Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine - a massive and thankful shout out to Crash88, Iste, anon, Sarah, sarahmichellegellarfan1, cecld16, guest, Ayine, Kayela-Brown-1228, Tazytara, nogistiles and M for reviewing you all rock, love you all, hope u like this chappie x

"You have got to be fucking kidding me" was the first thing she exclaimed to her newly revived-supposed to be dead cousin. Not, 'oh my god, Derek, I was so worried' or 'thank god you're alive', not even a hug or smile, no, she was damn well shouting at him, you know why? Because all that time she and Scott and the rest of them thought he was fucking dead, all that time Scott was feeling guilty and almost killed himself, all that time she felt sick to the stomach at the thought of Derek's broken and battered body at the bottom of the escalator, all that fucking time he was alive and well but too busy thinking with his dick instead of his brain.

"Kayla" Derek sounded surprised at her sudden appearance, like wow, it wasn't like she lived here or anything, if anyone should be shocked it should be her - he was the one that was supposed to be dead but was no doubt naked in bed next to some random brunette girl, seriously Der? He could've called first before dropping his pants, "what are you doing here?"

"Me?" She exclaimed as he sat up and the brunette woman sprung up, holding the covers up to her chest, "me? You're supposed to be dead and you're questioning why I'm coming home?" She demanded wildly, relief being crushed by the anger and annoyance at Derek, "and who the holy hell is that?"

Medium length dark brown hair was blown away from the woman's face to reveal someone very familiar... Too damn familiar and Kayla gaped from the bottom of the steps, her eyes widening.

"Uh... Hi Kayla" her voice was nervous and embarrassed and far too sweet for her own good, "how are you... How are you doing?"

Compromising situation much?

"Well I would be a lot better if I didn't just see my dead cousin in bed with my english teacher" Kayla muttered sarcastically, "oh no wait, sorry, my mistake, you're not dead" she smirked sardonically, her glare clearing unamused as it fixed on Derek's shamed green gaze, "my bad, you see the memo I got was you fell and your mutilated body was bent and contorted and mangled, not the memo where you got all up in that"

"I meant to call" Derek said and he looked genuinely sorry, his expression contorted into an apology as Miss Blake tried to stand up whilst wrapping the White sheet around her body, her neck and cheeks flushing, "I just got a bit... Preoccupied"

"Clearly" Kayla couldn't keep the distaste out of her monotone voice as she crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes narrowing as Derek just let out a small shrug at her and she rolled her eyes - un-fucking-believable.

Miss Blake was slowly turning around in a circle, picking up her stray clothes from the room while Derek and Kayla had a staring competition, cool pale green clashing with infuriated emerald, neither backing down from the other. While Derek was trying to get Kayla to drop this and to obviously not cause a scene in front of his new 'soulmate' 'girlfriend' 'fucking buddy', whatever, she wasn't about to let him get off so easy, no way in hell. While they were going through shit, worrying over him and feeling like crap because he had 'died' he was too 'busy' getting it on with a stranger rather than sparing thirty seconds to make a phone call, hell even a fucking voicemail would've been better than 'this'.

"Uh... I can't find my..." Miss Blake trailed off in embarrassment, "my..."

"Underwear?" Kayla guessed, breaking Derek's stare and cocking an eyebrow at her english teacher who was currently naked in her house... Loft, whatever, as she took a couple of steps forward to pick up the skimpy black lace with her two fingers and hold them up in front of her with a forced sarcastic smile.

Miss Blake looked absolutely mortified by this point whilst Derek just winced, pulling on his pair of black jeans and shimmying them on, "Um... That's-that's them"

She started to walk forward, arms full of clothes but bare feet getting tangled in the long white sheet and she almost fell flat on her face and normally Kayla would help, okay not normally, sometimes, but she was pissed and didn't have the energy to be polite and gracious to their house guest. But she made it, make up slightly smudged and hair like a rats nest, gingerly taking back the underwear - jesus woman just take the damn thong, they're yours - and sending Kayla a sheepish smile.

"Thank you"

Kayla offered no words, just silence. Complete and utter unamused silence. God, right now she felt like such a disapproving parent it was unreal.

"Um... I'll just go... Then..."

"Bye now" Kayla smiled sarcastically, plastering a fake smile over her face.

