Chapter 38 – The Wanderer's Fate
This takes place after "When Fates Collide" and before "Many Happy Returns"
This will be two chapters one immediately following Fates and one immediately preceding Returns
Xena was sitting silently in front of the fire. Her thoughts were preoccupied with a new realization. It had been unimaginable that Caesar could reach from beyond his grave to tamper with her life; yet again. This time, however, something was different. All of the warrior's anger and rage seemed to be replaced by a new awareness. The certainty that she now had that all things in her life led her to Gabrielle. Gabrielle was sitting across from her concentrating on making dinner. Xena watched her as she had so many times before. Somehow, tonight seemed totally different. She was thankful to be in this time again. Thankful for her life. Most of all thankful that she would never be alone again.
Gabrielle looked up and noticed Xena's expression. She smiled and continued with her efforts allowing her thoughts to wander as well. She thought about Xena; meeting Xena again for the first time. It was strange, she thought, that they returned to this reality but remembered all of their experiences in both. She wasn't certain if that was because she had burned the fates' loom or if it had something to do with Alti's visions. In the end it didn't matter. She was glad that she could remember what it felt like seeing Xena for the first time; this time as an accomplished woman not an eager young girl. The amazement she felt was the same. The feeling that somehow life was complete. She finished with the frying pan and went to sit next to Xena. They sat in silence for a while.
"Gabrielle," Xena said softly. Gabrielle acknowledged her with only her eyes.
"Did you ever think," Xena continued, "That all of this… everything was meant to be?"
Gabrielle thought for a long moment. "All of it?...No….I don't think all of it was meant to be…. But it all has a purpose."
Xena stared into the flames as she so often did. "I didn't even know you….but when I saw you I knew I loved you."
Gabrielle smiled and stroked the warrior's hair.
"There is always a cross, Gabrielle. Some kind of cross. The Gods. Caesar. Romans. Guilt. Crosses – all of them." Gabrielle looked at Xena with a tear in her eye. She could not deny that what Xena was saying was true. They had each carried crosses, each been nailed to them but in the end both had somehow survived it all.
"Do you think without them….. The crosses…. We would be together?"
Gabrielle looked at the flames as they danced and thought about her reply.
"Xena," the bard began, "I think that in every life there are crosses; maybe not like the ones we have had to bear; in this life these things are our crosses – in another life it will be something else. But yes…..I think we will always find each other…. I'm sure of it. Even changing the world couldn't prevent that."
Xena closed her eyes. For so long she had believed that she would never really love – that sharing her life with someone was unwise if not impossible. And yet somehow this girl from Potedaia came along and captured her heart. And now she watched and marveled at the woman who commanded her soul.
"You burned the fates' loom," Xena laughed.
"I did."
"I wonder if they are back in this time…"
Gabrielle did not hesitate in her answer, "I don't think so, Xena. I think there is a higher power in charge now. The same one that made certain we found each other."
"Eli…"
Gabrielle smiled, "Yes, or something like Eli."
Xena nodded her agreement as she recalled a conversation she had with Eve shortly before they parted company for the last time. She became lost in the memory. Eve had told Xena that she should think about finding some place to settle for a while:
"Mother," Eve had said, "You can't stop every villain. You need some peace."
Xena had looked at her daughter as though she were crazy. "Eve, it is not me to be still."
"Perhaps not," he daughter smiled, "But if it is boredom you are worried about – I think you can rest easy. Trouble will find you all by itself…If you hadn't fought the Gods you and Gabrielle would be…"
Xena cut off the messenger, "We would be dead…" she laughed.
"That's not funny," Eve said.
"I'm not being funny. It's true."
"Well, maybe you just don't see it."
"What are you talking about?" Xena asked.
"What you really need to find peace, Mother…..it's right in front of you….your 'redemption'"
Gabrielle saw the faraway look in the warrior's eye. "What are you thinking?" She asked.
Xena's nose crinkled and her eyes narrowed. "I'm thinking," She said slowly and paused, "I'm thinking about something Eve said."
Gabrielle was puzzled, "Really? What did Eve say?"
Xena let forth a slight chuckle, "Oh something profound about finding peace right in front of me."
Gabrielle searched the warrior's eyes for some greater understanding.
Xena sighed with smile, "Maybe she was right."
"What are you saying, Xena?"
Xena's expression became more serious, "I don't know. It just seems like trouble will find us without us looking for IT."
Gabrielle laughed, "That's for sure."
Gabrielle laid her head on Xena's shoulder. "Gabrielle?"
"Hummm?"
"I think we should go to Athens."
"Why Athens?"
Xena shrugged. "I don't know. Why not?"
Gabrielle giggled, "Always the wanderer."
Xena smiled. Perhaps so. As she kissed Gabrielle on the head she thought of Eve again. 'I do have peace right in front of me, Eve. No matter where I go.'