Crimson Fate (R-M)
Chapter 38- Heart Attack (Trey Songz)
(Plz excuse editing errors-and I apologize for the delay)
Bonnie woke up the following morning, alone. Damon had given her the space she wanted. He didn't want to startle her by waking up holding her. So, he got up and made her breakfast around six am, knowing she needed to eat. She barely had any energy, and the exhaustion was clear sign to him, that she'd been over worked, under-rested, and suffering from addictive habits.
He knew, her brother was an alcoholic, and her father dealt with drug abuse. He himself dealt with the rush of chemical enhancements, but never quite at the level the Bennett's had dealt with. Damon's rush was guns, and boxing, more than anything. Until he fell in love with her. She became the need for him.
As she got out from bed, she got herself ready. Slowly. She could smell food cooking, but she avoided the thoughts of food. She needed what she needed, and until she had it, she'd probably feel anxious and exhausted. She needed to have her burst of energy back.
When she cleaned her face, and brushed her teeth, she noticed a difference in herself, but nothing she could point out. She just felt unrecognizable, as she searched the mirror to find herself. And when the stomach acid rose from her belly up her throat, she was reminded how much she didn't feel herself everyday, throwing up.
But from the outside looking in, her cheeks were slightly tightened, while the color around her eyes was darkened underneath. She grabbed her concealer, and patted it around her eyes, blending it into her skin. Then she grabbed a mineral makeup, and an application brush and applied it throughout her face. She'd never had to put much make up on. She was a lipgloss or chapstick kind of girl who seldom added mascara, and on special occasion as lipstick. She applied a pink shaded gloss and her sunglasses. No eyeliner, because, her yes were still too getting dressed she headed out of the room with her things. Her legs carried her cautiously toward the front door with sunglasses resting over her eyes still. Walking past the kitchen, Damon stopped her.
"Hey." He knew she hated it.
"Hey. I was just heading out."
"I'm making you breakfast." Which meant she wasn't leaving, on her terms.
"You know I don't eat bacon."
"It's for me. I also made eggs and toast. Thought we could eat together."
"Damon, I think this is nice, but I can't." He walked towards her, with a plate, but sat it down on the table, before making his way to her. Then he walked to her, and pulled her glasses off. "Don't do that-"
"Sit down." He grabbed her bag, and pulled out her chair. She hesitated before walking to the table and sitting down. He poured her a glass of orange juice, and himself, and sat across from her watching her eat.
"I don't eat eggs, either... it's a product of meat."
"Baby girl, just eat the got damn toast. Okay?" Once she stopped retorting, he sat quietly eating and watching her eat slowly, and barely. But she drank the orange juice quickly, and he poured her another glass. Again, she drank it, and didn't say much nor look at him. "I'm taking you to school, and picking you up."
"No."
"I'm sorry, but I am."
"No. Don't start doing that again. Taking my freedom and controlling things."
"Controlling? I'm not controlling you. I'm watching you."
"For what? I'm not your responsibility."
"It's clear, your momma is busy planning a wedding, and your brother has his own shit. But, I'm going to take care of you. You need my help."
"I don't need you, Damon. That's where you're mistaken. I made the mistake of needing you. But you showed me how wrong I was. I stopped needing you two months ago. And frankly, I should've never started leaning on you in the first place. It was a mistake. Like us. A big mistake."
"I got it. Big bad, Bonnie. I can do everything by myself. I don't need anyone. I get it. This is you. Always has been you. But, right now, you're body is exhausted. You've let yourself rely on fuckin drugs to keep going. To ignore life, and deal with it, minimally. Blocking every fucking thing out. Working yourself to the bone, and not sleeping, because god forbid you rest. I hear you loud and clear, and I see it. And for the record, I know you're capable of being happy. Living life without me. These facts, are sad but true. But right now, I cannot, and will not let you, kill yourself just to run away from this neighborhood. I'm on you like a hawk. We may not be…" he swallowed hard, "together anymore. But, your safety is still my priority. Has been since your pops died. Has been most of your life. I'm taking you to and from school. You're gonna stay here for a few days. You can go back home after about a week."
"What do I tell my momma? She's not just signing over to staying gone a week."
"Figure it out. Or we can go to her together and tell her, EVERYTHING!"
Bonnie couldn't even speak back. She knew he'd not take no for an answer. Her best fight against him, was to just go along with it, until she could get away. "Do I have a got damn choice?" She asked sarcastically.
"Nah."
"Fine." She turned her back to him. "I'm ready now." She walked towards the front door and opened it, heading out. He knew he had his hands full with her. He walked out behind her and grabbed his hoodie following her to his car.
"Oh, and call your doctor. We're making an appointment?"
"For what?"
"Those fuckin pills. We need to ask him what they are?"
"I told you it's the generic form of Ambien."
"Whatever it is, I don't care. We are going to your doctor. Something about that shit ain't right. And I don't wanna hear anything about it. I'm not giving you a choice."
"Of course you're not. What's new?"
There was not much fight in Bonnie. Even if she wanted to rebel against him. She was too tired, and she'd never forget how much he'd helped her the night before when she felt like she was going to die.
xXx
Abby was at home for once. She'd been away so often, that when she received a call from her son, who needed to speak with her, she was glad she'd been there the few days before with Bonnie. But needing go back for a treatment, this weekend she decided to wait for him before heading out. In the meantime she sorted through photo albums, of the kids when she was younger and they were tiny. Abby had Marcel young. She was sixteen. She used a fake ID, and snuck into a bar, when she was a teenager, and lied about her age. Seemed like Bonnie wasn't the only one to lie about her age. But, Abby snuck out often and when she got pregnant, her mother kicked her out. She moved in with Laz, who was fourteen years older than Abby and the tumultuous relationship headed on the rollercoaster of emotions and abuse from then on out. Bonnie and Marcel had seen so much as children, that they both blocked out most of it. And Abby hid a lot with the exception of the bruises, from them. Laz was an awful drug addict, and a violent criminal.
But he was the only person, who Bonnie didn't know well. She just knew he made her pinky promises, and she knew he saw the sunlight when he looked her in the eyes. She smiled, and it lit up his life, but somehow, he could never see his own lady that way. He never looked at Abby that way. He never thought of Abby in the way she wanted him too.
Truth was he was an older man, with an affinity for violence, and she was a younger woman who thrived on danger and defying her family. They were a recipe for disaster, as a couple, but they stayed together, for years, for the club, for the kids, for the loyalty. Abby knew too much, Laz did too much, and the kids were the ones caught in the middle.
She was knocked out of her subconscious when she heard her son come in the house. She tried tucking pictures away, and he stood in the entry way of the living room. "Marcie."
"I'm not your little boy anymore. You can't, call me that."
"So, what do I call you? Marcel or Marcello." She smiled. "I never call you that."
"Well, start."
She shook her head, and shook him off avoiding his sharp tongue. "So, so, what is it you want to talk about?"
