Chapter 38: Join the Family

November 3

Howlett Manor

When America sat down next to Kate, Kurt, Moira, and David for breakfast, she let out a little groan as she did so. "Shoot," she muttered. "Still sore. Really?" She looked down at her chest and side as if her own body had betrayed her and tutted, then grinned over Kate's way. "Guess that's what happens when you take on a guy who thinks he's the god of frikkin' war."

Kate rolled her eyes at America. She'd already heard about Osborn's new 'Avengers' — from America herself, no less — but then, America had been on some serious morphine for her bruised and cracked ribs at the time, so Kate was just going to have to put up with a retelling, apparently. "The way you tell it, you took him down by yourself."

America grinned wider. "Well, you do have to give Betsy and Remy some credit. They were good for the assist."

"Uh-huh. And the stab wound that did him in had nothing to do with Betsy," Kate said with a little smirk.

"Doesn't really count if Remy and I toppled him and he was more or less out by the time she ended it," America countered, one eyebrow raised.

"But she did end it," Scott said dryly with a smirk from across the table. "Even if it was a great team effort."

"Don't mess with my spotlight, Summers," America said good-naturedly, grinning over his way. "Just because you spent the whole thing in a wrestling match."

"We were all where we were needed most," Scott said.

"And I'm kind of very glad he was?" Peter pointed out. "Because I didn't really enjoy getting pounded on. At all."

"I shouldn't have let him get you at all," Scott said with a frown. "But at least he didn't do any real lasting damage."

"Yeah, no harm done, mostly," Peter agreed, nodding. "And hey, it was Norman, not you or Clint. Let's get that straight." He looked across the table and then paused and added, "Well, and that weird Daken creep, but he's gone now."

"Yeah, Nat did seem pretty pleased about that much," Kate said with a light shrug. "Though the fact that Clint's all holed up in his room moping isn't helping her mood."

"Sorry about that," Scott said, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Not your fault."

"Besides, everyone else was a little busy," America said with a grin. "Logan totally ditched us to kill his doppleganger."

"No idea how many stitches he ended up needing from that. It looked bad. But it was still the least bloody I've ever seen Logan after a fight like that — though it might have been the rain more than it was avoiding the blood," Scott added with a shake of his head. " Maybe we should make a new rule that he can't go into a fight unless it's going to be raining heavily at the time."

"Well, rain and waves," Peter amended. "There was a lot of water." He looked a bit queasy at the memory. "If I hadn't been terrified, I would've been seasick all over Clint."

"That would have been fair payback," Logan told Pete with a little smirk as he sat down with his coffee, moving very stiffly with one arm in a sling. "You over all that nonsense yet?"

"Mostly," Peter said. He smiled a bit to himself. "Gwen says turnabout is fair play, though, seeing as she got hit with the flu and I didn't."

"Well, misery loves company," Kurt said with a soft and knowing smirk, still barely over the ick himself, though he had one eyebrow quirked as he looked over at Logan. "What were you doing out on the sea?"

"Had to go out after that Daken guy," Logan said with a shrug and a wince. "Didn't want him slippin' off after sending a flock of little girls after me. Dirty damn trick. He knew I wouldn't hit a little girl."

"No, you had to make sure he slipped off the boat," America said, smirking.

"He's dead. I'm sure of it," Logan promised. "And we weren't anywhere near the boats."

"Might as well have been. I saw the state of the rigging," America countered.

"Rigging?" Kurt repeated, looking over at Logan as he started to narrow his eyes. He leveled a finger his way. "You ... you went out on the open sea to have a fight in the rigging — WITHOUT ME?" He gained speed and volume with every word.

Logan stared back at Kurt as he got angrier. "It ... was … a mercenary fight," Logan defeded. "Not a pirate fight."

"In the rigging!" Kurt looked flabbergasted. "What do you think the definition of a pirate is if not a mercenary? Hmm?" And little David Xavier, who had crawled up into his lap, was pointing a finger at Logan too, with great enthusiasm, to say, "Wogan, WHY?"

At that, Logan let out a little laugh and decided to roll with it. "Well, yeah, but it wasn't until after we fell out of the catwalks." He met Kurt's eyes with a grin. "Big waves and wind. I'm a little guy. It happens."

"And you didn't take me?"

"I didn't know there was going to be an Elf-approved playground when we left," Logan defended. "And if you had gone, you probably would have been inside with everyone else. They pushed me away from the group."

"That's true," Peter spoke up. "We were all stuck in there — and then suddenly, whoops, no Logan around. And the place was also on fire until the waves got in, so there was that blocking our path to find him and play swashbuckles." He grinned Kurt's way broadly.

