Chapter 36: The Old Pine

Bill looked at Dipper, who had himself just finished his breakfast. "Well, any ideas on what you're going to give them?" Dipper asked.

Bill nodded and followed Dipper into the living room where Wendy was watching TV. "Yes, I at least know what to get Fez. I only need a pen and paper for that."

"Talkin' about birthday presents?" Wendy asked. "I'm almost surprised you're getting them anything." Wendy looked up from the TV. "But then again, you wouldn't miss out on this chance to mess with them, would you?"

Bill looked surprised for a moment before grinning one of those mischievous smirks that Dipper hadn't seen on him in a long, long time. "You know me so well, Red. I'm impressed."

Wendy shrugged and looked back at the TV. "Just don't kill anyone."

"No promises. I can't prevent pure stupidity." Translation: 'Only if you're all dumber than I thought.'

Dipper handed Bill a pen and paper, Bill sitting on the floor and pulling a book from the small library kept there in the living room. Using the book as a flat surface to write on, Bill began at first to sketch, and then to draw. Lines for roads, depictions of trees and various landmarks…. It wasn't fifteen minutes later that he was putting on the finishing touches. Dipper looked over in concern when he heard Bill hiss a little. He'd poked himself hard enough with the pen to draw blood. Smearing his blood over the top left corner of the page, Bill rolled up the paper and placed the pen in his back pocket.

"What is it?" Dipper asked curiously. "Why the blood?"

"The blood was needed to activate the ancient runes," Bill clarified, "and, as for what it is, you'll hear an explanation when I give Stanley his gift. In the mean time, if you want to know what I'm getting Stanford, you can help me prepare it. I could use the assistance."

"So you've thought of something?" Dipper asked.

Bill nodded. "Certainly, but in order to make it I need to go into the forest. There's an ancient pine in the center of the forest. That's where I have to go."

"Why?" Dipper asked.

"I'll explain on the way."

Dipper looked over to Wendy, who was still reclined sideways on the couch. "You coming?"

Wendy turned off the TV and jumped up. "Sure, nothing good on anyway. And like Bill said, you could use the help."

"Good. I was hoping you would come," Bill said as they exited the Shack and headed off into the forest. "I'm not sure Pine Tree can get what I actually need. You though? I think you can manage it."

"And of course you couldn't do it," Wendy taunted lightly, ruffling his hair. Bill immediately began to pat it down again, as if it would help. He was mildly surprised that Wendy was acting so casually around him, but then again, surviving a water demon attack together had probably strengthened their previously nonexistent bond.

"What exactly has to be done?" Dipper asked, looking about at the shadowed forest surrounding them. It was a bright and sunny day, but under the cover of the thick pine tree branches it was shaded and cool.

"The ancient pine tree, the largest tree in Gravity Falls' forest, has magical properties. It's sort-of a crime to mess with it, every creature in the forest knows to respect it, but I don't have to follow such rules. They respect it because it's old and powerful. I'm older."

"But not more powerful," Wendy teased.

"Well not right now," Bill pouted. "But that's the only reason I'm using it. At the very top of the tree its needles grow thick and young, bristling with magic. If one uses them to write, they can give power to written spells that when written with a normal pen are absolutely useless."

"So someone has to climb to the top and grab a pine needle?" Dipper asked.

"I'm assuming that I'm the one who's got to go get it," Wendy started, not sounding annoyed, but casual about it. "So are you going to give this needle to Ford?"

Bill shook his head. "Not at all. I'm going to use it. I couldn't very well write my runes with Dipper's silly little ink pen."

"It worked fine for the runes you were writing earlier," Dipper pointed out.

"Those weren't my runes, Pine Tree. Those were just regular old little characters. Mine are…. Special."

"And how do we know you won't just use this pine needle to write a spell that gives you back your powers or hypnotizes us or something?" Wendy asked suspiciously, studying him carefully, trying to detect any deceit in his reply.

"Even the Old Pine isn't powerful enough to get me my powers back. As for hypnotizing; it wouldn't work on Stanford. He's encoded his mind and placed a metal plate in his head to avoid such occurrences. He'd stop me, and the results of an attempt to hypnotize the rest of you could be disastrous and rather painful for me. I don't fancy getting punished by six-fingered hands, you know. I won't try anything."

Wendy seemed to take his words at face value and didn't protest any further. She'd still watch him carefully though, of course.

Bill stopped abruptly and looked up. "Here we are," he announced. Wendy and Dipper looked up too. In front of them was a pine tree with a trunk as thick as an elevator shaft. Dipper took a few steps back to try and see the top of the tree, but no matter what angle he looked from he could only see branches and never the towering peak of the Old Pine.

