Authors note: So here is a long chapter for you because...well I'm leaving for a while frankly. This might very well be my last update for about a month. It may be more or it may be less. I'm not sure but certainly the next twoish weeks. I'm moving and when I do I won't have internet to be able to do anything. It's coolio, I usually come back. I'm to a rage quitter. Yay? Anyhow, here is the infamous flashback chapter of THE PAST TIME OF THE PAST TIME! It actually brings more questions than it does answers as most of the things that I write do. For that I apologize. Sooo, thank you to everyone that has review I wish more of you would. I miss ten reviews on a chapter, that was pretty awesome. Feel free to send me a message. I'll happily respond to it. So, as per usual read, review and enjoy.

Puppeteer

Roger wasn't accustomed to the boy that sat in front of him right now. Sure, he was used to Matt but he was used to Matt with Mello. This sad individual was no longer that person. His usual stoic, cool and blank mannerisms had been replaced with stark nothingness. His eyes had lost their gleam, he had discarded his goggles for wherever and he looked much paler than he was used to. It was frightening, it was worrisome but that wasn't Roger's problem. He knew why it had all happened but even going through all his books written about Mello and his different case studies he never would have believed that the blond would leave and discard the red head completely. Enter this young boy in front of him now.

In the end it all worked out in his favour. Matt no longer wanted to revisit the rooms and places that he had been with Mello. The look on his face was enough, if anything Roger tried to offer that unless Mello came back he would be number two. He turned his blank eyes on him and smiled sadly and it chilled Roger more than anything he had seen before. This child had his spirit broken. There was nothing left but pieces and that was the most frightening.

"Matt?" He questioned aloud watching the red head glance up from looking at his hands. They didn't hold anything and he wasn't jittering as usual if anything he appeared normal, dulled almost. "I have a request for you now that Mello is no longer within the institution. I had wanted to ask you since L passed a few days ago but the idea that you wouldn't leave Mello kept coming to mind." He slid the cup of tea forward towards the boy but he continued to stare down at his hands. "Now that Near is the new L he must leave Wammy house and begin life as L. With that comes quite a bit of responsibility and I was hoping that you would go with him. If you do go of course any of your demands will be met. It is, if anything else, a favour for me."

Matt shrugged lightly, "I don't require anything. I'll go." He slid off the chair dropping to the floor and turned his back away. Roger watched in slight confusion as the boy ran his fingers through his hair a few times as if that would change something. "Don't worry about it old man, I'll go back and be ready at the end of the day." His voice now held humor in it but Roger decided not to touch it. If Matt was agreeing to go then maybe just maybe he wouldn't have to study what was happening to him.

"Of course." He replied lightly watching the boy leave and shut the door behind himself.

~*xXx*~

"You're one mopy motherfucker did you know that? I mean really? Of all the people that you think you should be upset with leaving you and you decide that Mello is your best bet. I told you for years that the fucker was unstable and really, really annoying. Plus, it wasn't like you ran him out. Actually he left on his own and I say good riddance."

Matt frowned stuffing things into his suitcase. Roger had it brought to him as Mello had taken his old ones. "That's not why I'm upset." He replied aloud keeping his head down as to hide the tears forming. He couldn't fathom from whom. He knew himself and even on the inside he knew he was crying.

"Is it because you love him?" He offered blankly. "Which once again is a very, very bad decision."

Matt sighed, "There is nothing wrong with Mello. He just has so many emotions running through him that he thinks he should act on them when he shouldn't." He shook his head slowly before sitting on the suitcase remembering when he had done just this when Mello had left to go spend time with L. The blond had been so excited. How had things ended up like this? And now he was going to live with Mello's worse enemy.

"You're crossing the line by going to live with Near. I don't mind though so I think we should go. In the end maybe living with Near will get you over your depression. If you just throw yourself into working with him then maybe everything else will go away. As for Mello there's plenty wrong with him. He uses people. He whines. He's annoying. He whines. He gets angry for no reason. You've had to stop him from physically putting his hands on a boy two times smaller than him because he's jealous of him. I mean, really? Near's harmless to everyone."

Matt finished the zipper, "Physically." He mumbled. "And you have to admit Near isn't as innocent in the fight between Mello and him as much as he makes it seem. Near's more underhanded than anyone that I've ever met. I mean, he's never directed it at me…"

"Because you're third. You let Mello take all the heat for you instead of becoming number two you decided to slack off. That way Mello being number two hid you from Near's wrath and you got to keep Mello for that short period of time and jizz yourself over him. He's not worth it by the way. He kind of looks like a chick and when he gets manic it's some scary shit. His expressions make the younger kids cry."

"Mello is not scary." He was trying a defense for the other boy but he didn't know why.

"I know how you feel. I know what you think. I know everything about you, even the things that you don't know about yourself Matt. Do you really think you can sit here and tell me that you're not afraid of Mello? That his outbursts and violence have never made you think twice about your own feelings for him. That the only reason that you stayed by his side is because you love him or at least you think you love him."

