Title: Off The Grid

Author: rekkidbraka

Rating: T

Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.

Category: Romance

Disclaimer: No infringement intended.

Spoilers: None

Summary: Tony and Ziva spend a day investigating in a small farm town.

The blue Dodge Charger roared down the single main street, drawing the attention of the people enjoying an outdoor lunch in front of a nondescript converted storefront on the town square. Bright sunlight glinted off the car's body; gravel kicked out from under its thick wheels. At last the car whipped into a parking space, brakes squealing as it slammed to a stop. An elderly man tottering down the sidewalk peered into the car's windshield, appearing to stare down the occupants inside.

Doors opened. Two figures emerged. The old man gave them each one more hard glare before continuing on his way.

"Nice piece of parkin' there, Sweet Cheeks," Tony said sarcastically. "Nearly took out the town's oldest citizen. Then again, you mighta been doin' him a favor if you had." The old man, hearing Tony's comment, turned back and gave him a harsh scowl, causing Tony to flinch.

"YOU said you did not want to drive today, Tony," Ziva snapped back. "YOU said you were going to enjoy the SCENERY here in the hunterlands!"

"Hinterlands," Tony corrected. "But I bet there's plenty of hunting going on around here. Maybe some of it's even for animals. And I made a critical error, thinking I'd have a day to relax with you at the wheel. Couldn't see a thing with you going 110 all the way here." Sniffing haughtily at the air, Tony frowned at the visage of the town square. "I saw no lands. No hinters, either. Whatever THEY are. Phew! Something stinks. You smell it, Ziva?" Making a 'yuck' face at the odor wafting through the air, Tony issued a few little gagging sounds before fanning the air in front of his nose.

"Are you having second thoughts about your new cologne?" Ziva smirked. Again, Tony scowled, this time at his partner.

"Ah, it's that wry sense of humor of yours that's snagged my heart for the long haul, my ninja," Tony mocked. Quickly, and trying to do so imperceptibly as he hustled down the sidewalk, Tony raised each of his arms and sniffed at the armpits of his expensive suit. Ziva glanced back, saw Tony's move, and snickered. Grimacing, Tony's face turned red with embarrassment. "All clear," Tony snarked, trying to save face.

Ziva, having already located the target of the day's assignment, strode on confidently ahead, paying Tony's explanation little mind. Tony skipped hurriedly down the sidewalk, following her. When they reached Stone's Drugs, the town's pharmacy, Ziva pulled open the door and entered, whipping off her sunglasses. Everyone in the pharmacy turned, hearing the clink of the cowbell attached to the door, and gave both Ziva and Tony a good, long look. Ziva smiled primly at them; Tony sniffed loudly and, frowning, gave the people in the store a straight stare right back.

"Maybe they're not used to seeing people not dressed in overalls. Or people, period," Tony whispered to Ziva, narrowing his eyes at an elderly lady with a bluish-gray beehive hairdo who'd eyeballed him up and down. She made a little "tsk" sound and went back to shopping for skin care products. Tony, feeling as if he'd won the staring contest, snickered. "That's right, Granny. Eyes on that cold cream," he muttered. Then, not seeing Ziva anywhere, Tony grimaced. Finally, he saw her at the back of the store, speaking with the pharmacist. Tony darted to join her.

"...worked here when he was a teenager. Then he signed on with the Navy. Never heard from him after that. Seemed like a good youngster. Can't imagine him gettin' into drugs but I guess you never know about these things," the pharmacist was saying. Ziva nodded politely, listening carefully to the man's speech.

"But he would have known your routine," Ziva explained. "When the store opens and closes, where you keep your supplies, perhaps how to enter the pharmacy when no one is here..."

Now Tony stepped forward, frowning at the pharmacist as he puffed out his chest.

"Tony DiNozzo, Senior Field Agent," he tersely introduced himself, folding his arms. "We're gonna need to interview everyone working here. Also take a look at your customer records, financial files, whatever else we need."

The pharmacist gaped at Tony. Ziva's dark eyes were peering right through him. Tony inhaled deeply and, sensing he'd made a tactical error regarding Ziva's handling of things, grimaced.

"Anything Agent David requests," Tony said nervously, "you just produce it, OK? Thanks." With that, he gave Ziva a little smile, tugged at his tie, turned and headed off to look at the unguent selection in a nearby aisle.

