Second part of a double update. Don't skip the previous chapter, that seems to happen when I double update for some reason.
Ascending and Descending. Symbolism!
Cheesy goodness, I ramble, you know the works.
:P
"Now that looks like an easier way to get where we're going," Sazh said, looking down the path of the elevator.
"Let's take it," Snow said eagerly. "Wouldn't want you to throw your back out climbing, old man."
"You really are a charmer, aren't ya?"
Charon held his hand out and the doors whirred open. The cabin was lit and still active with power. The others piled in and Sai and Lightning did maintenance checks to see if everything was in order.
"Looks like we're all good," Sai said.
"We better be," Lightning said cautiously. "We're putting our lives on the line here."
"Hira and the other Menhirrim would've never chosen a dangerous elevator," Charon said. "This thing should be able to connect and disconnect to the wall there, meaning once we get to the bottom, this thing'll turn into a mini Atomos that we can drive around anywhere. And it's a little less bulky than Atomos."
Charon let Sai hold Shu as the others took positions in the elevator.
"So how is this supposed to work?" Snow asked. "You can't see outside of this thing."
"I can. It's like Atomos, just as I said. I'll be able to steer it, and thanks to the wide surface area of the wheel, we'll be able to easily ride over those crystal sand dunes we saw back there. Hold on tight."
Charon put his hand on the controls and closed his eyes, connecting with the technology. He seemed to have a knack for it, connecting to technology like Shu connected with plants. Another piece of evidence that they were opposites, but together they could probably solve any situation.
The lever that activated the elevator moved itself, the doors to the elevator closing and a jolt going through the cabin as they began to descend. It was a smooth ride to the bottom of the broken half of the tower, and then they felt like they were on a roller coaster as the wheel rode over the sandy dunes and closer to Oerba. After a short ride, the wheel came to a stop.
"That's it, can't go any further," Charon reported. "The path is too small for the wheel thanks to the mountains, but it's a relatively short walk. Let's hurry."
The doors opened, and Lightning was the first to jump out, Vanille and Hope carefully climbing down with Fang right behind them, Sazh and Snow going out the other door and coming around, stretching as they looked around, while Sai and Charon worked together to careful extract Shu. Charon gave Shu another piggyback ride as Shu muttered small things about chickens.
"What the heck are they dreaming about?" Sai wondered.
Charon chuckled. "Dunno. But it's hilarious."
"You love it."
Sai walked off to join the others, but Charon was sighing lightly behind him. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
It had been too long since Charon had let himself admit that, to admit to loving anything about Shu. The truth was, he did. He loved every little thing, how Shu breathed, how Shu slept. He loved the beating of their heart against his, the dead weight in his arms as Shu lightly snored, sleeping with their mouth open and speaking in their sleep. After everything they'd gone through, it was pretty mundane, as well as a breath of fresh air. With all the fighting and crying and emotional roller coasters, the hint of a normal life made Charon…happy.
Cocoon looked much bigger now that they were growing closer to it. In the crystal dust, there were actual crystals still intact, clinging to the rock that was exposed in the mountains like weeds. Maybe they were crystal weeds. Shu would be unhappy to know that their plants had turned to crystal.
Charon had been right, it was a pretty short walk until they reached the village, but there were some Cie'th along the path, Vampires just like the ones from Taejin's tower, but also Taxim - who had a Wail attack that could leave any within the area with Daze. When they reached the town itself, there were even more Cie'th roaming the streets, Vampires, Varcolaci, Taxims, Chonchon bat things, as well as little weird ones that were just heads and hands connected to them - Seekers. No matter how weird, they still hit pretty hard with Magic Blasts where they gathered energy in their big hands, launched themselves up, and then fell back down to slam the energy into a wide area blast. All it took was teamwork to defeat them though.
"This doesn't look good," Sazh muttered.
"Clear the area," Charon ordered. "The Cie'th here aren't very frequent in numbers."
Oerba was in ruins, that was clear enough, but it looked better than Sai had predicted. There were buildings made of metal that had survived the long years, rather than pure stone buildings that would have been crumbling at this point. There were a bunch of windmills that were actually still turning, as well as a large bridge that led over to the crystal dunes across the sea a distance away. The ocean still continued, of course, all the way to the horizon and beyond. There was, what appeared to be, an oil ring still standing in the distance over the water. The bridge seemed to lead to that as well, but it had been broken off before reaching either of its destinations.
There was a large tree overgrown in the village, and Shu woke up because apparently, it had been talking to them with a loud voice.
"Inside voice, Adam," Shu mumbled. Apparently, the tree had apologized. "Thanks. It's okay, you're forgiven."
They found a Waystone beside the large tree; Snow, Lightning, and Vanille heading over to handle that mission. Apparently, it was a large swarm of Ceratosaurs, and the ground shook from the Ruinga spells that Lightning had recently learned, blowing all those fish-frogs up.
"Well that sounded fun," Sai said to them when they got back.
Snow cracked his neck, rubbing it. "Yeah, well those little critters pack a punch. Had to defend the entire way through while being healed by Vanille. Thanks though."
She nodded. "No problem."
"Your head's hard enough to take it," Lightning shrugged. "Anyway, it wasn't a very interesting battle to note."
They headed to the village center where the houses were located, scattered about in different places like trailer homes, a couple stacked on top of each other.
"Which is your house?" Hope asked.
"What do you mean which is ours?" Vanille exclaimed. "All of them! They're all ours."
"Yep," Fang agreed. "Everyone in the village lived together."
"One big happy family?" Snow asked.
"One heck of a lot of places to hang your hat," Sazh admired, crossing his arms.
"So, where can we stay?" Sai asked. "Particularly a place where we can get Shu their rest."
"Come on, this way," Fang said.
She guided them to the largest of the homes, going up the stairs and opening the door. Vanille was the last to follow, lagging behind and looking up at the place they had grown up.