Matt paused, "Do I?" He questioned hearing the door open behind him.

"Do you?"

"Matt, it's time." Roger's voice was nearly silent under all the questions now buzzing through his head. "Near is waiting in the car."

~*xXx*~

"Have you even tried to eat anything?" Matt asked from his chair across the room from the small playing boy. He had been sitting there for hours playing with his times, from time to time he would glance up at the sea of monitors but he never said anything. He seemed to be lost in his own world and Matt was just fine with that. He didn't have much to say to him anyway but as long as he stayed here he would certainly do the job that he was supposed to do.

When the boy didn't respond immediately Matt stood with an audible creak and headed towards the elevator only to return minutes later with a few bananas, apples and juice boxes for the small boy. He dropped to his knees right beside the boy.

Near glanced up and blinked. "What?"

Matt shoved a banana in his face, "Food. Eat it or else." He watched the other with a blank face. Sometimes he wondered what it must feel like to be Near but he never asked. That would certainly be too strange and all the while it was nothing but another trigger to make Mello go crazy.

Near didn't take the banana. Instead he turned his back slightly and continued to play with his toys. Two could play at that game as far as Matt was concerned. Anyway he looked at it he wasn't the only person that felt bad that Mello had left in the way that he did. Near hadn't been the same since they came here but he would have to get over it. Matt had to get over it too and if anything they could do it together. He reached forward snatching the action figures out of the boy's hands before turning and beginning to take down everything that Near had built in the last few hours.

The boy gaped for several seconds before frowning. "Stop." Matt continued gesturing towards the food and juice he had brought. "Matt, stop it." He continued going die by die until the boy gave in. He heard a sigh before the banana was picked up by Near. He slowly, methodically began to peal it. It didn't matter as long as he ate it like he was supposed to.

"You're not the only person hurting Near." Matt's voice was tight as he spoke. He hadn't said Mello's name aloud since he had left. The idea left him cold and he almost felt as if the name itself could choke him. "I know that Mello's gone but that doesn't mean that you have to discard your duties. L left this for you, for us and even if Mell's not here I am. I'm here."

Near stared at him for several seconds tilting his head to the side. "Do you really mean that? You're never fully here, are you Matt?"

The red head frowned, "What are you talking about?" He already knew but he didn't want to admit it aloud. He never wanted to talk about that night again but here alone with Near he knew it would have been brought up sooner or later. He rather it would have been later than sooner.

"Wouldn't you possessing a second personality mean that something inside of you is fractured?" He questioned aloud. The red head frowned, he never really thought about it like that. "Was it Mello?"

"No." He replied instantly. He couldn't remember how his other side had been created but he knew that it wasn't Mello that did it. "I don't know how it happened."

Near had eaten half the banana at this point and discarded the rest. "If you don't know how it happened then how do you know it's not Mello that did it?"

Matt forced a smile, "Because it happened before I met Mello." He replied seriously. "You know, emotional trauma and all that jazz." He winced at the flippancy of his own voice. "Not that it's a problem. Nothing is wrong with me."

Near shrugged, "He's your opposite." He replied matter of factly.

Matt nodded, "I know. Trust me." He stood completely missing the look that passed over the other boys face. "Drink your juice also." He dropped the toys back in front of the boy. "Be good Near."

~*xXx*~

Matt spun in the chair keeping his gaze resting squarely on the far wall. The several individuals in the room 'guarding' it weren't paying him much attention though they never really did. He was trusted by Near and that was enough for him. If anything they should at least be polite despite Near being their golden child. Who gave a fuck anyway?

He could hear the patter of Near's footfalls before he entered the room. Before the door even opened he reached up and pulled the rubber band out of his hair allowing his hair to fall over his face like Matt would. He had to do everything just like Matt. If he did it certainly made things easier and usually there would be a shitload of less questions. Needless to say he didn't need any more of those after spending years dodging Roger.

The door slid open and there was Near sluggishly moved his way inside but he didn't fool Matt. He was analyzing every little thing before he sat on the floor. His eyes rested on the red head for several seconds before he stopped in the middle of the floor. He cocked his head to the side forming conclusions. They were almost tangible. So much for attempting to keep the questions on the low. He never got what he wanted.

"What should I call you?" Near asked keeping his place at the distance as if he were dangerous. He almost laughed at that. If he had wanted to get Near he would have done it the last time they met. Lucky for him if was Mello that Near was after and not Matt. He would remove anyone else that would try to hurt Matt, Mello included.

"Matt." He replied simply crossing his legs in the chair. Despite that he took his hair out he had incidentally not bothered with keeping Matt as Matt. The goggles were discarded somewhere unknown. Instead of loose fitting jeans he was wearing a pair of slacks and a nice shirt that looked almost as if it were ironed this morning. "I'm Matt. He is Matt. We are Matt." He replied simply.

