Favorite character: Shinpachi :') Sakamoto in a very close second
Favorite pairing: tsukisachi!
Dislikes: I don't really have any sensitivities to blood or angst or mature content or anything like that, I suppose.
Likes: I'm such a sucker for fluff omfg, but angst is nice too
Spoilers: No worries, I'm caught up :)
Rating: Hmm, I guess just nothing super sexually explicit. Again, I'm not at all sensitive to blood or gore or mature/sexual content, but tbh I get really awkward about smut, haha. Angst is totally fine though! I don't have any problem with that sort of mature content, receiving or generating!
Prompt: Ahh well, really anything Gintama makes me happy tbh, but I suppose my favorite part of the series is the family dynamics. Especially when it comes to Shinpachi.
"Some Story Titles Are Just Too Long To Fit In So They Often Cut It Down Into Smaller Versions. Huh? Are We Talking About This Story? Maybe. But At This Rate This Title Is Going To Be Longer Than The Actual Story Itself! Have Some Consideration For The Word Count, Dammit! Hell, Maybe We Should Just Put The Whole Story In Here Already. The Country of the Samurai, It's Been A Long Time Since Our Country Was Called This-"
"HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE?!" Suddenly the black title screen with white brushmarks was ripped off and torn to pieces. Shinpachi stood there with the black strips of paper that remained of the chapter in his clenched fists.
"Well, there's always a chance that our story might get shortened into "Some ***** ****** Are Just Too Long To Fit In," Gintoki replied with a look of boredom on his face and a pinky in his nose. He was holding up another brand new title screen in his hand, which Shinpachi hurriedly took down.
"Stop that! Do you want our readers to get the wrong idea?!"
"But who's even going to read a stupid piece of fanfiction anyways?" Kagura yawned. The three of them were in the living room of the Yorozuya sitting under a kotatsu. There was a bowl of cookies on the table, but for some reason all of them were shaped like glasses. Gintoki and Kagura were in pajamas, and only Shinpachi was in his regular attire as he swept the remnants of the title screen into the garbage.
"It's Christmas, most people will be looking for a lot of things like fluff, romance or stories about their OTPs," Gin said, "Sure the three of us bonding together will make a great fluff fic, but at this rate with your ranting, all we'll be getting flames from people who want their money back."
"We aren't even paying them anything!" Shinpachi took a cookie from the bowl and munched on as he talked.
"Hey Shinpachi, you're spilling crumbs on the floor -aru." Kagura said as she smashed a glasses-cookie directly onto the table, making it crumble.
"Why are you all picking on me for? You guys are the ones spreading crumbs all over the place!" Shinpachi pointed at both of them, "Geez, I feel like I should be the adult around here, not Gin-san."
Meganetama!
The logo of Gintama appeared along with the opening song. Shinpachi is seen dressed in his Movie 2 costume in an epic pose.
Let's go out open my mind, let's go sweet dreams-
Crash!
Two pairs of glasses cookies impacted onto Shinpachi's forehead.
"Why are you the one looking so cool?" Gintoki and Kagura stood there with dark auras enveloping them, "Don't get cocky just because your movie animation quality is better than the first season's first opening -aru!"
"I just want to be the funny man for once!" Shinpachi protested, "The person who made the prompt said I was their favorite character!"
The dark auras dissipated into rain clouds. Gintoki and Kagura slumped over in different corners of the room.
"The main protagonist ranks behind Sakamoto..."
"I am worse than a pair of glasses-aru..."
"IS BEING BEHIND ME THAT BAD?" Shinpachi turned to the audience, "Although I'm plain, I'm also way more reliable than these idiots over there! That's why we're doing this fanfiction, because it's Secret Santa on Tumblr and-" he stopped. "Gin-san, Kagura... What are you doing?"
"Nothing," The two chorused. They were wearing the cookie glasses.
"I've been meaning to ask for a while now, but why are these cookies shaped like glasses?! Where did you even get them?!"
"Gin-chan made them! He's a good baker... Remember in Chapter 1/Episode 3 where he was baking a cake in your house?"