"You don't have to go-"

"Yes she does" Kayla interrupted Derek, shooting him a glance, "you and me, dear cousin, are no doubt going to argue and the last thing we need is a referee"

"No, no it's okay" she smiled at Derek, "I'll see you around, and Kayla-" her smile was somehow dazzling and sheepish all at the same time, "-I'll see you in English"

"I think I've seen enough of you to last me all the way to senior year" Kayla's voice was clipped and frustrated, more so at Derek than Miss Blake, but unfortunately whoever was within a thirty foot radius of her tended to get the brunt of her anger.

The teachers' cheeks darkened, "... Right"

She soon scuttled away though and Kayla resisted an eye roll and a biting comment as she heard her trip on the steps, stuttering out an apology and trying to laugh it off before the big metal door was scraped back across, closing them in. Keeping the dogs guarded and in control. Theoretically.

"Okay, I know you're mad-"

"I'm not mad" she exclaimed once the coast was clear and they could speak probably, well shout would be more accurate, "I'm happy Derek, Im really fucking happy" His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, "then why are you shou-"

"Because you're an asshole" she stated, her jaw clenching, "I'm happy you're alive but pissed you're not dead"

The smallest of smiles quirked at his lips, "that makes no sense Kay"

"It makes perfect sense" she insisted, "of course I'm happy you're alive... Thinking you were... Thinking you were d-dead-" she shivered remembering that, remembering how she held out hope but a small part of her believed he really was gone, that she would never speak to him again, "-it was... Awful... I thought I wouldn't...I thought I lost-" she met his gaze and her eyes hardened when she realised she was getting soft, "Derek Hale you're a fucking asshole" she stated, her chin jutting out in defiance, "you're the biggest ass and the worst hole ever for lying..."

And the idiot actually laughed at that.

"Don't laugh" she shrieked, "this isn't funny Der... I thought I lost you" she held back her tears at that as he slowly moved forward, wearing nothing but a pair of black jeans, "and all that time we were loosing our shit you were with MISS BLAKE?"

"Jennifer" Derek automatically corrected and her gaze intensified, fire building in her stomach and she was sure ready to blow.

"Does she charge for tutor lessons?" She snarked, her eyes narrowing.

"No she... She helped me... Helped me to heal" Derek glanced down at his bare chest where there was hardly even a scar left, the odd purple or reddened skin but other than that he looked in perfect health condition, "she helped me-"

"-Get your rocks off" she snarked, finishing his sentence for him but her bitterness was slowly ebbing away, her anger diminishing because Derek wasn't dead, he was alive... Her cousin was alive and well and he was here. With her. He wasn't dead because Derek hale didn't die.

Derek just sighed at her comment, "I am sorry I didn't call, I really am" he apologised, "I should've let you known I was alright"

"And Scott" Kayla added quietly, her rigid posture loosening, muscles unclenching, "Scott was blaming himself"

"It wasn't his fault"

"I know that, everyone else knew that, he didn't" she shook her head sadly, "let's just say there was gasoline and flares involved and poor Scottie almost went up like a Fourth of July firework"

"He what?" Panic seeped into Derek's voice, "what happened?"

"Blame the darach" Kayla explained, "there was mistletoe in Coach's whistle on the way to the meet, only we didn't get to the meet we got stuck in this creepy ass motel and then all the werewolves, including myself, tried to kill ourselves, self blame, guilt, all that crap"

"Wait... What meet?" Derek asked, his green eyes glazing over.

"Seriously?" She exclaimed, "you signed my parental/guardian slip" she added, shaking her head at her cousin, "never mind, it was just a meet okay? Only it wasn't a meet because we never actually got to the actual meet and-you know what, never mind, I can't be bothered explaining... Get Stiles or Isaac to fill you in"

"... Stiles? You're talking to him now?"

Shit.

"No" she lied, shaking her head, "it was just an-just an example, jeez" she brushed past him so she could look out the open window, the sun already high in the sky, "and Uh... Ethan told us something... On the bus"

"What did he say?"

Kayla gulped, remembering Ethan's words as clear as a bell just as the bus was about to leave and if it wasn't war before then it certainly was now.

She turned back around to face him, the sun hitting her back, "he said... Deucalion wants you in his pack" this news was not new, though the next bit certainly was, "he wants you to... To join, like a replacement of the one that died, most likely by killing your old pack or else bitch Kali will come and kill you" Derek's eyes widened slightly, the only giveaway to any emotion other than a stoic face, "so safe to say we're totally screwed"

"Not quite screwed yet" Derek murmured softly, "they under estimate us"

"Not that I'm all for a good ass kicking... But they're alphas... All of them" Kayla shrugged, "we have one alpha and a handful of teenage werewolves"

"Now you're under estimating us" Derek smirked.