"You know why I'm here. How long have you known, that this nigga you are with was about to be working with the club?"
"For as long as you've known, you were all were gonna start dealin and didn't tell me. You know what dealing did to your father. The addiction. The violence. His death over his business. Why are you letting history repeat itself?"
"You're fiancé is our new dealer, how is this on me?"
"You know, Cade keeps his business far away from me. Unlike your father. And, you're my son. I worry about you. I don't worry about Cade. He's at the top of his game, he controls a lot. But you, you're the middle man. The guy at the bottom. The one with more to lose. Your life? More prison time?"
"Don't make this about me."
"Aren't we though? Isn't it all about you?" She smirked. "You're very narcissistic like your father. You like to be reckless, and think you don't have to deal with consequences. You like to hurt those you love, and act like you do it out of love. But really, it's because you can't control them."
He rubbed his hand over his shaved head, and down his face listening to her, have the nerve to lecture him. She was a half ass mom some days because she couldn't handle the strong personalities of her children, who took after their deceased father in many ways. But she coddled Marcel, because she thought, that somehow, he could turn out differently than is father. But, it didn't work. He turned out the same way. Violent, and silver-tongued. Reactive over active. "I've never hurt somebody I love, and pretended anything."
"Oh you don't? You don't do to your sister, what your father did to me?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Marcie, none of us are perfect. And I know you love your sister. But why do you think I kicked you out? And it was hard for me to send you out there under just the care of the club, knowing it could make you worse but I had to protect Bonnie."
"Protect her! You?" He grinned from boyish, to a devilish grin. "I took care of her and protected her. I did what my pops couldn't do, because you let her get away with everything."
"She's a good student, what did I let her get away with? Going out with her friends, and having fun because she's a senior?"
"Momma, for you to believe that, that's all she does, lets me know how truly, unaware you are. She's out there runnin the streets, bein a little hoe! Acting grown and shit."
"Don't talk about her that way. She works, she studies, she does a helluva lot more than you."
"You mean takes care of you?"
"I'm sorry. Ya know? I'm so got damn sorry, I dropped outta high school at fifteen. I got pregnant at sixteen. You have no idea the thumb I lived under with my family. How I was raised, and the way my life, was under their entire control, down to the schedule of my life, and the food I was forced to eat. So, when I met your father, I jumped ship. I lived my life robbing people and getting put in jail until your daddy died. Sorry, I have no skills. Sorry, I'm not perfect! Sorry-"
"Stop, momma. Stop making excuses. We raised ourselves. And I try to do for her, what you couldn't. I'm not perfect but-"
"Marcie, we can't sit here and argue. I'm trying to turn my life around. I'm giving Bonnie this house. I may not have been a perfect mother, but, I decided to give her this house. She deserves to have something from me."
"Oh, who cares that me and Gia needed a place to stay. Right? Oh, let's give the house to my seventeen year old daughter. Wow! I'm done."
"This is why I have her used to paying the mortgage here. I just wanted to see that she could handle it."
"She said, you were telling her she needed to find a place to live."
"I did say it. But just to see her reaction to being on her own."
"And you think she can afford it?"
"Well, every dime she's given me, I've saved for her. So, there's almost 17 grand put away for her. In her own bank account. Every dollar she gave me plus an extra few grand I added to it. Then, Cade is getting me the deed to the house, in Bonnie's name. It's paid for."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah. It's paid for. This… this was my plan for over a year. Cade's not all bad. He's been helping me situate my life so I can be better for you and Bonnie. So I can leave you both with something. In case anything happens to me, I wanted to make sure my baby girl was okay."
"And me?"
"I have some things set up for you. And… your father, had a Will, that I was supposed to set in motion once Bonnie turned 18 years old."
"You are giving her an entire house, momma."
"And? ... I gave you the ring your daddy gave me. I coddled you Marcie. But I can't anymore. I'm getting married. All I want to do is make things better from here on out. With you and Bonnie. I can't take back the past, but I can make the future better." She said in tears.
"Not telling me your drug dealing boyfriend was about to be my boss, was the way to go."
"I tried, but you wouldn't meet me halfway. You destroyed my house the night I wanted to introduce you. But… I just want to fix it, Marcie. How can I fix it? You only get one momma. And I love you."
"You only have, one son, momma." He tossed his mom a band of money. "Here. I wanted to give you this. I made some money last night. Turns out your boyfriend serves a purpose. That's five stacks."
"I don't need your money, Marcie."
"No, it's uhh... it's only right. I've fucked up enough. I'm getting married soon. Gia and I are going to elope."
"Son, are you? Let me help you. I want to be there."
"I'm good. I don't need help. I just wanted to give you some money, tell you the news, and get going. I need to get to the club. I have another run today. Your boyfriend keeps me busy. I guess he thinks I'm at least good for one thing."
Abby gave a head nod, "Okay Marcie." He turned and walked out of the door, leaving her to her boxes of photo albums.
….
"It's very apparent, the dependency Bonnie has on the pills, has effected her heart rate greatly. I was quite worried about her decreased levels. It was alarmingly low. It's a condition known as Bradycardia. Or, very low heart rate."
Bonnie felt ashamed and embarrassed as Damon looked between her and her doctor nervously, in need of answers. "I put a rush on the tests as I told you. And… The tests returned indicate that you had a mixture of drugs in your system. I found the benzodiazepine in your blood, on top of Ambien, and Aderrall."
"What's that?" She asked
"Well, benzodiazepine, is in Xanax."
"Same as Ambien, right?"
"No, Bonnie. Sure they are both given as treatment for insomnia. But, one is a sedative. The other is for controlling anxiety. They affect your brain differently. While both slow your heart rate, they manipulate your brain differently. It's also why you were experiencing nausea, chest pains, loss in appetite, loss of weight, and jittery muscles. Taking these multiple drugs, in various forms."
"I had no idea. They all looked the same."
"It's possible these, generic forms of medications are made illegally. They all look the same, depending on the pharmaceutical company." Damon shook his head, feeling helpless, but also aggravated. "My question, Bonnie is, I know I didn't prescribe them to you. So, how, did you get Xanax, Ambien, and Aderrall?"
"Umm… around doctor. People have them. No one in particular."
"Miss Bennett, how can I help you. Help me, help you?"
"I have no answers. People my age get them." She couldn't give away James, nor could she have any open investigating done near her school or neighborhood, that would have the Kings being looked at. Number one rule, you don't snitch. "It's common doc. Okay."
The truth was she got them from James, and took some from her mother from time to time. And the Aderrall, came from around local dealers. Not the Kings, because they'd never deal to her.
The doctor glanced at Damon, and waited. "Listen Doc. I'm just as concerned as you. I'm the one who brought her. She wasn't going to come. So, your guess, is as good as mine."
His matter-of-a-fact face let it be known, she was in jeopardy of some possible side effects consequences.
