Ch. 38…Discomfort

The portal returned Sarevok and me to Sendai's sanctum, where the others waited.

"What happened?" Anomen cried.

"We were sent to the pocket plane," I said. "This happened the last time I killed one of the Five," I added, in case no one had bothered to fill him in.

"You've been gone a long time," Imoen said. "A lot longer than the first time."

"Oh," I said. The Solar had manipulated time before, but apparently not this time. "We opened another challenge room."

"You've been wounded," Anomen said. "You both have."

"We're okay, we drank potions," I told him. "Look, I'll explain what happened later but I'd really like to get back to the surface." I looked down at Sendai's body. "This place makes me uncomfortable."

"I, too, feel great discomfort here," Jaheira said.

I looked at Keldorn. He remained silent but he gave me a meaningful look and I knew he had words planned for me. I gave him a nod of acknowledgement. The gravity of his expression gave me a feeling of dread. We were past the point where he could just leave if he did not agree with my actions. I was under arrest and in his custody. If he judged my actions evil, he would confront me, and if he felt I was irredeemable—well. I was afraid I knew what he would have to do.

We kept our guard up, but save for a stray spider or two, any surviving denizens of the caverns stayed out of our way. We made good time. It was nighttime in the forest when we emerged from the cave. Imoen had been stumbling from weariness for some time and I figured I was not the only one who longed for a hot meal and a soft bed. Jaheira took a deep breath of fresh surface air and some of the tension left her face.

"Keeta, would you object if I do not return to the pocket plane tonight?" she asked me. "I will camp nearby and meet you here later."

"I don't object," I said slowly. "Will you be safe here alone?" She gave me a condescending smile.

"Oh, I certainly believe so," she said.

"Um, Jaheira?" Imoen said. "Do you think—could I camp with you here tonight?"

I was too astonished to do more than just stare at her. Imoen was no stranger to roughing it in the wild and she had never shown the outright disdain for the woods that Sarevok had, but I had never known her to pass up the chance of a hot bath.

"I—well, of course, Imoen, if that is your wish," Jaheira said, although it was plain to me at least that Imoen's presence would put a crimp in Jaheira's own communing-with-nature plans. But Jaheira, although taken aback, seemed nowhere near as surprised by this request as I felt. In fact, no one else seemed overly surprised or shocked. Imoen was avoiding my company and everyone else knew why.

"Do you need any supplies?" I asked rather harshly. I knew that they both preferred to carry light packs with only the barest essentials.

"Nature will provide," Jaheira said airily. Her eyes avoided mine. Imoen fiddled with her pack and did not look at me either.

"Is anyone else staying here?" My voice was pretty sarcastic. Apparently not, so I took the men to the pocket plane.

My first impulse was to go straight to my room to sulk, but that seemed cowardly, craven and childish so I began stripping out of my armor in the main hall with the others. Sarevok loosened my straps for me while Anomen and Keldorn assisted each other. There's more than one reason why knights have squires. A very agile person can get in and out of most plate armor alone (if you don't mind a sloppy fit that sooner or later will get you killed) but it takes about ten times longer than having a little help.

"So," I said, once we had laid our armor in neat little piles for Cespenar. "Does anyone want to tell me about Imoen or am I supposed to just scratch my head and wonder?"

I finally got the ties loose so I could slide out of my arming coat. That damned magic arrow I'd been hit with earlier had put a hole right through it. For some reason, Cespenar didn't like to sew so I'd probably end up having to mend it myself. I didn't like to sew either.

Anomen and Keldorn looked at each other.

"I believe she fears you," Keldorn said.

"Ah. She fears me," I said flatly. "Since when?" But I figured I knew the answer to that one. "Since I killed Sendai?"

"Bhaal entered you today," Keldorn said. "She felt this, as did we all. I would speak to you of this further." I just looked at him. "In private," he added, since obviously I wasn't getting the full hint.

"Very well," I said, suppressing my sigh. When Keldorn wished privacy, it never meant anything good. Not that I was exactly expecting any cheery good news from Torm's paladin.

"No," Sarevok said. "Anything you have to say to Keeta shall be said in my presence." I looked at him in some surprise. Did he think Keldorn would draw the Holy Avenger and slay me if we were alone? I suppressed another sigh. Was I so certain that he wouldn't?

"I feel that I have the right to hear what you have to say as well, Keldorn," Anomen said. Keldorn drew down his heavy brows at that but Anomen did not back down. Keldorn looked back at me. I gave a small shrug.

"I don't object." I gave a mental sigh at the postponement of the hot bath I'd been craving. "Let's go sit down."

They followed me to the common room and we sat around a table. Cespenar tried to bring us drinks but Anomen shooed him away.

"Tell me what happened to you today when you slew Sendai," Keldorn said.

"She knelt before me," I said. "I could feel the power in her. It hurt me, like ants biting all along my skin. Her mouth said she would serve me but her eyes told me she would betray me. I don't see how I could have let her live, Keldorn, I really don't. This is a battle to the death between us Bhaalspawn, and there can be no surrender." I hadn't really understood that myself until the words left my mouth. I looked up from my hands to see his reaction. His eyes were noncommittal.