"I'm being logical" she explained, "I dunno, I just... Have this feeling that not everyone will make it out of this alive, cynical I know but I can't help what I feel"

"No ones dying, not on my watch"

Kayla smiled at Derek's protectiveness, a warm feeling spreading through her veins, "optimism, not really your thing Der, what happened to your broody cold exterior?"

He sent her a playful fake glare, "stop insulting me"

"If getting laid makes you this chipper then please do it all the bloody time, go at it like rabbits, scream the place down for all I care if it makes you smile"

"Stop"

"But miss Blake? Really? Isn't she a bit..." He cocked an eyebrow, "not your type, I mean unless she's evil, then she really is your type"

"Are you done?"

"Not in the slightest" she grinned, "though if you start showing up during class time and sending her cheesy flowers or crap like that I really would have to draw the line" she teased, "I can't be seen being related to a sap, soz mate"

He just shook his head playfully, a small smile gracing his lips, "yeah, I missed you too Kay"

She moved forward slowly, her wide smile being replaced by a smaller genuine one - yes, they didn't have the most normal or practical relationship, but she loved him, she loved her cousin, and the thought of him dying was unbearable. It was like getting a blade to the gut and she hated that feeling. She had lost too many people and she was not loosing Derek. Not ever.

"I missed you too" she said quietly as they both stood opposite each other, neither daring to make the first move until a grin broke over her face and she slammed into his bare chest, her arms wrapping around his torso as she gave him a big ole squeeze, and for a few seconds savouring the fact that they could be normal for a few rare blissful moments.

However she pulled back, her nose scrunching up, playfully screwing her face up as her senses went like super sensitive for some weird reason, "and dude please, I'm begging you, go take a shower, you stink of sex"

"I do not" he exclaimed affronted, shaking his head.

"Do so"

"Do not"

"Do so"

"No I don't"

"Oh my god, it's all over you like she no doubt was last night" he gaped slightly as she grinned widely, "ass to the shower, now"

"Last time I checked I was the responsible guardian" he grumbled, rolling his eyes but brushed past her, trudging towards the spiral staircase.

"Try saying that when you're not acting like a petulant child" she laughed quietly to herself as he shot her a playful glare over his shoulder, "and Derek" she called out, bending down to pick up his towel from the foot of the bed, "you'll need this"

"Okay mom" he murmured under his breath as he held out his hands for the towel that she threw and yeah, so what, they didn't exactly have a convention cousin-cousin relationship - they would argue, bicker, snark at each other, literally try and kill each other but when it was good they were good. They made a good team, they could understand each other, they were a formidable force to be reckoned with, something the alpha pack would find out very very soon.

"A what? A Huh?" Kayla asked in confusion as she shared a sideways glance with Lydia, "a whatty?"

"Ignis aurum probat" Deaton replied patiently from the back room off his clinic, Kayla and Lydia on one side of the examination table and Deaton on the other, "it means Fire tests gold, at least the literal meaning"

"... Okay, that's nice... You know Latin... And..."

"Ignis aurum probat, miseria fortes homines" Lydia spoke up fluently, the Latin just rolling off her tongue as she stared at Kayla, "it's about tempering gold, the painful process the ore must go through to become pure strong gold"

"Meaning, in literal terms, the struggles and quests a person must go through to become strong, to live up to their full potential" Deaton explained further, "in the supernatural world and in the supernatural sense we call that a transition, something the both of you are going through"

Kayla gulped as Lydia caught her gaze again, "so how does that... Why can we sense each other? How long will it last? What if-"

"It's not something that just happens for no reason" Deaton told then, "it's rare but very similar to the relationship between an alpha and a werewolf"

"But Kayla and I aren't werewolves" Lydia muttered, "we're... Something else"

"Similar, not absolute" Deaton smiled lightly, "supernatural creatures like werewolves are on the same, how can I explain this... Frequency... Wavelength, they're similar creatures, like felines or k9's" he nodded at the two of them, "maybe you two are from the same-"

"-freaky ass group of unnatural creatures?" Kayla asked bluntly, her voice dripping in distaste.

"If that's the way you want to phrase it, then yes" Deatons eyes were keen and interested as he stared between the two of them, "may I see your hands?"

Kayla met Lydia's guarded gaze as they turned their heads to each other at the same time - connection or no connection, stupid gold and fire or whatever the fuck that analogy was supposed to mean, they were in sync. Like twins.