"Okay, well, You should know, your body was this close," he pinched together two fingers, "to experiencing a heart attack."
"WHAT?"
"Yes. You can't play with the casual use of prescription medications. I know you're eighteen in a couple weeks. So, by law, I don't need to notify your parents. But, I think I should have you admitted for thirty days of addiction treatment."
"I can't doc." She said defensively.
"This is serious. Addiction to prescription medication, is increasing. Relapsing, is highly susceptible. I'm worried about your health. You've always been very healthy. But, you've lost twenty pounds in five months. You, came here five moths ago for birth control. I was happy to see you'd gained ten pounds at that point. You went up to 130 lbs. now your down to 110, since you came and picked up your last prescription of birth control. And that's fine, you're still within a healthy weight range for your height. But, such drastic loss, isn't healthy. You're less active in cheerleading. So, you're overworking yourself, and under eating, and your stress levels are skyrocketing. I'm concerned. And admitting you seems like the only option I can take as far as preventative measures."
"I can't doc. I have to finish school."
"But the problem could kill you in the long run. Addiction is serious, and-"
"Doc. Please. I can't. I will be more careful-"
"Careful, baby girl!" Damon blurted out, "You can't use it! ANY of it. It's going to kill you. Your body is recovering from chemical dependency, to the point of damn near overdose. Right doc?"
"Precisely. You were close to having a heart attack Bonnie. If you didn't go stay the past night with your boyfriend, you might not have woken up. He sensed something, he made sure to get you there, this… this is serious."
"But I have to finish school. And work. Both of my jobs, pay my bills."
"And I'm recommending you quit one. Or I'm admitting you."
"Thank you Doc. My thoughts exactly."
"Fine. I'll quit the shelter." She said. "It makes less money."
"No. You need to quit the cleaning job." Damon scolded in front of the doctor.
"We aren't talking about it here. Okay. You know I need that money."
"I mean, it makes sense to keep the better paying job-"
"Unless one of her clients is a possible trigger to this behavior. Right doc?"
"Wait a damn minute. You can't-"
"Miss Bennett, I suggest any triggers be eliminated. Immediately. If you want to live a happy healthy life, and see graduation day."
Damon's face grew angrier as she rolled her eyes at him, crossing her arms and shaking her head. His hand rubbed down his face, and he put his hand on the knob of the doctor's office, ready to leave.
"Mr. Salvatore, thank you for bringing her into receive fluids, and let me run hose tests. I know it's been a long morning for all of us. Please keep her hydrated. For the next twenty four hours I want her drinking only water and non-flavored Pedialyte. She can have broths and crackers or bread for the next twenty-four hours also. Give it a good three days before she goes back to heavy solids. Keep it light for a few days. Rice, grains, oats, fish, salads."
"You got it Doc. I'm gonna keep a close eye on her. I'll cook for her myself. Her mom's out of town, so, I'll make sure she's taken care of."
Once again, Doctor Maxfield, took a note directly to Bonnie before she left, "You're very lucky to have him. He practically saved your life. Not everyone is as lucky."
"Yeah." She agreed. "Thank you Doctor Maxfield."
"I'd like you to make an appointment with the front desk. For two weeks from now."
"Okay."
"Will do doc." Damon looked him in the eye and shook his hand before holding the door open for Bonnie and leaving. But not til after he made sure she made an appointment, and promising to be the person who brought her back, himself.
Bonnie was now, in deep thought about all that had happened, and kept happening. She realized she wasn't in control anymore.
xXx
For three days of picking her up and dropping her off, Damon dealt with her silence. Every night she was on edge, and he paid close attention to her while she pretended not to be okay. Day three, she had to go back to work, with the doctors odds on his conscience, he wasn't letting it go. "You're quitting."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes you are."
Bonnie grabbed her hair at the roots, in frustration. She kept it in like she normally did and refused to cry. He couldn't help but to be understanding of her frustration, as the withdrawals controlled her emotions. "This is fucking unfair."
"No, it's not. And I'm surprised, your new "boyfriend" lets you."
"Nobody "lets" me do anything. I'm my own person."
"You think you know it all. And you don't."
"And you don't have the right to fuckin care. So, go fuck your whore, and let me be. My man, trusts me."
"You're man? Didn't you break it off?" He asked snidely, making her role her eyes. "Didn't think I knew, did you?"
"Fucking Caroline. Okay, so we're taking a break." She whispered to herself. "Either way, he trusts me."
"A break? What. Fucking joke!"
"The thing is, when shit isn't working for me, we take breaks. And I didn't have to say or do anything hurtful. I didn't tear his heart out of his chest, because I have no soul." She snared at him. "I simply asked for space. And he, obliged. That's what mature adults do. No hurtful, humiliating moments of weaknesses."
"I know, I was wrong. And I was possibly, acting on fear at the moment. Fear makes us do stupid things. But, I know, that you're too good for me. But you're also too good for him. I think, there's something's you need to know about this guy, Baby."
"I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth about a man you not know. He's… good to me. He trusts me. Whatever you have to say, won't change it."
"Oh yeah, does he know you're here, with me?"
"Oh go to hell." She backed away from him, to walk off, but he grabbed her by her arm, and pulled her close to him.
"Tell me the truth. Does he know?"
He looked her in the eyes, and made her tell e truth with his glare.
"No. He doesn't know."
"Why? Do you THINK, you love him?" Her silence was his answer. "Damn, really? And were you two monogamous?"
"Well, have I slept with you since we broke up? I've been here a few nights. Have we slept together? Kissed? Flirted?" She paused, waiting for him to humiliate himself with the truth. "Exactly."
"And if you found out, he wasn't only with you, how would you feel?" Bonnie shook her head ignoring the question.
"He's not with anyone else. How could he be, if he wants me to move in with him?"
"Move in with him?" His brows furrowed. "Where does he live?"
"Why? You going to beat him up?"
"No. I just want to know, where you spend so much time these days."
Her eyes moved to his, and she gave a reply. "He has multiple homes. But, Monday through Friday, I go to his condo in Belmont Hills. And, on the weekends he has a house, on Havens point. The other homes I've never been to."
"He sounds like a much older man."
"He's not MUCH older. But he's older."
"Does he care that you're seventeen?"
"Fuck! What happened to no fucking questions?"
"That was a few nights ago. And I know when you're lying Baby. So, it wouldn't be smart of you to lie."
"He doesn't know I'm seventeen. But who cares, I'm about to be eighteen."
"I'll tell you one thing, your entire relationship is based on a lie, and those kinds of relationships never last.. and I promise you, if you're lying, then he's lying too. He has the ability to hurt you, in more ways than one."
"What is it with you? You go through the extremes to end things, with me. I mean to hurt me the way you did, that night. Rip my heart out of my chest! With no remorse in your face. You used my body for one last moment of pleasure, then you make sure I can't be happy after you. Where's Rose, huh? Where's that bitch?" Damon looked her dead in the eyes and simply stated.
