in the viewing chamber. Santo was a self professed rageaholic, he'd been angry over his wife's death. Grief did crazy things to people and Danny had to admit watching the man smash through the glass viewing window had definitely been one of the scariest reactions he'd ever seen.

The wrist had never been right since he'd broken it that day at the bar. It weakened his ball throwing ability and ruined his shot at a career in baseball. Saying that, Danny thought as he glanced around him, second place at the Crime Lab wasn't too shabby at all.

He rotated his wrist again trying to ease the pain. It was likely he had jarred it, it wasn't a serious injury but enough to irk him with its persistence.

A glass of water appeared beside him, along with a silver packet of pain killers. Danny raised his gaze to see Mia lingering near the edge of the desk, her lips pursed together like she had something to say and she toyed nervously with the ring on her finger.

"I heard about Santos breaking the window in the viewing room." she stated before settling herself on the stool next to him.

Danny raised his eyebrows, popping two painkillers from the pocket and washing them down with the glass of water. He wondered how she knew always what he needed. He'd managed to hide the pain from Aiden and Mac, but Mia was freaky intuitive when it came to him.

"You ok?" she asked quietly.

"Yea, its just jarred." he told her, rotating it again to prove he could move it.

"Mac told me about Tanglewood. He had to because of the case." she uttered.

Danny turned in his seat to face her, his eyes studied her slumped posture and lowered gaze before he sighed. He used his finger to push his glasses further up his nose, before straddling his stool his hands resting on the leather seat.

"I never ran with them Mia. We lived in that kinda neighborhood but I was clear, I wanted nothing to do with them and I didn't." he said openly.

"You made the right choice." she said with a small smile.

Her palms were together between her knees. Mia bowed her head and let out along sigh.

"Look I'm sorry that I've been... out of it." Mia started after considering the right words. "The truth is... I don't know how to make things go back. I don't see how we can do the whole thing that we were doing around then."

For a moment Danny was completely perplexed by her awkward means of trying to say whatever was on her mind. He stumbled over the words before finally figuring it out.

"You're talking about us right? The sex thing?" he questioned, tilting his head to study her.

Mia nodded, finally meeting his gaze. He hated it when she was submissive, Patrick had done this to her, not just his death but with his betrayal. Their night of passion during the break up and before his death had left her conflicted and unsure.

"Mia, the sex... It was just sex, me and you, we're friends before anything else. I didn't expect anything more than that, and I don't expect anything from you." Danny hesitated. "I'm not your mom. I like you for who you are, not what you can give me."

"I needed to hear that." Mia uttered running her hands through her hair.

Danny watched her finding himself mesmerized by the action before snapping out of it.

I'm trying to be a good friend, he thought.

"We still here, no matter what shit your going through. We're all still here, whenever you decide you need to talk or do something. Nobody stopped caring about you. We all just gave you the space you needed." Danny told her, focusing on his knotted fingers as they rested between his thighs.

"I don't wanna do this by myself anymore. I want things to be better than they were." Mia said quietly.

"They will be. You just gotta give yourself time to heal. It's not like an illness, there's no getting better; when you're ready you'll deal with it. Losing someone you loved... It hurts like a bitch." he said his tone suddenly downcast.

She wondered who it was he had lost. A relative? A friend? A girlfriend?

"Hey, that movie you were talking about?" Mia mentioned, doodling patterns on the surface of he desk.

"I have to work tonight." Danny stated regretfully.

Mia was silent for a moment, her head bowed as she nodded, her cheeks flushed.

"Oh ok... You know I probably have to..." Mia flustered, something she rarely did.

She could feel the color staining in her cheeks and suddenly she was embarrassed and she didn't really understand why. She rose to her feet with a painful smile fixed upon her face.

"Try Sam. Flack's got Teagen tonight and I know she's been wanting to catch up with you." Danny offered the information forward, trying to downplay Mia's humiliation.

"Yea... I may do that." Mia said unconvincingly before slipping out of the door.

She wondered what happened to her old bad ass self, the one that wouldn't have cared if Danny was busy. She was so needlessly fragile at the moment it was painful. Sam, she knew, had plans with Hawkes tonight. She and Aiden were really acquaintances rather than friends and Don had his daughter.

Mia paused in the corridor taking a deep breath, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth. Her life was disintegrating around her. She used to be the party girl. She used to be the one turning down people not the other way around.

She thought about the parties and was surprised to find she missed them. Being part of the crowd was strangely refreshing, and having her usual entourage felt comforting to her for some reason. There was a charity benefit tonight, one supported by the New York Times. She hadn't made an appearance in so long and the idea was more appealing than sitting at home or curling up in her lonely empty bed.

Tonight was the night to get her old life back.

Another chapter before work. I hope you all doing ok! I have a week'sholiday coming up from work and I am so excited!

Thankies to my beta Sparky for beaing and leading me to that picture of Morgan from Crim minds! And thankies to all of you guys for reviewing!

Hist: Your wish is my command. I'm got more plans for this story. Mwhahaaha!

Sparkycsi: I have no idea why Flack and Bon Jovi seem to go together. I've got the whole relationship thing sorted out now, so you can email me if you want to know!

Nik: You maybe! I agree Flack seems to be theone that ould talk to people about things like that.

Sam: lol Flack has that way about him.

Blue: lol luring her with Mia treats? lol We'll have to see. Flack's got a complicated home life with Teagen.

Delko: I would have been in a serious predicament if it was me in Flack's postion. We'll have to see if that changes!