SotOR
Map Quest: Turn Right at the Terantatek
"Well, a deal's a deal. I'll help you get past the barrier. It should take just a moment." Jolee said. Sure enough, after a few seconds of messing with the massive gate, the force field deactivated.
And so, we began our long, arduous trek through the jungle.
After several minutes of walking, Mission spoke up.
"Hey, Naru, have you ever considered making an army of clones?"
It took all of my willpower to not burst out laughing.
"Where did THAT idea come from?" I replied.
"I think I just stepped in something, which I DON'T want to know what it was, and thought to myself, 'What if I had a minion clone to do all of this nasty crap?'"
"Well, If you want to make a clone, you have to be smart about it. Let's face it, the only upside to having clone minions is that they are both trustworthy and expendable. However, unaltered clones only are you biologically. They could wind up completely different from you mentally. And then you couldn't trust them, making them an unnecessary expense. You could hire a thug on Nar Shadda for a thousand credits, whereas a clone would take a hundred thousand, at least, and take several years. Therefore, you need to make them think like you. That means making a neural map of your current brain, then replicating it in vitro. This also gives the benefit of the clone having all of your skills and education. However, that would make them think that they ARE you. That's all well and good, until they notice that someone that looks like them and shares their name is living in their house, and using their money, sleeping with their girlfriend, and so forth. Depending on how you do the 'neural cloning', They either know that a clone was made, or they don't. If they do, either they think they're the original, or they don't. If they do not think they're the original, they could develop the 'need' to separate themselves from your identity, and that could mean everything from developing a different taste in clothes, to becoming a serial killer. If they don't realize they are the clone, they can try to kill you to get 'their' life back, as the 'clone' obviously 'stole' it from them. If they don't realize there was a clone involved at all, they will kill the obvious 'imposter'. Therefore, the only feasible way to clone yourself with with any reliability, is to gender swap them. That way, they immediately realize that something's different, have concrete proof that they aren't the original, and have a built in way of distancing themselves. However, even then, the clone will not be willing to do anything you are not willing to do yourself. Therefore, for the aforementioned objective of 'having a minion to do all this crap for you', they will be useless. And as the MOST safe and ethical way of doing so involves GUARANTEED gender identity issues at the LEAST, I can't say I endorse it."
Mission just stared at me. "You have REALLY put some thought into this."
"Yeah, back when I was married, I considered making a backup copy of me, to keep her company in case something happened to me."
"How did that turn out?"
"It didn't. I outlived her, so I scrapped the project. Which is weird, because I was the career soldier of the two of us. I pretty much had the life expectancy of a mayfly, yet here I am."
"I wasn't aware the technology to 'neurally clone' people existed." Carth commented.
"Not in the Republic. I actually invented it during my Neurology studies. "
"You're a Neurology major." Carth asked, skeptically.
"Technically, a doctor." I replied.
"What made someone like you go into a field like that?" Juhani asked.
"Well, It all started when I tried to make a ... Well, mix between a security camera and spy satellite, would be the best way to describe it. On my homeworld, we weren't very technologically advanced."
"What do you mean by 'not very advanced?'" Canderous asked.
"I didn't learn what a blaster was until I was over thirty. Until then, it was pretty much swords and knives, until the FAL-CIE Renaissance."
"FAL-CIE Renaissance?"
"I'm getting to that. Anyway, I pretty much had no Idea what the hell I was doing, and so when I was programming the damn thing, I accidentally... gave it the ability to think."
"Like a droid."
"Yeah. It was pretty dumb in the beginning, but I saw potential in it, and so I began studying neurology and psychology, so I could... maximize the potential of my accidental invention. Neural mapping was something I got inspiration for halfway through my studies. Anyway, the artificial intelligence, called FAL-CIE, standing for Fuiinjutsu Artificial Lifeform - Cognitive Intelligent Entity, could process data faster than humans could, and that led to a massive scientific resurgence, and we went from having the most common form of travel being either on foot, or on the back of an animal, to having spaceships within a decade. Of course, that wound up biting us in the ass, but still. We called that the FAL-CIE Renaissance."
"So, you accidentally invented droids, studied neuroscience to understand what the hell you just did, and the droids invented space travel for your people. And you have seriously given in-depth thought to making a clone army." Carth summarized.
"Pretty much."
"Are you sure you never tried to take over the galaxy?"
I couldn't help it. I burst out in laughter.
"That does not make me feel safe." Carth muttered.
"Hey, I told you, I scrapped the idea. No worries." I said, in between laughs, as I struggled to keep myself under control.
Also, I spun my lightsaber like a baton, cutting down a kinrath mid leap, no doubt drawn by the noise.
"Alright, I think that was our cue to double time it, people."
And so our trek continued.
"Hold up." Jolee said suddenly.
"What's the matter, old man? Bust your hip?" Mission asked,
"No, we've got company. FREYYR!" Jolee shouted.
And then a wookie dropped down on us.
"Hello, Jolee. And who are these others with you?"
"We're assassins." I answer.
"...What?" Freyyr asked, incredulous.
"They were recruited by Chuundar, but they're only here because they're holding Zaalbar hostage. We need your help to free him." Jolee explained.
"Yes! Please, help us Freyyr, you're our only hope!" Mission pleads.
"We're on a mission from God." I say, putting on sunglasses.
"What?"