"If she mattered that much to me, I'd be where she is, or vice versa. Don't you think?"
The two couldn't stop staring at one another. The amount of pain two people have suffered for loving each other was too much to bare. It had driven a wedge between them. And that wedge was wafting Bonnie towards the thin line between love and hatred with him. Almost tipping hatred, more.
"I need to make some money and me missing work today, isn't good. I've missed three shifts in two weeks. I need the money."
"No you don't. Cel got a really good pay out couple nights ago, and he dropped some money off to Abby today."
"She was home? She supposed to be leaving today."
"I guess. All I know is, he took her some money, and you shouldn't have to worry about paying her mortgage anymore. He text me saying, that you didn't need to give her anymore money from here on out."
"Oh okay. And just forget I need my own money, right?"
"I have money for you."
"I don't need or want your fuckin money. What don't you get? You want me to rely on you, so you can fuck me over again. And by the way I have your six grand or whatever it was, at my house. Haven't touched a dime."
"I don't care." Damon knew apart of Bonnie's detoxing was making her very defensive, and on edge. She'd find a reason to get back to James, the man she was "done" with three days ago, now just to get her pills. But he was not letting up on looking after her. He also realized, he couldn't mention James business with the club to Bonnie until she was good and sober, enough to see the bad in James. Right now, she wouldn't be able to find the bad in James, as long as she was in defensive mode. "I'm not leaving your side. I don't trust you."
"And my job at the shelter? I work on weekend mornings now."
"I'll pick you up and drop you off."
"So, I'm basically in your personal prison? Don't you have a life to lead, and a club to run?"
"I handle my shit while you're at school, and when you go to work, I'll go back."
"I'm going to live with James, after I finish school. He already gave me a key to his places. And, I have everything I need there. So you don't have to worry about me."
"Pft. Live? Live with James?" He laughed. "You broke up with him for a reason. I know you don't see it now, as you detox, off that shit. But there's a reason you ended things."
"Space. I asked for space."
"For a reason." He yelled. Bonnie wasn't winning, he wasn't letting her. Had to remind her of who she once was. "That motha fucker got you addicted to pills, and you think, I'm about to sign over on this shit?" He asked cynically.
"I'm almost eighteen. You can't control me."
"That's where you're wrong. Under normal circumstances, you turning eighteen would matter. But this ain't the suburbs, and you ain't from a normal life. And, I'm telling you, you will stay away from James-"
"I will do what I want, when I want-"
"No you won't."
"Says who?"
"Club order."
"No. The fuckin club didn't sign off on this shit, don't go above your own jurisdiction and make a club order without the fuckin club's vote!"
"You want me to get them in on this Baby girl? I mean, it's up to you. But if we tell them this, we tell them everything. Me, you, James, the coke, the pills, the topless cleaning, the-"
"OKAY!" She screamed. "Okay. Got damn, you."
"So… I gave a club order which means, when I'm not with you, Gino is. When he's not Stefan is-"
"No. Do not send Stefan anywhere near me."
"Okay, its settled. I'm on Baby duty. And when I have to show face to the club, Gino will be here. The ONLY exception, is your momma." Bonnie sucked on her bottom lip, keeping back her attitude, because if he wanted to, he could make it worse on her. "Got it."
Her head nodded, begrudgingly.
"I can't hear you."
"Yup. I got it." She agreed with reserved aggravation.
"Now, you work Saturday and Sunday?"
"Just Saturday. Elena's pageant is Sunday."
"Thought you cut that bitch off."
"I'm not done with her. But, after Sunday, I'll be done."
"Why? What's happening Sunday? You starting some trouble?"
"Just a little friendly support, is all. She's gonna get what she deserves. In case you forgot what she did to me."
"Nah. Of course I didn't forget."
"Yeah. You blamed me over it. Broke up with me, and tore my heart into pieces."
"Bonnie, I-"
"Don't. I don't want to get into it again. Anyways, after the pageant, I'm done with her."
"Fine. What time?"
"One. Why? Plans with your bitch?"
"Something like that."
"You're pathetic. Well, I don't see why, you and I need to deal with each other Sunday. I told you where I'll be. Caroline will be there, I'll be fine."
"Oh. Well, we deal with each other everyday. You and I are a packaged deal these days. Where you go I go."
"And, what I'm supposed to go with you?"
"I don't know yet. I'll figure it out."
"Two months ago, everything we had was fake. Now, you expect me to let you back in my life, because you say so?"
Damon bit his bottom lip, nervously. "I don't expect anything. But to keep you close to me. Because…" he paused.
"Because what?"
"Because, you're safest… with me."
At that moment Stefan walked into the front door. This time sans Caroline. Silence fell awkwardly as they all glanced at one another. Bonnie gulped before quickly turning her whole body away from Stefan and crossing her arms. Stefan looked at his brother, who couldn't force anything.
"So, I have to drive to Belmont for some parts for the shop. I'm here for another hour before I've gotta go. You need anything?" He asked Damon, but nodded his head towards Bonnie, for his brother to see.
"B, you need something?"
"I don't need anything from that lying, fake ass."
"Ouch." Damon grinned. "You can get me a pack of cigs from the corner store. I'm fresh out."
Bonnie looked concerned for two seconds before her concern disappeared. She hated when he smoked cigarettes, but she knew she didn't have space to critique, when she'd found comfort in things he didn't like. Namely pills.
"Actually, bring me some black & milds. I need to chill the fuck out tonight."
"You got your other shit?"
"Don't worry about it. Just go get my blacks and bring 'em back." Bonnie walked out of the room, to be as far away from Stefan as she could get. "Aye, what happened between you two Rip? She don't fuckin want shit to do with you."
"I uh…" Stefan was interrupted when Damon's phone rang.
"Rose?" He said aloud to himself. "Aye. What's good?"…. "nah, I'm busy."….. "I'ont give a fuck. Gino is staying there until ten. Then you go to the club house. Vin'll be there. He's got you set up, for the night in a room." Damon was quiet for a few seconds listening to Rose talk and complain and make excuses. "Listen, okay, I ain't got time for this shit. You've already disrupted my life for long enough. You're ass is lucky I don't beat the shit out of women, for stealing from me. But for whatever reason, I care about your well being. Now, you can do what I said, or you can do what the fuck you want. And if this motha fucker finds you again, he can kill your hard-headed ass. Since you have a death wish. But, tonight… TONIGHT, I have more pressing matters to deal with. And I ain't got time for THIS SHIT!" He hung up in her face, and tossed his cell phone, hard. It dented the wall, and knocked down a glass after ricocheting into the kitchen cabinet. "FUCK! Ya know, you, Rose, B, Cel, I can't fuckin… I mean, I ain't a fuckin body guard. I'm one fuckin man." He yelled.
