So this chapter wasn't what I'd originally written but I had a random ass dream and this is the outcome of the story's new direction... Seraphina will be making an appearance soon in all her unhinged glory. A main character will die. I'll probably get flames for it but meh. Last part of this chapter is a bit... I dunno. I'm not thrilled about it but it's late and I have work in the morning :/
Anywho, sorry for the lack of updates... New job, catching up on study, life in general, insert other excuses here etc etc
I don't own any part of Fairy Tail. Hiro Mashima is the evil genius behind my obsession with FT fanfics *shakes fist at him*. The manga has me on edge atm. Anyone else having that issue?!
Chapter 38. El Presidente Lucy
Makarov was a man of many plans.
Many of them weren't really well thought out, nor ethical, but this newest idea definitely surpassed the skimpy bikini competition he'd had the wisdom to hold during the past summer when he'd nearly died of a nose bleed four women in.
This idea was twisted and kind of cruel; it had all the ingredients for an entertaining afternoon for the newest Dragon Slayer of Fairy Tail. He deserved some fun after spending the morning barely concealing his amusement about an incredibly hung over Lucy, who was convinced she was dying, until the ice prick had turned up with a revolting green smoothie the devil woman had whipped up.
And now shit's getting weird, the Poison Dragon Slayer sighed to himself as an image of Erza Scarlett in a string bikini invaded his brain. He couldn't deny that the red head was hot, but she was also bat shit fucking crazy and that was something he would never be stupid enough to touch. And she kinda scares the shit outta me.
"Your Guild master is one fucked up unit," Erik noted with a wince as he struggled to force the rapid fire contents of Makarov's bikini wank bank out of reach of his soul hearing... After a quick scan to make sure Lucy wasn't featured in any of them, of course.
"He's your guild master now too, you know," his gorgeous blonde mate reminded him with an angelic giggle, not noticing the giant sweat drop that appeared on Cobra's face.
"Not by choice," he muttered, turning his attention back to the glass of bleach and beer in front of him.
"Listen up, brats! I have an announcement to make!" the aforementioned pervert screamed as he mounted the bar.
What did I miss? Amalie asked as she flopped onto the bench beside Erik. The stripper slid into the seat beside her, predictably shirtless and covered intimately in the Caros princess' scent.
The Poison Slayer leered at the raven haired Ice Make mage, who studiously ignored him, over Amalie's fairy floss pink head. She'd physically dyed her hair that colour again so as to 'magic proof' on the off chance they encountered more anti-magic lacrimas. Wendy still hadn't returned from her mission so a thick white bandage covered the wound on the Change mage's shoulder.
Erik tapped at the Change mage's leg, trying to communicate the shit that was about to go down. She batted his hand away with a glare before turning her attention back to Fairy Tail's Master.
I can't understand you, baka, she sighed. If you grope me again, I'll stab you.
Erik grinned, knowing full well that she probably would because Mavis only knew what she was hiding under her clothes weapons-wise, and ducked his head to Amalie's ear. "There's gonna be an all out brawl to decide the two captains for the Games."
She turned her face up to look at him with a mischievous smirk and raised eyebrow. Lucy for president?
"Hey! I said listen up!" Makarov screamed, his face turning a beautiful shade of red that gave Cobra a sudden hankering for poppies. Opiates had always been a favourite of his.
Everyone finally gave him their attention and he calmed himself down before continuing. "As you all know, it's that time of year again and I've thought of a brand new way to pick team captains for the Grand Magic Games!"
"Oh yeah! I'm all fired up!" Natsu screamed, lighting his corner of the guild on fire with his enthusiasm. There was a brief moment of chaos until the fire dissipated.
I can't believe that walking fire hazard has actually made it into adulthood. But then again, jellyfish have been around for millions of years and don't have a brain so I guess that gives him hope of immortality, Erik mused. He'd never been able to get a clear reading on his fellow Slayer, everything was always spasmodic and irrational or revolved around food. God help the human race if that prick lives forever.
"Quiet down!" Makarov shouted, growing scarily gigantic before shrinking again when he had regained order. "As I was saying, this year we will choose captains differently. Freed has just finished writing runes to protect the Guild from any structural damage, so I will run through the rules and then we can begin. This will be a battle to the final two. You can't use magic or weapons."
"Define weapons," Erza commanded, standing up. "Because my clothes are magic and weapons. Are you suggesting I have to fight naked?"