Kayla nodded, holding out her hand first as she felt the buzz in the base of her stomach, Lydia's apprehension, which was perfectly understandable - she was the newest to this whole crap fest, she never really knew Deaton, any feelings of nervousness or fear was perfectly understandable.

Lydia followed her lead, placing her hand in front of her, palm up, for Deaton to inspect or hold or whatever the fuck he was going to do but all he did was gently place their hands together, one on top of the other.

To their confused stares he explained, "I'm looking for a spark, like electricity"

"And you'll find that by us holding hands?" Lydia asked disbelieving.

Kayla leaned to the side, biting back a smile as Deaton ignored her and focused on their clasped hands, "maybe it's the sexual tension, it'll surely be popping by now"

Lydia's lips quirked as she elbowed her playfully, "down girl"

"I'm just saying... It makes sense" she playfully drawled out, "me, a crazy wild sex creature, you a beautiful young woman... I've almost made out with Scott, actually did with Allison, done that with Isaac several times and screwed Stiles like, wow, a lot of times, you're the only name not crossed off my list" she joked, calming Lydia down and joking with her as Deaton did his thing and it worked - Lydia smiled.

"Patience Kayla" Lydia laughed lightly, "save the best for last"

"Oh trust me, I am"

"You're such a flirt"

"You love it really"

Lydia puckered her lips but the smile gave away her amusement.

Overhead the light started flickering and out of natural instinct Kayla tightened her hand around Lydia's who squeezed back just as hard before the lights returned to normal.

"... A spark" Deaton nodded his head, agreeing with what he said, "both of you have been through a lot, you've both changed, there's been a lot of pain but you both are still here, still fighting" he talked, letting go of their hands but Lydia's grip just tightened around her fingers, like she was looking for the reassurance, "I can't say for definite until we find out what you are Lydia but I think... I think-" he looked at Kayla dead in the eye, "almas entrelazadas"

"You speak Spanish too?" Lydia asked and it was rare but Lydia actually sounded amazed and in awe, "Kayla what does that mean?"

She felt herself frowning, "you think?" She asked Deaton, far past confused by this point.

"In the supernatural aura sense, yes"

"Kayla, what are you both talking about?"

She looked down at her friend, shrugging a shoulder, "we should've made out a long time ago" she smirked, "the translation is intertwined souls... I remember my dad... Well uncle technically but let's stick with dad, he was talking about it. It's like... Like two supernatural people they can... They can draw strength from each other, they can... I dunno, it's hard to explain, but they-"

"-Tether each other" Deaton nodded, "people say a lot about romantic relationships but platonic relationships are just as important, if not just as" he shrugged lightly, "this connection... It'll only be snuffed out should one of you die"

Lydia's eyes widened at that but Kayla just turned to the side and gave her a smirk, "told you we should've made out"

Kayla would like to say she was up bright and fresh Monday morning with a wide smile and a happy go lucky attitude but nope, no way, that was not the way it worked. She woke up tireder than when she went to bed, a headache and a grumpy face so bad people actually skirted around her. At least until she felt a strong hand curl around her upper arm and pull her backwards and she let out the smallest sounds of surprise, her arms flailing but the next thing she knew she was in darkness.

Did she just get knocked out?

No, wait, no... She was conscious but the musky smell of dust and stinging smell of chemicals told she she was in the janitors closet.

"Sorry" a voice whispered huskily in her ear from behind and she held back a smirk, "didn't mean to scare you" but she could hear the grin his voice as he bent down to kiss her neck, his hands landing on her hips and tugging her back so she was flush against her body.

"No, you totally did" she laughed quietly, "and well done, you got one up on me"

"Takes a lot to do that" he mumbled, his lips still skimming across her bare skin that the tank top showed and she unconsciously felt herself shiver against him, a daze falling over her, "one to me"

She smirked at that and suddenly turned around in his arms much to his surprise, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him forward so his lips were just millimetres from hers, her warm breath slowly escaping her slightly parted lips which, in turn, made his tongue dart out to wetten his own.

"Didn't realise we were keeping count" she smirked and felt how he kept inching his body forward to try and kiss her, his brown gaze focused on her lips.

"I have five minutes before practice... We can't speak in public so, hey ho, janitors closet" in the dim light she could hardly see him, just the faint outline of his body in front of her and the way his eyes dazzled but that was about it, "cliche I know"

"Super cliche" she smirked, "I kinda missed you this weekend"

His hands slipped into the back pocket of her shorts, skimming his hands down to pull her forward, their legs intertwining, "look whose being cliche and gooey now?"