Stefan tried to listen to his brother, while the crashing cell phone forced Bonnie to listen from the other side of the bathroom door. She couldn't hear everything, but she tried to listen as much as she could get away with, without getting herself caught. "Bro, listen, I got you. You, don't have to worry about me no more. I told you, I was an idiot. Taking Vin's orders over yours. Don't get me wrong, I respect the shit out of Vin, but, I respect you more. I know she hates me, right now. But, I'll help you as much as I can with B. You want me to stay here, with her, while you check on Rose?"
"Fuck no. I'm not leaving B, in the condition she's in. I can't. I worry for Rose. I do. But, she don't come before the club. And she definitely don't come before you, or B."
"You want me to check on Rose then?"
"Nah. She needs to do what the fuck I told her to."
Stefan walked towards the front door. "Alright. I'm headed to the corner store. I'll, uh- get your shit and be right back."
"Yeah. I'll be here." Damon rubbed his hands through his hair and sighed as Stefan walked out the door. He turned to look at the bathroom door, and he could see Bonnie had been in there a while. So he took a few steps back into his thoughts and sunk into his couch silently.
Being a King was important. Not just because of the respect or the power. But the fact that he was able to use all of the dark and ugly things about him, and find light in it, with his love for Bonnie. Even, on occasion, his protectiveness of Rose stood out, against his gritty, street life.
It wasn't because she was Rose, particularly. It was because, he hated seeing a woman be physically hurt by a man. And somehow, the one who hurt her, took him back to the one who hurt Alisha. Ruthless, merciless, and unforgiving.
Damon leaned back staring at the ceiling before he heard a thud on the bathroom floor. "BABY!" He called out as he jumped up and ran to the bathroom door. "Baby! You okay?"
"D-D-" she stuttered, before another bout of silence, and Damon stood still trying to hear her talk, but she began to shake again. Damon banged on the door. "Baby, say something. You good?"
No words came from Bonnie's lips as he stood quietly with his ear against the door. After a few seconds, he began to hear what sounded like Bonnie trying to breath but also choking. "Baby? Baby?"
He dropped to the floor and looked under the crack to see if she was anywhere near the door so he could bust it open. When he stood back up he kicked the door and saw Bonnie having a seizure on the ground. Saliva gathering at her lips, falling slowly from her mouth but building up quickly. "Fuck. Fuck." Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and Damon turned her body to the side and held her mouth open so she wouldn't swallow her tongue, then he put his finger horizontally between her teeth to keep her from biting her tongue. "Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-" all he could think of was it being his fault. The break up catapulted her into a downward spiral feeling neglected and abandoned again. "I'm sorry. God! Please. I'll do anything. Stop making her suffer." After about thirty seconds Bonnie's body stopped and she went unconscious.
No movement or sound occurred as he held her carefully and quietly. He held his own breath to see if she was still saw barely any movement in her chest, but, if he was still enough, he'd try to feel her pulse on her wrist. There was barely any pulse, reachable to the surface of her skin, by the time she'd become conscious again. Then seconds later she woke up, discombobulated and afraid.
"Huh." She looked up in a haze trying to piece together the puzzle of her who she was. "Wha? Where?... Papi?" She asked confused. She was soft, and vulnerable. Sad, and unwell. Damon hunched over, holding her, and letting a few tears fall from his eyes, while he breathed softly onto her neck, not wanting her to hear him.
He couldn't even tell if his own tears were happy or sad. He just knew she was still alive, and life was too short. He couldn't risk losing her. He couldn't risk, her life. He kissed her forehead and she lay there, being held by him. "Baby." He whispered, pushing her hair out of her face. For a matter of seconds, he'd thought he lost her.
And he realized he made the right decision to stay with her. He never doubted it, but if anything ran across his mind in the form of a question, it was answered. He was there with her and he was able to get to her. Her body was over-heated and she needed to cool off. He stripped her of her clothes, and lifted her body up, and carried her from Stefan's bathroom into his room and to his bathroom. He ran some cool, but not cold water in his large tub, and held her in his arms as he wore some basketball shorts and no shoes. Slowly he stepped inside with her naked body, and sat with her between his legs, and held her in the water. Running it as cool as he could without it being ice cold. And as she jumped at the feel of the water, he held her tight so she wouldn't be afraid. "It's okay baby. Shh. Shh. I got you."
"It hurts." She whined. Before real tears fell from her eyes. "My head, everything… it hurts."
Damon's arms wrapped around her. "I know. It's okay. Baby. I got you." He rocked back and forth.
"I'm sorry." Half an hour ago she was angry at him. Now she's become the epitome of an emotional wreck, crippled by the carnage of chemical dependency. "I hate this. I just want to stop hurting." She cried, into his arm, as he held her from behind. The water filling his tub quickly, making its way up to her stomach now, was forcing her body to adjust to it naturally. Her hair, was soaked from the roots, with her sweat, her forehead was warmer than warm.
She didn't complain about the cool water, even though she was cold. It somehow felt good, against her hot flesh. "Close your eyes, okay? I got you. Don't worry Baby. I got you." He said softly.
Bonnie's cries softened, and her tears slowed down, before she fell asleep in his arms in the cold water.
He sat in the cool water in the bathroom with her for a while, until she cooled off. Then he got her ready for bed, and lay with her, as she slept, and he stay awake, making sure she didn't have another seizure.
Damon had plenty of time to think that night. Plan, and detail, how he'd get her out of this mess. How he'd get the, out of this mess, and how he'd show her, that nothing less mattered more to him, than her.
And for hours, he lay next to her, watching her sleep, and detailing his thoughts into plans.
…
"Ms. Acevedo, you remember I'm off tomorrow, right?"
"Yes Ms. Bennett. Just remember next week when you promised to make up the day during the week."
"Yeah. I'll be here Wednesday."
"Okay, dear. Have a good Sunday day off." The woman smiled and waived. "Feel better soon okay. Eat some of that soup I made in the kitchen. Take some in one of the Tupperware."
"I already packed it. Thank you." Bonnie smiled, with her hair in a bun and her shoes and shirt on. When she walked out of the shelter, no make up, no impression, and Gino was waiting outside on his bike, and Bonnie gave him a crazy look. Nice to de you again, G. Buuuuuuut… I'm not sure I can handle the back of a bike right now." She grinned softly.
"You can't. That's why she's here." Bonnie looked up to see her cousin Lucy, in her car.
"Oh, my… Lucy? I haven't seen you since Stefan and G's party back in January or February? Nice to see, you and the big guy are going strong?"
"Yeah. He's okay." Her bright faced grin was tossed Gino's way before he nodded his head. "Okay. I don't have much time. He's following me to take you home to get clothes?"
"Yeah. I have to show face to my mom a bit. Then she's headed to Napa. I was there this morning, but she was sleep. She's been so tired lately."
"Yeah. I tried to go there before I came here but she didn't answer her phone."
"She shuts it off when her boyfriend is there?"
"Yeah. I heard about him." Gino put Bonnie's things into the car as she got herself in and spoke to Lucy. "You… like him?"
