A/N: I'm not sure if I should apologize for this chapter or not, there are far too many penises involved I'm afraid.
It was a long night. We were all tired, yet the opportunity to forget all our worries for a few hours proved too much of a temptation to withstand and so we stayed up far longer than would have been healthy, eating and drinking and celebrating the recovery of Berwald, thanks to a bit of bread and water.
The owner, the gruff man with the pitch fork didn't seem too pleased with our presence but after a while and lots of consumed beer he seemed to warm up a bit and even allowed his son to sit with us and listen to our stories. The son was even younger than I had guessed from the first time I saw him, maybe the fact that he was wielding a big hammer like that had made him seem bigger than in reality. His name was Peter.
According to Peter he had lived all his life here at the inn and his father wouldn't let him go on adventures so he was more than eager to listen to the wild stories that Mathias conjured, partly they were true but a big portion was entirely made up. But Peter didn't mind at all when suddenly dragons and trolls appeared to attack us, or a magical unicorn, this one was a courtesy from Arthur, helped us to find magical mushrooms.
Peter was shooed to bed by his mother, the woman who had wielded the crossbow, a little later, and then the owner came to sit with us. He told us about the circumstances that forced him and his family to treat every stranger with suspicion because there were bandits in the area, but not ordinary bandits, no these were especially brutal, burning everything down and slaughtering everyone who crossed their path. And something was fishy about those bandits, they were too organized and too well equipped, almost like soldiers, some even believed that there was secretly a war going on, but he thought that that was nonsense. There had been a decline of customers though, and he hoped that the bandit plague would subside soon, there was already a lack of travelers in winter season but with these bandits around, all he could count on were the locals from the village up the road.
It didn't feel fair towards the man and his family to break his little delusional bubble, after he had provided us with so much help and hospitality, but still there was no way around it. And so we told him the unfortunate truth, about the bandits that were actually soldiers in disguise and about the war that was sweeping over the land.
Despite the nature of the news the owner still was thankful, for now he could warn the village and prepare himself and his family, and to show us his gratitude he invited us to stay for free. With his dire situation in mind, the fact that war was coming wouldn't help his business at all, Mathias insisted on paying so in the end we agreed on paying for our stay but he would make sure Berwald got the best medical treatment as possible and he would personally ride into the village first thing tomorrow and get the healer to come and take a look at the injury. The village was not big enough to have an actual doctor, but at least they had a healer who had some prowess with herbs and the basics of medical treatment.
The mood was a bit depressed after that, but after the owner treated us all to a new round of beer as a way of thanks for keeping his son company earlier. Peter tended to get lonely, the servants who worked and lived here were mostly busy at the stables the barn or the small forge behind the main house and they all were much older than him so getting to talk to strangers who were closer to his age was a pleasant diversion for the boy.
"It was a real pleasure to talk to you guys, well most of it at least, but now I'll better go and tell the guys on guard duty to look out for more than ordinary bandits. And I'll go and see if your friend needs anything if you don't mind." With that the owner got up from his seat and collected the empty beer mugs from our table. "Don't worry, I wanted to go and check on him anyway." Tino smiled at him and stood up; despite the amount of beer he had drunken he didn't seem inebriated at all.
Remembering my more or less embarrassing behavior back at Francis and Arthur's dinner party, I had declined most of the refills and was still nursing my first beer. That and I didn't like the drink as much as I had the wine and so it was not hard to hold back.
"Okay, then I'll go and prepare your rooms."
A short silence filled the room after Tino and the owner had left but it was soon broken by one of the men from the other table who came over to propose a drinking contest, since he and his friends had noticed how much we were consuming. "I have made a bet with my friend Joe there; he told me that he could out drink any of you and after I've seen what you two," He indicated Arthur and Mathias, "can down I decided to give it a try. You see ol' Joe has such a big mouth when it comes to his alcohol belly and none of us was ever able to drink him under the table, but I feel it's time to feed him his own medicine. I'll even share my winnings with you, when you defeat him that is."
"Vince, what the hell are you doing, you should ask them for a drinking game and not to marry you." One of the men yelled through the room and Vince visibly cringed at the man's insulting tone. "Is that Joe?" Arthur asked voice still clear, despite the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Vince just nodded.
"What do you think?" Francis wanted to know, after the owner had told him that there was no wine he had begrudgingly drunk a few beers but he had kept insisting that wine was much better. I could only agree. "That Joe seems to be in need of a lesson I would say." "I wholeheartedly agree." Arthur looked almost mischievous as he took a final sip out of his tankard, almost as if to provoke the men at the other table, he then exchanged a pointed look with Mathias and they both got up to follow Vince to his rowdy friends. "Whatever, I'll go to bed." Emil half yawned half spoke and picked up his puffin that had contently nibbled on a small fish the owner had got him.
