Almost done!
"You should be packing," Legolas said, sitting down beside his daughter in the gardens.
"I started, but it was depressing, so I came out here to think."
"Still unsure what to do about Saelhir?"
Breigel glanced around at her father before letting out a sigh and nodding.
"Do you want my advice?" Breigel nodded. "Stop worrying about it."
"That's it? I'm not sure I can do that."
"You are over thinking this. You are too focused on whether this should be happening and not on the fact that it is. You get that from your mother."
"This is different though. It's not about status."
"Isn't it?" Legolas asked, watching her closely. "Perhaps it's not for the same reasons, but your status is just as important here as it was for your mother and me."
"How is that?"
"Her worries were about how the change in status would change her. Your worries are about how your status gives you responsibilities that will keep you away from Saelhir. Am I wrong?"
Breigel was silent, thinking about this for a moment. She supposed her father was right. She was leaving because she had duties to her family. She was still unsure if she was ready to label their relationship as romantic, but certainly one of the concerns keeping her from deciding was that she was unable to settle, that they would suffer the same pain every time they parted. The first time they had merely been close friends. She could not imagine how painful it would be if it were more.
"You aren't wrong, but I still don't think I can stop worrying. I don't want Saelhir to keep suffering because of me."
"He will either way. It's up to you to decide which path will be worth the pain. Change is hard, but it is a part of life, and you shouldn't stop living yours just because you fear pain. Nothing would ever be accomplished, no good things would ever come from bad if we let fear control us. You haven't had to suffer real hardship in your life, so it isn't easy to understand, but often times, even if it is doomed to end in tragedy, a little bit of happiness can be worth all the sorrow."
"You mean like Aragorn and Arwen."
"Their story is one example, yes. They knew how the story would end, yet they did not let that dictate their lives. Nor should you, on the slight chance that you will suffer some pain before the end. Focus on the good, not the bad."
"Thanks Ada," Breigel said with a smile, hugging her father before standing. "That helps."
"I'm glad. Now go finish packing so you can spend the afternoon with Saelhir."
When their last day in Idhrenodol arrived, Lord Elrond and his family hosted a small party to say farewell to their guests. It was a cheerful affair, despite the goodbyes. A large part of this was because Saelhir and Breigel left early in the evening, deciding to spend their last hours together in a more intimate setting.
Tinwe and Legolas had consciously decided to leave on a day when Saelhir was not training, so he could see them off. That also meant that the night before, Breigel intended to stay up all night with him, enjoying his company for as long as she could before their departure in the morning. So they chose to ride out to the beach, arriving just before nightfall.
"It's hard to believe I'm really leaving," Breigel said softly, her head resting on Saelhir's shoulder as they leaned up against the rocks, looking out over the sea at the stars coming out against the dark blue sky. "I have gotten so used to being here; it will be strange returning home."
"You can only avoid responsibility for so long, I suppose," Saelhir said lightheartedly.
"Sad, isn't it?" Breigel said with a sigh.
They were silent for a while, listening to the waves on the shore. Eventually, Breigel pulled away, turning to face Saelhir with a strange look on her face.
"What is it?"
"I wanted to give you this," Breigel said, moving her hair out of the way as she unfastened a chain around her neck. Pulling it free, Saelhir saw a tiny blue vile dangling from the middle. Breigel handed it to him, and he looked at it curiously, admiring the fine craftsmanship, the detail in the glass container.
"It's beautiful."
"It's from Alqualonde. Inside is a drop of water from the sea. I bought it to remind me of the bliss that I felt sailing along the shore. I want you to have it."
"Why? Surely you needed it more, since Taurost is so far from the sea."