"Wasn't swashbuckles," Logan said Peter's way with a warning look. "There were throwin' stars, arrows, guns, and katanas."

"Swordfighting. In the rigging. On the seas." Peter grinned. "Stop me where I'm wrong."

But Logan stared back at him, only to finally let out a sigh and attempt to go back to his coffee.

"I can't believe it," Kurt said, shaking his head. "We've been fighting for years and we finally get a real pirate — or mercenary — adventure and I'm not there!" He threw his head back to look up at the ceiling with a long, loud noise of frustration as David enthusiastically joined him with a "Wogan, WHY."

But Logan had dipped his head down a bit and half hid behind one hand, to David's delight. "Bum luck?" Logan suggested quietly.

"The worst possible luck," Kurt agreed, still shaking his head.

"And it was in the Caribbean too," Skye supplied with a perfectly amused expression. "Injustices all around."

"The Caribbean?" Kurt looked even more flabbergasted, but David reached up one little hand to put it over Kurt's mouth.

"Hush, Kuwt. Baby here," he said, looking over at Skye with wide eyes.

"Not yet, sweet boy," Skye corrected with a little laugh. "But soon."

"I dunno; the 'hush' was pretty good," Peter muttered.

"That's what Logan says to him to get him to settle down," Kate said, smirking. "He must think it works on everyone."

"And clearly, it does," America said with a smirk to match, looking over at Kurt, who seemed to have no wind left in his sails when he was too busy laughing at David, who had moved on to making silly faces with Hunter as he crawled from one lap to the next.

"Blame Coulson," Logan suggested quietly to Kurt. "He's the one that arranged it."

"I think I'll blame Steve. He's the one who brought the flu home," Kurt chuckled.

"If what Coulson said about the place was right?" Skye said. "There is every possibility that we'll have to go back at some point. So... It'll be blue skies and calm seas when you go."

At that, a little light shone in Kurt's eyes. "That," he said, "sounds wunderbar."

"No guarantees of piracy," she warned.

"Ah well. I'll just have to lay out the right bait and take what adventures come," Kurt said with an impish grin Logan's way.

"I … had nothin' to do with what we ran into out there," Logan defended.

"Oh, I know," Kurt said. "But the trouble does seem to find you, and if you're going to be fighting in the rigging, you could at least bring me back and act as bait."

"There was that guy dressed like you, though," Peter said quietly, earning a glare from Logan.

"Yeah, that part was weird. The costumes," America agreed. "Total knock-offs. Very flashy, but they were so, so easy to punch and tear through."

"They were pretty crappy impersonators," Logan agreed.

"Bet Osborn's glad he debuted them privately first, or he'd have to explain how he's two down already," America said with a crooked grin.

"And of course there is no photographic proof of this fashion theft," Jubilee said with one eyebrow arched as she looked over the group. "So you'll have to tell me all about it."

America grinned Jubes' way and threw an arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm engaged to GoGo. I think I can even use the terminology at this point," she said in a stage-whisper. "By the time your line partner gets back, you can tell him the thread count."

"Keep talking like that, and I'm going to hold you personally responsible for his return."

"Hey, I'd go get him myself, but I can't fly," America said with a grin. "And he hasn't called in, so… what, I can go find him and hit him for taking so long if you want?"

"We'll figure out where he is, then send in, like … Agent May with no coffee. That'll show 'em," Jubilee said with a little smirk.

"She doesn't like coffee," Logan pointed out.

"No tea," Skye said. "And no Coulson," she added quickly, this time with a little twinkle in her eyes.

"And have whoever's on the other side say she can't hit worth a damn," Logan added.

"Problem solved," Skye said, snapping her fingers.

November 4

In the Capitol

When Osborn returned with his so-called 'Avengers', Noh didn't even bother to hide his amusement at the state of them. "And here you dismissed me when I said they were shoddy replacements," he said haughtily.

Osborn gave him a look. "I barely put up with that kind of attitude from Daken; I'm not putting up with it from you."

Noh shrugged openly. "You hired me as a stylist. I can tell the difference between an original and a knockoff."

Osborn shook his head to himself and waved the remaining 'Avengers' over. "Their suits offered them no protection."

"You used the materials I suggested?" Noh asked. "They are resistant, not immune. I can only do so much if your players cannot dodge."

"It needs to be better," Osborn said. "Just the stupid claws alone …"

"Ah, well, that, I cannot help you with even if I cared to," Noh said honestly. "Even SHIELD never found anything to stand up to those."