With a bit of awkward shuffling we managed to trade a brotherly hug and with that Emil left the room, waving a short goodbye to Francis. I would have followed him but I didn't want to leave Francis alone with the two other who probably would end up dead drunk under the table so with not much alternatives we ventured over to the table at the other end of the room and sat down. Francis at least seemed more pleased with these events than I was.
"Wish me luck babe." Mathias grinned at me and kissed me full on the lips, causing the table to erupt into whooping and shouts of encouragements. A small voice told me that if those men had been sober, their reaction would have reached more into the disgusted area of emotion. Same sex relationships were not that uncommon, but they used to stay behind closed doors and the common people rarely encountered them, for they couldn't afford to lose the chance for offspring. And men who preferred boys would go into brothels to tend to their needs or if they were privileged enough they would take a male lover beside their wife, but open displays of affection in public was usually frowned upon. It was acquiesced but not at all accepted.
But of course Mathias didn't care about such things.
"Arthur mon cher, do you also want a good luck kiss?" Francis asked with a more than seductive wink. I half expected Arthur to decline along with insulting Francis, but to my surprise he leaned in to get a kiss from his lover. But Francis wouldn't be Francis if he didn't make a show out of it, so he grabbed Arthur, pulled him over on his lap and bent him down to suck in half of his face.
Before Mathias could get any additional ideas from that, I quickly slid a away from him and soon Francis joined me on the sidelines of the table that had turned into the tourney ground for a dead serious competition. Or something like that.
The owner's wife silently catered a sheer endless amount of filled tankards that went through the hands of the self appointed referee Vince who made a show out of examining each and every one of them before he passed them on to the contestants. Joe had teamed up with one of his comrades, a man whose thick red nose proved that he and alcohol had a long history of mutual understanding. They sat on one side of the table while Arthur and Mathias sat on the other side, the last man standing would win the contest; the first one out would have to pay the bill. I sincerely hoped that neither Arthur nor Mathias would give up first, since we had to leave most of our money behind when the city had been attacked; we weren't exactly on the rich side anymore. And we still had to pay for board and lodge.
I would have preferred it though, if they wouldn't participate in the first place, but I decided I could always get back to Mathias by leaving him under the table once he was out. Or maybe I could exploit drunken Mathias, who knew what he would do in that state. Oh the possibilities, they were endless.
I really should spend less time with Francis; his personality was rubbing off on me.
One could truly say that Vince was a dedicated referee; he took note of every beer that was consumed and kept an eye out at the same time if anyone was trying to cheat. But at least Arthur and Mathias would never waste any beer.
We had agreed on not making this a timed battle so everyone could drink at their own pace, the amount of consumed beer in the end would be counted. But that didn't stop any of them from guzzling down one beer after another with neck breaking speed.
It felt more like a contest of manliness than a drinking contest, but maybe that was the same in the end.
At some point I had lost count of the beer Mathias had drunk, but judging from the amount of empty mugs that were cluttering on the bar where the wife had put them out of the way, it was a hefty amount. And to my utter horror, both Arthur and Mathias gradually lost their inhibitions, well as far as they had been present anyway, and after his approximately tenth beer Arthur had begun to strip and danced on the table with only his shirt knotted around his waist, beer in hand and singing, no yelling a bawdy song that would probably make a maiden blush.
But then again, that maiden would already been too busy blushing from the sight of Arthur's naked thighs to pay attention to the song. I tried to focus on the wood pattern of the table, after I had seen something peeking from between Arthur's legs I desperately didn't want to see it again. I wondered why the wife of the owner hadn't kicked us out yet. It was not that I was a prude, hell I had worked in a brothel, I had seen more cocks than I ever wanted to see, and unfortunately I had felt most of them, but I never wanted to see or feel them. The only penis I wanted to have anything to do with unfortunately was attached to a pretty idiot who merrily drank his brain away right next to me.
At least Francis enjoyed the indecencies that were going on around him.
Joe's friend had passed out a beer ago, causing Mathias to cackle madly over 'idiots who drink too fast', while attempting to drink two beers at once. Look who's talking.
Joe, now determined to make up for his friend's blunder slowed down a bit, but he was already showing signs of weakness as he swayed back and forth in his seat and spilling most of his beer which earned him minus points on Vince's beer chart.
