SM owns not me

Keepingupwiththekids she's my Beta. She was in such a rush to get the rest of the story I sent her the last 3 chapters in a 'alterted' state and she got more then she bargained for, cause I made TONS of mistakes, so sorry! Forgive me?

I love OTH and from here on out if you do to, I hope you like the bits I borrowed! And if you don't know what OTH is or whatever, I just hope you like it, and if you do then start watching it!

Edward oral sex...um...is oral sex REALLY sex?? Maybe, and maybe just maybe Edward has learned to be a little less than perfect...?

Chapter 37

We Live

EPOV

"Don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. No one knows where life will take you. The road is long, and in the end, the journey is the destination."

It felt amazing to be back to work. To be able to help the teens at youth group. I closed my message to them with a short prayer and made my way to the pool table where I had promised to play a game with a few of the teens.

It had been two months since I had gotten home. Bella was sixteen weeks pregnant, and she was really excited to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. Her belly was the cutest, sexiest belly I had ever seen. She could still wear her low-rise jeans that sat on her hips and her stomach sat above it, slightly protruding. I offered to buy her maternity clothes, but she refused. Instead she let me buy her medium shirts instead of small, and size five jeans instead of size one. I would do whatever made her happy.

"Edward, can we talk?" Tanya stopped me dead in my tracks. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me defiantly. I sighed loudly as I pulled out a chair and offered her the seat. "Thank you," she said as she sat down.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I prepared to talk to her. "What's going on?" I asked her as I sat down across from her.

"I'm just worried about you. What happened to you? This sixteen," I cut her off instantly.

"Seventeen," I corrected her. I wasn't going to listen to her put Bella down. It was bad enough some of the members of the church acted like she was a witch on trial once they found out about us. They acted like she was some witch that put a spell on me and forced me down a dark path. I was not about to listen to Tanya do that same thing.

"Not that it makes a difference but if you insist, this SEVENTEEN year old girl has turned your life upside down. I just…I don't get it….I thought we were meant for each other. We make more sense," Tanya said reaching out to touch my hand. I pulled away and messed with my hair.

"It's not about what makes sense. Love doesn't make sense, it's not always perfect. It is rarely easy, and never is it black and white. Bella is more than a seventeen-year-old girl, she is smart, funny, brave, and she pushes me. She is everything I'm not, everything I need. You know, I have changed. I am different, but that isn't a bad thing. She has made me a more complete person. Love is about complementing your other half, and Tanya, you are a great friend. You are right. We are very similar in the way we were raised and in our beliefs, but you need someone that completes you. You and I both know our history was one of convenience not of love."

"You are happy?" She asked me tucking a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear.

"Tremendously."

"She is beautiful. Naturally. I hate to admit that I am jealous of girls like her. You know, girls that don't have to work so hard to look good," Tanya admitted as she flipped her hair to the other side of her head.

"You know you're a knock out. Come on you were Miss Teen Indiana, Runner up Miss America," I wanted to make her feel better. I knew she always had low self-esteem and held her appearance high on her list of priorities.

She laughed lightly. "I'm always the runner up. Always too honest for my own good. If only I could lie," she said referring to the infamous gay marriage question. She stood from her seat and I stood with her. "Good luck Edward, and congratulations," Tanya whispered as she embraced me in a hug.

I watched her walk away and started to make my way to the pool table where Emmett and some of the boys started to play without me. When I got there, Emmett handed me the pool stick, "Just in time, you are up."

I took the pool stick from him and observed the table. I lined up my shot carefully and sunk a striped ball, when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I handed my pool stick to Emmett and told him to take over for a second. I looked at Bella's name flashing across my screen, and pushed the green button to answer the phone.

"Excuse me," I told the boy I was playing pool with as I walked toward the empty stage to have some privacy. Bella never called me while I was working, but since she was pregnant she would call or text me asking me to grab her pickles or ice cream, last week she asked for potato chips and chocolate ice cream, and once I got it to her she crushed all the chips and sprinkled them on her ice cream. Like I said, whatever made her happy.