"I don't think anyone would remember that..." Shinpachi sweatdropped, "But that still doesn't answer my question."
"It's because it's a Shinpachi-centered story today, so we've got to have some Shinpachi-shaped cookies." Gin said.
"Enough with the glasses joke already! Don't you think it's been going on long enough?" Images of the second movie, Genderbend arc, Soul Switch arc surfaced briefly before Shinpachi slammed it down.
"It helps us take our frustrations out while Shinpachi's getting the spotlight-aru," Kagura added as she crushed another cookie.
"Somehow I feel like I'm being crushed," Shinpachi twitched nervously, "Besides, we've wasted enough time already. Let's get on with the story we promised the prompter."
"Here, Pattsuan, let me try." Gin reached forward with a brush, "Since we're already this far into the story, we've got to have something different or people'll get bored. Let's make it longer or something."
"Some ***** ****** Are Just Too Long To Fit In So They Often Cut It Down Into Smaller ********. Huh? Are We Talking About This *****? Maybe. But At This Rate This ***** Is Going To Be Longer Than The Actual ***** Itself! Have Some Consideration For The **** *****, Dammit! Hell, Maybe We Should Just Put The Whole ***** In Here Already. The Country of the *******, It's Been A Long Time Since Our ******* Was Called This-"
"FORGET LONG, WE'LL BE FORCED TO CHANGE OUR RATING TO M!" Again, the title screen was taken down. Shinpachi threw it against the wall where it flopped into the trash can. Shinpachi stood panting, "What are we trying to insulate? That we're just a bunch of perverts? People who read this will definitely get the wrong idea!"
"How Shinpachi-like for you to try to conceal your repressed sexual desires like this, Shinpachi," Gintoki sniggered
"Don't talk to me, you virgin," Kagura added.
"You guys are the depraved ones," Shinpachi huffed. He grabbed the title screen that he threw aside earlier. "Come on, let's change this back... How did it go again?"
Kagura took up the brush this time, "Just leave it to me-aru! I remember it all!
"Some Shinpachi Are Just Too Long To Fit In So They Often Cut It Down Into Smaller Shinpachi. Huh? Are We Talking About This Shinpachi? Maybe. But At This Rate This Shinpachi Is Going To Be Longer Than The Actual Shinpachi Itself! Have Some Consideration For The Shinpachi, Dammit! Hell, Maybe We Should Just Put The Whole Shinpachi In Here Already. The Country of the Glasses, It's Been A Long Time Since Our Shinpachi Was Called This-"
"UM, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT HOW IT WENT!" Shinpachi ripped the brush out of Gin's hands, "And why is it the Country of the Glasses? Why is everything else Shinpachi?"
"Because this fic is all about Shinpachi, uh huh," Kagura said in a deadpan voice.
"You guys are still not over that?!" Shinpachi gripped his hair, "We're past 1,000 in the word count already, so let's get on with the story already!"
"Huh, we're already that far into the story -aru?"
"We haven't even gotten past the title!" Shinpachi insisted. "We need Sakamoto-san too! And some Tsukisachi before this story is over!"
"That airbrained guy's still in space. He can't just magically appear-" Gintoki stopped, "-Actually, he can. But I don't want our character slots to disappear from the search engine, so let's not talk about him."
"Just how dead set are you on your popularity?" Shinpachi demanded, "At least Sacchan is easy to find. She's always stalking you after all."
Just like that, the ceiling suddenly burst open, raining chips of wood down on the kotatsu. The kunoichi in purple appeared upside down hanging from her hiding place.
"MY HEART FOREVER BELONGS TO YOU, GIN-SAN!" She loudly proclaimed, "I WILL NEVER ENTRUST IT TO ANY OTHER-MPH!" Gintoki stuffed a cookie in her face and shoved her back into the ceiling.
"Tsukuyo's going to have her hands full with this one," he said cheerfully. "But it's a good way to get a stalker off my back. Maybe if I send a bottle of sake to her... watching the drunk terminator in action might inspire the masochistic feelings and she'll find a new target."