"I don't have a feeling about him. He's not my father. But my momma's happy. What can I say?"
"Say anything."
"Uh. He's rich. He could take care of her. But she won't let him. After she relied on my Papi all those years, she refuses to take any man's money. And she's taught me to be the same way. So, she enjoys him. That's all that matters."
Lucy started the car, and drove out of the shelter's lot. "So, I have some interesting news?"
"What?"
"I'm pregnant."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah. Look." Lucy took her pregnancy test out of the glove box and it was in a zip lock bag.
"O-M-G! Does he know? What's he think?"
Lucy paused. "I haven't told him. I'm scared. I was on birth control. But, somehow… and… he is ride or die for this club. I'm not sure how he'll take it. I can't have a part time baby daddy."
"What? Gino, would be a great dad. Hell do whatever you need, I just know he will."
"Yeah… except-"
"What? I don't know. I'm scared."
"You're twenty- six. He, is thirty…?
"Thirty-three."
"What are you afraid of?"
"The family. They practically disowned your momma. They don't know I'm with him. If they found out, I'd be-"
"Cut off. Like momma."
"Yeah."
"Damn. You have to decide what you want."
"I know. Hey, don't mention it okay. I am still trying to figure out how to bring it up to him."
"Yeah. I totally get it." Bonnie grinned, until she went to looking out the window, nervously.
"So, what's this, with you and these pills?"
"Who told you?"
"B… I know Gino is on detail to watch you when Damon's away. And since Damon had to take care of something this morning, I asked G, what was going on."
"I don't know. I just, got caught up. I needed to stay focused and quit thinking about everything." Bonnie paused looking at her cousin. "Which means you know about Damon and I?"
"Me? Nah. You just told me that part."
"Okay. I see what you did there."
"Yeah, well…. What's going on little cuz."
"Nothing. Anymore. We… are acquaintances." The truth was, she didn't know what she and Damon were. She was just as confused as Lucy was. "He's family."
"Yeah. Well, it's not like our family wasn't cursed with falling for bad boys. I've known Damon a while. He doesn't seem like a bad guy. He's so quiet. But, I've seen that chick he keeps around. She's, kind of crazy. I just don't want you getting caught up, in no bullshit. Chicks like that for blood."
"I ain't afraid of her. People under estimate my crazy."
Lucy laughed. "Nah. I don't under estimate your crazy. We are related. I just, worry about you. So close to finishing school. I just don't want to see you get hurt."
"I'm good."
A bout of silence came over them as they pulled up to Abby's block and saw the cop outside with his dog. "He's… cute." Lucy smiled. "Nice ass."
"Ha. Yeah. He's, alright. A little to straight edge for me." Bonnie joked.
"Yeah. Women in our family don't do, good guys." They both laughed. "Still, he's… got a nice body. The ass is," she he,d up an 'OK' sign with her hand, "phenomenal. I could see you with a guy like that."
"Luce, stop. He's… not my type." Just as she said it, stepping out of the car, he smiled.
"Hey Bon Bon. You… been MIA all week."
"Yeah, I uhh- was dealing with some family stuff."
He could feel it inside of her voice she was lying, and he tend to read her silently, and smile pretending to believe her.
He walked to her silently, and hugged her. Sniffed her hair, and smiled. "Welcome home. I hope everything's okay." His big arms held her, gently, and she surprisingly felt ease and comfort, in his hold. After seconds of embracing he pulled up, and pulled a speck of something off of her face, then smiled. "Glitter." He grinned.
"Oh. My job, we did arts and crafts with the kids today."
"Nice to see you, staying busy. Anyway, I was just finishing up my walk with Jinx. I gotta head out. Work."
"As always."
"Well, this week, has been lenient on me." Of course. She was in one place, and he didn't have to do much. But, today, she needed to see her mother before she left, so she could get back to Damon. And the detective, had some business to attend to, that would take him away from the neighborhood.
"I'm glad you got to relax some."
"Ahem."
"Oh." Bonnie said noticing Lucy and Gino. "This is my cousin Lucy." They shook hands. "And G." When Kai and G looked at each other, G, gave an unsure look while Kai smirked in a sly way.
"I believe, G and I met before."
Gino's face paused, without all emotion. "Yeah. He's a pig, right?"
"Ooh. Ouch. Really?"
"Oink. Oink."
Lucy, grabbed Gino's arm, and pulled him towards the house, but he wouldn't budge without Bonnie.
"Kai." She called out.
"Kai?" Gino asked defensively. "Baby girl, you on a first name basis with this pig."
"G, don't. He's… he's not like them. He's a good guy-"
"You don't have to explain it, Bon Bon."
"Bon Bon!" Gino exclaimed. "B, go in the house, please."
"Kai, what's going on? What happened between you two?"
"Nothing. I distinctly remember being, pretty reasonable. He had some choice words, but I was cool. Bro… we were cool, right?"
"I'm not your bro. And I'm not explaining anything. B, we don't have a lot of time. We have to go."
Gino had never lost his cool, but somehow, some way, he lost it, slightly in these moments. When he spoke, Bonnie said nothing else to Kai. She looked worried then she walked into her house no further questions. This was gonna get back to Damon, and she already knew it wasn't gonna be good.
Before she knew it, she was in the house and Gino was having words with Kai. Bonnie felt every ounce of guilt, because Gino may have very well just left him with a warning, or worse, he just spoke his peace, and threatened a cop. Either way Damon was going to find out and she was going to hear about it. Gino waited on the porch after saying hello to Abby, then Bonnie made it quick, as Cade helped Abby get her bags packed.
Bonnie was "spending the weekend," with her cousin Lucy. Aka, Damon.
….
Rose stare at Damon as he walked out of the back room. He was very detached, even though he was fully aware, that she was present. He said maybe a few words to her since he'd seen her, but he had his reasons. He could offer her protection, but she still stole from him, and it made him look at her differently.
"Sal?" She called out while he walked around searching for his sanity, namely his bottle of whiskey."Sal?" She struggled, swallowing her pride.
"Aye, I need something from my stash." He told Maia, who was bartending tonight.
"Rye, Malt, Bourban, Grain, Irish, Canadian-"
He cut her off. "American."
Jim, Jack, Kentucky, Kentucky, Inidiana-"
"Wild Turkey. No. Jack."
"I know you hate the flavored shit. So no honey, no fire. Gentleman, Private Select?"
"Straight up. No ice."
"You got it, boss." Maia, went to make a drink, hot and dry, and made eyes with Rose, who couldn't handle Maia bartending most days. She in fact, preferred when the prospects worked the bar, because they feared her. While Maia, didn't, and also let her know she didn't work for free. So, Rose had to tip Maia well in order to get a decent drink from her.
"Sal? Please."