"To Lukas, who I'm going to fuck senseless tonight!" Mathias suddenly exclaimed, his tankard raised high into the air, the contents sloshing around and wetting his fingers. Arthur cheered loudly, having stopped temporarily with his singing to raise his beer to a cheer with his drinking buddy. Vince looked a bit confused but decided to ignore Mathias as he noted the liquid that had spilled during the toast. Why was he even bothered by that, after all there was Arthur's freaking dick in the air right in front of him! Francis carried a smug grin that would have made me shudder if I were Arthur.
"Mathias, shut up or I'll personally smack you under the table." I warned, raising my eyes enough to meet Mathias, careful not to- damn there it was again, Arthur seemed to enjoy waving his wang into my face.
Maybe I should start drinking too, so that I would forget that all of this ever happened.
Despite my immediate half-dive under the table after I had encountered Arthur's wiener in far too close for comfort space, my warning had achieved its goal and Mathias refrained from further sharing our love life with an uninterested audience. Thankfully at this point Francis remembered who the cock that was enjoying its freedom belonged too and he dragged Arthur down from the table and covered him up, well not after he had felt him up for a few solid seconds. But any piece of cloth between me and Arthur's- oh this is getting incredibly old, you know exactly what I'm talking about so there is no damn need to find a new word for penis each time, dammit.
Where was I, right, every piece of cloth that separated me from that thing was a good piece of cloth and if I and to endure Francis' lecherous behavior for a few moments then so be it, at least it was not directed at me.
I decided then to pray to any god or goddess that might or might not be out there for this evening to end soon, preferably now, because I didn't know if I could take any more of this foolishness. If I would end up in hell because I didn't believe in any god, then it most likely would look like this, a reconsideration of my religious believes might have been in order, I certainly didn't want to be slapped around by penises for the rest of my existence.
I had to complement Joe for his endurance, but eventually he reached the limit of his alcohol tolerance. He didn't pass out though, but after he almost dropped his tankard, Vince decided that the battle was over and proceeded to count the casualties.
Arthur had been weaned from his beer by Francis who was now doting over his drunken lover, a task he rather enjoyed since Arthur was needy for affection. Mathias on the other hand hadn't realized that the contest was over and continued to slosh down his beer. Only when the wife of the owner stopped the beer supply and collected the last empty jug from Mathias' hands did he notice that something was going on.
"Where's my beer?" He slurred, looking around and blinking in confusion. It almost was adorable how lost he looked. "Lukas, where is my beer?" He whined, he didn't seem to understand at all what was happening around him.
"Okay, the results are definite, the winner is Mathias, closely followed by Arthur, loser is obviously Ted, but I suppose he's not ready to pay yet." Vince seemed far too pleased with himself as he poked Ted, who somewhere during the night had slid from his seat and under the table, with his foot. "But I'm sure Joe will cover for him." He grinned at his friend who was in a similar state than Ted, only that his eyes still were open. "S-sure, everything you say, Vince, good friend, Vince." Joe mumbled, the words rolling thickly from his tongue. With a self satisfied grin Vince helped himself to Joe's money pouch and paid the woman who was impatiently waiting at his side, eager to get the drunkards out of her taproom.
"Lukas, why are you still dressed?" Mathias in the meantime had slid over to me and now was leaning heavily on me, trying to whisper into my ear. I feared that he wanted to be seductive, but the effect was destroyed by the drool that was leaking on my shoulder.
"We better get them into bed." Francis suggested with a slight chuckle, a sleeping Arthur in his arms. Why could my drunken idiot not fall asleep, then I wouldn't have to deal with his antics.
After we had said our goodbyes to Vince, who told us with a mean glint in his eyes that he would drag his two friends into the stable, which was frequently used as a sobering-up cell, and then return to his village. "Thanks guys, you really did me a favor there." He beamed and waved at us, before he bent down to pull Ted from under the table.
I hoped I would never end up with friends like that.
The wife directed us to our rooms and somehow I managed to direct Mathias up the stairs and into our chamber, maybe it was better that he wasn't asleep after all, I wouldn't have been able to carry him upstairs like Francis did with Arthur. I dumped Mathias on one of the beds and attempted to make my way over to the other one, but before I could go far I was pulled down and abused as a pillow.
"I love you babe, you are awesome." Mathias mumbled into my ear, he seemed to have grown quite comfortable on his resting place on my shoulder. I usually didn't mind sleeping in one bed with Mathias, but with him this drunk I doubted that I would get much sleep if I slept with him.
"I'm so glad that I met you." A soft smile formed on my lips and I gave in and lied down, Mathias following behind and cuddling up to me. ""I love you." I whispered and ran a hand through Mathias wild hair.
We were still dressed in the clothes we had worn for days, but I couldn't find the heart to get up and disturb the sweet slumber Mathias had seemed to fallen in and so I closed my eyes, quite content with the warm body in my arms.
Maybe I would get some sleep after all.
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