"SHIELD made them," Osborn said with clear frustration. "They have to know how to stop it."

"The point was to make something that would not be stopped," Noh explained patiently. "I'd say they achieved that aim."

"And we're down our replacement," Osborn muttered.

"Knockoff," Noh corrected under his breath.

"We'll find another one," Osborn said. "In the meantime, we have an appearance — and a call for volunteers — to make. I'm sure there are plenty that would like to join our little team."

"Oh yes," Noh nodded with false attention. "The self-same ones we had restraining orders against when I worked in the Games."

"Yes, those same ones," Norman agreed before he turned to face the group as a whole. "I want you all to find your new partners, come up with a reasonable way to introduce yourselves to the public at large. I'd like a few rescues on film. Something to discredit those irritating little … urchins."

The remaining 'Avengers' — all three of them — didn't exactly seem interested in anything like 'partnering,' though, as Bullseye took one look at the black-clad spider, rolled his eyes, and headed down the hallway instead to where he was staying.

Which just left the blonde posing as 'Captain Marvel', who made her way over to Noh with a little smile. "I do like the design, but it's tight in the shoulders," she told him sweetly. "I can't pull back for a full punch."

"I'll change the material," Noh told her, paying her very little attention — though that changed after Osborn had left and they were the only two remaining.

She grinned his way and slid into his space. "No, I think you should remeasure," she said silkily as she draped one arm around him that he quickly shrugged off.

"I only have to measure once," he said shortly. "I make my living on fast and accurate notations."

She let out a little hum of annoyance when he stepped around her and headed for his studio, following after him with a more determined look than before. He'd only just stepped into the room before she grabbed his shoulder to turn him to face her. "You are so missing the point, handsome," she said, pushing him with both hands on either shoulder until he felt the wall at his back.

Noh narrowed his eyes at her. "This is still my studio. Get out."

In answer, she grinned somehow wider and took a step closer, which was one step too close for Noh. In an instant, he pulled a move right out of Logan's training handbook and knocked her feet right out from underneath her. Before she could get back up — and it looked like she was going to — he grabbed her right arm and pulled it behind her back in a hold that would have been difficult to break out of without breaking something.

"You were warned," Noh told her sharply, but that had her laughing quietly, almost delightedly.

"I didn't know you could fight," she said in a tone that had him double-checking to make sure she couldn't break the hold.

Noh narrowed his eyes further. "I don't broadcast it," he said quietly. "But if you ever come into my studio uninvited again—"

"Promises, promises," she purred out.

He glared at her before he finally released his hold on her arm and took a step back. "Get out."

Karla straightened up, completely delighted, and reached up as though she were going to trail her fingers over his arm, but he stepped sideways and gave her a glare that had her laughing. "Alright, alright. Don't get all… huffy." When he continued to glare at her until she headed for the door, she laughed again. "Does the Goblin know you're so… well-trained?" she asked, pausing in the doorway.

Noh felt his mouth tighten. "I simply took self-defense classes."

"Has anyone told you you're a horrible liar?" she asked happily, and when his response was just to look even more furious, she smiled sweetly. "You know, I could keep it just between us," she said with her tongue between her teeth as she raked her gaze over him.

He stiffened and frowned harder. "As I'm sure you're aware, I'm already spoken for," he said flatly.

"And if you weren't?"

"The answer would still be no."

"Shame." She let out a little breath. "Still, it could be fun, having you as a teammate. I'm sure you're fun to watch when you work."

"Get out."

Karla smiled sweetly at him and slipped out the door with a little hum, and he was sure to close it behind her before he pressed his fingers into the spot between his eyebrows on his forehead. That… had not gone well.

November 5

Howlett Manor

Charles hadn't been wrong; the final sessions with Clint were rough, and not just because it was taxing to keep Clint contained. It was hard hearing that obnoxious trigger phrase over and over again.

It was obvious that it was wearing on Charles, too, especially after one session where Clint had managed to throw Scott off and ran for Charles, only to stop in front of him and just ... wait. Scott had looked up to see a pained sort of look on Charles' face with Clint standing in front of him waiting for more orders ... before Clint came back to himself and realized what he was doing. He could hardly look at Charles as he sat heavily back down in his seat, and Charles looked deeply troubled to be the source of such trouble.

"I think," Charles said heavily, "perhaps we should break here for lunch — and a rest."

"Yeah," Clint said quietly.