"Hey Angel, what's going on?" I asked her.

"Edward?" I was surprised when it wasn't Bella on the other end.

"Jasper?" I asked.

"Yeah, listen man, Renee and I are taking Bella to Randolph County Hospital," he told me, and I felt my heart sink.

"What? Why? Is she okay?" I asked a panicked. I started walking to the bar stool I left my jacket on and threw it on. I managed to make my way back to Emmett to tell him I was leaving.

"I don't know what's happening, but Bella….was bleeding….a lot. Like bright red blood all over. She was wearing a pair of shorts for bed, and blood just started dripping down her thigh…. She is really scared and worried," Jasper explained to me. I could barely breathe. I had no idea what to think. I was worried, I was scared.

"Em, I gotta go, they are talking Bella to the hospital," I told him, in a rush.

"Holy Cra.." Emmett stopped himself. "Is everything okay?" He asked.

"I don't know…I'll call you later," I told him rushing out of the church.

"Jasper, I will be there in like fifteen minutes," It was a twenty-five minute drive, but I would make it in fifteen. It was only five minutes from Bella's house, I was thankful she was so close to help. "Can I talk to Bella?" I asked him.

I heard Jasper tell Bella I wanted to talk and listened to her sniffle as she began to talk. "I'm so scared," she cried into the phone.

"Angel, it's going to be okay….you are going to be fine….the baby is going to be fine." I almost felt like I was lying to her because, I didn't know if that was true. "I love you, I am on my way," I stayed on the phone with her until she arrived at the hospital.

I silently prayed as I sped down Route 27. I went around cars whenever I could and I was so thankful there were only a few red lights along the road. I slammed on my breaks in front of the emergency room doors as I ran inside the automatic doors.

"Bella Swan?" I breathed heavily to the nurse sitting behind the desk. "I'm her boyfriend, I need to see her," I tried to stay calm.

"They just took her back, I believe she is waiting for an ultrasound….she is Four B," the nurse told me.

"Thanks," I told her jogging back toward the patient rooms. I knocked lightly on the door as I entered. I saw her sitting on the bed; her eyes were red and puffy. Her mom and Jasper were also at her bedside, but I didn't even say hello, I made my way quickly to her and hugged her head to my chest. I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"It's okay….It is going to be okay," I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, Bella or myself.

"Bella Swan?" The nurse said entering the room.

"Yes," She said as I stepped back, I took her hand and stood next to her as the nurse asked her questions.

The nurse took her blood pressure, temperature, and other vital signs while she asked Bella about the bleeding. She wanted to know the color of the blood, the amount, if there was any pain.

"No, no pain….the blood was bright red and it dripped down my leg….I don't really know how much," Bella told her.

The nurse assured us a doctor would be in shortly and if twenty minutes is short to a doctor, then he came in shortly with the ultra sound machine. "Ms. Swan, I am Dr. Ross. I am just going to perform an ultrasound, hopefully detect what has caused your bleeding and make sure the baby is healthy. The gel maybe a little cold." Bella exposed her cute belly bump and winced a little when the cold gel was squeezed onto her stomach.

The doctor began the ultrasound and found the heartbeat. "Heartbeat is strong," he assured us as he moved the wand lower on her belly. "Did you want to know the sex? I have a good view," I looked at Bella and she smiled for the first time and nodded yes. "See this here; that is your son."

"A boy?" Bella asked. The doctor nodded at her, and I was still thankful there was a heartbeat….HIS heartbeat. "I told you it is a boy," Bella smiled up at me while the doctor continued to move along her stomach.

"You did," I told her kissing her forehead.

"It looks like you have a placenta previa Bella. That means that the placenta is covering the opening of your cervix."

"What does that mean?" I asked him squeezing Bella's hand gently.

"Since Bella, is less than twenty weeks pregnant, it could resolve on its own before delivery, as the uterus grows the placenta could move away from the cervix. You may need additional ultrasounds to track the position of the placenta. The longer placenta previa persists, the more likely it will be present at delivery," The doctor explained. "It is most likely due to Bella's uterus not being shaped correctly."