Erik winced as the memory of the naked Requip mage resurfaced in his memory from the previous evening, and was grateful the Master hadn't been there to see it. He really didn't want to re-visit Makarov's wank bank again. Like ever again. Once in a lifetime was more than enough.
"Can criminals be captain?" Erik interrupted, knowing full well the answer was already no but needing to make sure Makarov was successfully detoured away from thoughts of female nudity and off the fast track to Pervert-ville.
"Goddamn it! No magic! No knives, swords, arrows, guns and hammers! No using anything that will physically maim or harm another person!" the diminuitive Master yelled, his face turning an interesting shade of purple this time. "You can kick the shit out of each other and brawl like normal people!"
Cobra was fairly certain that if he kept screaming like that, Makarov would shit himself by accident. And that was something no one really needed to witness. Or smell.
"The bar is a safe zone! If you don't want to play, then get your asses behind it because the battle begins now!"
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Lucy was surprised by how quickly everyone moved.
The last time I ever saw people react like this was when there was an open bar, she thought incredulously.
She watched as Cana leapt the bar, already knowing the Card mage was more interested in drinking than fighting in the GMG, and Macao was quick to follow. Cobra sat beside the master at the bar and they looked to be placing running bets.
"Don't hesitate," a feminine voice she knew far too well from brutal mornings of training hissed at her. Emerald eyes met the Celestial Mage's bewildered chocolate gaze with a vicious smile as she sunk her fist into Natsu's stomach. Lucy almost felt bad for her fiery friend, but he'd charged pretty recklessly and left himself wide open as he did with most things in life. "Get up to the rafters and kick the shit outta Bick's again. He's hiding up there. You haven't been training for nothing."
Lucy nodded with determination and took off up the stairs, dodging flying bar stools and bodies with a practiced ease that came from being a member at Fiore's rowdiest Guild. She chanced a glance back at where she'd been standing to see Amalie and Gray back-to-back, fighting off others as if they'd been partners for years instead of weeks.
I'm glad he's happy, she thought as she pulled herself up into the rafters. He deserves it.
Lucy caught sight of Bickslow right away. He was crouched on a beam a few meters away with his back to her, watching the fight below. She snuck up as quietly as she could and gave him a less than gentle shove in the back with her sneakered foot. He spun as he rose and Lucy had to move back quickly to avoid his ridiculous cape from jeopardising her balance.
"If you show me your tits, I'll let you hit me," the Seith mage offered, lolling his tongue out. Below them, a growl was audible from the bar and the Celestial Mage didn't;'t have to look down to know Cobra was glaring up at them. "Not like you have your spirits to help you, Cosplayer."
"Who says I need my spirits to beat you?!" the blonde bit back. "And you might want to check your food for poison every day after this."
He chose that moment to feint at her, and she stumbled back out of habit.
Be calm. Breathe. Plan. React, Lucy recited in her head. Just like practice.
"Really think you can beat me?" the much taller man chuckled, faking another punch that she didn't even try to avoid.
He doesn't know I've gotten better at hand-to-hand combat. I need to play it up that I'm weak without my spirits.
She looked down uncertainly. They really were a long way up and the rafters weren't all that wide.
"Scared of heights, Cosplayer?" Bickslow teased, creeping closer.
"I'm not a fan," she admitted quietly.
He took another step closer. Unfortunately for him, he'd gotten just within her range thanks to his cockiness.
Lucy took full advantage of it, using a burst of speed that he didn't know she had to knock him off balance with her shoulder before kicking his legs out from under him. He fell from the rafters, but landed in a crouch behind the bar.
Lucy swore the man was part cat. He always seemed to land on his feet.
"Bickslow is OUT!" Makarov announced.
There didn't seem to be many people left in the race for captain-ship, and the area behind the bar was beginning to look incredibly crowded.
Most surprisingly, the blonde noticed that Erza and Amalie were calmly sitting on bar stools chugging beers and nursing growing lumps on their heads.
They're so evenly matched they probably knocked each other out at the same time!
"Great work, Luce!" a male voice called out to her. The Celestial mage looked down from her perch to see Gray grinning up at her as he gave her a thumbs up. She smiled back and waved, before noticing a shadow looming behind him. "Gray! Watch out!"
The Ice Make mage barely had time to turn before he was felled by a single punch courtesy of Laxus.
"And this years GMG captains are Lucy and Laxus!"