Somewhere amongst all the continuous mood swings, the kisses he kept stealing from me, and his absolute refusal to talk about what had happened while I was out, or before.. with the note and the bomb - I fell back asleep for the rest of the night. Somewhere in that time frame, James had freshened up. When I woke up his hair was no longer tangled, and he didn't look like such a wreck.. He was still bordering a very dangerous edge mentally, but there was a bit more life in him overall.
He was still dressed tactically in all black, knives tucked in various places, and today he wore at least one gun on the webbing of his pants, but he looked a bit less ready to pounce if so much as a bird landed on the roof of the cabin. It helped my own anxiety lessen just a bit, and for that I was fucking thankful. Last night I hadn't been one hundred percent all there. Thinking back on it, my brain felt heavy and a little hazy, even when we started to argue.
Today was better.
The aches in my body weren't so bad and the bruising across my skin was healing nicely, only a few purple spots left - the rest having faded to greens and yellows of various shades. My hair, which I expected to be a rat's nest, was surprisingly almost completely tangle free...? Which I wasn't sure how was possible unless Bucky had brushed my hair while I was unconscious...? The thought was almost too odd to even imagine.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I found I had too much pent up energy.. a side effect of being in bed for days. While I knew I wasn't ready to go bouncing off the walls, I at least wanted to get up and out of the room for a bit.. take a shower at the very least.
"James?" I questioned, watching as he fitted pieces of an assault rifle back together.
He grunted to show he was listening.
"Can I take these off?" I wiggled my hands in the air dramatically to emphasis the bandages decorating my hands and fingers.
He gazed at my small, carefully wrapped hands for several moments before looking up at my face. I tried not to seem overly impatient waiting for his answer as I nibbled on my bottom lip and fidgeted under his stare. Finally, he lifted one hand and crooked a finger at me, motioning for me to come over to him.
Sliding off of the bed, I once again made my way carefully around all the mass destruction he had inflicted on the poor and once beautiful room. When I got within grabbing distance, he reached out and snagged my wrist, his overly warm and rough hand wrapping around it completely as he tugged me closer. Slowly, he pealed back some of the gauze-bandages over my fingers, checking the skin underneath.
"Are they bothering you?" he questioned, fiddling with the bandages lightly.
"No, but I want a shower."
He accepted my answer with a silent nod and continued unwrapping my hands for me, checking each inch of skin that was revealed.. I finally figured out why he had bandaged them like he had. While the aches were mostly gone from my hands, the skin was still littered with lacerations and ugly discoloration.. Some of the most prominent of the bruising was around a few of my knuckles. My face must have betrayed my surprise.
"You jammed several fingers." He informed casually, the statement sounded familiar. He had mentioned that before I had passed out, hadn't he? "Hairline fracture in this one." He said, tapping my ring finger on my left hand. Pain zig-zagged through my nerves at his touch.. It wasn't intolerable, but it was definitely annoying.
"I'll take it easy." I promised, knowing it was probably the only way he'd let me go take a shower. I was desperate to feel clean. He had taken very good care of me while I was unconscious, all things considered.. But still, I was going to probably lose what was left of my mind if I didn't get a hot shower as soon as humanly possible.
Giving me a pointed look, he nodded once again. I could tell there was a silent 'you better' that he wasn't saying.
Once I had the 'Wardens' approval to leave confinement, I headed over to inspect the items he had gotten while I had been out. There were tons of new clothes in the bag meant for me, all of it was stuff like I had owned before. Jeans, sweats, shorts, shirts, tank tops, panties, bras, socks.. All the correct sizes too. He really paid attention didn't he?
He had apparently remembered the type of razors and deodorant I preferred too.. Hell, he had even got the shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the same vanilla scent I always got to share with him... My heart clenched fitfully in my chest, he was so wonderfully weird and attentive in his own way.
Fucking hell, I was getting emotional about soap.
Pulling myself together, I gathered up everything I thought I'd need. Turning to ask Bucky where the bathroom was - he had been anticipating this apparently, as he was already pointing towards one of the doors connecting to the room we were currently occupying.
"Thank you." I wonder if he knew I meant that for more than just directions.
The bathroom was big and spacious, not unlike the bedroom, it was decorated in roughly the same color scheme as well. Ivory and royal blue, and fuck, if everything didn't look way too fucking fancy for me to be standing here.. Talk about luxury. There was a huge garden tub and a walk in shower, and all of it was utterly gorgeous.. Damn, did the tub have jets? How the hell had he found this place?! And why was it unoccupied?! If I owned a place this nice.. I don't think I'd ever leave.