"I want you to hold on to it for me, and to bring it back with you when you come to Taurost," she said, taking it from him so she could fasten it around his neck for him as she spoke. "I hope it will convince you to visit Taurost soon, but more importantly, I want you to look at it and remember how much you mean to me." She paused, leaning back to meet his eye as she continued. "I have not been thinking clearly as of late. I do not know if my feelings are because I know how much it hurts to lose you, or if I truly love you the way you deserve. But I do know that being with you is just as wonderful as sailing out on the sea, perhaps even more so. When you return this, I will have the two things returned to me that mean the most. I think then I will be able to know exactly what you mean to me, whether my love for you is stronger than the Teleri's insatiable love of the sea."
"I hope I do not have to wait long to find out," Saelhir said, kissing her cheek.
"As do I," Breigel said with a smile, settling back into her comfortable position at his side.
Morning dawned, and the young elves woke to the sun peaking over the horizon. It was the day of Breigel's departure, and they could feel the weight of it bearing down on them. They rode quietly back to Idhrenodol, the city just waking up as they passed through.
"I just remembered something," Saelhir said suddenly as he returned Bronad to his stall. "How long do I have before you leave?"
"An hour maybe?" Breigel said, looking at him in confusion. "Why?"
"I am sorry, I have to leave you for a bit. I have something I meant to give you a while ago. I will be back."
He disappeared out of the stable before Breigel could reply. Puzzled, she left Thala to go fetch her bags from the palace. She hoped Saelhir would be quick. She would not leave without saying a proper goodbye.
An hour later, Breigel was deep in thought as she put her bags onto Thala. She was acting on instinct, not registering what she was doing.
"Need any help?"
"Trying to get rid of me, are you?" Breigel asked with a grin, not having to look up to know who was leaning on the stall door, even before he spoke. She had felt him returning.
"You know very well that is the last thing I want."
Breigel just continued saddling Thala with a bittersweet smile on her face, finishing her work before looking around to see Saelhir watching her, his eyes a confusing mix of happiness and melancholy. It was not surprising to see, but it made her own heart ache a little.
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
"I did. Here," he said, entering the stall and handing over a small bit of rolled fabric that fit in the palm of her hand. Breigel unfolded it gently, gasping with surprise when she saw what was hidden inside.
"Saelhir, where did you find this?"
"In my old saddlebags. I found it a few years ago when I was getting rid of some of my old things."
"I cannot believe you still have it," Breigel said in awe. Sitting in her hand was a tiny knife, only about as long as her hand. Carved into the hilt was the unmistakable image of Minas Tirith, mountains rising up behind in fine detail. She had received it just before leaving Middle Earth from King Eldarion. "I thought for sure I had lost it."
"Do you remember stealing it from your mother the week we first arrived in Taurost?" Saelhir asked with a grin as Breigel turned it over in her hand to see the fine elven letters on the opposite side. "It took me a while to remember hidding it in my bags to keep her from finding out."
"I do remember!" Breigel said with a laugh. "And I remember being distracted by Faelon, which is probably why it went undiscovered all these years. I am glad you found it. Thank you."
"Breigel, we are leaving soon."
"In a moment, Ada," Breigel called out in reply to her father's voice echoing through the stable. She looked back at Saelhir with a sigh.
"I guess this is goodbye," she said sadly, the smile fading from her face. "As long as it is not for too long."
"Not quite," Saelhir said, taking her hand and starting towards the door,. "You are not getting rid of me that easily. Last time, you rode with me to the border. It is only right that I ride with you at least to our borders."
Breigel smiled lightly, letting Saelhir lead her out of the stall, Thala following close behind. He finally let go of her once they reached the end of the stable where the rest of the travelers returning to Taurost waited. Breigel mounted, quickly followed by Saelhir, who wrapped an arm tightly around her waist as he settled behind her in the saddle. Having expected his presence, the elves simply started towards the path south without a word.