The one thing they had going for them was that Clint was free to roam the manor, of course, since it was unlikely he was going to hear that phrase in the house. No one used it on the mangy yellow lab, who Clint had started calling Cupcake as a joke for the look on Natasha's face, but the name was sticking, especially since Natasha was just glad to see him joking around. And no one used it on Ella, since she was a girl. Though that news wasn't exactly helping Clint's mood, since it meant he'd had to have that conversation with Charles, about how the family pets weren't trained the same way he was.

Bobbi had stopped by to offer her help and frowned when she saw the expressions on the faces of all three men as they filed out. "I'm not sure it'll make you feel any better," she said, "but it's not just you."

Clint raised an eyebrow her way, and she let out a sigh as she recognized the expression. When they'd been dating, she would have either kissed him or sparred with him until he stopped looking like that, and even now, she just wanted to help.

"I just mean ... it's a tried and true strategy of dehumanization," Bobbi said. "The idea is total humiliation, so that even if you know what the problem is, you don't want to address it and let other people know… well." She gestured to the three men, and their expressions that said it all. "Viper did the same thing to Logan; I'm sure Whitehall is just picking up on her weird 'pet' thing."

"Oh?" Charles asked.

She let out a sigh. "It was hard to watch, and I just didn't ... I didn't want to put it on record. But she used to do it to Logan almost constantly," Bobbi admitted. "Pet his hair and have him sit at her feet."

Scott and Charles shared a look for a moment before Charles pursed his lips. "I wish you would have told me this sooner, Bobbi. That would certainly explain a few things."

Bobbi nodded. "Whitehall seemed to think it was a great touch, since… no one wants to try to desensitize themselves to that kind of trigger."

"Still," Charles said with a small frown. "If it was never addressed…"

Bobbi nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure that should probably get looked into. Aside from the fact that I know Skye would appreciate it, David likes to pull on Hunter's hair, and I'm sure their little one will do the same thing. Even if pulling … it's not the same as the petting that went on, but it might be too close if he's having a bad day. She wasn't always nice about it."

Charles nodded. "I'll talk to him."

Bobbi smiled at that and then looked toward Clint, who was quietly watching the entire interaction, a strange sort of frown on his face as he thought it over before he slipped out the door. But … she needed to talk to Charles. So she let him go.

Still, Natasha always kept an eye out for when Clint left the sessions so she could make sure he was never alone, not only as a safety precaution but because he was pretty darn miserable, so when he came out with that look on his face, she slid right up to him and slipped her arm through stepped in closer and kissed him properly, snaking her arms around his waist to pull him closer, refusing to let him go, only pausing to breathe, pulling him as tight as she could as she tried to give him something to distract from what he was feeling.

When, finally, she stepped back, he looked a little less like the world was ending, and she hooked her arms around him to keep him there.

"So, we need to pick a place to go," she told him after a moment.

"Go?"

"Yes." She nodded and absently straightened his collar where she had messed it up — or he had; it was equally likely. "I think it would be nice to honeymoon on the beach, but it seems like that whole fiasco with the Raft isn't sitting well with anyone, so maybe we could go into the mountains instead."

He stared at her for a long moment. "Tasha, wait. Back up," he said at last, holding up a hand in between the two of them. "Did you mean to put the honeymoon plans first or — don't I get a ring or something?" he asked, the slow smile spreading over his face.

"Well, obviously," she said, waving a hand. "We can go anytime you want and get it done; I just think we should go somewhere and get away from all this. As soon as you're done with Charles, of course."

He was grinning at her with a look of pure disbelief. "No, really. This is just some kind of weird carrot-stick thing to get me through—"

"Clinton Francis," she said, and he stopped short. "I do not joke about things like this."

He let out a laugh of pure shock before he pulled her into a hug that turned into a spin that turned into a long kiss. "Alright," he said, still looking shocked. "When?"

"Whenever you want," she said.

"Alright, but you gotta let me do it proper," he said. "We need rings. I gotta get Katie to at least be a witness—"

"Whatever you want," she said with a nod.

He laughed and spun her around again before he kissed her one more time.

November 6

District Seven

It had taken Clint and Natasha all of a few hours the previous day to find a place in the district the get a simple set of rings, and they'd brought some paperwork home to finish up that night, so when morning came around, everything was all set.

Clint had rushed off to go find Kate and Steve, so it fell to Natasha to get Kurt and Logan — since she was reasonably sure she would find them together. They tended to practice their sword fighting about this time of the morning.

Sure enough, when she peeked in on the ballroom, there they were. It looked like they were just getting started, too, so she called out, "Before you work up a sweat, I need a favor."

"Yeah? What kinda favor?" Logan asked. "Pretty sure they don't want me in there any time soon."

