It was dark out when the EMTs were done with Andy. Kayla held his hand the entire time, but Deeks held back, clearing the scene.
Kensi grabbed his arm, nodding toward the mother and child. "Go with them; I got this."
"Kensi, she told me to stay away."
"Don't you play tortured with me. You just saved her son—your son. Go."
He walked slowly toward the ambulance, hands deep in his pockets. Andy looked up, a huge smile on his face.
"Dad!"
"Hey, Sport," Deeks replied, sitting on the fender and ruffling his hair. The change in style exposed his black eye, and he grinned sheepishly as Kayla looked on. "I'm so sorry."
Andy furrowed his brow. "You didn't make this happen."
"I should have reported Alan the first time he showed up at the house." He spoke slowly, hoping the child understood.
"Dad, you saved me." Andy took his arm out of its sling long enough to hug his father. "Thanks."
He released and yawned. Deeks smiled in spite of himself.
"Come on, Sleepyhead, we need to get you home," the mother coaxed, pulling Andy's hand.
Threesome rolled up in front of her apartment. Andy was asleep in the back seat. Even after everything he had just been through, he looked so peaceful.
"I wish I didn't have to wake him," Kayla sighed, unbuckling her seatbelt.
Deeks looked back, smiling softly. "Let me help you," he offered.
Kayla led the way to the apartment as Deeks carried Andy up the stairs and into the child's bedroom. He stood in the doorway as he watched Kayla remove Andy's shoes and socks, tuck him into bed, and kiss his forehead. Kayla joined him in the threshold.
"He really is a great kid," Deeks whispered to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Kayla looked over her shoulder at Deeks. "You know, you're his hero."
"Today, he was my hero."
She smiled, leaning into him. Carefully, Deeks wrapped his hands around her waist, unsure of their status.
"I should have never sent you away. You gave him something to believe in; a reason to want more. I'm sorry."
Deeks kissed the top of her head. "I never understood before today how much goes in to being a parent. It's a good thing Sam and Callen went after the kidnappers; I probably would have shot them both. You lost him, worried about him, cared for him, then, when it was all done, took him home and put him to bed."
"The thing about parenting—there are these moments that are phenomenal. You know; the ones you see in the movies, or even sitcoms. But not everyone's life is a sitcom. Sometimes parenting is about getting up every day and doing the same thing and praying to God that you don't go stir crazy. Boys make messes. They're loud, obnoxious, and scary. I have no idea what will happen when he starts asking me about girls. If he's anything like you, I should probably start running for the hills."
Deeks smiled in agreement.
"After eight years, I thought I had my routine down; I could handle him as a single parent. Then you showed up and I got scared. I didn't know what it would do for our routine, but more importantly, I didn't want to share him. He's always been 'my Andy'. I haven't let anyone else in because I didn't want to screw up what we had."
"Kayla—" Deeks started.
"I didn't want to screw it up—but then you changed things for the better. Andy is himself, only more. He's thriving. You've opened up a side of him I never could have, but I got jealous. I was afraid that he would like you more than me, and I used the fight at school as an excuse to get rid of you."
"Kayla—"
"You want to know what's funny? I would have done the same thing, but he was too embarrassed to tell his mother about being beaten up at school for me to help him."
"Kayla," he tried again, and she turned her head, listening. "You'll always be his mother, and you'll always have his heart. You know why?"
"Why?"
"You've been there the whole time, and he knows you'll always be there for him."
She smiled. "Thanks."
Deeks almost kissed her, but stopped himself. "I should get going."
He pulled away from her, but she grabbed his wrist. "Stay." He looked back; her eyes implored him. "Please stay."
Within a second, he had her in his arms. She relaxed into them, releasing the tension and stress of the day. Her cheek was pressed against his chest, and he could feel her tears through his shirt. She was shaking like a leaf, the day finally hitting her.
"Marty, I'm so scared."
"I'm right here."
She led him to her room, letting go of him long enough to slip off her shoes and slide under the covers, clothes and all. After a moment, Deeks joined her. She snuggled against him, safe against his warm body, wrapped in his strong arms.
Her voice wavered. "Thank you, Marty."
There was a slight disturbance on the pillow as he lifted himself close enough to kiss her neck.
"Good night, Kayla."
Kayla slept soundly that night. The sound of Deeks's breathing was soothing, the sensation of his chest against hers calming to her tired one.
Deeks didn't sleep at all. He stared at the woman before him, a thousand thoughts running through his mind.