Despite the melancholy atmosphere, Breigel was far happier on this particular ride than she had been the last time she and Saelhir had rode like this together. Like then, she closed her eyes, intent on remembering everything she could about him, from his earthy smell to the warm arm wrapped around her middle. But this time, she knew he would be back with her soon. She slid her hand over his, entwining their fingers again as she leaned back into him, enjoying the feeling of belonging that she had begun to expect whenever she was with him. She felt a pleasant shudder run up her spine as he unexpectedly kissed the tip of her ear. It was not the first time, but it still made her heart race every time his lips touched the delicate skin. His lips lingered there for a while, the warmth making her lean into his touch.
Time passed strangely then, and all too soon, Thala stopped, marking the end of their short ride together. It was with a reluctant sigh that Saelhir let go of Breigel, sliding off the horse. Unhappy at the loss of contact, Breigel quickly followed, landing lightly in the small gap between him and the horse, a compromising position that she never would have allowed had it been anyone else.
"This is where I leave you, Princess," Saelhir said softly, tucking her hair behind her ears as was his habit. "As much as I have enjoyed this, I cannot go any further. If I do, I doubt I will be able to stop myself coming with you."
"I wish you could come with," Breigel said, not for the first time. She reached out and carefully extracted the tiny blue vile from where it hung around Saelhir's neck. "This is a promise," she continued seriously, meeting his eyes. "A promise that you will return to Taurost within the year. I do not think I can bear it if you were away from me for more than that, not now that we are together again."
"I doubt I could either," he said with a smile, kissing her forehead before pulling her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her off her toes briefly before returning her to the ground, though his hands stayed on her hips, reluctant to let go. "I love you too much to let you go for long."
Breigel blushed, looking down again as her lips curled into a smile. "I love you too, Saelhir," she replied in a whisper. She looked up through her lashes as she continued; "I hope you know that I mean it." In response, Saelhir bent down and kissed her cheek.
"I know. And even if you are still not sure what you want from me, know that I will always love you more than anything else in this world. You have given me hope these last few weeks, and that is more than I ever dreamed of; and should some cruel hand of fate part us once more, I could survive off of that hope for all the ages to come."
Breigel looked into his eyes, and knew he meant it. Before she could think it through, she leaned up to him, planting a kiss firmly against his lips for no more than a second, a furious fluttering in her chest at the feeling of his lips on hers. But still shy and afraid of her feelings, Breigel pulled away before he could react, swinging up into the saddle and galloping away, leaving a very breathless Saelhir behind her. He turned and watched her ride away, catching up with her mother waiting at the bend in the path. She slowed, sparing a moment for a glance back behind her, her emerald eyes sparkling as she met Saelhir's deep brown ones before she turned and rode into the trees, leaving the young elf she loved standing unsteadily in the middle of the path, alone with his wildly circulating thoughts. He could not wait long, he told himself firmly as he stared unseeing into the trees. Not after having tasted those thin red lips that had left such a sweet tingle lingering on his own.
"Naneth?"
"Yes dear?"
"Do you think I love Saelhir?"
Tinwe turned to look at her daughter, who was staring down at her hands as she rode, her brow furrowed in thought. She had been very quiet for the last few hours, ever since she had galloped off, leaving the young elf behind her. Having witnessed their parting, Tinwe was not surprised. There were certainly a great number of things for her to be thinking about.
"Of course."
"But how do you know? How do I figure out if I love him more than just as a friend? I mean, I feel like I do, because I have never felt as happy as I do when I am with him. But I have always felt like I could trust him to be there for me, and I am not sure if that means I love him the way he loves me or not."
"Honestly, I think you have always loved him as more than a friend."
"What do you mean?" Breigel asked quickly, looking up at her mother. Tinwe smiled calmly, turning her eyes forward to where Legolas, Faelon, and Aerlinniel rode just out of earshot.