"Are you an executioner? What right do you have to pass judgment on her or the other Bhaalspawn?" His voice held no accusation. I thought he was testing me, to see if I had thought this through. So I paused before I answered him.

"This is the task the gods have given me," I said. Then I described our encounter with the Solar and the battle against my 'innocence'. He gave me a thoughtful nod.

"I felt Bhaal's presence within you today. Tell me what happened."

"My father spoke to me. He was with me. I felt Him." He was pleased with me but I did not think Keldorn needed to hear that. Nor did he need to hear how much pleasure it had given me to kill Sendai.

"You did not fight his influence. You did not struggle. You made no attempt to regain control."

"He was just there. I had no warning." I sighed and lowered my eyes. "No, Keldorn, I did not fight him."

"You are losing the battle to the taint," he said.

"I suppose I am," I said. "I think that is what is meant by the death of my innocence. Perhaps that is the sacrifice I am required to make." I looked at Keldorn. "So, if you are planning to execute me for my evil Bhaalspawn nature, I think it would be in everyone's best interests to wait until after I kill the other evil Bhaalspawn. Let me prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled. The Solar implied that I am the only one who can do this."

"Is this your understanding as well?" he asked Sarevok.

"Yes."

"And what of Imoen?" Keldorn asked. "You are losing control, Keeta. Will you kill her as well?" I looked at Sarevok.

"We have a plan for that," I said, and I told them of our hopes to go to Sigil and avoid any further influence from the gods.

"Will it work?" I asked him.

"I do not know," he said. He looked very tired. "Please, Keeta," he said. "Pray to your god for guidance and strength. I am very concerned about what happened today. I am not sure what any of us could have done differently, but it is an ill path you walk, my friend, an ill path. I, too, will pray for guidance."

Looking at the map, it was going to be a long march to get to Abazigal's enclave. We would have to walk at least half way back to Amkethran before we could start working our way through what I guessed was going to be some very difficult terrain. I wore my travel leather and a soft comfortable pair of boots. My simple plan was to move quickly and avoid any conflicts.

"Why can't the portal place us here?" I asked Cespenar, showing him the map.

"You have never been there," he said, flying up and down restlessly when I frowned at him.

"But it took me to Watcher's Keep and I had never been there before."

"Yes but you needed to be there, oh yes. Gods' will and all that."

"Well, I really need to be here now," I said, pointing to the map again. "I'm pretty sure the gods would agree with me. Some of them, anyway. I know Bhaal would. Why should we have to walk all that way when we have a magic portal?"

"Sorry, master," he twittered in agitation. "Gods' rules, not Cespenar's rules."

So the chances of making the portal take us to Sigil seemed slight. Great.

Jaheira and Imoen were waiting in the forest clearing. Imoen gave me a bleary-eyed look, for which I felt a certain amount of satisfaction.

"Did you have an enjoyable evening?" I asked with mild maliciousness.

"Bugs, a lousy dinner, rocks under my bedroll, and more bugs," she said with a grimace. "Jaheira thought it was grand." She jerked her head at me and we stepped away from the others. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything but I just didn't think I could stand another night in the pocket plane."

"Believe me, I do understand that," I said. At least I had the power to leave when I wished (even if Sarevok fussed about it) but the others were at the mercy of me and my portal key.

"And—" She gave me a tentative look. "Yesterday, Keeta, your power—well, it really rubbed me the wrong way. Literally." She gave a little shiver. "I still feel it now, like little knives all under my skin. And the thought of being cooped up next to you—I just couldn't stand it."

"Sendai made me feel that way," I said. "I suspect you are going to have to get used to it."

"Do you feel it from me?" I shook my head.

"Not yet," I said.

"Not yet? Do you think it's going to get worse?"

"That would be my guess." I gave her a rueful look. "I'm afraid Dad will insist."

"I don't know if I can get used to it," she said frankly. "I don't want to be like you. I saw what you did to Sendai. I don't want that, Keeta. I wish I had never felt the Slayer. I think about it a lot now, whether I want to or not. And the more I am around you, the worse it gets."

"When this all is over, Sarevok and I intend to go to Sigil. That is how we plan to avoid any conflicts between you and me." Her eyes widened as if she hadn't quite thought out that part of our problem. "But until the other Bhaalspawn are gone, I think we need to stay together, Imoen. I know this is hard but you know what will happen if one of them takes you." She nodded. "Besides," I said. "I need you."

"I will try," she said. "But just give me some space. I mean, the way I feel right now—I don't even know if I can cast a spell."

"I think it would be best if you and Jaheira scout ahead," I said. "You can hide or use invisibility and she can go in an animal shape, if she wants. I'm concerned that we may run into some of Abazigal's scouts, or Tethyrian army patrols perhaps. Would you do that?"

"Sure," she said.

"Will it help?"

"Maybe."