With Bungi now defeated at the hands of Don Patch, we switch our focus to the Ice Castle, where Jelly Jiggler, Be-bebe and Torpedo Girl must fight the evil and mysterious Age of Aquarius! Also, this battle happened to be taking place at the same time as Don Patch Vs. Bungi, just so you know for future importance...
"LAST ONE IN IS A ROTTEN PRIME MINISTER...OF CALIFORNIA!" Jelly Jiggler exclaimed as he ran into the giant ice tower. However, he ended up slipping and crashed headfirst into a wall. Grunting at his teammate's idiocy, Be-bebe cautiously entered the area, using his leg hairs as supports to keep himself from falling.
Torpedo Girl just flew straight in, crashing into Jelly Jiggler and causing the poor guy even more pain. Looking around, Be-bebe saw that the place was indeed like a castle; two curved sets of stairways laid in front of them, going upwards to the higher floors. Several unlit torches were pressed up against the walls.
"WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ESTATE...OF CALIFORNIA!"
Suddenly, three figures leaped from a high balcony and landed right in front of Be-bebe, Torpedo Girl, and Jelly Jiggler. The figure in front was obviously Age of Aquarius, but the other two figures were a strange black wraith with a mask, and the other was a large oversized rodent of sorts. Age of Aquarius himself still looked the same as he did in his last appearance; he had long white hair and wore a strange Ying-Yang mask over his face.
"Say hello to my two henchmen," Age of Aquarius announced, "No-Face(1) and my neighbor Totoro(2)!"
"HELLOOOOOOOOO, HENCHMEN!" Jelly Jiggler said with a dopey look on his face.
Be-bebe lit a cigarette and remarked, "So...you're Age of Aquarius, huh? Do you really think you can win against 'Main Characters'?"
Surprisingly, Age of Aquarius shook his head. "Actually...no, I don't. I pretty much believe I'm most likely destined to die here."
"That's...depressing."
"Indeed it is. Indeed it is." Age of Aquarius made a pose and pressed his palm against his mask. "However...what do YOU believe?"
"I believe...that you're an idiot." Jelly Jiggler said, smirking with an evil look in his eyes.
"YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I BELIEVE? I BELIEVE JC PENNY'S WILL HAVE A SALE ON PANTS THIS THURSDAY!" Be-bebe snapped, and he unleashed several powerful leg hairs, and had them fly straight at Age of Aquarius. However, just as the leg hairs were about to hit, Age of Aquarius just reached out, and grabbed all of them at once.
"THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!(3)" he snapped.
"...What?!"
Age of Aquarius clenched tightly, and the leg hairs shattered to pieces in his hands. Blood burst out of Be-bebe's mouth and he fell on one of his knees. "You...you...YOU DESTROYED MY LEG HAIRS! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE, THOUGH! THEY'RE AS STRONG AS TITANIUM!"
"Sorry, I forgot to finish my sentence earlier..." Age of Aquarius replied coolly, "I believe...we are ALL destined to die here."
"UH...I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN YOU SAID YOU BELIEVED ONLY YOU WOULD DIE!" Jelly Jiggler exclaimed.
"ENOUGH OF THIS IDIOCY! DIE!" Torpedo Girl charged at the masked opponent, but she was knocked back when Totoro jumped in the way and she bounced harmlessly off his belly. Be-bebe quickly caught the falling female torpedo and said, "Damn! Not even this freakish torpedo lady can tear these guys apart!"
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME FREAKISH JUST BECAUSE...I'M A TORPEDO!" Torpedo Lady snapped, slapping Be-bebe repeatably across the face.
No-Face just stood in one spot, breathing heavily...WHY DID I WRITE THAT?
'This...this isn't good!' Jelly Jiggler thought, 'These guys are SCARY! I gotta do something!'
Then, a brave and outrageous plan began to be formed within the jelly man's mind...
Inside Jelly Jiggler's mind..
Chibi Jelly #54 quickly ran through the sliding doors and cried, "BOSS...THE RESULTS ARE IN!"
Inside the building were several more Chibi Jellys working in food store aisles, setting up cans and boxes, with a man with the 'NU' symbol for a head overseeing their progress. This man is named NUmaka, and he is the head manager of 'NU-Mart'.
"Oh? The results of the popularity poll held in Okinawa, Japan?" NUmaka asked, rubbing his fuzzy chin, "Tell me, my dear employee...what place did lychee-flavored gelatin come in?"
Chibi Jelly #54 sighed and shook his head sadly. "It came in 7th out of 10."
"WHAT?! THEN...WHAT PLACE DID TOFU COME IN?" NUmaka cried in horror.
"It...came in 3rd place, behind ramen noodles and natto(4)..." Chibi Jelly #54 replied, glancing at the sheet of paper in his hands.
NUmaka fell to his knees, threw his hands up and looked to the skies above as he wailed, "WHY? WHY? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH LYCHEE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH LYCHEE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH LYCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!"
Trying to console his weeping boss, Chibi Jelly #54 said, "If it makes you feel any better, boss...I'll let you play Earthbound for a while on my SNES(5)."
That immediately cheered NUmaka up considerably.
"HEY...I WANNA PLAY TOO!" cried one of the other Chibi Jelly.