"We're back…"
The others looked back for her, and she ran to catch up.
"So…you wanna take a look around?" Hope asked. "While we're waiting for Shu to recover, I mean."
"We'd better," Fang said. "We gotta find something to help us lose these brands."
"That's not the only reason we're here," Sazh piped up. "You're finally home. Make the most of it."
"You never thought that you'd make it back, admit it," Sai said. "I was skeptical that you'd ever get here, but here we are. Ruins or not, this place is beautiful, and you might as well enjoy the fact that this is your home and we made it here against all odds."
There was a Vetala or two inside the houses, and in all honesty, it was as annoying as finding a spider, just sitting there in your house, doing nothing, maybe moving a bit, but they were in your freaking house. It took a small debate on whether or not to just let the guy stay there and just let him be or to jump in a fight. Needless to say, finding a Ghoul Cie'th just slumped over, unsure if it was alive or dead, was slightly more unnerving - even scarier than an active Vetala that was trying to kill you.
"It's just a Cie'th on the verge of becoming a Cie'th Stone," Charon shrugged. "Ignore it. Now, where are the beds?"
Fang showed them up the stairs and to the second floor where there was actually a very cozy place, relatively safe from the elements. There was a place to hang your coat and lockers where someone might store something, with a pretty advanced electrical box up on the wall, a kitchen filled with old pots that definitely suggested communal cooking, shelves full of the belongings of the previous owners, a vanity with jewelry, a cool U shaped couch, windows that were resistant to temperature, fans, a clock, lights, lamps, tile decorations on the walls, and a carpeted floor that Sai could easily imagine groups of people gathering together on for family events - nice a cozy. There were books, vases, and a little rocking chair with a chocobo stuffed animal (that one Shu perked up for because they grabbed the chocobo and hugged it tight) on the shelves, and even a picture of Fang and Vanille on the table next to a necklace that resembled Vanille's. Sai even noticed electrical outlets and a proper ventilation system. Oerba was pretty advanced, despite how primitive it might've seemed on the outside.
"Ah! Bhakti!" Vanille exclaimed.
She kneeled down to a small little rover robot with cylinder eyes popping out of its body and the lids that opened up to reveal those eyes resembling eyebrows. It had an antenna tail and four little legs with wheels on them. Somehow, it still had power and recognized Vanille, rolling forward to her across the floor and making small beeping noises.
"Friend of yours?" Sazh asked.
"Yeah!" She petted the small chassis between Bhakti's eyes. "You're okay. I was worried."
The little machine whirred and beeped before its little legs collapsed from underneath it, the antenna fell back down thanks to gravity, and its eyes fell closed with one final beep.
"Huh?" Vanille exclaimed in disappointment.
"He wanted to say goodbye," Fang said, a hand on her hip.
"He's not ready for the scrap heap just yet," Sazh said, stepping forward.
Sai kneeled down and picked up the small drone. "He's a bit worse for wear, yeah, but nothing that can't be fixed. You called him Bhakti?" Vanille nodded. "We can get him up and running again if we have the right parts, and since these mobile homes of yours are so well built, there's bound to be some protected parts around here somewhere that are still in good enough condition. I've always wanted to study Pulse tech, and this is the perfect opportunity."
"We should be able to find all of the necessary replacement parts in Oerba," Fang said.
Vanille hopped up. "Yay! Let's hurry!"
Charon, meanwhile, took Shu to the bedrooms where he found triple-decker beds. There was a modesty curtain, but beyond that, there was little to no privacy. Charon took Shu over to the bunk beds, setting them on the lowest one on the left side next to the window so that Shu would have the sun, but Shu protested that they wanted top bunk (almost as though they had practice calling dibs on it before, which they probably did) and Charon chuckled, unable to resist. He pulled Shu into his arms again, taking a deep breath and pushing upwards. He expected a surge of pain, even when he knew that Dahaka's curse had been lifted when the fal'Cie had died, but he lifted just as easily as normal. He gently hovered Shu up to the top bunk and set them down.
"Thanks, Chare-Bear," They said.
"I told you not to call me that," He said lightly.
"When we're alone," Shu corrected. "The others are going on hunting missions and looking for robot parts. You get to look after me."
Charon smiled. "I'm fine with that. Now, let me see if I can't get this place up and running. The circuitry is still mostly intact, but the water supply is covered in crystal dust. I'll go see if I can filter it out and get you some water."
Charon headed outside first to get the water running, checking the system for clogs by running his hand along the side of the building. On the bright side, all the pipes were in good condition, on the bad side, the crystal dust mixed with the water had settled into the pipes, creating major clogs like blood clots. It made for unhealthy water as well as a slow stream of it. Good thing he was good with stuff like this. He headed down to where the pipes met the water, digging through the crystal dust that had settled in the water. There were filters already on the pipes, but they had long since expired and weren't meant for this concentration of crystal dust. Charon placed a Kozuka on the end of the pipe. It shifted and expanded into a filter on the pipe for future use. He sent a small gust of destructive smoke down the pipe to get rid of the crystal clots, flying into the house again to turn in the faucet and see the smoke pour out, much more than he had put in since it was turning all of the crystal to smoke as well.
He waved clean one of the large pots and collected some clean water, the stream working perfectly again. He returned to the sleeping area, moving a shelf over so that he could keep the water close to Shu in case they needed it. He flew up to Shu but was terrified to find that Shu was gone. He stayed calm, flying out and up above the village to think about where Shu would be. He instantly remembered the large, overgrown tree that Shu had spoken to before - Adam. He flew over there quickly, touching down and searching around the large roots.
"Shu?"