"That was not cliche or gooey-" okay it kinda was, she was not admitting that though, "-it was a statement"

She saw how his mouth split wide open into a grin, his teeth glinting down at her, "sure Kaylz"

"You calling me a liar?" She joked as she fisted the top of his shirt, pressing herself against him and smelling the faint tinge of cologne that, thank god, wasn't that stuff he wore to the meet... It was different, slightly sweeter and less strong but it still didn't make her feel too good but she'd be damned if she let a fucking stomach bug ruin these few and far between moments she could catch with Stiles without everyone knowing. Not over a bottle of bloody cologne.

Stiles leaned down, his forehead touching hers as the side of his nose brushed against hers, "well, your nose is growing pinocchio so you must be"

"Dork" she laughed, fists clenching around the shirt material, "and now we only have three minutes forty one seconds, you better make it worth my time Stilinski"

His lips touched hers with the faintest of pressure, just enough so she knew he was there, his slightly uneven breathing warming her lips, "now we all know I can do that" and her chuckle was cut off by his whirlwind kiss.

His hands, still in the back pocket of her shorts, spun her around so she was pressed back against the shelves, knocking over a few cleaning products that they paid no heed to as they clattered down around them - sneaking around was annoying and infuriating and dangerous but it gave them a thrill, a new angle to their relationship - it was new, and that was kind of exciting, it made it more adventurous. Knowing they could get caught at any time just added to the thrill. It made their hearts pump drastically - the tension and need would just continue to build up until they could do, well, this. And this was fucking amazing.

She tried to keep quiet as he moved down, lips moulding around the sensitive skin on her neck, still caressing the bare skin on her hips and sides and she had to physically bite her lip to keep silent, her back arching.

"Two minutes fifty six seconds" she gasped, breath hitching in the back of her throat, "oh fuck..."

He pulled back, breathless, "I'm honestly surprised... I didn't expect this reaction"

She bit her lip, one hand running through his gelled hair and messing it up even more so it stuck up every which way, her skin flushing at the look of his red and wet lips in the dark cramped room, "why?"

"I kinda thought you would be biting my head off"

She frowned, "why would I bite your head off for doing that? I love that, that is pretty damn good"

He smiled, "at this time of the month you always get cranky, it's a... Pleasant surprise"

Was he fucking high or was she going crazy?

"This time of the month?"

"Yeah, your whole PMS-I'm going to kill you all, no wait, I want cookies and ice cream-phase" he laughed, "you're adapting I see"

"Uhhhh... Yeah..." She muttered quietly, eyes glazing over at his words, "... Right..."

"... You okay?" He asked, frowning at her, "you're zoning"

You're damn right she was zoning. Panic seeped into her veins, dates swirling around in her head. No that wasn't right, was it? No... No it couldn't be... Surely... No, last time she was PMSing was... Was... Shit when was it? Last month surely, right? No, month before? Oh god... This month?

Stiles was right, by all accounts she should be tearing off people heads not making out with people in the janitors closet. What the fuck?

"Kayla... Kaylz, hey Kaylz you okay?" She gulped back her whirlwind of emotions all battling each other inside her head and stared up at him - it was nothing, it was just complications or shit, she didn't know, but it wasn't that, it was impossible.

"... Yeah... Yeah, sure" she lied as smoothly as she could though her voice wavered slightly, "yeah sorry... Just realised I have an art project due for tomorrow... I Uh, better go"

He didn't look like he believed her, "an art project? What for?"

"Art" she answered in a Duh voice, "super big thing, worth like half my grade... Better go" she pulled away from him, trying for a convincing smile, "um... It's no big deal, well it is a big deal, obviously, art... And school y know, I'll just... Yeah..."

She went to open the door but he gently grasped her arm, frowning in confusion, "um... Are you sure everything's okay... I mean... Did I say something?"

"No" yes, eye opener much, "no, nah... Heh... I just... Art" she couldn't think right now, her brain jumbled, "art... In the art room... I'll just... Go and do-do art"

"Kaylz-"

"You better wait a few minutes" she managed to get out through a closed and croaky throat, "lowers suspicions and Uh... I'll... See you around... I guess..."

"Kaylz-"

She was out the door next second, shutting it behind her and leaning on it, blowing out a long deep breath.