"This is unrelated," Natasha said, waving her hand. "I need to borrow the two of you for about an hour out at the lake, if you please."

"Sure," Logan said, turning to Kurt as he shrugged his agreement. "What's going on?"

Natasha smirked his way. "Now, see, if I tell you that, you might tell someone else," she said, though she tipped her head toward Kurt and not Logan. "Just dress nicely — and Kurt, if you could bring whatever it is you need to…"

"Whatever I need?" Kurt asked.

"Yes," Natasha said, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at that.

"Right. Well, I'll just dress up for this mystery party. That I know nothing about. Because I'm so known for leaking secrets," Logan drawled out.

"You might," she teased, already slipping back out the door. "It's more Kate and Steve that I'm worried about."

"Oh, well, you got no hope there," Logan agreed. "How nice do you need?"

She shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "Just look nice. I'll be in a dress, and you know I never do that if I can help it."

"Fine," Logan grumbled. "See you in a little bit."

She smirked and waved, leaving the two of them behind for the moment as Kurt shook his head at Logan with a bemused sort of look. "I think we've just been invited to something official, but it's so hard to tell," he said, unable to hide the smile.

"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough," Logan said. "Kinda wondering why it took 'er this long."

"I think we got the rough end of the deal. If Clint had been the one to get us, we'd know the whole thing," Kurt chuckled.

"Which is why she's probably got him trussed up with a gag in his mouth somewhere."

Kurt laughed out loud. "Oh, I'm sure."

It was about half an hour later that everyone who had been asked made their way to the lake. Kate and Clint were the first to get there, both in purple, though Kate's was a lighter purple for the dress, and Clint just had a tie to go with his very basic suit. They hadn't had time to ask the stylists for anything — and hadn't wanted to — so it was more or less what they had in the closet. The same was true of Natasha in her red dress and Steve with a red tie.

When Natasha saw Logan and Kurt making their way over, she smiled and slipped over to them. "Kurt, if you could just… wherever it is you'd like to stand. We haven't really planned anything."

"Am I mistaken in assuming you need an officiant?" Kurt asked gently.

"Right, so wherever you want to stand, I'll have Logan walk me to you, and we've got our two witnesses," Natasha listed off. "That is how this works, yes?"

"Yes," Kurt replied with a growing smile. "That's exactly how this works."

Logan just watched as Kurt walked off. "I'm walking you?"

"That's what I said," she nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I asked you to." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you questioning my choices for my own wedding?"

"Nope," he said, shaking his head as he offered her his arm. "Just your sanity."

She rolled her eyes at him. "There's no one I want besides you to do this," she said. "You're my first and only choice — so take me down there, would you?"

"Then I guess this is the part where I'm ethically bound to remind you that you don't have to do this — even if clearly it's all your idea."

"I don't know where you got that idea from," Natasha said with a little smirk.

"The idea that you planned it all or the idea that I needed to tell you that running shoes are still acceptable?"

"Yes," she replied, laughing a bit to herself.

"Then whenever you're ready, darlin'."

She grinned at him and let him take her the few yards to where Kurt and the rest of the small, gathered group was. When they reached the end, and she started to let go, he pulled her over, to her surprise, to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before he stepped back.

The whole thing had been enough of a spur-of-the-moment decision that neither Clint nor Natasha had prepared anything, so it was short and sweet and by-the-book as a widely grinning Kurt declared them "husband and wife — finally" before Clint pulled Natasha into a long kiss that ended in a laugh, as he was clearly still a little bit in shock from the whole thing.

As soon as the two of them stepped even slightly back, Kate attacked Clint to give him a huge hug, and Steve gave Natasha a quick hug as well before she grinned and brushed her hands off with a sort of businesslike expression on her face.

"Well, like I said, we just needed you for a little while. You can go back to playing with your sticks now if you want," she said toward Logan and Kurt with a playful smirk.

"Nah; I have other things to do now," Logan replied. "Limited time frame for sticks."

"Right, of course. Give her my love," Natasha said with a smile before Clint slid up to her and wrapped an arm around her to kiss the side of her head, still floating.

"Besides, we have to go and tell everyone now, you ridiculous…" Kate waved her hands at the newlyweds. "If I wasn't best womaning, I'd give you a piece of my mind."

"That's why we wanted you best womaning," Clint teased.

Kate rolled her eyes at him but grabbed Kurt to wrap him up in a little excited hug as well, and the group of them headed back to the manor — somehow not at all surprised when they took the kitchen entrance in order to avoid raising too much attention… only to find that Mrs. O'Malley had just "happened" to have prepared a three-tier cake.