"I remember the day you were born," Tinwe began softly. Breigel listened, waiting for her mother to get to the point when she was ready. "From the moment you took your first breath of air, you began crying. I was so worried something was wrong with you, worried that whatever had happened when I lost your brother had somehow affected you as well. Nothing I did would stop the crying. Nothing your father or Faelon or anyone else did could get you to calm down. I suppose I should have realized that you were perfectly healthy at that point, having strong enough lungs to carry on the way you did. But I was desperate to find something to get you to stop. I called in your grandmother, your uncle Angsul, anyone who I thought might be able to answer why you would not stop crying. None of them could explain it. Nothing appeared to be wrong with you. You just wanted to cry.
"Eventually I had Icaria come in; as she had so recently given birth, I thought another mother might be able to help. She had Saelhir with her, and he looked none too happy about the loud noise that was coming from my arms. Intent on offering to hold you, hoping that she might be able to lend some sort of assistance, Icaria put Saelhir on the bed beside me. Immediately, he crawled over to look into my arms at what was making the awful noise. He looked at you in confusion for a moment, before he stuck his hand out towards you. I was wary, not sure what he intended to do, but when your hand reached out and touched his, you immediately stopped crying. Saelhir was a rather disagreeable child, but when you wrapped your fingers around his, he smiled down at you. I will never forget his small voice giggling happily as he said, 'She's pretty.' From that point on, you two were nearly inseparable. More than once I caught Saelhir trying to sneak into my room to see you, and at least while you were a babe, you behaved best when he was nearby. I couldn't explain it. No one could. Perhaps it was just Saelhir's natural gift with children. But I think even then, you knew that he was meant to be with you.
"When Icaria took him away to Idhrenodol, I got further proof. You nearly faded. I was terrified, wondering how you could have such a strong connection that at not even twenty, you were physically weakened by his absence. I do not imagine he told you, but he was ill for some time as well, trying to pretend like he wasn't. But Icaria wrote to me anxiously telling me that he was not eating and had trouble sleeping. I think that the separation became less painful over time because the bond between you was still so young and immature. It was not fully developed yet because you both were not ready to handle it. When you were reunited, it took a remarkably short amount of time for the two of you to become the friends you had once been. I had not seen you so content for years. You did not seem to care as much about Faelon's engagement with Saelhir around, either. That was particularly telling. And I am not the only one who saw it. When did you begin thinking about Saelhir as more than a friend?"
"I heard him say he loved me," Breigel said softly, remembering the pounding her heart made when she'd heard it. "On our last night out in the mountains. I started wondering if maybe I loved him, too."
"That is what I thought," Tinwe said with a satisfied smile. "The night of the autumn festival, it was pretty clear to everyone, I think, that you both were in love. You both glowed."
"I told him I loved him that night," Breigel admitted. Tinwe looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "When we were out in the gardens. But I told him I wasn't sure what that meant, and I would need time to think it over."
"I know you are wary about declaring your feelings after what happened with Faelon," Tinwe said softly, "and that you fear change. But I think you know that Saelhir would never hurt you. I doubt very much that he has ever considered loving anyone but you. Clearly, you have a connection that cannot be ignored. If it were up to me, I would not hesitate to label it love. The sort that only comes around once in a lifetime."
"I do love him," Breigel admitted softly. "Very much. My heart aches from the weight of it. And now we are parted once more. I can feel the strain, like a string pulling at me, trying to get me to go back."
"Your bond is growing stronger from both of you feeding it, acknowledging your feelings and acting on them. I know the separation is hard, but it is only for a short time," Tinwe said with a smile. "The connection will waver at the distance, but it will return when you are together once more. Knowing that soon you will be together should keep you from suffering as you did the first time. And I will be surprised if Saelhir lasts a single season without riding after you. Especially after that goodbye."
Breigel turned pink at her mother's words, but smiled softly. She hoped that she would not have to wait long. At that moment, her heart wanted nothing more than to be back in Saelhir's arms.
One more chapter and then the epilogue! Thanks to Shorty McGee, brooklynn. meyer. 9, Aquafin, Zip001, WoodElfJedi, and courtnie. cambelle for the reviews! Brooklynn, I hope this chapter answered your question. :)