"What if it persists?" Renee asked from her chair.

"Most likely Bella's obstetrician will schedule her for a C-Section if it doesn't resolve. One of the biggest concerns with placenta previa is the risk of severe vaginal bleeding or hemorrhaging during labor, delivery or the first few hours after delivery. This condition is very serious. No intercourse, no tampons, bed rest for the time being, which means up and down only as needed. You don't want to do anything that may cause the placenta to detach itself. I don't want to scare you or upset you further, but you need to think about your wishes."

"My wishes?" Bella asked.

"Yes, your family and doctor should know which life to try and save first if it comes to that, if you do begin to hemorrhage, once the baby is viable, IF the placenta does not move."

"Bella could die?" I asked the doctor shocked. The baby could kill Bella?

My Angel….

"It is not likely, but it is possible. Placenta previa is touch and go. I just want you to be prepared."

"I am going to go call your doctor and let her know what is going on, she may want to see you," Dr. Ross said before exiting the room.

"Mom, Jasper, can I talk to Edward alone for a minute?" Bella asked her mother.

"Sure, baby. I'm going to go get some snacks, do you want anything?" Bella shook her head no as Renee and Jasper left the room.

"Don't pick me….I don't want you to pick me. Promise me Edward," Bella pleaded to me.

"Shhh…we don't have to talk about this right now. You heard the doctor in a few weeks it may not even be an issue. Let's have some faith," I told her.

"Edward, promise me. I need to know that his life will be put before mine."

"I'm not going to agree to something like that, Bella. I won't agree to that. We don't even know it will happen, or circumstances around it….I am not going to make a promise I can't keep. You are my life."

"Life," Bella mumbled.

"What about it?" I asked her.

"I mean, it sneaks up on you. Right? One day, you look at your life, and it has purpose all of a sudden and someone that makes you feel special. It's like, all of a sudden, all that time and pain that it took to get there, it just . . . doesn't matter anymore…. If I learned one thing about God this year, it's that he has a plan, and maybe the whole point of you and me, and every single moment we've shared together has just been leading us here. Maybe you and I are meant to create THIS life, because maybe this life is gonna change the world."

"I won't accept that we don't get a happy ending," I told her sternly.

"Don't you get it? He is the happy ending."

"Stop it, okay. I'm not going to talk to you like your dying."

"I need you to Edward. I need you to know that as a person, I was pretty lost. In the past year, I've been forced to grow up. I stopped letting sex and drugs define me and I started to believe in myself, and somewhere along the way, that lost little party girl finally grew up. All I want is to make sure you support me in making sure he has a life."

I closed my eyes and sunk into the chair next to Bella's bed. I took a few seconds before I opened my eyes and looked into hers before making my promise to her. "I promise you Bella, I will make the right choices for you and the baby IF it even comes to that."

BPOV

A year ago, if I was lying in my bed, unable to do anything other than go to the bathroom and doctor appointments I would have had said…fuck…my…life.

I could never say that now. I had a life growing inside of me. My little dude. He kicked, and shifted, and gave me heartburn, and he gave me the patience to endure the past four weeks I had spent on bed rest.

I continued to bleed, bright red, not as heavy though. Panty liners seemed to be enough to take care of the spotting. I had gotten more ultrasounds and unfortunately the placenta had not shifted or moved, it still covered most of my cervix. The doctors were worried, Edward was worried, and I tried my best not to act worried.

I would say Edward has been amazing to us, but really, he was only amazing to me. He got anything and everything I needed, helped me keep up on my school work, so I could graduate on time. Ever since that day in the hospital, he had distanced himself from my once cute belly. He barely touched it. He has yet to feel the baby move inside of me. He wouldn't even discuss baby names with me.

Edward walked into my room with the glass of chocolate milk that I requested and a strangled smile on his face.

