Chapter 38: Starting Over

Jeremy had finished changing the linens on Webb's bed, and turned his head to see if Webb was finished bathing. He saw the other man sitting there staring off into space and wondered what he was thinking. It had been hard the past two weeks to keep from saying or doing something that would let Webb know how he felt. It wasn't his place to start something, but oh how he wanted to.

"Is something wrong, Webb?" he asked.

Sighing Webb turned his head to look at the man. Jeremy had been haunting his dreams of late and he was pretty sure what that might mean, but did Jeremy feel the same? Pushing aside that thought, he answered the question, "They've been gone so long and there's been no word."

"My father always said that no news was good news," Jeremy smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't know how much longer I can hold on," Webb whispered, looking down at the water to where his wasted legs stretched out before him. "I'm in constant pain and I can feel my body getting weaker."

"I'm sure that Sand will find what he needs and return in time," Jeremy soothed as he picked up a towel. "Ready to get out?" Getting a nod, he helped Webb out of the tub and dried him off. Then he helped him into a clean robe and into bed, tucking the sheet around him.

Webb inhaled softly as Jeremy leaned over him. The soft scent of pine that tickled his nose caused him to lean into the other man. He rubbed his nose against Jeremy's neck, breathing in the clean smell. Gods, he smelled good, he thought as desire began to heat his loins.

Jeremy slowly turned his head to meet the other man's eyes. What he saw there made him draw a quick breath. Without thinking, he leaned into Webb and kissed him softly. A soft moan encouraged him to press their lips harder together and he thrilled when Webb's mouth opened to him. Finally, the need for air drew them apart. Realizing what he'd done, he leaned back as panic flooded him.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry," he whispered and made to leave.

Webb reached out a hand to stop him. "Why are you sorry? I'm not," he said softly, a slight smile curving his lips. He saw Jeremy still looked unsettled and attempted to set him at ease. "I've dreamed of what kissing you would be like."

"Y-you have?" Jeremy asked, wide-eyed.

"Kiss me again," Webb demanded softly.

Jeremy leaned forward and this time the kiss was deeper and more passionate. It was a long time before either came up for air. He sighed softly and leaned his head against Webb's shoulder. "I've wanted to do that for so long, it doesn't seem real." He sat up slowly and met Webb's eyes. "Where do we go from here? What about Gareth?"

Webb was silent for a while. "I think that kiss put to rest any doubts I had. I'm no longer in love with Gareth. For so long, he was all I had and I was all he had. We were best friends long before we became lovers, and he will always hold a special place in my heart."

"What are you saying?" Jeremy whispered.

Webb reached up and placed a hand against the other man's cheek. "I'm saying that when Gareth returns I will tell him it's over between us. He will be hurt, but it's what's best for both of us."

"If you're sure that's what you want to do," Jeremy said softly.

"I'm sure," Webb smiled and then the smile faded. "What I'm not sure of is whether or not we would have a future. You do know that if Sand fails that I will die. Even if he succeeds, who knows what the end result will be. I could be maimed for life and that's a burden that I will not impose on anyone."

"I love you Webb," Jeremy said, tears in his eyes. "I fell in love with you that first week you were here. Your strength and courage, your kindness, everything about you. I never dared hope that I could have a chance with you. You will never be a burden to me, no matter how short or long a time we have."

Shen and Sand stood silently in the doorway observing the two young men. Finally Sand cleared his throat, "I really hate to break this up, but-"

"Sand! You're back," Webb pulled back in surprise and then tensed. "Did you-," he stopped as fear closed up his throat.

"I found what I needed," Sand answered the unfinished question and moved into the room.

Jeremy made a move to leave and Webb stopped. "Stay Jeremy. What he has to say affects you too."

"Yes, well," Sand took a deep breath. "I found a way to cure you of this disease, but it will not be easy. There is a potion that will cleanse your body, but it is very difficult to make and will take me at least a day, perhaps two. There is also a complex spell that I will have to cast to prevent a recurrence of the malignant magic. I will need to practice it before hand. The slightest error could prove disastrous."

"So, a couple more days then," Webb stated.

"Yes, and there is more," Sand continued. "The process will be extremely painful and I have no way of predicting what side effects you will suffer. Even if we succeed, there is the possibilty that the damage done will be irreversible. You may end up crippled for life."

"As long as he lives, what else matters?" Jeremy said firmly. "There is more to a person than his body."