He had to fly around the larger roots that would've normally prevented anyone else from getting past and rounded the tree to find Shu resting in a little bed of greenery, sleeping against the tree trunk and protected by its roots. Charon sighed in relief, realizing that this was probably a good place for Shu. He flew back to the house and grabbed the large pot of water, hurry back and setting it near Shu. The roots around Shu tightened their grip on them protectively when Charon approached, but it caused Shu to stir and wave for them to loosen their grip again.
"It's just Charon, Addie. He's good."
"Addie?" Charon asked.
"Adam. He's protective of me. He was my first tree. He's like my eldest son. He's been looking after this village ever since I left."
"That means he's…hundreds of years old?"
Shu nodded. "Yup. Trees can do that, especially my trees."
He chuckled. "I have no doubt about that. Anyway, tell Adam that you need water. I brought some, freshly filtered of all that crystal."
Shu held their hands out. "Gimme, gimme."
Charon chuckled and handed over the pot. Shu promptly stuck their face into the pot and absorbed the water through their skin and hair. Yup, that was Shu.
A moment later, Shu popped back out, looking refreshed. "Much better! Come here, cuddle time."
Charon was allowed past the wall of roots and scooted close to Shu, wrapping an arm around their waist and leaning against them.
Shu chuckled. "Only a near death experience will make you cuddle me. I'll keep that in mind next time you're filled with crushing self-doubt."
"Please don't. I don't wanna see that again."
"I'll try. But you really were an idiot."
"I know. I still am one."
Shu shifted just slightly. "You should've let me in sooner."
"I know."
"You should've let me help you."
"I know."
"You should've forgiven yourself."
"I know."
"You shouldn't have shut me out and tried to handle everything on your own and made yourself so unhappy because you were afraid of love!" Shu's grip on him tightened and so did the tree roots around them. "You shouldn't have made me suffer like that just because you were an idiot! I hate you! I hate every fiber of your being!"
"And you have every right to!" Charon snapped.
"Shut up! It's my turn! I hate you! I that I can't hate you! I hate that I still love you! That I still trust you! That I would still do anything for you! That if you said you loved me, I would forgive you without a second thought because, by Etro, I love you and I can't ever stop! I hate that after everything that you've put me through, I can't find any way to hate you, you son of a…"
Shu broke off into sobs and Charon hugged them angrily. "I hate myself. I hate everything that I've done, and I hate that this pain, this guilt, it won't go away! I don't know what to do, but it won't stop and every time I look at you, it just gets worse because I'm reminded that I hurt you! You, the perfect angel that's above me in so many ways, that I had for just a short amount of time but who made me happy when I'd been broken for so long. You fixed me, a broken wreck, the moment I met you. I have no idea how you did it, I still don't know how you do it, but you brighten the world around you, you help people without even meaning to just thanks to your presence, and when I thought that my life could never be fixed, that I could never have happiness again, you come along and take centuries' worth of misery and blow it all away just like that. You saved me, Shu, and I…what did I do in return? I dragged you down with me into this pit of despair."
"I wouldn't ask that it was different," Shu admitted quietly.
"I highly doubt that."
"I wouldn't wish that I'd never met you, that I'd never loved you, that I'd never been through all of this heartbreak with you."
"I killed Rei."
"I know that, you know that, but regretting it won't change it. We should be honoring her memory, not…not letting it drive us apart." Shu sniffled. "I know that if she were here, watching us like this, she'd be telling me not to be sad over her, to not let her death come between us. The last thing she would've wanted was to make me lose you because of her. I wanna remember her in a good way, not as the thing that made you and I…"
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…and…and what else can I say to make you know I mean it…?"
"It's okay. I believe you. I should loathe your presence, your voice, your words and touch, but I can't. If it comes back to bite me later, then…it would hurt so much. I…I don't think I'd be able to go on…b-because I love you s-so much and I can never stop…"
"Do you know how much it hurt when you hated me? I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. It felt like someone was constantly stabbing me through the stomach. No, being stabbed would be a mercy compared to how it felt without you." Charon rested his head against Shu's shoulder. "Is it supposed to get easier?"
Shu shook their head. "No. It's supposed to hurt like hell. 'Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable.'"
For some reason, Charon found himself giggling. He had gone mad, he was sure of it. "This…this is so stupid. I was so stupid. I've been dreading this conversation so much that I…and now we're here and it's…nothing like I expected."
"You expected more yelling and heartbreak?"
"A little more, yeah."
Shu hiccupped. "Don't you ever do that again. Never!"
"Never," Charon promised. "Never again, I swear. It was hell for me too, you know. It still is. I don't know how to make the pain go away. I just know that losing you will make it permanent. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're the only one I have left."
"What about…?" Shu stopped themself. "I mean…I guess…wow. I never thought about it that way. I've been so wrapped up in myself that I…I didn't realize…I'm sorry, Chare."
He shook his head. "I'm the one that's been pushing you to your limits."
"That's no excuse."
"You've had to put on a brave face for a long time now, and I just made that worse."
"You've been through more than enough too. Can we just call it squaresies and start over? We're all that each other has left, and we need to stick together."
He nodded. "I'd like that."
"Can we also just…stay like this? Just for a little while."
Charon nodded without a word, relaxing against Shu like he hadn't done in ages. His hand began to tremble, his body screamed that this wasn't what he deserved, but Shu just gripped his closed fist without opening their eyes.
"You've been having panic attacks, huh?"
"Yeah…I guess so. I never realized they were panic attacks, but…I guess they were, huh? Sai says that he had to be trained to help people going through trauma and stuff. He said that he can't fix everything, but he did know how to help a little. It got especially worse when we started arguing, like…really arguing."
"You should've told me. There's an herb I use that makes good tea for post-traumatic stress."
"Really?"