"Sorry, wrong Carrie Fisher movie." I explain, taking the sunglasses off again.
"Why did you even bring those? There is zero sunlight down here." Carth reasoned.
"You just never know."
"...I'm not even going to ask." Freyyr decided. "Although, If you DO wish to start a revolution against Chuundar, you are going to need Bacca's Blade."
"Oh crap. I heard the capitals in that. Let me guess, I'm going to have to go on a planetwide trek to find the one volcano on Kashyyyk, where there will be a castle built over it, and It'll have a fancy name, like Dol-Guldur, and then I'll have to duel a necromancer to the death, or something of that nature. And rescue a princess at some point." I pause. "Wait, does Zaalbar count as a princess at this point? If so, that would really lighten my workload."
Mission put her face into her hands. "OH FORCE! NOW I CAN NEVER UNSEE THAT! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THE MENTAL IMAGE OF ZAALBAR IN A DRESS!?"
"Because I haven't traumatized you yet, today. I had to rectify that. Otherwise, you might get spoiled."
"I am one-hundred percent okay with that."
"Too bad."
"No, you don't have to do all that. You just have to kill a several millennia old beast of legend." Freyyr explained, trying to keep us on track.
"Oh, thank Inari. A mission objective that plays to my Modus Operandi."
"So, what? Will we find the blade in it's lair or something?" Canderous asked.
"No, you will find it within the beast itself. Long ago, a young chieftain tried to kill the beast to prove his own worth. The blade broke off in the creature's hide, and it healed over. If you wish to draw the beast out, you will have to prove your worth as a hunter, and bring kills of yours to the different ritual locations, and string them up. The scent will lure the beast, so you may do battle."
"So, kill things in order to kill the hard-to-kill thing. Got it." I summarize. "Well, best get to it then."
Killing the kinraths we needed was child's play, at this point. We then proceeded to the 'sacred hunting ground' where the beast would show up.
"Oh, FUCK." I say, when I catch sight of the 'beast'.
"What's wrong?" Juhani asked.
"That's a Terantatek."
"A what?"
"A Terantatek. A beast that hunts by tracking it's prey through the Force. It can resist most force techniques, It's hide repels lightsabers, and they're smart. Jedi years ago put together special Terantatek kill teams, and mostly wiped them out. all but one of the Jedi that were sent died... and the survivor snapped, and became a Sith Lord."
"Uh, nice history lesson, but what does that mean?"
"A damn-near-sapient Rancor-ish beast that is specially bred to murder Jedi."
"Why isn't it attacking?"
"It's waiting for me to finish explaining, so then you'll know that we're fucked, so it can watch in amusement as we freak out before it kills us."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. They're smart. They're also, invariably, assholes. Did I forget to mention that? Because they are. Fortunately, I have experience in dealing with them. In fact, there's one method that allows you to turn any fight with them into a non-issue, but I'll save that for next time. Now, to put my lightsaber away, as it's only going to tickle that bastard, and out comes Sakura." I say, equipping my Lanvarok.
I fire the buzzsaw-shuriken, which imbeds itself into the Terantatek's left eye. Enraged, it roars, and charges. I charge as well, but I leap to it's left at the last second, and swing at it's stubby legs, causing it's momentum to make it trip and fall face first into the ground. Before it regains it's balance, I hack away at it's softer underbelly, until it stops moving.
"Alright, I did the heavy lifting, so you guys look for the blade." I say, to the groans of Mission and Carth.
"Fortunately, I recognize this place, and know where the Map is from here."
I sit on a nearby root, while the others get the grisly task of dissecting the beast to find the blade.
"Oh, this is so gross." Mission whines.
"Found it." Canderous said, digging out a sword blade.
"How did you find it so quick!?" Carth exclaimed.
"I looked for where the scar was, Republic. Once again, you show the brain power that is so signature of the Republic military, which explains why they were sucking wind until Revan showed up."
"Hey, play nice, Canderous." I immediately interrupt, before Carth can retort.
Canderous scoffs, but does as I ordered.
"Alright. Unless you guys want to rest up, let's continue to the map."
"We haven't done anything besides walk, and carve up a dead thing." Mission complains.
"Mish, while they seem boring, the missions where you don't have to do anything are the best kind of missions." I say, with Carth and Canderous nodding their heads in agreement.
"Whatever."
And so we continued on the path that would take us to the Star Map.
AN: Sorry about the wait. Hope the double-size chapter makes up for it. I was actually considering taking out the 'clone' discussion, or at least postponing it, until after the "Reveal". Let me know if you think it's to... out of place, as my first instinct thought it was. However, I had to give out backstory somehow, and it's better to have a little bit, every once in a while, than to have it all dished out at once. And before you ask, No, it's not just filler. I have plans for the information given out this chapter.
And before people say "Naruto, a Ph.D? WTF? Ph. Ds are a big deal, and Naruto's book dumb, you can't get one overnight, you're turning him into a Mary Sue", etc. Naruto was over thirty before he left Konoha, as mentioned above. The Mandalorian Wars happened after that, and is ten years prior to this story. Meaning, he is over fifty. The information we get from canon is from when he's Sixteen-seventeen. That's over thirty four years to get good at it. Keep that in mind.
Also, yes, I am tying in Final Fantasy 13 into this. It'll just be background flavor, though. Though it should give better insight on what I meant by 'artificial bijuu' I mentioned almost 15 chapters ago.