Author's Note: I just wanted to say how blown away I was with the feedback from yesterday's chapter, it was amazing getting that many reviews and reading through the many different feelings and emotions you all had! I really don't ship Faberry at all in any way, it just seemed like the most angst-y pairing I could think of. Anyways, thank you for the many reviews, we passed the 200 mark and that is outstanding. This chapter starts off during the Silly Love Songs episode and somewhat follows the few episodes that followed.

Six Word Story: "I refuse to be anyone's secret."

Rachel frowned as she watched Santana leave the choir room, she honestly didn't think her comment would make the fiery cheerleader leave.

It was an innocent comment, one she was sure the former cheerleader had heard before from many people.

She was Santana Lopez, of course people expected her to grow up and be a stripper. She had slept with half the school, it only made the most sense.

Why did she feel so bad about speaking the truth? Watching Santana flee from the choir room choking back tears should have felt good after the girl had messed up her relationship with Finn.

Rachel bit her lip, the more she watched the clock tick the worse she felt about her words. She expected Santana to get mad and retaliate, not run away.

Rachel stood quickly and collected her things, she couldn't sit in there anymore, her conscious was screaming at her to find Santana.

"Where's Berry going?"

"She's probably fleeing the country, Santana may have stormed off for now but Berry is so dead when she comes back."

Rachel ignored the words being said as she exited the room in search of Santana, which didn't take her long at all.

The former Cheerio was sat outside the door with heavy tears streaming down her face and her arms wrapped protectively around herself.

"Santana..I-I'm so sorry." Rachel stuttered as she cautiously knelt in front of Santana.

"No you're not, you meant what you said." Santana cried, "I just don't get it, all I do is try to be honest with everyone."

"You're kind of a bitch, Santana. Do you honestly think you're being nice when you say things? Because ninety percent of the things that leave your mouth are just awful." Rachel explained.

"I'm just keeping it real, what's wrong with that? It's how I was brought up." Santana cried.

Rachel sighed, "You have to think about the consequences, Santana. Not everyone loves to hear that they look like a man, or that the baby they have up should have been born a lizard."

Santana shook her head, "But why? It's just the truth."

"So you truthfully think I look like a man?" Rachel asked, the hurt evident on her face.

Santana wiped the tears off her cheeks, "I'm done talking about this, Berry."

"Okay but please accept my apology before you go, I really am sorry I said it. I let my anger get the best of me." Rachel said.

"Fine, whatever, I accept your apology. Now get away from me before people see us together." Santana said as she wiped any evidence of crying off her face.

Rachel smiled softly to herself as she got up and walked away from Santana, she felt as though she melted a tiny little Rachel Berry sized hole in the girl's icy heart.

Rachel watched Santana and Brittany sing with Miss. Holiday with a thoughtful expression, she should have known. It was so obvious and she wouldn't be surprised if she was the only one sitting in the choir room who understood the true meaning behind their singing.

The longing looks and lingering touches between the two cheerleaders made sense now, she shouldn't have assumed the stories about them were just rumors, she should have seen it.

It explained why Santana was so angry all the time, she was hiding who she really was in fear of ending up like Kurt.

Hiding who you really were wasn't a walk in the park, it took it's toll on a person, she's hers the stories from both of her fathers.

Rachel clapped as they finished their song, "Can I just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm? Brava. Brava."

Santana turned around quickly to face Rachel, "Look, just because I sang with Brittany—doesn't mean that you can put a label on me."

Rachel frowned as Santana exited the room, she hadn't meant to offend her in any way, she was genuinely proud of them.

Rachel found herself chasing Santana out of the choir room for the second time, she didn't know why the thought of upsetting Santana of all people made her feel so awful.

"Santana, wait please." Rachel begged as she chased Santana down the hall and into the girl's bathroom.

"What do you want, dwarf? I think you've said enough, why don't you go back to the choir room and drool over Finn some more." Santana said angrily as she stared at herself in the mirror.

"I just wanted to apologize in case I offended you." Rachel said as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Santana scoffed, "Why would I be offended? I already told you, you can't label me just because I sang with Britts."

"Santana, no one understood the true meaning behind your song but me. You can trust me." Rachel said softly.

"Yeah right, midget. As soon as you found out Finn wasn't the baby daddy you went running to the local newspaper with that little tidbit." Santana said.