"YEAH! US TOO!"
"WE WANNA PLAY EARTHBOUND TOO!!"
"YEAHHH!!"
Soon, a huge fist fight started over who got to play Earthbound first...
Meanwhile...
Noticing that Jelly Jiggler was standing around and not doing anything, Be-bebe ran over and started shaking him violently.
"JELLY JIGGLER! JELLY JIGGLER! C'MON, JELLY JIGGLER! YOU GOT DO SOMETHING! WE'LL ALL DIE IF WE DON'T FIGHT BACK! DO YOU HEAR ME, JELLY JIGGLERRRRRRRRRRR?!"
Unfortunately, Jelly Jiggler just started drooling with a goofy grin on his face, so Be-bebe threw him into the wall.
"Jeez...that guy gets more and more useless with every chapter..."
Chuckling from behind his mask, Age of Aquarius said, "Listen, my dear opponent, I believe in fairness and equality in battle, so, as you have revealed your Super Fist abilities to me, I shall reveal mine to you...but I can't."
"HUUUUUUUUH?!"
"You see," Age of Aquarius continued, "I was born with a legendary Ancient Super Fist style that had been locked away at the end of the great Super Fist War(6) long, long ago. My Super Fist is so powerful, it could easily wipe out everything in a 400-mile radius, so I keep my powers locked away by wearing this mask. Originally, when I had no control over my powers, I would end up destroying everything in my path. I was a walking time bomb; I was afraid of my own power, but I had no way to control it. Then, after accidentally obliterating an entire city, I met HIM...the man who saved my life...and taught me how to unlock the true 100 percent capacity of my Super Fist style..."
"...Who was this man?" Be-bebe asked.
Age of Aquarius was silent for a moment, looking off to the distance. Then, he turned back to Be-bebe and replied, "You would know him. His name was...Ba-bababa Ba-baba."
Be-bebe let out a loud gasp in surprise. Torpedo Girl gasped as well, although she had no idea why.
'No way...Ba-baba trained this punk? Dammit...I knew the fact he never appeared in the actual series meant he was up to no good!' Be-bebe thought, beads of nervous sweat rolling down the side of his face.
Age of Aquarius laughed again at the look on Be-bebe's face and said, "You should feel lucky, though; I don't plan on using my Super Fist style for this fight. I also happen to be a master martial artist, as you saw when I easily snatched those pitiful leg hairs of yours. Also...just to see you squirm even more, I'll tell you one more thing. Riaru, that muscular guy with the mullet and an anger problem...he's even MORE dangerous than me."
As Age of Aquarius had expected, Be-bebe and Torpedo Girl looked even more shocked than a moment ago; however, he didn't expect to see Jelly Jiggler glance up from his book (he was just...chilling!) and scoff like it was no big deal.
"You see, I definitely have more destructive power," Age of Aquarius explained, "But...his Super Fist has the ability to negate any attack, no matter how absurd or how insane, and turn even the strongest opponent into nothing but a living corpse about to be torn apart limb from limb. If we fought, it would only take Riaru about a minute to come out as the victor."
Jelly Jiggler stuck his tongue out at the thought. "Eww...that's gross."
Torpedo Girl gasped and exclaimed, "WAIT! MY DARLING SOFTON IS ONE OF THE PEOPLE FIGHTING THAT RIARU PUNK RIGHT NOW!"
"Indeed." Suddenly, a barrier of black ice formed over the entranceway, trapping them!
"That is 'Black Ice'. It cannot be destroyed by anything. If you three can somehow beat us...then you may leave." Age of Aquarius said, feeling rather proud of himself.
"HMPH! THIS SHOULDN'T BE SO HARD!" Be-bebe told his two teammates, "We have to fight a weird black puppet, an oversized rat, and an ambiguous overly-polite weirdo that won't even use his own Super Fist style! We can win this easy!"
Age of Aquarius smirked from behind his mask. "You think so, huh? No-Face...time to absorb them!"
Nodding, the creature known as No-Face slithered over to a small panel on the wall, and opened it. After pulling a lever, a hole in the ground opened up and a platform with a cage rose up. Inside the cage were two familiar figures...Rice and Dengakuman!
"Now, No-Face," Age of Aquarius ordered, "...ABSORB THEM!"
Without a word, No-Face's entire body spread out into a large moving black mass that soon overlapped Rice and Dengakuman, who were screaming for help.
Be-bebe and Torpedo Girl just stared as they watched No-Face begin to take on a new form right before their very eyes.
Putting on his 3-D glasses and taking out a bowl of popcorn, Jelly Jiggler thought, 'Wow, this is getting pretty good!'
THE REFERENCE INDEX:
(1) - It's No-Face from 'Spirited Away', an awesome anime movie by Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki. And, he will actually do more in this fic then just stand around and act creepy!
(2) - The titular character from 'My Neighbor Totoro', another great anime movie by Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki.
(3) - Another reference to the song "Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In", which Age of Aquarius was named after.
(4) - Not the results of an actual poll.
(5) - A popular and somewhat strange RPG series known as 'MOTHER' in Japan, but only one game in the three-game series was released in the US.
(6) This 'Super Fist War' is the same one Melon spoke about in Chapter 4.