Near nodded slowly, "I see. Are you here for a reason in particular?"

The chilling smile cross the others lips, "Matt needed a break." He replied simply waving lightly towards Near. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Still as adorable as ever."

The boy straightened up slightly, "Is Matt still depressed about Mello?"

He shrugged, "A bit. Thank you for pretending like you cared to ease his pain." He flashed the boy a softer smile. "For the sake of Matt no less. To think Mello went on about how you can't care for anyone. That's not true, right?"

Near frowned, "I can."

He nodded, "Like Matt, the only person capable of holding Mello off. The only person that sacrificed himself for you." The boy didn't respond so he continued. "So you voiced a 'fear' of leaving Wammy house alone knowing that Roger would send someone with you to make you more comfortable. Because it couldn't be Roger himself because he has to care for the remaining students the only reasonable person to send with you would be Matt. Why? Because he's dejected over being left by Mello and wants to be taken away from that place." He chuckled. "You played the game and you played to win."

An expression passed over Near's face before disappearing quickly. "If you can't play to win then you shouldn't play at all."

Matt pushed himself up, "I couldn't have said it better. Too bad for you I play for keeps. If you want Matt you have to go through me but I don't have anything against you personally so do whatever you think is right." He shrugged slightly. "You have to remember Mello is never fully out of the picture. Matt will never fully let him go."

~*xXx*~

Matt rolled over, red hair brushed something else. He jerked back automatically, it wouldn't have been strange had he been at Wammy house. Mello was known to crawl into bed with him sometimes and vice versa but he didn't remember Mello even being around. With further examination he remembered that Mello had discarded him. He had left him and now he was working with Near, well with wasn't the right phrasing. He was working for Near without pay. He just spent endless hours watching him, and taking care of him.

He sat up feeling around for his goggles. He couldn't remember anything. He remembered going to bed. In his own bed but this wasn't his bed. It was softer, to fit the comfort of someone else. It was wider. He frowned easing the blankets back to find the smaller paler boy curled into a small ball and frowned.

"What did you do?" Matt spoke frantically in his head. "What?"

The response came lightly, " Nothing. I didn't do anything. You did it. Not me."

He nearly fainted at the words. "But I don't remember doing anything. I didn't do anything. You're lying!"

"You can call me a liar. If you like I'll call myself a liar but it doesn't make me any less true. You are me. I am you. We are one. What I do, you do. What you do, I do or so I've come to know."

Near shifted sitting up himself before glancing at the red head beside him. His face was as blank as usual but it was almost as if he were waiting for something. "Matt?"

The red head winced, "Yeah?" He felt awkward. He felt out of place and mostly he felt confused. He had never had to be in this kind of situation. He didn't even remember anything that could have happened last night.

"You look scared." His voice wavered before he looked away. "Would you like to know?"

"No!" The red head struggled to keep himself from screaming. "No, Near. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Again Near tilted his head. "Why? All you did was share my bed." A flicker of a smirk appeared. "I was afraid of the storm and you offered to sleep with me."

He blinked several times before sighing gently. "Of course. Of course I did, I mean that's what I'm supposed to do, right?" He laughed quietly to himself. His other side was a sick bastard. This wasn't funny.

"What did you believe happened?" He questioned as the red head shrugged pulling him into a hug. "Why?"

Matt sighed, "I'm just happy to see you Near." He slid off the bed finding a discarded dress shirt and slipping it back on. "Make sure you eat before I get back."

"Of course."

He nodded sliding out the door without another word.

Near frowned instantly. "Is it okay to lie to make you feel better?" He questioned aloud to himself. "I'll lie only for a while Matt." He smirked. "I promise."

~*xXx*~

"Mello?" Near's voice was leveled as he glanced up from his dice towers to look at the red head at the door. "You're leaving me for Mello?" He asked aloud watching the red head shrug slightly at the idea. "I see."

He frowned, "We've been here for years Near, I'm sure you can do okay on your own." He attempted quietly. "I'll visit when I can."

The white haired boy shrugged. "It's fine Matt. You may leave, I can live alone fine now." He heard the sound of doors closing before rolling a die in between his fingers. He frowned to himself shooting the die out of his finger and onto the towering castle he had created with them. It toppled in a cascading motion leaving none standing. "Goodbye Matt."

~*xXx*~

Mello hadn't even arrived early so the fact that Matt was later than later was just plain bullshit. He wasn't quite sure what he expected of the red head but it certainly wasn't to be this late. He leaned against the door not wanting to go in without the other. Get an apartment together he said. It would be nice to live together again he said and then the asshole doesn't show up until he feels like it.

He frowned when he saw elevator doors open and the red head come strolling out. He tried to keep the excitement out of his face by looking away. "You're late. Where the fuck were you?"

Matt shrugged, "Talking to a friend." He replied as Mello stuck the key in the door.

The blond shook his head, "A friend, yeah right."