Shu nodded. "Back when I got lost that one time, the time that I met Styx, I started to have panic attacks all the time. Every time Rei went out of my sight, I would start to feel terrified that she was gone again, that I was all alone and that she wasn't coming back for me. I didn't wanna be alone." Shu turned and held up Charon's twitching hand. "It's usually a tremor in your hand." Shu poked him in the stomach. "Or one in your gut. Or both." Shu traced their hand up his torso to his chest. "There's this twisting in your chest that makes it hard to breathe." They slid their hand up to the back of Charon's head, running their fingers through his hair. "And then there's this pain in your head sometimes, your mind wandering away to the darkest times of your life and making you believe the worst. It's the relinquishing of logic, when you're no longer in control of yourself. At least, that's how it is for me. I'm trapped inside a pit of my own sorrow, running from something that's inside of me. Like there's a demon inside of me, dashing around and blowing stuff up and I can't get him out."
"So…what makes it better?"
Shu shrugged. "My sister, for one. She knew what had happened and she helped me through it. She would always hug me without a word when I started to cry, she'd always know the right thing to say when I was afraid of something." Shu traced their finger over the back of Charon's hand. "It takes having the right people by your side. I guess that was why when Barthandelus took me, I just lost it. That little demon did so much damage that he broke out."
Charon sat up. "You remember what happened to you?"
"A little. I guess it's as good a time as any to compare notes about what happened back at the tower."
Charon nodded.
"Zanmato…brought me back to life?" Shu repeated as they walked back to the house.
They figured that the others would be waiting for them there, and Adam apparently had the entire village under his roots - or rather, above his roots, so he could be there if anything were to threaten them.
"Your big sword reformed your body, but you only woke up when Zanmato stabbed you," Charon said.
Shu looked down at their body, the large gap in their torso still there, but the smaller cuts in much better condition than before. "That explains the light."
"What light?"
Charon looked closer to see the dim red and purple glow inside the wiring of Shu's fal'Cie body.
"Zanmato gave me back my life," Shu guessed.
"That…that's impossible. Zanmato should only be able to kill, not…"
"Not revive? What if that's only because you never learned how? I mean, when did you first discover Zanmato's power?"
"Back when…back when Barthandelus first enlisted me. He summoned Zanmato from my chest, said that it was always inside me and that it would help me do his dirty work."
"Zanmato was born from a time when you were helpless, filled with rage, had everything you'd ever loved taken from you. It was a dark point in your life, and it helped you by having a dark purpose - the destruction of any enemies who got in your way and threatened your happiness. But you couldn't use it against Barthandelus because he had that deal with you. Now, you…you've mended your life, just a little. You used Zanmato on me, or at least Zanmato was summoned to help me unconsciously, because you loved me, because it was being used to preserve the light in your life rather than cutting down the darkness."
"How philosophical."
"You love it. But it's true. I think that Zanmato isn't just a blade for killing, it's a blade that reflects you and your desires, wanting to protect you. When your life was falling apart, and you were trapped in a dark place, Zanmato was destructive and chaotic. Now that that's changed, thanks to me no less, Zanmato can be a force for good and help carve a path to a future that you want."
Charon hesitated for a moment before casually taking Shu's hand. "Well, what future did you have in mind?"
Shu smiled. "Actually, that relates to something that I saw with Styx, but I might as well get the darker stuff outta the way first, so we can end on a high note." Shu took a deep breath. "Styx showed me that in my captivity, Barthandelus simply used the prospect of Rei being in his possession to get me to make that deal with him, but I never gave in fully and so that's why he can't control me like he can you. Like I told you with my panic attacks, I was always terrified of being without Rei, and hearing that Barthandelus had taken her…there was this unstoppable tremor that went through me, so much fear and pain that just wouldn't go away. The one person who always comforted me was gone, and I was terrified of being alone, of being without my sister. Eventually, the pressure and fear got to me and…I gave in."
"But Barthandelus kept you a lot longer than any of us had thought, he kept you for all these centuries and then released you out into the world to specifically guide the l'Cie and help them become stronger, so they could destroy Cocoon. You thought that you had been going back and forth between Cocoon and Pulse in your search for your sister, but that was all a lie. Who knows what else he did to you…?"
"Either way, we ended up together, for all the ups and downs. When I was dead, I met Styx. Her death brought her to a place called 'Valhalla,' where there was no life or death. It was complicated. But she called it the Unseen Realm, as well as the land of the goddess and chaos, uh…oh! And the world of the dead."
"So that was the place that the Maker wanted a portal to get to. It seems that when the four of us die we got there, and with that ritual that Dahaka used, he could harness the power from our deaths and make a portal to get there. But it never would've worked with only you. To use Dahaka's method, it would've taken all four of us, and since both Styx and Rei are gone, that wouldn't work."
"So, the four of us equate to all of the people on Cocoon - since Barthandelus's method requires the destruction of Cocoon to create that portal."
"I guess so."
"Oh! Now for the good news! Styx also said that from Valhalla, she could see the entire timeline, all the futures and the possible futures. She showed me…"
Shu hesitated. Did they really want to get Charon's hopes up about their future by telling him what they saw? Styx did say that she could see real futures as well as possible futures. What if their wedding was just a possible future that wouldn't come to pass? Rei was there, smiling and cheering for Shu and Charon. She had been beautiful in her ceremonial dress. Shu wanted to see that so badly, it nearly caused them to break out into tears again in front of Charon. But the odds that Rei would come back were low. After what happened with the Phantom Rei, Shu wasn't sure that they would be able to fully believe why or how Rei would come back from the dead. Styx didn't answer Shu's question about Rei, if she was there in Valhalla too. Shu didn't want to get their hopes up, and there was always the possibility if Rei was still alive, it wasn't for good reasons like with Phantom Rei. It would be better for them both if they didn't expect their wedding, expect Rei, get all of their hopes up, only to be let down. If their wedding did happen, it wouldn't be because it was ordained or something - it would be because they wanted it to happen, both of them, together. If Rei came back, Shu didn't want to be fooled again just because they believed a possible future that wasn't guaranteed.