"Rose. My shift is over. Actually fifteen minutes ago. I have somewhere to be. Vin is running late. I'm not here to conversation today." Damon walked to his bunker, and was followed shortly after by Rose. She stare at his back as he gave her no face.
"Listen, I know I've been secretive about what happened. But, I just… will you stop a minute and listen?" He stopped abruptly and stare at her emotionless. "I'm sorry. Okay. I've been through some shit you wouldn't understand. Okay. I know I can't tell you everything. But, I'm sure you know, I was trickin, before I met you." When he looked at her more closely, his eye brows furrowed. "I know I didn't tell you. But, I just figured you knew."
"I had an idea. But, it's none of my business now. You're… not my business. You stole from me, and you're here, til you lay it back."
"I know, I'm not your concern. But, don't act like I wasn't hella loyal to you. I was. I did whatever, whenever! Anything you asked. This… guy. Him… my ex, was my pimp. He, was abusive. Okay. I left, because I'd had enough. So, I waited til I had a huge gig. Knowing I'd make enough money to leave. And, after the last client, I took off with the whole cut."
"Fuck! Rose, you had a pimp, and you bailed, with his money."
"MY money. Last I checked I was the one FUCKING for it. Okay. And, I only kept ten percent. But, the last time, I left with enough to move on. And, two days later he was busted on some drug charges, and he was locked up. I changed my hair color, and got implants, and these blue eyes, are contacts. My eyes are brown. My natural hair color is blonde, my eyes are brown. I'm not a D-cup. More like a B-cup. I thought I was unrecognizable. Rose is short for Rosalie, and he called me Sallie for business purposes."
"What are you telling me this for?"
"I thought, you'd wanna know the real me."
As much as it made sense for him to care, he couldn't. She betrayed him and that betrayal was never gonna fade. But, he felt for the circumstance that brought her to the point of that betrayal, and he had a heart, even if it was buried under his tattoos, and hard exterior.
"How much did you take from him?"
"Twenty."
"Fuck. And so, now what…? You have to pay him back?"
"Yeah."
"Or? What, he'll kill you?"
"Yeah."
His eyes pinched closed, and he shook his head. But he didn't have to ask anything, because his phone rang, saving him from this conversation, and his concern, which he wanted to avoid.
"Aye…. Yeah. Everything went okay?... She was okay today?... And her moms, thinks she'll be with her cousin?... Good. Thanks bro, I'm glad things went alright. Wait? What?... A FUCKIN COP. Okay, I'm headed there soon as Vin's ass get here…... What do you mean don't say shit to her about it?... She knows that shit ain't cool….. and what, G? Huh? She didn't say shit about it? She can't avoid it forever. So, she said she staying at Lucy's tonight! Like for real for-real?."
Damon paused and took the phone off his ear, taking a deep breath. All the while Rose watched him as he went from calm to aggravated, over a conversation about a woman, she knew he was giving his time too.
"You can't leave her G…. I don't give a fuck. She must've lied to you… She not going to Lucy's…. I know you can't force her, but- What?... She refused to get on the bike? Fuck! Okay. I'm going to get her. That's it. Take me to Lucy's. What do you mean- No. I'm not forcing her. No I'm not, I know what I'm doing." He looked up at Rose who was still trying to figure him out. Then he turned against her, and walked further away. "She's not capable. I'm trying my best but- no…. I understand that. I know, but-…. she has to understand that I know what best for her. Even if she hates me."
Gino attempted over and over to tell Damon to give Bonnie space. He was too in her face, and that he knew Damon would push and push, until he made Bonnie hate him, if he didn't take a few steps back. Allowing her to calm down and make the choice herself to allow him in her life, again.
"So, you saying, it's the club's fault, she's cool with the 5-0? Really? Wow." He couldn't believe his ears. "And you think by me giving her space, she'll come around? …. Well, let me tell you what I think. I think, if I take two steps back, she's going back to him. The candy man. And not only will she go back to him, but she'll go back to hating me." Damon sighed. "No. I don't think your against me, but fuck, this shit is hard. It's so fucking hard G….. I can't make myself-" he paused and looked back at Rose, who was too far away to completely hear him, but tried hard to. He pointed to the door of his bunker for her to leave, and shut the door behind her. Once she did, he finished talking. "I can't make myself let her go. I know, she needs to be able to make the decision for herself to want to let me in her life, but-" Gino continued to interrupt and offer his fatherly-type advice. "She fuckin hates me, and I can't change it. I did this. I did this to her and I hate myself for it….. "Of course." He swallowed hard, and felt his throats get heavy as his eyes almost watered. "Okay. Cool. Uhh, I guess I have to trust her, right? Well, yeah, it's all good bro. I need to uhh, finish taking care of shit here. Nah, nah. I'm not mad, I'm cool." He lied. "Yup….. No, I said I'm good….. Aight bro. Cool. I'll uhh see you tomorrow." Damon, hung up the phone and rubbed his hands through his hair. Two seconds later he grabbed a cigarette and lit it. Before his emotions took over he walked out to see Vin talking to Rose.
"Bout fuckin time."
"Bruh, sorry. I had some shit to take care of. You know my meeting with Cade was tonight. I'll run shit by you mañana Chico."
"Whatever. I gotta go. I, don't appreciate you forgetting I got my own shit to handle."
"I know, I said sorry, talk to boss man about it. He had Abby waiting too. They were supposed to leave over an hour ago."
Damon took a drag of his cigarette and then dropped it in an ash tray. "She needs to be home, maybe she should stay the night with you."
"Bruh, what?"
"She's… afraid, even if she won't say it. She shouldn't be alone."
It was the truth. Both Rose, and Vin looked confused as if Damon was given him some type of permission. His own way of saying Rose didn't belong to him.
"Sal, you not going to finish what we were talking about before your phone call?"
"No. I have shit to do."
"Who is she?" Rose whispered with an audacity Damon wasn't about to contribute to letting her further anger him.
"Not you." He whispered back. Then he turned to Vin. "Take care of her bro." And he left them, just like that.
But they knew things weren't all okay for Damon. They just didn't know to the extent of what was happening with him.
….
His heart was aching. He had no idea how love worked, and how much it coincided with pain. It was a feeling he wasn't used to and wasn't ready to deal with. But in these moments, he had no choice. Tonight he'd find out how a broken heart felt. He'd learn, how much he put Bonnie through that night over two months ago. He failed to realize, that while he maintained this image, of Savage Sal, he was still a human, with feelings. The human brain, operated off of cause and effect. And whether the causes much of his own actions lead to certain consequences, he inevitably worked hard to control them.
However, he couldn't control Bonnie, or her emotional outbursts and rollercoaster of causes and effects, which differed from his own. And because of his inability to control her, it left him questioning his own security in himself as a man. Did he fail her? Was he getting what he deserved after how he ended things with her? Was life, always meant to leave him alone, without the actual feeling of loving someone and being loved in return?