"Because I was in love with him and I thought by doing that he'd fall into my arms. This is different, Santana, this is your life and I wouldn't put it in danger knowing what my dads went through." Rachel explained.

Santana angrily wiped a tear from her face, "What do you want me to say, that I'm gay? Because I think you already knew that."

Rachel's breath caught in her throat at the declaration, sure she had assumed but it was different hearing it out loud for the first time from the girl.

"So you love Brittany then? Are you guys going to be together?" Rachel asked, a smile creeping up on her face.

Santana shrugged, "Maybe. I'm not in love with her though."

"Well if you ever need anything...feel free to call me or come over or something." Rachel offered with a smile.

"Not a chance, Berry."

Rachel plastered on a smile as she turned to leave, it was clear Santana was done talking to her and she wasn't going to stick around if she was unwanted. She was trying to reinvent herself, no longer wanting to be the Rachel Berry everyone had come to hate over the last year of glee club.

"Berry," Santana called out, "Thanks." She said with a nod.

Rachel smiled happily as she exited, she had definitely meddled her way into Santana's life, now it was just up to the teen to realize it.

Rachel looked up from her homework at the sound of knocking on her bedroom door, "Come in!"

"Rachel, there's a crying girl on the couch. I think she's the one that sang at sectionals, I tried to tell her how phenomenal she was to make her feel better but I don't think it worked so I gave her a glass of water." Hiram said, his eyes begging her go deal with it.

Rachel stared at her father blankly, "Santana is here?"

"If Santana is the one that sang at sectionals then yes. Please go find out why she's crying."

Rachel got up from her bed and quickly made her way down to the living room, "Santana? Are you okay?"

The crying girl shook her head quickly, "N-no, and I didn't know where else to go."

"I'm glad you remembered where I live, come on let's go up to my room." Rachel said as she gripped the girl's arm to lead her upstairs.

"Your dad is really nice." Santana said as they entered Rachel's room.

"He tries his best. Why are you crying, Santana? You haven't even insulted my bedroom, are you okay?" Rachel asked as she stood nervously by her bedroom door.

Santana shrugged, "Brittany doesn't want to be with me, she says she loves Artie and if they break up she's all mine. I just don't get it, she's the one that wanted me to talk about my feelings, she's the reason I sang that stupid song."

"That hardly seems fair, Santana. She basically forced you into all of this and then rejected you?" Rachel asked, her mind confused at the anger she was feeling.

"Whatever, at least she helped me to accept who I am." Santana said as she wiped her eyes. "God, I feel like I'm always crying around you."

"You are, but it's okay." Rachel smiled.

Santana looked around the room warily, "I can't believe I didn't immediately make fun of this when I came in. I feel like it's too late to even make a joke about it."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "It's not that bad. I've even gotten rid of all the stuffed animals that I had on my bed last year."

"They're in the closet, aren't they?" Santana asked.

"I..don't know what you're talking about." Rachel lied. "So, um, what's it like?"

"What's what like, Berry?"

"Liking girls." Rachel said nervously.

"Better than liking guys. Girls are..it's hard to explain, especially right now when I'm confused about all of these feelings I have." Santana said.

Rachel frowned, "Oh, alright."

"You know how you practice kissing with your best girl friends? It's like that, but all the time." Santana explained.

"Oh, I never-I didn't have many friends before I had my first kiss." Rachel said, playing with the hem of her skirt nervously.

Santana paused, a mischievous glint in her eye, "Wait, you've never kissed a girl?"

Rachel shook her head quickly, "No, is that weird? I know most girls do it at summer camp but I went to theater camp and it wasn't a good experience for me. My cabin mates put worms in my bed every night."

Santana stood from the bed and walked toward Rachel, the mischievous glint never leaving her eyes, "Shut up, Berry."

Rachel blinked nervously as Santana stood right in front of her, "S-Santana, what are you doing?"

Santana shook her head, "Shh,"

She tilted Rachel's head up and smirked at the girl's expression, "Prepare to have your mind blown."

Santana gently pressed her lips against Rachel's, waiting to see if the singer would reciprocate.

Rachel opened her eyes in surprise before closing them again and moving her lips against Santana's.

Santana smirked and pressed Rachel into the door tightly as she deepened their kiss, her tongue itching to be inside the diva's mouth.

