By the morning of the next day, I had recovered to the extent of being able to talk without bursting into tears, and being able to function without shivering madly. I had slept some, which definitely seemed to help. I finally walked out of the room that I had isolated myself in, similar to how I isolated myself from my family in the outside world. I didn't want to return to old habits, so I forced myself to leave, and go out to see Kaguya. She saw me in a hallway as I slowly walked towards a door to the outside.
"Jacob, there you are!" She ran over and hugged me. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine…" I was hoping that someone would eventually be able to see through that lie I threw about so many times, as a child, and all throughout the troubled parts of my life. I wanted someone to see that I wasn't okay, that I needed help, but I didn't want to worry them, I was afraid, as I always was.
"I haven't seen you since yesterday. Where did you go?"
"I was just in there." I pointed to the room I had stayed and written my ideas in.
"So… That was you...?"
"What was me?"
"Yesterday, I was hearing crying… I thought it was just one of Eirin's patients with a broken bone or something, and in pain… What happened?"
"I was just realizing what all I had put in jeopardy… The outside world, Gensokyo, and for that matter, the Moon even… It's hard to stay sane knowing that I'm the reason that everything could fall apart… I still was just terrified of that thought…"
"Jacob, let's go talk to Eirin, I've heard you say you're fine before, but you weren't. You don't need to try to hide it if something's wrong, we're here for you."
"Kaguya… You're the only one who has ever been able to see through that… I just don't want to cause any more trouble than I have already…"
"Jacob, if you're helping us to stop it, you've already done more than make up for any trouble you've caused. Come on, let's get you to the clinic." I went with her, and Eirin eventually met us.
"Oh, hello." She said.
"Eirin, do you have anything to help Jacob, any antidepressants or something?"
"Of course, just give me a moment." She came back a short time later, and handed me a small bottle of medicine and a glass of water.
"Thanks." I spoke up, and drank the medicine, then the water.
"Also, Jacob, do you want to get your haircut and everything now?" Kaguya asked.
"Sure, if you want to." She led me into the room with the hospital beds again, and I sat on one. The process began, and after some time, Eirin and Kaguya, both seemed satisfied with their work. I looked at a window, and saw my reflection. Surprisingly, it was night outside. "Oh dear, it looks like I've grown quite a bit of stubble… As a child I'd have celebrated that fact… Now I don't really care too much about it. If you want, this is fine, I could shave it myself or something."
"I think I can try to do this." Kaguya insisted.
"Okay then." They took a bit less time with shaving off my stubble. Surprisingly, I didn't have any unpleasant cuts on my face or neck.
"Alright. Done. Like it?" I looked in the window again.
"Well, Kaguya, for the first time in weeks I look presentable."
"Why thank you." I smiled at her, hurting again on the inside, knowing my time with her was possibly limited. I looked out the window again. It was a full Moon. It had been a while since I had seen one, and much longer since I had through a telescope.
"So, Kaguya, you wanted to show me a telescope?"
"Oh, right." I was genuinely curious as to what was so good about it, because she said I would be pleasantly surprised. She led me to another room which I also had not been familiar with, and she opened a window, and a telescope, not too different from the one I had owned. The body of the telescope was metal, and it obviously bore no brand marking. It was well polished, and the tripod was also very clean and new looking. The telescope was already in position to view the Moon. "Want to take a look through it?" Kaguya offered.
"Okay, do you not want me to look around, or is it okay if I look around?"
"I don't mind if you look around. I can get it focused on the Moon again pretty easily."
"Okay." I walked over, and looked through the telescope. The view I saw wasn't like that I saw through the telescope at my own home. I was able to see buildings, and no small amount of them. "Is that the lunar capital?" I asked, already betting my guess was right.
"Indeed it is." Then I noticed something else, behind the Moon, I was able to see something even more distant.
"Am I seeing things?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I think I can see a nebula behind the Moon, some distance away…"
"You're probably right then. This telescope isn't affected by the atmosphere. You can see just as well as if you were in open space."
"Well that's impressive. So you could probably use this in the day even."
"Yes, it can be used in the day as well, but it may be more difficult to initially find something if you had a specific target in mind."
"Out of curiosity, what all can this pick up? I mean, I've always been curious about what a pulsar looks like, but you can't really see those with normal telescopes, you usually need a radio telescope."