No way, no fucking way. Impossible. Unlikely. Never going to happen. Nu Uh. You're just over thinking Kayla that's all, over thinking. You're fine.

The same dates were still twirling around in her head, stabbing her like little needle pricks.

"... Oh shit"

A quick five minute drive to the pharmacy, in which the snotty old woman gave her a highly disapproving look, staring at her like she committed the worst crime known to man and if it wasn't due the fact she was going out of her freaking mind then she would've punched the woman. Elderly or not. Then a freak out in the car and then another five minute drive back to the school and yes, you guessed it, another freak out.

She had every right to fucking freak out okay?

She was zig zagging down the empty corridors, class having already begun, so she knew it would be free and quiet, bar the few people making excuses to leave to get a drink or go to the bathroom but she could deal with them, she had one helluva glare but who she didn't expect to run into was her best friends just around the corner from the bathrooms.

"Uh... Yeah, look, I would stay and chat but-"

"Where are you going?" Lydia asked nervously, her eyes bright and wide, "I mean... Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Aren't you?" She shot back before shaking her head, "I gotta dash guys, sorry-"

"Kayla wait" Allison exclaimed and Kayla sighed loudly but turned around and was slightly shocked by how fearful and nervous her brown gaze was, "... We Uh... We have to tell you something"

"Can't it wait?" Kayla asked desperately and the panic was now full on absolute, so much in fact she felt her hands shaking, each heart beat hammering in her ears so it drowned out most noises, "I need to... Do something"

"No it can't" Allison shook her head, "we should've told you sooner but... Well-"

"I didn't want to" Lydia stepped forward, shame written all over her features, "I was scared how you would react... After- after feeling what you felt I thought I was protecting you... But I wasn't, I was putting you in danger" Lydia rook another step forward as Kayla literally bounced on the balls of her feet, her chest constricting to just get to the damn bathroom and let those three hellish minutes be over, "and I really hope you don't have a freak out over this-"

"Lydia, I'm already having a freak out okay? Anything you could say right now would be the less freak out-ish thing I've ever... Uh..." Lydia pulled a thin narrow rectangular box from her bag, holding it out to her gingerly, "um..."

"It could be nothing" Allison shrugged, always looking on the bright side of things, "it could just be a false alarm"

"Humour us" Lydia basically pleaded, "put our minds at rest"

She was too shocked to say anything - how in gods name did Lydia and Allison come to the same conclusion as her? As far as she knew there was no freaky friday shit going on here.

"Uh... Um, I-" she swallowed nervously, her hand slowly reaching into her bag and pulling out the same small cardboard box, her stomach churning as her friends' eyes widened in astonishment, "how did you know?"

"... Oh" Lydia let out an uncomfortable chuckle, her face going pale, "um... April fools" she smiled widely, "got you good this time, now if you don't mind we'll just-"

"No" Kayla stated, shaking her head and grabbing Lydia's arm before she could walk away, "no, you're not going anywhere" if the panic wasn't high before then it certainly was now, "How. Did. You. Know?"

Lydia's green stare got nervous, really nervous, her bottom rolling in-between her teeth as she winced and all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place at Allison's guilty look.

"You knew?" Kayla asked, "both of you knew this entire time and you didn't think you should, I dunno, tell your best friend?"

Lydia just closed her eyes briefly, like her words physically hurt her, "it was hard to Kayla... We didn't know how you would react-"

"A hell of a lot better than I am right now" she exclaimed, "Jesus guys-"

"We're sorry Kayla, we really are" Allison stepped forward next to Lydia, shaking her head, "but you know now-"

"I don't know, hence the freaking test"

"Oh please, you don't need a test to know" Lydia spoke up, "look at yourself and think Kay, really think"

"I... I don't wanna think" she stated, shaking her head, "I Just wanna know"

"Okay then" Lydia smiled, taking her reluctant hand, "then let's know"

She snatched her hand back, her glare intensifying, "I can't believe you didn't tell me... My best friend didn't tell me" Lydia's soft eyes turned guilt ridden, a sad frown now etched onto her face, "what the hell Lyds?"

"I... I'm sorry" and in all fairness she really did, sound sorry that was, "Kayla... I am, but I can't take it back... All I can do is buy a stupid test and hope this is all just one big mistake"

"You and me both" Kayla mumbled, tears blurring her eyesight as Lydia reached for her hand again but this time she didn't snatch it back, she just allowed Lydia's small warm hand to clasp hers, offering her silent support.