Rachel opened her mouth and moaned, she hadn't understood what Finn had meant when he said he saw fireworks when he and Quinn kissed, but she understood now.

Santana pulled away from Rachel slowly, her trademarked smirk in place, "Now you've lived a little more."

Rachel touched her lips in a daze, they were tingling to the point she could almost hear them screaming out for Santana.

"Thanks for this, Berry. You're not so bad." Santana said as she turned the handle on the bedroom door.

Rachel nodded, words still unable to be spoken.

Santana chuckled as she opened the door and walked out, "See you tomorrow, Rachel."

Rachel watched her leave in a daze, she didn't know one kiss could make her feel so alive.

She leaned over her desk and wrote a new goal on a clean note paper to stick to her elliptical.

With shaky hands she swapped out the picture of her and Finn to her new goal:

Santana Lopez.

Getting close to Santana really wasn't that hard, she knew the teen always sat in the back of the choir room so she started sitting there too, making sure her fellow teammates picked seats around her so the only one left would be right next to her when Santana came in late.

She also knew that Santana liked to dance in the front or middle during their numbers so that's where she started putting herself too.

They always seemed to be around each other now, and Rachel was unsure if Santana even noticed. And if she did notice, did she think it was coincident or on purpose?

There were so many questions she needed answers to but every time she tried to talk to Santana it never worked out well.

Especially because of her new relationship with none other than David Karofsky. That was the one thing she really wanted answers about.

While she was glad Kurt was back because of Karofsky's new attitude, it still made no sense why the girl who had admitted to be a lesbian a week ago was now dating a boy, possibly one of the worst boys there was at McKinley.

"Are you okay, Rachel? Mr. Shue dismissed us and you've just been sitting here."

Rachel snapped out of her thoughts at Finn's voice, "Oh, I just have a lot on my mind. Did you happen to see where Santana went?"

"Santana? Why do you want to know where she went? You're not still mad at her about us are you?" Finn asked.

Rachel shook her head as she collected her things, "What? No, I am totally over it. I just had to ask her a question."

"Oh, okay. I think she said she was going to the library for her free period." Finn said, flashing Rachel his famous half smile.

"Thanks, Finn!" Rachel said as she rushed out of the choir room, she was finally going to get Santana alone.

Before she could reach the library she felt herself being pulled into the janitor's closet, seeing nothing but darkness around her.

"Please don't hurt me, I carry pepper spray."

"I just wanted to talk." Santana said as she turned the light on.

Rachel breathed in a sigh of relief, "Thank god, I thought it was one of the football guys again."

"What do you mean again?" Santana asked, her eyebrows scrunched together.

"It's nothing, sometimes they just like to see all the places they can shove me into because I'm so tiny and portable." Rachel said with a forced smile.

"Well you don't have to worry about that anymore, I'll make sure the Bully Whips protect you." Santana said firmly.

Rachel shook her head, "It's okay, Santana. It really hasn't happened for a while."

"But on the subject of the Bully Whips...what's going on, I thought you liked girls."

"And I thought I told you I wasn't ready to come out?" Santana shot back.

"But David of all people? He threw a slushie in your face two weeks ago!" Rachel exclaimed.

Santana sighed, "What do you want from me, Berry? I'm a lesbian in Lima, those don't go together."

Rachel bit her lip nervously and looked down, mumbling quietly.

"Speak up, hobbit." Santana said in frustration.

"I want you to kiss me again, okay?! I've never felt anything like it, my lips still tingle when I think about it. I haven't even thought about Finn since it happened." Rachel blurted out quickly, her cheeks red with embarrassment.

Santana stared at the diva in shock, "I didn't know you were a lady lover, Berry."

"I'm not! I just..you make me feel things, Santana. Things I never felt with Finn, you made me feel alive for the first time in months. Not even singing makes me feel like that anymore." Rachel tried to explain.

"Look, Berry, I'm all for experimenting but I am not about to put myself out there and get hurt ag—"

Rachel gripped the front of Santana's jacket tightly and pulled her down to crash their lips together forcefully.

Santana whimpered in surprise before kissing back just as forcefully, her hands gripping Rachel's hips tightly.

"Fucking hell, Berry." Santana groaned into Rachel's mouth. "Puckerman was totally right about you being an amazing kisser." She said in between kisses.