"Oh, if you'd like to go outside, I could show you, I don't know if we can see any in the range of the window."
"Oh, okay."
"Not to mention, on the night of a full Moon, we always hold a Moon festival, and it usually gets quite noisy. I think it might be good to take a break from that once."
"Yeah, I'd probably agree. I usually get very awkward when I'm around large groups of people."
"You didn't seem too awkward when you were fighting that thing, when we were all at the Moriya Shrine."
"Kaguya, let's not talk about that monster, okay…?" Once again, my voice displayed an air of uncertainty, and depression.
"Oh, okay…" It still caused me pain knowing that I was too afraid to let her know about what I was planning, but instead of worry, I just wanted to spend as much quality time with her as I possibly could.
"Sorry, it's just… This whole thing's really messing with me, you can talk about it if you really want to, but, let's avoid it if possible, okay?"
"Okay. So, shall we go outside?"
"Sure. Want me to get the telescope?"
"Okay." She replied as she prepared to leave. I lifted the telescope up. I was surprised, I expected it to be incredibly heavy, because of some hidden instrument, but it turned out to be even lighter than the one at my home, either that, or I'd simply grown stronger since the last time I picked up mine, which was equally possible. Kaguya took a lantern, and we went out into the edge of the clearing around Eientei. I set the telescope up, and then Kaguya took over. It took her only a few moments to find a suitable pulsar. "Okay, here's one."
"That fast?"
"I've used this telescope quite a bit."
"Heck, I used to have more difficulty just finding the Moon, and I knew exactly where it was too…"
"Well, I wouldn't blame you with that telescope." I felt like she was just trying to make up an excuse for my ineptitude. I shook my head with a bit of a smile.
"Kaguya, don't be afraid to accept the fact that you're better than me with a telescope."
"Oh... Well... Want to take a look?"
"Sure." I accepted her offer. She stepped to the side, and I looked through the telescope. Perfectly centered, there was a blinking light, flashing several times a second. "Wow… I've only seen images of pulsars on a computer… I've never expected to actually see one like this…"
"They're invisible to normal telescopes, are they not?"
"They are, for the most part at least. So, this telescope can basically cancel out the effects of the atmosphere on light, and pick up radio waves?"
"It is quite impressive."
"So, can this find galaxies too?"
"Yes, but it's kind of hard to get it set up to do that. The focus is pretty sensitive, and it usually takes a long time to get it right."
"Oh, I see. It's quite amazing though. This is the same size as the telescope I had, and it's doing something that only telescopes many times larger than it are capable of doing, and even then, this one still is more effective."
"One thing that cancels out the sometimes snobby nature of lunarians are their mastery of some types of technology."
"I would agree with that, but I've not really been on the Moon at all."
"I'm still not in a hurry to go back though, honestly."
"Don't worry, I'm not asking you to." Even when I was not looking through the telescope, I could still tell it was a beautiful night. The sky was clear, and made way for a wonderful view. I lay down on my back, like I sometimes did in my back yard. I took a deep breath, and started trying to bring back my optimistic thoughts. I was there with Kaguya, I was in Gensokyo. I was going to die, sure, it was a very formidable possibility, but I was going to make the most out of the time I had. Kaguya came over to my side, and joined me. "Even though the telescope is pretty amazing, I find this view better."
"Why's that?"
"Because I get to share it with you." A time passed, and I nearly drifted off to sleep again. Then we heard people arriving for the festival. I sat up, and shook my head to wake myself up the rest of the way. "So, you're sure you don't want to go over to take part in the festival?"
"I've been there enough times to take a break to spend time with you."
"Thanks Kaguya." Suddenly, I heard a rustling sound in the foliage nearby. "Oh for crying out loud…" I stood up, and readied my blades again, but not to their fullest extent. Expecting the monster to try to ruin the wonderful evening I was having, I was relieved when it wasn't. It was a girl I hadn't met before, and confusingly, she had ears like that of a rabbit. I let myself fall back. I landed harder than I had hoped.
"Oh, Reisen, are you here for the festival?" Kaguya asked
"As always." The newcomer replied.