Much later that afternoon, Tony studied Ziva as she silently sipped her coffee while they lunched in the town café.

"Y'know, it's a pretty cut-and-dried case we got here," Tony began. "Our AWOL sailor had a side business going, selling drugs to his shipmates, and when the local supply ran dry he hit up his old stompin' grounds back here on the farm. Broke into the pharmacy, stole what he needed and realized he was gonna be AWOL when he couldn't get back to the base in time so he's just seeing how far he can get before we nail him, selling off his stock as he goes. Not much we really have to..."

Ziva glared at Tony from across the table.

"You do not trust me to handle a case," Ziva said, clearly angry. "You are so intent on having everyone know that you are senior agent that you cannot let me take the lead."

Tony felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. Because everything Ziva said was true. He wanted to deny her charges but couldn't. Still, he turned defensive.

"That's NOT true," Tony shot back, mainly trying to convince himself of his own words. "Ziva, you're a GREAT agent! I know that! I was just letting the guy know he should..."

"... listen to YOU," Ziva finished for him.

"...do what YOU told him!" Tony snapped. He was now furious. At himself — for having started this argument. "I was backin' you UP!"

"YOU were cutting under me!" Ziva retorted.

Tony brought his hands to his head, rubbing his temples. He had undercut Ziva and it was a habit he'd been trying to break. Nevertheless, here they were again, fighting the same old battle.

"You're right," Tony conceded, sighing. "You're right. I undercut you. I shoulda just kept my mouth shut. I've been a step behind all day since we got here. You've had everything under control and I didn't have my head in the game. Par for the course, huh?" Looking miserable, Tony played with his coffee spoon and stared down at the table. He couldn't bring himself to look at Ziva.

Ziva, tired from the long drive, walking around the town conducting interviews with less-than-helpful locals and the spat with Tony, closed her eyes for a minute. She was uncharacteristically exhausted and wanted now only to find an inn and get some sleep. Another long day of investigation awaited her — and Tony — the next day.

"I am tired," Ziva admitted. "We should find somewhere to stay tonight."

"Yeah," Tony sighed, getting up from the table. "There's a little motel down the street. You finish your coffee. I'll go check us in."

Once he had the room keys, Tony returned to the café to rejoin Ziva. But she wasn't there. He called her cellphone and she answered, telling Tony she would meet him at the motel soon. There was one more thing to handle at the pharmacy before it closed for the day.

About 15 minutes later, as Tony lay on the bed staring blankly at the ceiling of the motel room, Ziva knocked at the door and entered, carrying a paper sack. Taking a seat on the bed next to Tony, she stared down tenderly at him. Tony peered up at her, unsure of what to do or say.

"I have a surprise for you," Ziva said, handing Tony the bag. Slowly sitting up, Tony took it and opened it. A shy smile played at his lips. Ziva's dark eyes met his and she grinned.

"For me?" Tony asked, the tension between them now broken. "You shouldn't have."

"We can... enjoy them together," Ziva replied, licking her teeth with her tongue.

"Yeah, I guess so," Tony whispered huskily. "There's enough here for the whole night, you know. We may not get any sleep."

"That is a risk we will just have to take," Ziva answered.

"Guess I'll get this party started then," Tony said, taking off his shirt. Once he'd stripped down to his boxer shorts, he jumped back on the bed and peeped into the sack again. "You really should slip into something more comfortable, Sweet Cheeks, so we can open these and... share the wealth."

Ziva tossed her dark hair back over her shoulder, taking her negligeé from her suitcase. She then smiled as she made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her as she got ready for bed. In a few minutes, she returned, joining Tony on the bed.

"Ladies first," Tony said thickly, opening the bag so that Ziva could remove its contents. Raising an eyebrow at Tony, Ziva removed a small box and opened it.

"Shall I unwrap it for you?" Ziva asked, removing something small from the box.

"Please," Tony breathed.

"Are we sharing this one?" Ziva teased.

"We'll share them all," Tony replied. "Pleasing you pleases me, my ninja."

Now Ziva's lips met Tony's in a heated kiss. Their earlier disagreement was forgotten. They would enjoy the rest of the night together.

"Let me help you with that," Ziva whispered, unwrapping the small object in her hand. She offered it to Tony, who took it and tested it.

"Mmmm..." Tony groaned, sighing with pure ecstasy before placing the little dark chocolate candy half between Ziva's lips. "Nougat."