AN: I said stop flaming, okay! I bet you're all probably old seventy-year olds. (EN: Okay, so everyone who hates your story is a geriatric?) P.S. PORTERSUX YOU'RE A PREP! Oh, yeah, and fangs to Raven for the help. Have fun in England girl!
I looked around in a depressed way. (EN: I look at this story in a depressed way. Everytime I fucking see it.) Suddenly I saw Professor Sinistra. Bloody Mary and Socrates (EN: Sure, fine.). Draco, Vampire and Willow were there to.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD! Sirius, I saw you and Samaro and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snape used to be gothic!" (EN: Sirius wasn't mentioned above. Unless she renamed him Socrates and then forgot a line later?)
"Yeah, I know," Sirius said sadly.
"Oh, hey there, bitch," Professor Trelawney said in an Emo voice drinking some Veritaserum.
"Hi, fucker," I said. (EN: Aren't you a charming little angel?) "Listen, Satan asked me out to a Gothic concert and a movie so I need a sexy new outfit for the date. Also I'm playing in a Gothic band so I need an outfit for that too."
"Oh my Satan!" (Get it? Lol, because she's Gothic.) gasped Bloody Mary. "Want to go to Hot Topic to shop for you're outfit?"
"OH MY FUCKING SATAN! (EN: At least I assume she meant Satan here, as there was an 'S' instead of a 'G'. Knowing here it could have just been a typo though.) Let's have a group cutting session!" said Professor Trelawney. (EN: You're a teacher! You should not be condoning this sort of behaviour!)
"I can't fucking wait for that but we need to get some stuff first," said Willow.
"Yeah, we need some potions for Professor Trelawney so she won't be addicted to Veritaserum any more and also … some love potion for Ebony," Draco said reluctantly (EN: This originally said 'resultantly' and I couldn't decide if it meant reluctantly or resolutely. I went with the one which made the most sense in this senseless conversation.)
"Well we have potions class now," Willow said, "so let's go." (EN: Yes, because they're just going to let you brew love potion because you feel like it.)
We went sexily to Potions class. (EN: I've giving up asking how you can go somewhere sexily. I just imagine them doing the goose waddle from the Aristocats.) But Snape wasn't there. Instead there was … Cornelius Fudge! (EN: Bwahahaha, Cornelio Fuck. Sometimes this story is pure gold.)
"Hey, where the fuck is Dumbledore!" Draco shouted angrily. (EN: In his office, maybe. Snape is the one who's MIA.)
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" shouted Cornelius Fudge. "He is in Azkaban now, with Snape and Lupin. He is old and weak. He has cancer. Now do your work!" (EN: Yes, because Azkaban is totally the place for elderly ill people. I bet Dementors have the best bedside manner.)
My friends and I talked angrily.
"Can you BELIEVE Snape used to be Gothic!" Vampire asked, surprised. (EN: Honestly, I'm not that surprised at all.)
"THAT'S IT!" Cornelius Fudge shouted angrily. "I'M GETTING PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE!"(EN: Bit harsh, they were only talking for a few seconds.)
He stomped out angrily.
My friends and I began talking again. I began to drink some blood mixed with beer. Suddenly I saw Hagrid in the cupboard. (EN: … the fuck? And for future reference, I doubt alcohol is sanctioned by the school.)
"WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He was wearing tons of eye-liner and he looked sexier than ever. Suddenly …"HARGRID WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" he shouted.
I looked around … Hagrid was putting something in my glass of blood! (EN: I thought he was in the cupboard? Does she sit next to it or something? Because then you wouldn't be able to open the cupboard door … Never mind I can't believe I'm trying to apply logic to My Immortal.) Draco and Vampire started to beat him up sexily. (EN: Yes, because beating the shit out of someone is the next best thing to sex.)
"God, you are such a poser!" I shouted at Hagrid. Suddenly I looked at what he was putting in the blood. It was … Amnesia Potion! (EN: Dastardly Bastard. Not giving any to me.)
EN: A million apologies for this being so late. My motivation was so subzero for this it wasn't even funny. Light's right, I suck. But hey! It's here now.