"Hello Reisen." I spoke up, happy to have finally met her. "My name is Jacob." I propped myself up and extended my hand for a handshake. I had to lean forward to do so, as I was still on the ground, and She looked at me oddly. I was starting to regret my decision of letting myself fall backwards so carelessly, as I had knocked the wind out of myself upon landing.
"Reisen, what's wrong?" Kaguya asked."
"Oh. Nothing, it's just..."
"Why are you so shy near Jacob?"
"Do you trust him Kaguya?"
"I wouldn't be refraining from participating in the festival, just to spend time with some man I don't trust." Kaguya's voice alone showed that she was also confused by Reisen's anxiousness towards me.
"I'm sorry, I just haven't seen you before." She then accepted the handshake.
"Oh, I should ask. Is anyone else going to be coming through this general area? That way I'll know so I don't constantly jump up in combat mode and look like an idiot." I inquired, hoping not to make a fool of myself again if someone were to pass through.
"Not that I know of. Reisen informed me, dismissing some of my worry.
"Okay, thanks…" I coughed a bit, still trying to recover. Reisen walked past and entered Eientei. "See? I told you I act awkward with people around, even the others arriving are starting to affect me."
"No, you're just being a little bit silly, you're not too awkward." Kaguya tried to defend me from my own criticism.
"Call it what you may, but I just act weird around people. I'm trying to think of an example…"
"Don't worry, you're still behaving perfectly fine."
"Yeah, I can get that far, but still make people back away from usually embarrassing myself. Well, I at least should have been embarrassed. It takes a lot to do that for me."
"Well, that means you don't take yourself too seriously, that's good, right?"
"Yeah, if you like me acting silly, that's a good thing."
"Well... I love you just the way you are." She said as she took my hand with hers.
"I've always wanted to hear that from someone. It means a lot to me coming from you." The two of us lay down again, just looking into the sky. I hoped that I somehow would be able to defeat the creature without using the plan of rendering myself in a permanent coma. Even with the Hourai Elixir, it wouldn't so much attack my body, as it would destroy my consciousness. That being known, I didn't know how it would be possible to survive it. "I didn't think it would ever be true at the time I arrived, but coming to Gensokyo is probably the best thing that I've ever done for myself."
"I'm happy to hear that. You coming here has done a lot for everyone else too."
"That's a good thing. Originally, I didn't have any idea I was going to be coming here to Gensokyo. In fact, the first day I arrived, I wanted to go home to the point where I cried myself to sleep. Now I find myself not wanting to go back. It's just better here, I know a lot more people here. For once, I have more friends than I do enemies, and people care about me here, and I care about them." I closed my eyes, trying to get a bit of rest. "This whole thing may have been caused by me, but I'll be dead before I let that monster win..."
"Don't worry, that won't happen. Once that thing's gone, we can just go about our lives like normal, and I'm sure you'll be under a lot less stress than you are now."
"At the moment, I'm not under too much stress, and that's probably because you're here with me." I kept trying to convince myself that everything was going to be alright. I started to think ahead, about what would become of me. I wondered if Kaguya and I would be able to marry, seeing as I couldn't marry a normal person, as I would outlive them, but I still didn't want to get my hopes up too high, because there was still the chance that I wouldn't survive. "So, what was it like here, before I showed up, before that thing became a problem?"
"It was like you could probably guess. It was very peaceful, nobody ever had to worry about the world ending. Gensokyo has always been a good place to be. I think that the conflict is nearing its, end, since you've been growing stronger, and have been better able to fight the monster every time you've encountered it. It may have said it draws power from you, but I know you'll be able to overcome it. You've already come this far after all. You found out what the monster was, you have been able to defend us from it, and you're probably even stronger than it is now."
"That's what I'm hoping. If I can't stop it, then I don't know what's going to happen, to me, or to the rest of Gensokyo, to the outside world. It's unfortunate that there's so much at stake. This isn't a game, there are no restarts, and I've got one chance to stop it. Normally I can perform well under pressure, but this is hard to even comprehend… I wonder how my family's responding to me not being there, but then again, I was supposed to be in a different country anyway."
"You did have to leave them on pretty short notice, didn't you?"
"Very much so. If only they knew what I still have to do. I still have a ways to go, and I don't think it's quite over yet. I'm definitely closer than ever before when it comes to defeating the monster."