"She showed me that we would get back together, like this, here in the village. Like…kissing and stuff."
"Did she now?"
"Yes." The two of them started climbing the stairs to the house. "T-The point is…we make up. And…she also made me promise to take care of you. I promised her I'd take care of you, and I meant it."
Charon relaxed, like all the weight that had been on his shoulders all slid off. "We're messed up, we've got tons of demons, but I think it's time just move past all that junk." Charon opened the door, ignoring the slumped over Ghoul sitting on the wall beside it, and waved for Shu to walk in behind him. "I need a break," He sighed.
"Me too."
"Oh, just kiss me already!"
Charon grabbed Shu and kissed them, pushing them up against the wall and finally allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of having Shu with him again. He said eat it to the rules, to whatever the heck 'the right thing' was supposed to be and just kissed Shu like there was nothing else in the world. To his delight, Shu relaxed into his grip and reciprocated, wrapping their hands around his neck and pulling their legs up around his waist. Their kiss was desperate, like it was the only thing keeping them breathing, a gasp of air when they had been drowning for so long.
Yeah, this was fine.
"Everything's different, but it's still home," Vanille said firmly.
"Okay, we've got Power Cable, a Battery Pack, a Trochoid Gear, and an Aspheric Lens," Sai reported. "Two Vetala and a Vampire. What do the Cie'th even want with these things anyway?"
"Who knows?" Sazh said. "But all we need now is some metal plating."
"There's some cargo up there near the train tracks," Fang said. "Metal everywhere, and judging by the state of the bridge, I'd say there are plenty of options for metal that we can easily recover rather than stuff like the windmills or the houses."
"I'll take these parts back to the house," Sai said. "See how Shu's doing and map out the plan for repairing Bhakti."
"You sure you'll be all right on your own?" Hope asked.
"I can handle a few Chonchon and Seekers, yeah. We've already cleared the area of most of the big baddies. I'll ask Shu and Charon if we can get the house up and running again with the electricity so that we can spend the night. Water might also be an issue with the ocean mixed with crystal dust."
"Got it," Snow said. "Meet ya back there."
Sai headed back to the house, passing the Ghoul sleeping at the bottom of the stairs, heading up and past the other Ghoul at the door. Sai was gonna name the Ghouls Kate and Kris at this rate. When Sai opened the door, he was greeted with the sight of Charon and Shu jumping apart and trying to fix their disheveled appearances after having been making out for the gods know how long.
"Hi Sai," Shu squeaked. "W-Wh-Wha-Wha-What's up?"
He rolled his eyes. "At least you weren't having sex. I'll be in the living room repairing Bhakti. The others will be back soon. If you're gonna do stuff, do it in the bedroom and close the curtain. Better yet, you might wanna move to another place for the night under the excuse of Shu's recovery. Best of luck you two. And when you name your children, I expect to be consulted."
Charon rubbed the back of his head while Shu stuttered. "I don't think that's…is it even poss…I-I'd like…"
Sai chuckled. "Take care of each other. And be happy, Shu. You deserve it."
"What about me?" Charon asked.
He waved. "I'll leave Shu to babysit you."
"Hey!"
Sai laughed and walked over to the shutdown Bhakti. Charon and Shu went over to the bunk beds, Shu climbing up to the top bunk with Charon flying up to meet them. They seemed to be just talking. For now. Sai set down the parts they had retrieved and searched for a toolbox. He found one in a drawer and opened up Bhakti's body to start replacing his battery. He cut out some broken power cables to replace them and fixed one of the rusted gears. As he was replacing one of Bhakti's eyes, the others returned with some Metal Plate and Sazh finished up the repairs.
Sazh flicked a small switch at the small bot came back to life. "Hey-hey! Look who's back."
The bot made small beeps and popped its eyes open carefully. Vanille sighed in relief and rubbed her hand over it. "Oh, Bhakti, thank goodness!"
Bhakti popped up on his little wheels, his antenna raising and his eye compartments fully opening. He started to whirr, working at full capacity and almost seeming to jump for joy.
"You are lifesavers, you two," Fang said.
"Ah, it was just a quick tune-up," Sai said, petting Bhakti as he turned to look at him and then Vanille, rolling away.
"Don't mention it," Sazh agreed.
Bhakti rolled around the room, grabbing a small bag of items, before returning to them. "Let's see what he has to say," Sai said. "Looks like he's got some info in his databanks."
Bhakti's eyes flashed green and he projected a small screen in front of him.
'Congratulations, you are a true Pulsian Pioneer! But somewhere out there, long-forgotten equipment still waits to be found! Bhakti's Bonus Byte #11: The towering Adamantoise is the undisputed king of the steppe. Get too close, and even a chocobo will turn tail feather and run.'
"Cool, he's got fun facts for travelers in here."
"What about the bag?" Hope asked, kneeling.
Sai took it and dug around. "10 vials of Deceptisol, 2 Ultracompact Reactors, a Gold Nugget, 5 vials of Perfume, and 3 Platinum Ingots."
"Bhakti's a rover that seeks out treasures and useful items," Vanille informed them. "Guess he's been on auto-pilot so long that he picked up some valuables."
"Not bad. We can do some upgrading with all of this."
"Think we're due for another trip to the Steppe for some fun?" Snow suggested.
"There's a Waystone in the village that we activated," Lightning said. "We can get back there pretty quickly, take on some of those Cie'th Stone missions we missed, get some spoils, get some more training."
"We can also do a little more searching around the village for some clues that can help us get rid of our brands, or at least answer some questions about what happened during the time we were gone," Fang added.
"Sounds like a plan," Sazh said. "It'll also give Shu time to recover. Divide and conquer."
"First, a night of rest after our crazy day for all of us," Sai announced. "There are plenty of beds for everyone. Triple-decker bunks."
"Before that, how about we get some food?" Snow announced.