I stood unsurely, the fuzzy blue floor mat tickling my toes as I looked back and forth between the shower and the tub. Shower is quicker.. but come on, it would be a crime to not use that bath.. Plus, James did say to take it easy..
As I waited for the bathtub to fill, I inspected my body a bit more carefully in the grand mirror. My hair lacked tangles, but it also appeared lifeless, it was hanging limply around my body. Which, upon closer inspection, looked sickly and paler than usual. Combine all that with the bruises and the cuts of various shades of red.. I definitely wasn't a poster for attractive or healthy. Hell, I wanted to cringe just looking at me. I looked like I had managed to crawl out of hell.. which I guess was kind of impressive. Though, I suppose that isn't too weird when you go flying out a window and an explosion blasts you into the next building.
The hot water lapped at all my bruises and injuries making me hiss in both pleasure and annoyance as I submerged myself. Once the initial pain wore off, I reclined slowly, letting the water work it's magic. I almost felt weightless after a while. The water was absolutely divine on my skin, it was like a massage I wasn't even aware I needed.. But it greatly appreciated all the same.
I stayed in the bath for longer than I should have, even after I managed to do everything that I needed to. Which including washing my hair, scrubbing carefully at my skin and most of all, shaving. The hot water had chased away the remnants of my aches and pains, leaving me with only a few stiff joints and an overwhelming hunger. Now that I felt human again, I needed food as soon as possible.
Stepping out of the bathroom I was met with the sight of James standing near the table that had until quite recently, contained guns and ammo. Now it was filled with various foods... bacon, eggs, some fried potatoes, buttered bread, sausage.. orange juice. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement.. did.. did Bucky do this? By himself? It had to be him.. There was no one else here.. But.. too cook all this? To take the time...
I met his gaze with a quick flick of my eyes, he was watching me carefully, as if observing my reaction.
"You.. know how to cook?" I questioned. Suddenly remembering all that time he had me cook.
"Only what you cooked." He explained.
Wait, what?
Oh..
Oh!
Bucky had a habit of watching me back at the cabin in Canada.. even when he was avoiding me, he generally watched over whatever I cooked.. he had.. learned through me?
"You don't.." I cleared my throat anxiously as I stepped forward. "You don't remember cooking.. back then?" I probed.
He shook his head.
"I see."
Was there anything he couldn't do, honestly? He could learn to cook by watching me? That type of memory.. fucking hell.. he was so unfair. Unreal, even. It was hard to believe he was real.. even when I could reach out and touch him.
"Sit and eat." He demanded as I skirted the edge of the chair he had occupied the previous night. For someone who didn't remember how to cook and had just put into practice what he watched me do... this looked ridiculously mouth watering. It's like he read my fucking mind while I was in the bath.. He was always a step ahead, always aware of my needs before even I was.
"Wait, if you learned to cook through me, why was I always the one cooking?!" I turned to look up at his face, but he quickly grabbed a hold of my shoulder and shoved me down into the chair, firmly. The corner of his mouth twitched lightly.
"I like it better when you cook." He deadpanned. His eyes flickered with amusement briefly before they once again emptied.
I huffed.
Of course. Of-fucking-course.
"Now eat." He said firmly.
"What about you?" I questioned, gesturing to the food while I picked up the fork.
He rose a singular brow in response.
"I can't eat all of this by myself, it's too much. You need to eat too, James."
He didn't make any move to join me, just stared at me in that intense way of his.
"Pretty please?" I smiled at him and wiggled my eyebrows, trying to lighten up his still darkened mood just a bit. He needed to eat.. Even bad-ass super-soldiers needed nutrients. They needed a lot of nutrients actually.. I had long since figured out how much Bucky could eat if he actually took the time to.
With an almost sigh of annoyance, he joined me for breakfast.
- x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x -
I had spent the last ten minutes trying to focus on reading one of the books I had found tucked away in the duffle bags... Again, a simple object threatened to overwhelm me with emotions. When James had gotten new supplies, he hadn't just gotten the bare minimum. He had literally tried to replace all that we had lost, even the few items that I had for entertainment. I was beyond touched by the gesture.. if that wasn't thoughtful and sweet, I wasn't sure what was.
The reason I couldn't focus though?
James. Always James.