"Come on then, we'll get it over and done with... Like ripping off a bandaid"

Kayla sniffed, allowing Lydia to tug her towards the bathroom, "ripping off a bandaid hurts though... And I'm still pissed"

"Naturally" Allison tried to inject a little humour as they entered the empty bathroom, four stalls on each side, the plain grey walls and white ceiling felt like they were closing in on her, suffocating her, crushing her.

"So, here you go" Lydia handed her the other box, even though Kayla has already bought one, and as she sent she friend a 'what the hell' stare, Lydia just shrugged, "what? Pee on two, two is more reliable"

"I don't wanna 'pee on two', I don't wanna pee on any" but she grabbed the box anyway, dumping her bag to the tiled floor, "guys what am I... Oh my god... Is this actually happening right now?"

"Kayla, breathe" Allison advised, placing her hands on her shoulders, "don't panic"

"Breathe? Don't panic? Don't panic? How the fuck can I not panic?!" She exclaimed widely, a hot flush heating up her skin making it go all sticky and clammy, "oh my god... Oh my fucking God..."

"Kayla, snap out of it" Lydia stepped up next to Allison, "you can't have a melt down now"

"Don't tell me not to have a meltdown, I may or may not be pregnant, I can have as many meltdowns as I fucking like"

"Breathe" Lydia insisted, "just breathe...and think, the sooner you find out the better you'll feel"

"That depends on the result doesn't it?" She asked quietly and Kayla saw, in their eyes, the result already, it was as clear as day, "I can't do this... I can't go through this again I just... I just can't"

"You have us this time" Allison smile was small but genuine, showing off some slight dimples.

"Exactly" Lydia agreed, nodding her head enthusiastically, no doubt to stop Kayla having a mp breakdown, "we're your rocks remember?"

She was almost crying. The stress, the panic, the whole idea of it, it scared her half to death. It made her whole body buzz and for grief to churn in her stomach. She wasn't just scared... She was petrified.

"... O-Okay" she mumbled, sniffing back the tears and nodding, "okay Uh... Yeah" she had to do it now, she was here and she had to know, for better or worse, "I'll just... Go..."

"Make sure you pee on them properly" Lydia advised in such a Lydia like fashion as Kayla shut the door, "and have good aim as well otherwise it won't work"

"Lydia, I know" Kayla's voice was strained and tired and slightly shaky.

"Good... Good okay... And make sure it's the right way round too"

God, Lydia sounded either like her own personal coach or a nervous father.

"Lydia... I know"

"Okay... And-"

"Lydia" Kayla exclaimed from inside the stall, "I know how to do a fricking pregnancy test, I've done them before remember?"

Now that kept them quiet. She spent a bit of time preparing herself, calming down her heart rate so her chest wouldn't split open, her trembling hands opening the packaging, the boxes almost slipping from her fingers.

Showtime.

She felt like she was auditioning for a part in a play she didn't want. The audiences beady glares of ruthlessness and accusation, their criticism, the fact she was on a podium for everyone to see. No, she wasn't just freaking out... She was panicking. She was on the verge of having a panic attack.

So when she emerged from the stall a few minutes later, both Lydia and Allison were worried by how pale she was and how her eyes had suddenly gotten hollow, ageing her about ten years in the space of ten seconds.

"... You done?"

Kayla nodded at Lydia, holding the two tests in her hand, "uh huh... Just like that"

Allison was on one side, Lydia the other, "are you okay?" Ally asked her softly, "I know this has to be a shock to the system"

"... No" she answered truthfully, shaking her head, "no because this wasn't supposed to happen"

Lydia touched her arm gingerly, sending her a small smile, "and you're sure you never missed a day of the pill?"

"No" she said quietly, rubbing at her eyes tiredly, "I mean yes... Yes I know I never missed a day, I tick off all the days"

"... These things just happen I guess" Allison said quietly.

"No... No not twice... Something is messing with me, something is punishing me" Kayla muttered, holding back the sob in the back of her throat, "for everything that I've done"

"How is this punishing you?" Allison was soft spoken, confusion laced through her voice.

"You won't understand and I hope you never do but... Loosing Mia..." She stopped, breath hitching as white hot pain seared across her chest, her windpipe constricting, "I would take anything over that pain, anything. Feeling your baby... This... This little life inside you, feeling her growing and getting bigger... Each kick is like everything good in the world but better and...and knowing that-" her voice cracked painfully, her throat aching, "knowing that at the end of it it won't last... I just... I can't go through that again" she shook her head quickly, "I can't, it'll kill me"

"Hey... Hey shhhh" Allison soothed gently, rubbing her back, "is that what you're worried about? That you'll lose it?"