"Well, we can't exactly eat Cie'th," Hope said. "Wait, can we?"
"I doubt it's healthy," Fang threw out.
"So that means we should head back anyway with the Waystone for something to hunt."
"One of the Waystones back in the Steppe lead right to a Gorgonopsid hunting ground," Lightning remembered. "Should be a quick trip."
"Okay then, let's go get some grub!" Snow announced, already heading out the door.
"Right with ya," Fang sighed, smiling at his eccentric personality.
"I'll go too," Lightning volunteered. "The rest of you settle in."
"I got the plumbing working," Charon announced, flying down from the top bunk. He seemed to be enjoying the fact that he could fly again. "I'll get the electricity going so you guys won't freeze to death tonight and will have some lighting. As well as the ability to cook. Give me five minutes."
He flew over to the electrical box that normally would've needed a ladder to reach.
"He seems in a better mood," Sazh noticed.
"He and Shu have had their 'talk,'" Sai informed them.
"Ah. That makes sense." "Finally!" "Good for them." "Does this mean all the drama is over?"
"Yes…at least, hopefully."
"I have to replace about four different cords," Charon announced. "Hang tight. You think some of those smaller Cie'th are the result of the rats getting branded and failing their Focus? Getting turned to Cie'th for chewing up these wires? That'd be amusing."
Charon flew outside to handle his repairs.
"Did I just hear him try to be humorous?" Sai asked.
"Now that is a miracle right there," Sazh sighed. "Well, might as well choose bunks."
"I call top!" Sai shouted.
"Me too!" Vanille called.
Hope chuckled and joined them in figuring out the logistics of how they were going to split the bunks - boys, girls, and fal'Cie? But who would have the last bed on the fal'Cie one? Sazh chuckled. Without Lightning and Fang, he really was the only adult there, looking after a bunch of kids.
That's all they were, kids who didn't deserve to have such a big burden on their shoulders. For the moment, they could put the weight of the world aside, and under different circumstances, there was no doubt that they'd be good friends. If they made it out of this, all of them, there was an unsaid promise that they would hopefully remain a family unit.
Charon held his hand up. "You sure about this?"
He and Shu were out on the crystal dunes outside of the village during the sunset while the others were eating dinner in the house. Shu's only worry was that no one stole their top bunk while they were out.
"No," Shu admitted. "But you're the only one I trust that can do this."
"I'm not a healer, Shu. I'm literally supposed to be death. What if I…?"
Shu took his hand. "It's okay. I know that you won't do anything to harm me."
"Neither of us know that, Shu."
"I know that Zanmato saved me and it's a special blade that reflects your soul and desires. If I'm in trouble, it can save me."
"We have no guarantee."
"I believe in it. I believe in you. Charon, I can't do anything with this wound."
The large cut in Shu's stomach was refusing to heal and it was releasing bits of their energy - not as much as Dahaka had released when he tried creating the portal to the Unseen Realm, but still enough that Shu wasn't going to be able to recover fully. It was like fal'Cie hemophilia, Shu's life force was leaking away and there was no way to dam the flow. As such, Shu would only be stable for so long thanks to Zanmato's revive power - the remaining red and purple glow now extremely dim. Shu needed energy, enough to mend the damage that Dahaka did, but whoever gave it to him would be putting a piece of themself inside Shu - it would be the equivalent of an organ transplant. If the energy was poisonous, Shu would be left vulnerable to whatever came their way since it would already be inside them.
"Are you sure that you can't just recover over time?"
Shu gave a small look of pity. "Chare…if…look, Zanmato is keeping me alive right now, the residual energy of its revival is what's keeping me in such a good state. It's almost gone, and once it is…I know that…I'm not sure if I'll stay strong enough to do this. My body is more damaged than it seems. Please, Charon, just trust me on this. I'm not gonna…I'm basically a dead person walking right now. Styx or Zanmato, whatever, something gave me a chance to save myself, but my grace period in the world of the living is…it's nearly gone. I wouldn't have anyone else have the honor of saving me."
"You'll be stuck with me forever. Me, the guy who caused all that pain, who's emotionally messed up and will no doubt cause you even more pain in the future."
Shu cupped his face lightly. "But I know that you'll always fight for us through all of that, and I'll do the same. I still hate you, but I also still love you. We're not healthy for each other, in a way, but we need each other, for now. After all of this, how about we…we'll slow down a bit, all right? Make sure that…this really is what we want and not just a relationship born through all this stress, fear, and…all the chaos that's taken over our lives that's practically pushed us together by force. Let's make this relationship our decision, not…not…"
Shu cut themselves off and Charon thought that Shu just couldn't find the words, but Shu's eyes closed and the light in their chest was beginning to flicker out.
"Shu?" Shu's breath started to become lighter. Charon held up his hand. "Okay, okay. Here I go. I can do this."
He carefully slipped his hand inside the large wound, feeling Shu's insides wiggling around and then feeling Shu's life force. He flipped a mental switch and connected to Shu, feeling as their life force faded, dimming like a light that flickered out. Charon could now see Shu's energy, like a light-green fountain of mist, as well as his own, a much denser and stable cloud of blackness. He grabbed on to Shu's life force and started to pull it back into their body and then he connected his with theirs. They started to mix, darkening Shu's lively green to a murkier olive green. Despite the color change, Shu was definitely getting better, their wound sealing and their life energy growing stronger with Charon's help.
Charon started to feel Shu's essence mixing with his, and it was like suddenly taking a breath of water. Charon saw a whole different life than his own - a young Shu growing up looking to their sister for everything because she was their hero; Shu screaming at Barthandelus and refusing to give in to his taunts about Rei and ultimately suffering for it; Shu meeting the Cavalry and keeping hope that Rei was still out there, back when they had been ignorant of the truth; Shu being nervous as hell during the early days of meeting Charon, and subsequently talking Fang's ear off about their first date and how absolutely in love they were, hoping that this was all real; and, of course, Shu being completely mesmerized by Charon during their relationship.