He was sitting next to me on the bed, eyes closed, seemingly relaxing. I knew he wasn't sleeping, but I was a bit surprised that he was lounging with me. Though, I suppose the mental-hell he went through while I was knocked out must have been hard on him... James didn't do well when he was trapped in his own head for too long.. However, it wasn't just his presence that was distracting my mind from the book in front of me, it was his hand.
The cool, metal hand that was taking advantage of the fact I had chosen to wear shorts by gripping onto my thigh, his thumb rubbing ridiculously pleasant circles across my skin.. Every so often, his fingers would glitch and grip just a bit too hard, biting into the tender flesh of the inside of my thigh, It was maddening, in more ways than one.
"As much as I don't mind sporting bruises on my thighs from you, how about I take a look at your arm?" I kept my voice light and teasing as I spoke, trying to appear more playful than worried.
The corner of his mouth twitched as his eyebrows rose at my comment. He didn't move, just continued rubbing slow circles on my thigh.
Fine then, time to appeal to his logical nature.
"I imagine on your mission of annihilating all of Hydra, you'd be better off with two perfectly functional arms."
He grunted.
"Is that a yes?" I prodded further. I really wanted to take a look at his arm.. I didn't like that he was at a disadvantage.. didn't like him vulnerable when I could do something to help. He protected me, all the god damn time.. I could do this for him.
Sighing, he opened his eyes to meet my overcast gray orbs, with a quick flick of his eyes across my face he removed his hand off my thigh and slid off the bed He almost seemed resigned as he headed for our bags. I watched his strong back as he sauntered across the room, something about watching the way his muscles shifted and moved underneath his shirt always mesmerized me..
He should really consider just.. not wearing a shirt, ever.
Crouching down to balance on his toes, he pulled two items from two separate bags, one of them looked to be a case of some sort? The other I couldn't get a real good look at. Standing up straight, he headed back towards me, his eyes meeting mine decisively. Guess that was a yes.
Sitting up, I stretched to set my now closed book onto the foot of the bed, shifting to sit crisscrossed as Bucky returned to his side of the bed, handing me the items he had grabbed. One was a brand new case of tools for my tinkering, the other was a case of various mechanical parts. Some of them weird and foreign looking, while others were easily recognizable. Had he found a Hydra base while I had been unconscious? Or had he taken these from somewhere else?
Bucky settled down with his back against the once-beautiful headboard, leaving his trembling metal arm to rest leisurely next to him. Shifting slowly, I moved up to sit next to him, both cases within grabbing distance as I moved his forearm into my lap to get a better look at what I was dealing with.
Eyeing his handsome face for one long moment, I turned my attention onto the magnificent creation in front of me.. I had admired it's craftsmanship before, but I never thought I'd get a chance to see how the insides worked. From what I could tell, that was were all the damage had to be. Whatever metal the outside was made of, it was still in pristine condition, not one single fucking scratch on it. It looked just as shiny and foreboding as it always did.. A completely magnificent and perfect reverse image of his human arm. It honestly was astonishing - despite where it came from.
I couldn't help but sweep my hands up and over his metal arm slowly, letting my fingers glide over each smooth plate that made up his perfectly proportioned arm. Whoever had designed this, while probably insane, was a genius. The metal plates were formed with such care and precision that it was utterly flawless.. They formed each and every muscle perfectly to match his other arm.. It was almost so impeccable in fact.. that it was hard to think someone from Hydra had made it. It had been designed for destruction and death, a way to make him better when he had lost his arm.. and yet, they had put such care into it... made it beautiful. Or.. maybe I was biased? Biased because I loved tinkering, and this was absolutely breathtaking work.. Or.. perhaps I was biased because it was a part of James.
Now, the real question.. How the fuck do you get to the inside mechanics?
Opening my mouth, I turned to look up at Bucky. He was already staring at me in a way that had my insides melting and my heart aching, my words catching in my throat. Without saying anything, he reached over and touched a series of metal plates on his arm. Gears whirred underneath my hands and suddenly, several of the plates shifted to expose a small section of the inside of his arm. Whoa.
He must have realized I wouldn't know what to do..
Swallowing hard, I pulled my gaze from his and tried to focus on my task. Come on hormones, now isn't the time. He's had a very hard few days, and we almost died in an explosion.. Before that we...
I felt the heat creep up my neck at the memory of his mouth latched onto my neck and his thick fingers thrusted deep inside me...
Fuck!