Damon sat in his apartment, alone that night. Stefan came and left earlier in the day. He was heading to his pop's bike shop for the next few days to fix some of the bikes and cars, of some of his club brothers, and riders. And because of this, he'd stay at his parents house this weekend, more near the shop. He may or may not have Caroline keep him company during his down time, and call it studying. But the club was his priority this weekend, not Care. They had a big run coming up soon, and all the guys needed their bikes and autos in good condition for it.
So, Damon had nothing but alone time to get through to Bonnie this weekend. To convince her he'd made a mistake. To prove to her, she was worth any consequence he could've endured, and she always would be. But instead he sat alone, holding back tears, until he could no longer. Hours had gone by, that he sat alone. He drunk his bottle of Jack and finished it hours ago. But he was so hard in his feelings it sobered him up. He split open his Black & Mild and sprinkled his hopes and dreams into it. His eyes red, his head pained, and his spliff finally lit bright in the darkened living room with only a small red lamp on from his banister.
Damon sat back in his lazy boy, with his dark blue Dickies on, hanging low on his waist, with his white boxers hanging out of the top. The boxers he often went without. You couldn't even see the color in his ink. The red light illuminated the black ink making every tattoo on his body look solid black. Even the red in his eyes was camouflaged by the red light. He'd never cried so hard in his life. Because, he'd never loved so hard in his life.
How was breaking each other's hearts in the plan?
He asked himself this question, then fought to not think about it. He'd rather take a good hit and exhale those thoughts. Damon inhaled hard, and pinched his eyes closed, as his lips hugged his spliff, just enough to keep it air tight, and not too much to make it soggy.
He leaned back and sat his arms, in resting position on the chair, with his head tilted upward, holding in as much of the smoke as he could. His cheeks puffed up, holding on, even taking a small swallow off it.
When Damon released what was left, he didn't waste any time taking another hit right away, and inhaling as much as his lungs would allow before he released it, from a choke. He coughed to clear his throat several times. That itch hit his throats so strong, he knew it's all it would take. His living room filled with smoke, and he basked in it, leaned back in his chair. A red lit room, filled with smoke, he could hardly see through to the other end. He reached for his phone and connected the Bluetooth and played music through his sound system, as loud as he could endure it. He didn't give a damn about his neighbors. He would drown in the smoke, and base, and allow his brain to hollow out, into the control of the sound waves.
He lay back in the recliner, forgetting it. Riding the waves to his day dreams, and his high. He felt the consequence of being cops at his door before long, banging, and threatening him to turn it down. Only to find he was completely intoxicated, and he harbored unlicensed weapons and merchandise all over his apartment, with scratched of serial numbers and highly organized, and expensive, for a "simple" neighborhood thief, like him. Who could now add drug muling to his resume. All a recipe for disaster. And if he left his home in cuffs tonight, he'd at least be too high to care, and too high to fight it.
And then, over the loud base, and thumps from the music, and the affects of the weed… It came, he was knocked out of his motionless, comatose state to hear a loud knock on his door.
Damon contemplated just letting the cops break the door down, and destroy his apartment, for almost an entire three minutes. Then he couldn't take it anymore. Without her, he had no reason to fight. He stood up, and walked shirtless to his door, took one more hit of his weed, and was ready to go down, before he opened the door, silently just owning his disturbance of peace.
When he slowly pulled the door open, he almost lost his calmness, when tears fell again from his eyes. He stood, afraid to move. Afraid to speak. Afraid to feel anything anymore. For once his fear was greater than his strength.
"Baby Girl?"
She stood before him questioning herself. wide-eyed, and sad-faced. Two big bags in her hand and a purse. He couldn't believe his eyes. She was undoubtedly, there. Swallowing every bit of her pride, to figure things out. Until his smoke filled apartment, hit her nerves and her face.
"Sorry. I-" she paused, clearing her throat and the air around her, that pushed out of his apartment, filmed with strong Indica fumes. Her hands waved back and fourth, to clear her breathing space. And he, still stunned, remained speechless. "I wasn't going to come back. I just, I couldn't understand how I was supposed to feel about you and all the shit you've been doing for me. After all that's happened between us."
Still, silenced by his surprise, he stood there. Emotionally, emotionless.
"I should just go." She still couldn't tell, he was crying. The red light hid his sadness, and his tears. Bonnie turned to walk away, with her bags in her hands, and he stopped her, with a hug from behind. One, gentle, but strong hug.
He couldn't speak. He just held her, and smelled her hair, the smell he loved and missed, while she paused, and let him. And then she heard him sniff, twice, before tears hit her shoulders. "Papi?" She said quietly. Her body slowly turned, as his arms wouldn't let her go, and she went from holding the bottom of his elbows, to cupping her arms, underneath his, and grabbing the tops of his shoulders, from the back, as he buried his face in her shoulder.
He cried into her neck, and she held him tighter. "I'm here for you. Whatever it is… I'm here." She didn't know what it was. She had no idea about his conversation with Gino, or what was going on in his head. She just knew, he was feeling intense amounts of pain, as hot as he was.
A questionable moment became an emotional she felt his tears, hit her shoulders moments ago, she knew she couldn't leave him. No matter what he cried about, if it was her, or someone or something else. She had to be there for him.
Bonnie pulled up and looked at the face of the man, who owned her heart, no matter how much she fought it. His breath was warm, and his eyes were near blood shot, and his naked torso was hot to the touch. "Come on." She held his face. "Let's get you inside. You need some rest, before the neighbors call the cops." Cops? He remembered his conversation it's Gino. But it didn't matter right now. What mattered is, he let her go, and she came back. And because of that, he was still silenced, by his pain, and her beauty.
She grabbed his hand, and he took her bags from her with his other hand, while she lead him inside, and they shut the world out.
Tonight, he needed her. And she could never turn her back on him, like this. She'd be there for him, the way he was there for her. When he hurt, there was no question about where'd she'd rather be.
Right by his side.
So, a lot is going on as you guys know. But I wanted there to be some real depth to what Bonnie and Damon's relationship was going through. From her seizure, to her docs appointment, to his break down in the end before she showed up, against his belief at his doorstep. Gino's words about not forcing her, and letting her choose to have him in his life. All is apart of who these two people are to one another, when they seem to be on opposite sides, they always come back to each other side. They are extremely protective of each other. So, this was just some added depth to who they are to each other. Also, Cade buying the house for Bonnie and Abby having saved all that money for Bonnie, is just a part of how much Abby had been trying to prepare Bonnie, for "what-ifs"and more and more we let a little about Laz and Abby, before they had kids. And the family Abby coms from. is Cade a good or bad guy? How Rose affects Damon in terms of Bonnie also shows, even though he's with neither woman, who he jumps to get to. Anyway I wanted this chapter to have a lot of from "Damon's POV" scenes in it. And I think the song title for the chapter is a good description, for Damon's POV, as well as playing on words about Bonnie almost having had a heart attack. Okay. Til next time loves. Thx for readin ;)