Webb smiled and kissed Jeremy's hand before turning to look at the wizard. "Sand, I've had plenty of time to come to terms with what happened to me. I have a lot to live for."

"Then you wish to proceed with this?" Sand queried and received a nod. "I was told that Gareth had to leave town. I take it he has not returned yet."

"No, he hasn't," Webb shook his head. "But, I don't want to wait for him to get back. I've already waited long enough."

"Then I shall get started immediately," Sand turned to leave.

"Wait," Webb stopped him. "Could you send Darmon to see me?"

Sand looked between him and Jeremy and then nodded. "Certainly, he is here being attended to by the healers." Seeing the question in Webb's eyes he clarified, "We were attacked by a large party of mercenaries about a day from the city. He suffered a broken arm in the scuffle, but he will be good as new in no time. Neeshka and I were unhurt and she has gone to the Flagon to inform the others of our return."

"Thank you Sand," Webb nodded and watched the wizard leave. He then turned his attention to Jeremy, "I think it's best if you give Darmon and I some privacy."

"Of course," Jeremy smiled and got to his feet. "I will wait in the hall until you're done."

He left the room and took up a position just outside the door. He was so happy at the moment that he felt like jumping and running up and down the hall. After a few minutes, he heard footsteps approach and turned to see Darmon walking toward him. As the man drew closer he stiffened slightly. This was a member of the Neverwinter Nine and he suddenly found himself nervous and afraid. Darmon could make the lives of those who crossed him miserable. He shook his head at that foolish thought. He was just being silly now.

"I understand that Webb wished to see me," Darmon said as he came to a stop.

"He's inside and alone," Jeremy nodded at the door.

Darmon nodded his thanks and entered the room, closing the door behind him. He moved foward and paused at the foot of the bed. "Sand told you of what he discovered I assume," he said quietly.

Webb nodded and motioned to the chair by the bed, "Please sit."

Darmon moved to the chair and sat down, his eyes never leaving the other man. The tension in the room was palpable. He had a good idea what this was about and it made him nervous. "You wished to talk to me alone. I assume it is about Gareth."

"Yes," Webb said quietly. "I don't believe in drawing things out so I'll get right to the point. I know about you and Gareth and I have had plenty of time since you both have been gone to think about it. I just want to ask you one question. Do you love Gareth?" he fixed a hard stare on the man.

Darmon hid his surprise and answered honestly, "More than I ever thought I could." He held his breath and waited for an angry outburst that never came.

"That's what I hoped you would say," Webb said and then smiled at the look of shock on the knight's face. "Not what you expected to hear huh?"

"Honestly, no," Darmon exhaled heavily.

"Does he know how you feel about him?" Webb asked softly.

"I told him, before I left," the knight nodded. "I also told him that I would give him time and space."

"I believe that Gareth is in love with you," Webb continued. "I also believe that he is clinging to me and what we once had out of guilt. I know that I am no longer in love with him, and I have found someone else. If I survive whatever Sand is going to put me through, I intend to tell him."

"He will be hurt," Darmon cautioned.

"Yes, but it's what is best for all concerned," Webb said firmly. "He will most likely be angry for some time, but he will come to accept it. I hope that you will be there for him, now and into the future."

"I don't intend to let him get away," Darmon smiled slightly. "What I feel for him I've never felt for anyone else."

"Then, I wish you all the best," Webb smiled and then it faded into a frown. "But, if you hurt him, I swear by all the gods that I will hunt you down and make you sorry you were ever born, even if I have to come back from the dead to do it. Are we clear?"

"Understood," Darmon said solemnly. He stood up to leave, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Webb nodded. "Could you please send Jeremy in."

Darmon left the room, pausing outside to look at Jeremy and saw a worried expression on the young man's face. "You love him don't you?" he asked, jerking his head towards the room.

"Yes," Jeremy stated firmly, chin lifted and arms folded across his chest.

"Well, I hope you will both have a long and happy life together," Darmon nodded and then turned and walked away.

Jeremy stared after him only for a moment before running into the room. "You told him about us?"

"Not in so many words, but he's a very perceptive person," Webb chuckled. "I've told him how I feel and made him promise to take care of Gareth."

"I'm so happy right now, I don't know what to do with myself," Jeremy grinned.

"How about you sit here and keep me company for the day," Webb suggested.

"Of course," Jeremy smiled and did just that.