"Do you maybe wanna come over after school?" Rachel asked breathlessly as she slowly let go of Santana's jacket and smoothed it out.

Santana nodded and pulled her hands off Rachel's hips, "Totally."

Rachel grinned to herself as she slipped out of the closet, no pun intended.

The end of the school day couldn't come fast enough.

"So what does this mean for us?" Rachel asked between kisses from her place beneath Santana.

"What d'you mean? You're experimenting." Santana said as she kissed down Rachel's neck, her hand gripping the diva's smooth thigh.

"It's more than experimenting, San. You make me feel so many things that I can't explain but they just feel right. You feel it too, I know you do. You wouldn't have kept coming over if you didn't." Rachel said quietly.

They had been doing this for almost two weeks, Santana would come over, they'd make out for hours and Santana would always leave in a hurry when things got too real for her liking.

"I have nothing else going on, why wouldn't I come to get my mack on?" Santana asked before rolling off Rachel with a sigh. "Look, I don't know what you want from me, Berry. You're in love with Finn and I want to be with Brittany."

"I don't want to be with Finn anymore. You make me feel more than he ever did." Rachel whispered. "I want to be with you and I think you want to be with me too."

"You're sneaky hot and not all that bad lately but I don't want to be with you." Santana said as she got up from the bed and adjusted her clothes.

"You'll realize it soon, Santana." Rachel stated with a nod as she watched the girl slip her shoes on and head for the door.

"I don't think I will." Santana said as she left.

Rachel sighed and curled up on her bed with tears welling in her eyes, she was tired of people not wanting her back despite what their feelings told them.

She was tired of people taking her feelings for granted.

Rachel Berry always got what she wanted, and what she wanted was Santana Lopez.

So two weeks of ignoring Santana wasn't exactly the easiest thing.

The ex-Cheerio seemed to be everywhere Rachel went to escape her; the library, the dance studio, even the auditorium.

Rachel smiled to herself as she drove home, Santana was following close behind her. It may have taken her fifteen days to come to her senses, but it was better than Finn taking almost a year.

"Why are you ignoring me, Berry? I thought we had something." Santana asked as they both got out of their cars.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Santana. I've simply just been busy." Rachel lied as she unlocked her front door and went inside, waiting for Santana to follow.

"Bullshit, I've followed you around for the past two weeks and you haven't said two words to me. It sucks." Santana scowled.

"So it wasn't a coincidence you were everywhere I went?" Rachel asked.

Santana shook her head, "No, why would I be in the dance studio? I just wanted you to talk to me, you were right okay? I do have feelings for you, feelings I can't explain because I have absolutely no clue where they came from."

Rachel grinned, "I knew it."

"I want to be with you more than I wanted to be with Brittany." Santana confessed.

Rachel wrapped the girl in a tight hug, "Then let's be together. I'm sure the glee club will have many questions and Finn may get upset but—"

Santana cut her off quickly as she pulled back from the embrace, "Woah, Rachel, no. I want to be with you but I-I'm not ready to be out."

"Then how are we going to be together, San?"

"Just..in secret for a little while. I may have come to terms with being a lesbian but I'm not ready to tell people."

Rachel frowned, "I refuse to be anyone's secret."

"If you really wanted to be with me you'd be okay with keeping it a secret, Rachel!" Santana said calmly, trying to contain her anger.

"I just don't see the problem with telling the glee club, those people are our family. I'm fine with hiding it from the rest of the school, but I refuse to put on an act in the one room I can be myself in, with the very few people I feel comfortable with." Rachel said softly.

Santana crossed her arms tightly, "Well I'm not ready to tell everyone. Take it or leave it."

"Then I guess we should end whatever this is before it even starts..or we develop more serious feelings." Rachel said, doing her best to keep her tears in.

She wasn't going to let Santana see how much it was affecting her.

"Guess so. Glad we had this conversation now instead of later." Santana said as she made her way to the door. "See you around, Berry."

Rachel watched the girl leave and waited until she heard the car start to let out her tears.

She couldn't believe she lost Santana before even really having her at all.

Her crying quickly turned into sobs as she wrapped her arms around herself for comfort.

Maybe Rachel Berry didn't always get what she wanted after all.

Review!