Taking a deep and rather exaggerated soothing breath, I shoved the memory of that day as far back into my brain as I possibly could. I had a job to do.. Bucky needed his arm to be in perfect working order. Without it, he wouldn't be one-hundred percent.. And without a one-hundred percent Super-Soldier, chances were Crossbones would get his wish and we'd be dead very soon.
The section he had opened for me, while vastly complicated, was definitely damaged. Fuck, alright, I could do this... I could so do this. No worse than the tracking necklace I was still wearing. That had much smaller tech inside of it.. In comparison, this should be relatively simple, right? Right.
I spent the next several minutes working in complete silence, but I could feel the weight of his gaze on me.. I could feel it like it was a physical entity, sweeping across my face and then down to watch my hands work carefully on his arm. I thought his gaze would be distracting, or even nerve-wracking.. But if it did anything, it only inspired me to not fuck up that much more.
This was something I was good at, I wouldn't let him down. I couldn't.
"Where did you learn to do this?" The deep rumble of his voice made me jump slightly when I reached for another tool. Shifting my gaze, I met his eyes as he stared at me curiously.
"What, this?" I inquired, waving the tool in my hand in the air for emphasis. He nodded.
"Well.. I got my love of books, mainly fantasy, from my mother.. Dad, however, loved to take apart and build things. He had just started to teach me before the accident.." I smiled sadly, focusing my attention back down on his arm. Clearing my throat, I continued on. "I used to love sitting and watching him work... After they passed, I learned everything I could. My Grandparents even helped me sign up for some classes." I shrugged one shoulder as I finished my story.
"And you enjoy it?"
I nodded. "It's relaxing, like reading is."
He hummed in the back of his throat before retreating back into silence.
He didn't ask anymore questions the rest of the time I worked on his arm, just watched me as I did so. Every time I needed to examine a new section of his arm, he'd open the panels for me without me needing to ask, always a step ahead. My eyes felt a little tired once I had finished, but the tremors in his arm were completely gone now, and I couldn't help but feel extremely proud of myself.
Putting all of the tools away, I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. Fuck, that made my brain feel mushy.. I had been concentrating ridiculously hard.
"Katarina." His voice was raspy, deep, and downright sinful in the way he said my name.
Turning to look up at him, his metal arm latched onto the back of my neck firmly, pulling me into his mouth. His kiss was scalding and fierce as he bruised my lips with his appreciation. I couldn't help but groan against his mouth as I reached up and tangled my fingers into his dark hair, immediately submitting to his touch. His nipped at my bottom lip roughly, and then soothed the pain away with a quick flick of his tongue before repeating the process until I was practically dizzy with want.
Far too soon, he pulled away, his nose brushing mine as he caught my eyes with his.
"Thank you."
I could only nod in response.. Hell, if that's how he was thanking me from now on... I was done for.
Pulling away from me, he slid off the bed and flexed his arm. I watched as he lifted and rotated the shoulder and flexed his fingers several times, testing it out. Nothing glitched, nothing faltered. Turning, he met my gaze and his lip quirked in a subtle, pleased, smirk. Fucking.. hell.. That is a panty-dropping smirk.
He's so god damn unfair..
Turning, he walked back across the room to grab one of the heavier looking dufflebags. Shifting on his heal, he dropped it with a rather loud 'thunk' onto the table.
"Come here." He demanded suddenly, his voice back in that 'no-nonsense' tone.
Quirking an eyebrow, I hopped off the bed and headed over to him as he unzipped the large bag. Inside was far too many guns that had been meticulously packed to fit neatly inside.
That's a lot of fire power.
"Pick one." He commanded, crossing his arms over his broad chest, watching me curiously.
Okay, this was new.
Hello lovelies! I have returned now that con is over! For those of you that were worried I had given up this story.. I had explained previously that I wouldn't really be posting until after all the con-crunch was over and done with. And now that it is, I can go back to giving the majority of my attention to this story like it deserves! Con was fantastic, but I'm glad all the stress of sewing and working with foam is over. I had actually meant to get this chapter out to you guys a few days ago, but I underestimated how much time I would need to rest after con. I was exhausted! As it is, I hope this chapter is okay and that you guys like it. It took me several days of re-working to be semi-happy with it... So I really hope you all enjoy it. As it is, I have yet to eat today so my brain is kind of mushy, so I'm off to get some food and relax my over-worked brain. I have missed all of you! Read and Review, until next time! ~