"I didn't know pines could grow this big." Wendy sounded mildly impressed. "My dad told me there was a huge tree in the forest he could never find; he's wanted to chop this tree for years. I always assumed he was lying, or over-exaggerating."

"Like the source of the falls, only magical creatures can find their way here. You're no exception; you're only here because I know how to get past the barriers."

"And you need me to climb this thing," Wendy corrected.

"That too. Your father's probably seen this tree by climbing to the top of other tall trees. Above the tree line it's visible for miles around." Bill looked over at Dipper, who was currently pacing around the tree, trying to see up to the top still. Louder, Bill said: "But from down here it's impossible to see most of it."

Dipper groaned and came over, mumbling under his breath as he pulled out his Journal and began to write.

"So how do I get up?" Wendy asked. "My belt won't exactly fit around this thing, I doubt the tree would like me sticking it with my axe, and the lowest branches are pretty high up there."

Bill shrugged. "How should I know? It's not like Fordsie's second lab: There's no staircase. I brought you along because I thought you could figure it out. Maybe I overestimated your capabilities."

Wendy rolled her eyes. She walked over to a nearby, moderately sized pine and looped her belt around it. She pointed at Bill. "Don't try anything while I'm gone. I'll be back in ten."

"Better make it thirty." Bill smirked. "And remember, I need one from the very top!" Wendy couldn't resist another eye roll as she climbed the tree before her. More than half way up its length she stepped out onto a branch and jumped to one of the lowest hanging branches on the Old Pine. "Thank you!" Bill called up to her as an afterthought while she began scaling upward over thirty feet above them.

"So how does a pine tree get to be this big?" Dipper asked, preparing to write more in his Journal.

"Of course normal trees can't grow this tall. Only here in Gravity Falls does something like this work." Bill turned around and sat down with his back pressed against the Old Pine's trunk, scanning the area around them. Dipper sat down next to him and wrote in the Journal.

"What makes this tree different? How did the magic choose it? Why not the tree next to it?" Dipper asked, looking up at the dim light that barely broke through the trees in the golden noon light.

"You're asking how magic chooses a host?" Bill laughed mirthlessly. "I've been wondering the same thing for trillions of years, kid." Dipper looked at him, confused.

"You don't know how this tree got its magic?"

Bill frowned. "Well, truth be told, I do, in fact, know how this very tree was made possible. I did that, of course. Planted the pine cone that became this tree hundreds of years ago. The point is, even though I know how this specific tree got its power, doesn't mean I know how everything ended up the way it did. How did the Universe choose you or Stanford to defeat me? How did the Axolotl end up the being of creation? How did I get my powers? I really couldn't say."

Dipper looked up again at the tree they were leaning against. "Well," Dipper thought, "if you, a higher power, made this tree into what it is today, then shouldn't there be a higher power choosing things like who gets what powers, too?"

Bill groaned and rolled his eyes. "Don't go religious on me kid. I won't claim that God doesn't exist, but I also don't claim he does. I really don't know. If he does exist though, I'd like to give him a hearty punch to the gut. I think I'd hate him."

Dipper scoffed. "But you're the bad guy. You're supposed to hate a theoretical God."

"Yeah? And who made me the bad guy by giving me these powers?!" Bill yelled, his eyes flashing red.

Dipper lifted his hands in a calming gesture. "Alright, aright, calm down. You think life sucks, I think things have turned out pretty well so far, neither of us is sure what exactly we believe in, so why don't we just agree to disagree?"

"I thought you were Jewish, Mason Pines," Bill glared mildly at him, his eyes bleeding back to their original golden glow.

Dipper shrugged. "Just because I believe in God, doesn't mean I claim to know everything, or that I can't be scientific and logical. Besides, I'm not even going to think of trying to convince you to be religious."

Bill stopped staring at Dipper, instead looking back out at the forest ahead of them. "Well…. good. It'd be a waste of your time. "

"I figured. You only believe what you want to believe."

Bill didn't respond to that.

Dipper held out his Journal to Bill. "Would you mind writing down how we got here?" Dipper asked, holding his pen out to him too. "It's something good to know, in case we ever need to get back here and you aren't around."

Bill smirked and began writing, handing it back a few moments later.

"Aw, c'mon, really?!" Dipper asked, mildly annoyed. On the page was very neatly drawn, perfect little symbols. "Did you have to do it in code?!"

Bill laughed. "Name's Cipher. What'd you expect, Pine Tree?"