Shinpachi sighed, "There you have it. Gintama is not a romance anime so I had no clue how to incorporate that part, but it seems to have sorted itself out."
He reached for the list again, reading it through, "Uh, lets see... What else do we need to include? Fluff and family dynamics. Okay, got it."
"Man, how are we going to do this?" Gintoki sighed, "It just isn't natural when you're trying to act in front of other people. Now that I've read that, it's too difficult for me to relax and continue. I'll be asking myself, 'Is this fluff?' 'Are we finally having enough fluff?' 'Aren't we usually better than this when we're not under pressure and fearing that readers will laugh at every little thing and mistakes, while you're a nervous wreck inside worrying over the tiniest details?'"
"Gin-chan is a delicate soul," Kagura nodded, "Especially in a story with Shinpachi."
"Seriously, could you stop poking fun about me already?"
"Maybe we can talk about some of the recent manga things that went down," Shinpachi suggested, "There's a lot of angst involved so we can turn this into a hurt/comfort genre and cheer each other up."
"It's too overused," Gintoki said, flicking a booger that landed into the bowl of cookies. "We already have a lot of angst in this fandom about me having breakdowns, Utsuro, the Joui war feels, Utsuro, HijiGin OkiKagu drama, Utsuro, and Highschool AUs. People will be pissed off if we just go along and do another one."
"They're already going to be pissed off by the list you just made!" Shinpachi retorted, "And Utsuro's mentioned too much!"
"Because he's the major angst generator in the manga right now."
"Besides, who wants to see me kissing that sadist bastard anyways?" Kagura's cookie broke apart in her hands with a loud crack, "I'm going to pull a Gin-chan and throw him at Yamazaki, who will hopefully inspire his sadist-side -aru."
(Somewhere in Edo, Yamazaki shivered violently.)
Gin shrugged, "Let's see... We're almost 2,000 words now. How much longer until Shinpachi's time is over?"
"You were counting?" said tsukkomi muttered, "Well, this story is getting kind of long. We never got around to doing an actual story. You know, the writer originally wanted to write a fic where I got sick and you guys have to take care of me, while incorporating fluff and Sakata family feels... But in the end we ended up with nothing at all." He got up and slowly walked to the exit dejectedly.
"Shinpachi."
He stopped.
Gintoki was still sitting there, under the kotatsu table, with one hand propped to support his chin as he looked forward thoughtfully. His dead fish eyes gave no indication of what he was thinking on the inside. But he regarded Shinpachi with a look as if he was about to start another one of his life speeches.
"As I said before, it just isn't natural when you're trying to act something out," he said. Sadaharu snuggling under the covers gave a sleepy yawn. "Don't you think this is better than anything else we can come up with? If we just forced the issue, then all it would be is an act."
"We acted like how we've always been, and that's all that the reader needs to see, right?" Gintoki flashed a grin in the audience's direction, "What you wanted is not a corny play that suits your preferences, but at the same time loses the character's natural self."
"If you want a Shinpachi-centric story..."
He took the glasses off Shinpachi's face and presented it to the audience.
"...Then we've got him right here."
A pause. Then...
"WE HAVEN'T MADE ANY PROGRESS AT ALLLLLLLL! I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING WISE TO SAY, BUT IT'S JUST ANOTHER GLASSES JOKE? I'M GOING BACK HOME, GUYS, I'VE HAD ENOUGH..."
Voices echoed down the hall, accompanied by stomping feet and slammed door as the sounds grew smaller and smaller. Sadaharu stared at the black title card, before swiping a paw through. The ink that was not yet dried got smudged on the piece of cloth.
"Some Story *** *** **** *** **** ** *** ** ** **** ***** *** ** **** **** ******* *****.**** ** ******* ***** **** ****? . *** ** **** **** **** ***** ** ***** ******************************! Have Some Consideration For The Shinpachi, Dammit! ****, **** ***** *** ******* **** ** *** *** *** *** ***** **** **** ** ** ****** ** *** ***** **** **** **** **** *** ** *** ****** ****"