"Babe, did you see the baby name book?" I asked him. "You didn't tell me if you liked any of the names I mentioned? We could name him after the awesome Bob Marley, ya know Marley…no? Marley Cullen…that is pretty gay. Cash? Like Johnny Cash…Cash Cullen…certainly cooler then Marley. Presley Cullen? I like the idea of a musical icon. What do you think?"

"Whatever you like." He told me, lying across the end of my bed on his stomach.

"Um..Jackson? Hendrix? Dylan? Tupac?" I tried to get a laugh out of him, with the last one.

"I didn't really look to be honest."

"Why are you acting like this?" I asked him.

"I'm scared of losing you. Bella, this is hard for me. I can't even think about losing you. It's hard to think that this isn't getting better," He told me.

"You can't talk like that. Look at everything we have overcome. We are going to beat this, we are going to get through this…..So, yeah, maybe something does happen to me, you are going to be okay." Edward shook his head at me and got off the bed, he began to pace around my room. "You can raise this baby on your own just like your mom did."

He stopped and looked at me, he looked so angry. "How am I supposed to feel about the baby that took you away from me?" He asked me.

"Are you kidding me? I don't worry about that for one second, because you are NOT that person! You will never be on your own. You have your mom, Carlisle, Rose, Emmett, God even Jasper and Alice would help….and I will haunt your ass if you ever have sex again," I said with a small laugh.

"How can you joke about this?" He asked me climbing in bed with me.

"Because I am scared," I told him as I wiped away a few tears.

"Edward come feel this," I told him placing my hand over the bulge in my stomach.

"Come feel what?" He asked me.

"Your son silly…he keeps moving all over…come feel it….Please?" Edward sat up and hesitantly put his hand over my stomach.

"You feel that?" I asked him. He nodded, I couldn't read any emotion on his face.

"It's okay for you to love this baby, it doesn't mean that you don't love me," I told him looking down at his hand as he pulled it away. "I'm not going anywhere. I am ready to fight, to do whatever I need to do to make sure you don't have to lose me. Please have some faith. God gave us the danger music this time; we know we might not have the time other people have, please let's make the best of it. Let's live." I pleaded with him.

He nodded at me.

"Did you see that cross on the side of Route 27 in Lynn?" I asked him.

"Yeah, where that young guy died?" He clarified.

"Ah huh, that one…. How could his mother have ever known that morning when he left it would be the last time she would ever see him again? With life, we never know when it's going to come to an end, so we live, and we never give up. We are thankful for today. Isn't that what people say? That today is a gift because it is the present?"

"It is," He said pulling me closer to him.

"Then let's embrace it, take it one day at time. I want to enjoy being pregnant. I just want to live one day at a time," I told him.

"Marry me Bella," Edward said grabbing my face between his hands.

I felt my eyes go wide, "What?" I asked. "I don't…" Edward didn't let me finish.

"I realize that none of the great days in my life matter without you. You're the one I want next to me when my dreams come true and you're the one I want next to me if they don't. As long as I have you... nothing else matters. Over the past year I've learned so much about life and love, and even if I could, I wouldn't take back all the bad stuff that's happened between us, cause it brought us here, to this moment. Marry me, Bella. I don't want to waste another day not attached to you."

"What will people think about how young I am?" I asked him.

"You're serious? Whoever says that you are too young, I say, hell you can drive at sixteen, go to war at eighteen, you can drink at twenty-one…..so, how old do you have to be before your love is real? What is age to us Bella? What has age ever been to us? Stop thinking about what other people will think, and tell me what do YOU want?"

"I want to love you forever," I told him, letting myself smile as his lips crashed into mine. We laughed against each other's lips.

"Edward Cullen, we've been through so much together, and despite how confused I've been or lost I might have gotten, you were always finding me, saving me. You deserve to be adored. So, that's what we're gonna do. The baby and I are going to adore you for years to come. I am so terribly in love with you, and I always will be. Yes Edward, I will marry you!"

So….REALLY wanna know what you think/feel…Tell me!!! Pretty Please? I will try to send teasers