"At least the symbols are familiar. Ford uses most of these occasionally. I already cracked the code for them when I had Journal Three."

Bill scoffed. "Yeah, right! The thing about that is, Ford got some glimpses of my symbols and decided he'd assign them randomly to letters and use them as his own. In reality, he's got them all mixed up. For example, he took my symbol for 'I' and marked it as his 'L' and what's supposed to be a 'J' he has written down as 'B'. Some of the characters he even drew sideways and up-side-down and misrepresents them! It's ridiculous."

"Well, I already know what your 'J' and 'I' are now, so that narrows down the possibilities. Want to give me any more hints?" Dipper asked, smirking at Bill.

Bill face-palmed lightly. "You're a dweeb, Pine Tree. I should have written it in another language instead of just in code."

"Why?" Dipper asked. "Scared I'll figure it out?" Dipper had already translated the 'I's and 'J's and was well under way, having used mainly the 'I's to figure out a few other letter symbols.

"You're not going to like it." Despite the warning tone in his voice, Bill couldn't prevent a smirk from creeping onto his face.

Dipper finished decoding the small passage easily. Aloud he read: "'There are just three steps involved. Step one is to know that the Old Pine stands thirty-five degrees North-East of the Shack. Step two is not allowing yourself to get turned about on the way there, as the magic tends to interfere with one's sense of direction and location devices.' So far so good," Dipper commented. "'Step three: Don't be a pathetic juvenile named Dipper. Or a human, for that matter.' Really, Bill? Really?" Dipper looked up from the Journal and glared at him. When Bill only smirked and shrugged in response, Dipper laughed and rolled his eyes.

"How else do you expect me to define the need for a certain magical quality that human beings lack?" Bill asked rhetorically. "That's just about the best description I can provide. Sure there are ways to keep the forest from screwing up your sense of direction, but there's no need for me to write that, seeing as it's already included in Stanley's gift. You'll see what I mean later."

Dipper was about to pry and demand to know then and there what Bill was talking about, but they were interrupted by a rustling in the leaves above them as Wendy dropped down from ten feet in the air nearby, having just hastily hopped from branch-to-branch-to-ground. She held a single, thick, green pine needle with a brown tip at the end where it had been pulled from its bark, grasped firmly in her right hand. She held it out triumphantly.

"See? Ten minutes. Never doubt a Corduroy!"

Bill smirked and took the needle from her, inspecting it. "Not the best, but it'll do. And of course I never doubted your capabilities, I just wanted you to rush so I wouldn't have to be waiting around for too long. I need to sleep before Mabel returns from shopping."

Wendy blanched as Bill casually began to stroll back in the direction of the Mystery Shack. "Why you…." She wanted to be angry, and she was, but part of her was simply amused. She snorted and began to follow Bill through the forest.

Dipper stepped up next to her. "Are you alright? You've got a few scratches, and your hair's kind of a mess."

Wendy shrugged. "What a charmer," she said sarcastically, making Dipper blush lightly. "It's nothing serious, just had a run in with some weird talking crows* near the top that someone didn't mention." She raised her voice a bit and looked at Bill towards the end of her response, ensuring that Bill could hear her as he walked a mere two meters ahead of them.

"Oh, yes, I'd quite forgotten about them. Or maybe I just didn't feel the need to mention them since I know Corduroys, such as yourself, can handle these types of small setbacks. And you did handle it just fine, didn't you?" Wendy only scoffed again in reply as the trio returned to the Mystery Shack, Bill humming a seemingly abstract, undeterminable tune along the way.

*Minor reference to Kiki's Delivery Service, in case anyone was wondering.

A/N: Happy Resurrection Sunday/Easter/whatever you call today.

Canon doesn't specifically say that Dip and Mabes are Jewish, but it practically almost does. Either which way, that's just what I'm going with. Won't matter too much for the story anyway.

And in case anyone wants to know, I'm NOT planning on turning this into a Bill-finds-God-and-prays-and-that's-where-the-redemption-comes-from kind of fic. Not because I'm opposed to the idea: In fact, I'm sure that for every person who would hate the story going that way there's also someone who would love it. I'm just not taking the story in that direction. For lots of reasons and also kind of at the same time for no reason at all. *Insert Me Shrugging*

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So anyway, hope you liked the read. Remember! Reviews=Faster Updates. Reality=Magicians' Playground. Universe=MATRIX? Buy Gold=Economic Security. BYE=C'ya.

Yup, I think I finally understand what Bill was saying. "We live. In. The MATRIX." Lol. XD