Charon saw a memory that he hadn't even thought about in ages, but it was something that Shu had clung to tightly.
Charon saw himself and Shu in Charon's room on the Lindblum. Charon had been playing some relaxing music before Shu had arrived, as the music was needed to help keep Charon sane during all of those tough years. When Shu walked in, they asked what the song was and why Charon was listening to it. Charon had just said that he liked it, before casually, spur-of-the-moment, asking Shu for a dance. Shu happily accepted and the two of them had danced around the small area of Charon's room for the duration of the song. It was only a couple small minutes of swaying and spinning, but it was more than enough to make Shu sentimental. There was just one moment that Charon was directed to: a moment when Charon spun out rather than Shu so that he respected that Shu wasn't instantly categorized as the girl in their relationship just because Charon was a guy. The small detail hadn't gotten past Shu, and though it was just a natural instinct for Charon, something he didn't think about twice, to Shu it nearly brought them to tears. Shu took a turn spinning out right after, and when they spun back into Charon's arms, they just stopped there for a peaceful moment, surrounded by Charon's arms around then and knowing, just knowing, that this was the person who was special. This was the person they wanted to spend the rest of their eternal life with, no matter what it took, no matter how many arguments they had or how long they were stuck with each other. The two of them had, in Shu's memory, shared a moment there that had locked them together forever, a moment with no lies, a complete bond.
Charon saw Shu's perspective on their fallout, crying over Rei when they had first arrived at the Fifth Ark, feeling more alone than they ever had been. Shu had lost both Charon and Rei in one fell swoop and had no idea what to do. When they had seen Charon again, along with Raines, Shu had been scared of Charon, of course, but at the same time, the sight of him had caused Shu's heart to skip, and hearing of Charon's betrayal didn't seem real. Shu couldn't have imagined everything that had gone between them. Shu knew that what the two of them had felt been real, and no matter what Charon said, he hadn't lied about that - that moment when the two of them were just standing there after that dance in silence, connected to each other in mind and body. Shu had never given up on Charon, not for one moment.
Charon saw as Shu was forced to watch Charon from afar, afraid to push him and respectful of his boundaries, but still wanting to help and let Charon know that they were there if ever he wanted to ask. He saw as Shu started growing more and more concerned, then more and more impatient, then more and more angry. He saw Shu's terror at being taken away by Dahaka, felt the pain of the debilitating blast as well as the fatigue from all of the fighting and bickering with Charon. Shu just wanted someone by their side through all of the heartbreak, but Charon had just been wrapped up in his own problems.
He saw Shu meeting with Styx, seeing her happy and healthy, and that caused him to smile and cry all at the same time. He saw Shu's relief when they woke up in Charon's arms, seeing in his eyes that something had changed. Charon was no longer afraid of himself, no longer so ashamed that he couldn't just be a loving boyfriend. Even if it took all that pain, Shu would've done it all again if it meant that they could get Charon to smile again, to break past that darkness that had been consuming him. If it meant saving Charon, Shu would've happily gone through all of that again. He was back now, that was all that mattered. Charon also laughed when he saw what Shu had been dreaming of that had caused them to sleep talk about chickens - Shu sitting in a pen of them trying to make conversation, but apparently, the chickens weren't interested. Honestly, Shu's mind wandered to the weirdest of places. Charon loved them even more.
He saw as Shu stared at Charon, hoping so hard that he'd come back, the real him, the one that was confident enough to love Shu. Still, they had their doubts. What if Charon slipped away again? What if he was just beyond Shu's help? No, Shu decided. They wouldn't let Charon slip away again. They wouldn't just stand by and watch him torture himself just because that was what he wanted. Shu would slap him if he ever started doubting himself again, start shouting and screaming - anything that would keep Charon from shutting them out to wallow in his misery alone. Charon would never be alone again, Shu would make sure of it.
When Charon came back to himself, he saw that Shu's aura was much better than it had been before. Shu's energy was now olive green rather than the lighter green from before, but Charon's energy was also the same olive green rather than black. Shu was still unconscious, but this time it was only a peaceful nap. Their wounds had all healed now, the full color returned to their skin and hair.
Charon smiled and brushed a strand of hair from Shu's face. They looked completely back to normal, and Charon didn't understand how he could possibly resist…Shu. He leaned down to kiss them lightly but ended up staying a little longer than he had intended. Apparently, he stayed a little too long, since he inadvertently woke Shu from their peaceful sleep. Too bad, Charon had wanted to stare at them in their sleep a little longer (it wasn't weird). But in return, Shu woke up to instantly kiss Charon back, so it wasn't much of a loss.
There was a moment when they stayed close after they'd released their lip lock, simply staring into each other's eyes with a new perspective at each other's lives.
"Hi," Charon said.
"Hello," Shu greeted warmly. "My name is Asushunamir, but call me Shu."
Charon smiled at the reversal of their original greeting format. "Mataecharonsan. Charon."
And it was like they'd started anew.
"Let's make this relationship our decision, not…not…"
Shu forgot what they were talking about as they passed out from exhaustion from the simple act of talking. They thought that they heard the sound of the ocean, the waves outside of Valhalla, but then, they felt a punch to the gut, a booming burst of strength that acted as a life-preserver, pulling them back from the edge of death.