After the events of the day, he realized that his presence was not healthy for the safety of his son or Kayla. She had been right; he was dangerous. Anything he did at work, anyone he put away, could come after them, and he cared too much for anything else to happen to them.
Andy had taken it like a champ; he was proud of the boy. But what of Kayla? She had been worried sick. She held it well, but when she let it out, she crumbled. And she would have to get up the next day to a whole new—whatever. He couldn't risk another kidnapping—or worse—for Andy or Kayla. It was better for them to return to life the way before he had returned then Andy living without a mother. A father working with NCIS would be an absentee father, and he never wanted that for his son.
No—he would have to go.
Kayla twisted in the bed, turning over to face him. She sighed, and her hair fell into her face. Deeks tucked her hair behind her ear, taking in her every feature. As if she knew he was looking, she smiled peacefully. He stroked her cheek and ran his thumb across her lips.
The sun peeked over the horizon. He knew he had to leave, but he couldn't stop staring at her. He groaned, swinging his legs off the bed and pulling on his shoes.
One last look, he told himself.
She was sprawled out on the bed, half above, half below the blankets. The sunrise illuminated her skin. It was pure and clean. There was no makeup and just a hint of California tan. Her skirt was riding up her thigh…he had to force himself to look elsewhere. That smile remained.
Crawling onto the bed, he placed a lingering kiss on her lips…and was gone.
Kayla bolted awake at the sound of the door slamming. Grabbing a hoodie to cover herself, she ran to see the culprit of the noise.
"Deeks!" She yelled after his retreating figure. He contined walking. "Marty!"
He turned, and Kayla could see his face. His puppy dog eyes were tortured and the slightest bit misty. She ran over, looking up at him.
"Aren't you staying?"
"You were right. I'm not right for you and Andy."
Kayla's brow wrinkled. "Marty, what are you saying?"
"I need to leave you alone."
She laid her hand on his arm, pushing him towards the apartment. "Come on; let's go inside and talk."
He took a few steps with her, but halted at the top of the staircase. Upon entering that apartment, he would be defying her wishes once more, and he couldn't bear to do it again.
"No." He turned his face away; he couldn't stand to see her now.
A soft hand turned his chin back. "Marty, what's going on?"
"You were right. I'm no good for Andy or you. As long as I'm around, you won't be safe."
"You make us safe!" Kayla contradicted.
"I shot you father!"
"I told you to! You were amazing yesterday."
He pulled away. "That was yesterday. What about today? Or tomorrow? I've put away a lot of guys and any one of them could come after you."
"You forget that it was my dad who came after Andy—not one of your guys."
"But what happens next time? What happens if one of my old marks comes after you?"
"You seem to forget that I can handle myself—and besides! You'd be here to protect us."
"I'd protect you better if I left you alone."
Her lip quivered. "You can't mean that," she whispered.
"I made you a promise, and the best way for me to keep it is to walk away."
"That is the most cowardly thing I have ever heard you say," she accused. "You'd rather abandon your son on the off chance something might happen to us?
"Kayla, these guys don't mess around! If they find out my weakness, they'll exploit it at the first chance they get. That's what they do: hurt the people you love."
Kayla's mouth dropped, her hands falling to her sides. "You love me?"
The detective forced down the impulse to kiss her on the spot. "Yes—no—it doesn't matter. All that matters is that as long as I'm in your life, neither you nor Andy are safe."
"I don't care," Kayla shook her head.
"You don't understand!" He fairly yelled, beginning to pace. "I can't always protect you, and if you got taken—I don't know what I would do. If I'm unattached to you, no one will come after you."
She folded her arms and cocked her hip. "You just love to torture yourself."
"You'll be fine without me. You said it; you know how to handle yourself."
"What if fine isn't good enough?" she choked out, jutting her chin defiantly.
"It's the right thing, Kaye," he pleaded.
"Oh, so now you choose to be noble," Kayla snapped. "Years of flaking, doing what you want, and this time, you choose to be noble."
"It's the right thing!" He repeated.
"Screw the right thing! I love you!"
Deeks stopped short, eyes full of inner turmoil. In two steps, he was at her side, kissing her as never before. It was hard and passionate, as Deeks squeezed his eyes shut, committing every sensation to memory. It seemed to last forever, but only until he broke away softly, rubbed his thumb over her lips, and was gone.
Kayla opened her eyes a moment later, entranced, but found no one in front of her.
"Deeks?" she called. "Deeks?"
There never was an answer.
"You ass! Curse you and your nobility!"
She did not know that the object of her affections stood just around the corner, panting, and wishing with every fiber of his being that he could go back.