"I know, and I'll be with you the whole time if there's any way I can help." Suddenly, there was another rustling in the foliage. I rolled my eyes, stood up, and just glared into the forest slightly.
"Hey, if there's anyone else coming through this way, tell them to try to go around okay, you're getting me on edge…" I didn't receive a response. I tilted my head.
"What is it?"
"I don't know, I don't see anything. The lantern's not enough." I emitted an aura again to light up the surroundings. I froze when I found myself standing only feet away from a werewolf. She seemed humanoid, and was wearing clothing. I could only identify her as a werewolf due to her blood-red eyes, and her claws of the same color. "Kaguya! Run!" I hurried to stand in front of her. I generated my blades as shed, but didn't even get a chance to attack. I charged back, and put all of the force I could in a desperate attempt to keep her back. Kaguya quickly ran back inside, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I needed to use a wooden stake or something, or if that was only for stereotypical vampires. I shoved her away for a few seconds, and remembered that she was still a person, just out of their right mind. I wasn't just about to kill an innocent person. "Whoa! Calm down! Calm down!"
"I know what you're trying to do! I can't let you succeed!" She spoke with a tone that conveyed some amount of worry and fear.
"What are you talking about?! I have to stop that monster from destroying Gensokyo! Getting mutilated is not how I'll go about doing that! I'm trying to help you and everyone else." Then she charged again, that time, clawing at my neck. I managed to dodge the attack. With little time to react to the next claw coming at me, I used a force wave to get some breathing room.
"This is pointless. You must be stopped!" She yelled. Then she changed into a form more reminiscent of an actual wolf. lunged at me again. Her jaw was wide open, and I leaned to the side to avoid getting my head bitten off. I wasn't able to fully dodge, but just before she bit down on my shoulder, I focused my energy in it, reinforcing it in a way similar to how I managed to block Yoshika when she tried to bite me. She gave up on biting my arm off after a few moments of pointless gnawing. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. I couldn't use magic blades, those were lethal, I couldn't use explosive shots, those were lethal, I couldn't just punch her wolf form, that wouldn't do anything, and I'd literally get my face clawed off. I considered using standard ranged attacks as well, but I was too close, and there was a chance that they wouldn't knock her out quickly enough. I could only think of one thing to try. I let her charge again, reinforcing my skin to prevent injury. I decided to try to test out my ability to manipulate minds. I practically hugged the her, and time slowed down as I established a link to her mind. I read through her memory to find out why she was attacking. Somehow, she believed I was attempting to destroy Gensokyo, and the structure of that thought was forged, which meant something alarming. She had been hypnotized, manipulated to kill me, or try her best at least. I was in a position to end the pointless struggle, so I sent an immense amount of energy through her nervous system, overloading it, while also deleting her short term memory, including the effects of her mind's previous manipulation. Simultaneously, a considerable amount of the energy reflected back to me. Time resumed, and a sharp pain stung at my head. She collapsed, and I yelled in pain as I fell similarly. I charged my own energy, and sent it towards my head. Like before, it was able to alleviate the pain. I noticed the attacker's form revert to normal.
"I'm sorry about that..." I whispered, feeling bad for her. She didn't really know what she was doing.
"Jacob!" Kaguya yelled from behind me. I was still on my knees, holding my head.
"I'm okay!" I called back. I removed my hands, stood up, and turned back, walking towards Kaguya. Eirin came outside as well, joined by Reisen. The two of them carried her into Eientei, I assumed to treat her of injuries. Kaguya hugged me.
"What happened? Neither of you seemed hurt."
"Yeah, I caused her to suffer a blackout. She reflected a lot of the power I used, and that's why I yelled. It hurt quite a bit."
"I would guess, if it backfired. I'm glad you're okay."
"I'm even more glad that you're okay." I thought briefly back to my plan to defeat the monster. I needed to destroy my consciousness, and what I had done was practically force the werewolf into a temporary coma. Since the attack reflected back upon me, I realized that if I performed the attack in large enough scale, I could have put myself, and the target, in the permanent coma that was necessary to delete the memories the monster derived its power from. Kaguya and I went back inside. I went back to the hospital room, and once again went to sleep in the bed that I had slept in repeatedly before.