"I lose everything else" her voice was pained and weak, "and a baby they're... They're so small... They can't protect themselves..." She sniffed, "I don't want a baby because I know that, in the end... They'll be nothing to love except a plot and a gravestone"

"That won't happen" Lydia vowed determinedly, "we won't let it"

She met Lydia's stare, the perfect green glassy gaze that penetrated right through her - she trusted Lydia, she did, she trusted her with her life but not with this. This was her punishment for everything she had done. Love people, fall in love with something growing inside her and then for it all to be taken away. She appeared strong, she was strong, but everyone had a breaking point and this was hers.

Kayla Hale, the girl who hates babysitting and thinks all babies are aliens, the same girl who deliberately distanced herself from kids because, ew, who the hell would want one of those, that girl had only one problem with them and that was she loved them too damn much.

"Um..." Lydia gulped as she glanced down at Kayla's hands, "Kayla... That's been three minutes"

Time moved so fast yet so slow. Her chest constricted, windpipe felt like it was getting skewered, her whole body tingled. She wanted to not know, to pretend like this wasn't happening, she wanted rid of the feelings of love already blossoming in her chest. She didn't want any of it, she couldn't deal with it. Not again, not after Mia. Never again was she having kids, not when she's twenty, thirty or even forty. That was the deal she agreed with herself because the pain of loosing them was too much. It was soul crushing, yet here she was, two years later in the same position.

She raised her hands, stomach sinking, a cold chill settling owe her body as two little plus signs shone up at her, blinding her. How could something as simple as a little plastic stick cause so much turmoil?

Her friends guessed by the look on her face.

"... I'm sorry Kayla"

She hardly heard it. The vulnerable loving feeling was already content and settled in her chest, making its home. People accused her of being heartless but maybe her problem was too much heart, maybe she just cared too much.

"What are you going to do about Sties?" Lydia asked her gently, "I know he can be a bit oblivious but even he will know when you start waddling around like Juno... Kayla... Kay..."

Stiles... Oh god...

A million thoughts raced through her mind. Stiles. Stiles. Stiles. This was her fault, she didn't know exactly how she got pregnant but it was her responsibility not to and she did. Stiles didn't ask for this, he most likely wouldn't want this and now she had to tell him there was a possibility he could be a dad, juggling lacrosse practice with bottle feeds.

"Stiles... Oh god..." She held back the tears, "he's going to freak"

"He won't freak"

"He'll freak" Kayla insisted, "he'll go all stuttery and blushy and panicky and he'll hate me... He'll hate me"

"He won't hate you"

"I Uh... I cant- can't do this right now" she grabbed her bag off the floor, stuffing the tests in haphazardly, "I can't think about this"

If she thought about it it would make it real. Even realer even. The love and care she had carried on expanding like a never ending blow up balloon and it was scary, no scrap that it was terrifying. She couldn't do this because she couldn't be a mom... She wasn't good enough only now she had to be. She didn't have a choice.

"Kayla wait-"

But she was out the door in a matter of seconds, panic settling over her chest as she struggled for breath. The panic wasn't the worst though, it was the terror, the guilt, the fear. Even the love was scary. Knowing how much she loved Mia only for that to be torn away from her... She couldn't face that again, she wasn't being dramatic before... It would kill her, it would destroy her.

"Now... That's certainly an interesting twist" and she jumped, the tears drying on her cheeks as Brian stood directly behind her, a sadistic smile pulling at his lips, "little baby Stilinski... I wonder if I should knit a pink or blue hat, hmmmmm, I don't know... What do you think?"

She stepped back, putting as much distance between them as possible, "I don't know what you're taking about"

Her lie was ineffective.

Brian's smirk was playful but deadly, "don't insult my intelligence Hale... Or my hearing" a small laugh broke free, "this does change everything though"

She stayed silent but unconsciously, unaware she was doing it, an arm was laid across her stomach for protection.

"Don't get too attached though Hale" Brian grinned, "because it would be just awful if something were to happen, hm?"

She could've argued, she could've fought, she could've kicked his ass but instead she did the sensible and grown up thing and walked away, she did the responsible thing to protect herself... For now.

A)n) muhahahahahahahaha if u think this will end happy ur severely mistaken but awwww lydia baby and makeout janitors closets woo hoop but pleas please review and I will see you next chapter x