They started to see a young Charon, gathering food for his younger sister. Shu felt the responsibility that Charon held on his shoulders as a big brother, the weight of holding another life in his hands, and the fulfillment of seeing his sister happy. Charon would've done anything to see Styx smile, and so when she was taken away, the dread that set in brought him to his knees. When he saw his little sister imprisoned by Barthandelus, he would've agreed to anything to save her. But as time went on, he had to wait far longer than he had initially assumed. Styx suffered no matter what he did, and Shu saw that one random day, unmarked in Charon's mind beyond one single factor: it was the day that he began to regret. He finally admitted to himself that he'd made the wrong choice, that just letting Styx die would've saved her from all of this pain, that helping Barthandelus while he made his sister suffer wasn't what he wanted, and he wished he could take it all back. Shu saw as Charon fell into a pit of despair, deeper than anything that Shu could've ever imagined. Shu wanted to sob if they weren't in a world of memories.
Then, Shu saw as Charon first saw a blur of blonde out of the corner of his eye. He first saw Shu on the Lindblum, introducing themselves to the other crew members in the mess hall. Shu was smiling and eccentric, but beyond that, Charon sensed they were a fal'Cie. Charon had asked Cid about Shu, and Cid had explained that in Barthandelus's paperwork, Cid had been informed that he would have to take in a fal'Cie called Asushunamir. After that day, Charon couldn't stop thinking about Shu. Every time he saw them, he couldn't help but stare from afar and wonder. No matter what Charon was doing, he was instantly distracted just by the thought that Shu may be near, but when he caught a large flash of blonde out of the corner of his eye, his heart started jumping out of his chest for reasons he couldn't explain. Why was he so curious about Shu? He told himself it was because Shu was a fal'Cie and could be a potential threat to his mission. Yeah, that was what he'd tell anyone that asked. Not that anyone was gonna ask at that moment…or was he not being very subtle? How subtle was he being? Maybe he was being obvious.
Charon finally saw that Shu was alone. They were just sitting there, playing with a plant, making it grow larger and giggling lightly. It was adorable. Charon handed over the paperwork for Cid from Barthandelus, and as Cid walked away, Charon stared at Shu. He had a long mental debate about whether to go over. There was no reason. But Charon really wanted to. He could get in trouble. But he really wanted to know what Shu's voice sounded like from up close. He would embarrass himself. No, he wouldn't, Shu was a nice person. If anything, they would be the most embarrassing out of the two of them. Right? Charon's muscles tensed, readying him to walk over. Then he stopped himself. Then he lurched slightly forward, and then he pulled back. 'By the gods, just do it!' He had shouted at himself in his mind. Finally, he gave in. He walked over and started a conversation. He realized that Shu got flustered so easily, and it was so adorable. He decided to make it a game: could he charm his way into gaining Shu's trust? It was the only way for him to make it through their encounters, the only thing that kept his mind straight when he was staring directly at Shu's perfect face, hearing their perfect voice. He had to convince himself that it wasn't more than a game.
Then, he asked Shu on a date. It was totally for the sake of playing them. And yet he was excited. Oh, gods, he was nervous. Crap, he was kissing them. Crap, he liked it. Crap, he was doing it again the next day. Crap, he was in love with Asushunamir. Crap, this wasn't going to end well. Crap, this had gone too far. Charon told himself that he'd fix this, that he'd break things off before Shu ever found out about what he was, who he really worked for. But then he just didn't. Then, they were walking into the bridge of the Palamecia and Charon braced himself. In the end, the one who felt the most pain during the betrayal wasn't Shu - it was Charon.
He argued with Styx, but in all honesty, Charon didn't know what he was fighting for. Even he couldn't justify his actions, but he tried to pretend. He tried to convince himself like he had so many times before. Finally, his excuses were breaking down. He was lost, he didn't know what to do. Then, his sister was gone. He lashed out, deciding to destroy Barthandelus's plans, but even that failed.
He was running from Rei, but it wasn't just the guilt of her death that he was running from. He was running from his helplessness, his confusion. He didn't want to be lost, without a purpose, and he didn't want to keep failing the ones that he loved. He couldn't stand that heartbreak anymore. He'd fallen off the path that he'd been walking, however flawed, and now he was given a million choices of paths and he didn't want to choose wrong again.
Shu saw when they had pushed Charon through being cruel to him, the physical punch that every word hit him with, and the calming techniques that Sai had suggested. Sai. He had worked so hard to get the two of them back together. And Shu had stolen his first kiss that probably should've been his to choose. Whoops. They'd have to apologize for that.
Then, Shu saw the absolute overwhelming terror that consumed Charon at the thought of losing Shu to Dahaka. No matter what he had been feeling, he knew, at that moment, that he needed Shu in his life, that he wouldn't let something take Shu away no matter how Shu felt about him, and no matter how confused he was. Shu saw the warmth of their reconciliation, the relief, and the confusion that remained but at least was made a little clearer. Shu saw Charon's love and adoration that was finally allowed to bloom, the release of all his pain the moment they had kissed after all that time apart, and the new concern that he was going to do something wrong just as he had gotten Shu back by trying to help fix them from Dahaka's wound.
And finally, Shu saw Charon's smile as he looked at the sleeping form of Shu, admiring their relaxed face, so at peace when unconscious. When Shu returned to their own body, they woke up to the warmth of Charon's lips against theirs. They nearly broke out into a full grin, but instead opted for reciprocating in full force.
When Charon stopped, Shu opened their eyes to see something had changed. Charon had seen Shu's life too, they knew it instantly. They had both grown closer than they had ever been before - they were two new people who understood each other like they were one person, and yet they were strangers all the same.
"Hi," Charon said lightly.
Shu couldn't help but smile. They recalled their initial introduction, how Charon had introduced himself first, so calm and collected while Shu had been a stuttering mess. Maybe it was time for a reversal of those roles.
"Hello," Shu greeted warmly. "My name is Asushunamir, but call me Shu."
Charon smiled knowingly, but he didn't stutter like Shu had done. "Mataecharonsan. Charon."
Well, that's good enough. Not that Shu would be disappointed with anything about Charon. Not anymore. They were above that now, misunderstandings, disagreements, isolation. That was all over. They were together now, and nothing would drive them apart.