Shepard drifted around Liara's apartment like a ghost, searching for clues indicating where her friend - her one chance to save her son - had gone. Vasir deduced that Liara had lingered in the apartment after a sniper had fired at her, shattering the living room window. The bullet had barely been stopped by her barrier.
Why would Liara stay after that? There had to be a reason.
Shepard's eyes cut to the shattered glass as it crunched under her boot.
Thank god for kinetic barriers and Liara's new found paranoia.
She turned, intending to head upstairs to search, when her eyes landed on something she never wanted to see again.
Her death shroud. The armor she had died in.
Shepard froze.
Why would Liara keep that? Displayed like a trophy behind a glass cabinet?
She wanted to smash it. Her hand twitched, seconds away from throwing dark energy at the mocking, burnt torso piece.
A hand grabbed her arm just as she went to raise it and, to her surprise, she saw it was Jack.
"You don't wanna do that," Jack said quietly, eyes slanting to where Vasir toiled upstairs. "We're playing it cool for Vasir. Let's not make her jumpy. Smashing it into dust will make you feel better for a second. Maybe three if you cut your arm in the process. But I promise you, it won't last. When it's done, you'll regret it. And regret is a bitch to live with."
"What would you know?" Shepard whispered furiously. "I died in that thing! How dare she keep it?"
Jack frowned and released Shepard's arm as she jerked it away from her grip. "I know a lot of things. You're not the only one who's ever gone through some shit."
Shepard sighed, turning away from the armor, and tried to block out the visions it provoked from her mind. The last time she had put it on, it had been shoved at her by Kaidan as her ship and life burnt down around her. A desperate scramble for survival she wouldn't win. Its cut airline hissing around her face. Her hands scrabbling to try and stop her life draining away, knowing it was hopeless, twisting and flipping around, nauseous and chest burning as the stars swung wildly...
It was the reason she became that monster on the med slab, insane and screaming for a man that would never hear her.
"I'm sorry." She sighed, knowing her mouth had run away from her (again) and her single-minded focus had caused her to be snappy with Jack. "It's like...it's like being slapped in the face. I hate it. I hate the reminder. The last time I wore that I was-"
"We know. It's only a piece of metal now. It can't do anything to you. Right? Just like Pragia. Your Soldier Boy told me that. I'm sure you know it too. Your blue bitch just kept it because it was special to her, not to spite you. Just chill the fuck out, OK? Keep your eyes on the prize." She lowered her voice further and slapped Shepard on the back, Jack's version of a hug. "Think of your little bastard."
Shepard nodded and jogged upstairs, partly to escape Jack's knowing gaze, and partly because - if she knew Liara as well as she thought she did - she suspected Liara would hide a clue for her in her bedroom.
On the SR-1 Liara's little room in the back of the med bay had been her quiet, secret, safe place away from the bustle of the warship. Somewhere she could curl up after a mission when the world got too much, drink a warm mug of coffee and do research. It was how Liara felt safe, how she made herself feel better after events like her mother's death. Shepard would often arrive for a chat to find curios scattered around her room, little ornaments, books, samples she had picked up from alien worlds. She was like a fussy blue bowerbird, collecting precious heartfelt things for her nest.
Shepard found it rather homely and comforting.
There was a picture of the Normandy SR-1 on her bedside table. Shepard was drawn to it, as if a moth to flame, the glow from the massive fish tank washing all the colors of the room into muted blues.
As her hand touched the glass, it flashed to a picture of a Prothean dig site, eerily similar to the one on Eden Prime.
"Huh. Guess she left some clues for you to find."
Vasir had come up behind Shepard unnoticed, and Shepard barely refrained from jumping.
"Guess so. We should look for any Prothean relics. I think that's why she left this."
"Give me that." Vasir snatched the picture frame out of her hands, but as soon as she did so, the picture returned to the Normandy SR-1. "She keyed it to your DNA. I scanned for that, though. It's a simple bypass usually. How...?"
Shepard shrugged, knowing why she could touch it and have it respond, but unwilling to tell Vasir. Liara must have keyed it to the Beacon's knowledge, somehow reverse engineering it to respond like Prothean tech. The only people in the galaxy who could touch that picture and have it change; conversely the only people able to hunt down the clues in the apartment; were Liara and Shepard.
"You really are in deep, aren't you, Liara?" Shepard muttered under her breath. "All this..."
"Hmpf." Vasir threw the picture down on the bed, uncaring of where it landed. She turned to Shepard. "Well, get hunting if you want to find your friend. Time's ticking down on her life every moment we delay."
Shepard jogged back downstairs, swiftly waving her hand over every single Prothean related object she could find. Liara's affection for them was clear. They were numerous, her apartment almost a classy museum seemingly devoted to the Protheans and, to Shepard's unease, Shepard herself.
There was even a picture of Ilos on the wall. Shepard watched it for a moment.
"I made you feel human, huh?" she murmured under her breath, thinking of the night before Ilos. "I made you feel a lot more than that."
There was only one untouched artefact remaining. It was austere, all harsh lines and jagged edges, with a sickly green sheen. Shepard decided she wasn't a huge fan of Prothean architecture. It seemed to always do it's upmost to murder her, or scramble her brains.
A slot popped open as Shepard ghosted her hand over it, and a disk slid out.
The group gathered behind Shepard as she played the data disk at Liara's console, wishing she could get rid of Vasir and just handle it by herself, but Shepard knew she was on very dangerous ground. Vasir could call Kaidan in at any time.
And that was something Shepard would do anything to avoid. She couldn't face him. Not yet.
Garrus' taloned hand brushed Shepard's palm, no accident she was sure, and she breathed deeply for a moment, trying to remember Jack's advice. She briefly clasped Garrus' hand in thanks.
Calm my shit down, she thought, trying to steady her pounding heart. Miles needs me to be calm and in control. What would Kaidan do? He would button it down. He would put a mask on.
Shepard pretended she had slipped on an iron mask and her heart began beating normally.
The vid call played on the terminal in front of her, a conversation between Liara and an information contact by the name of Sekat, a salarian. Liara seemed to be inquiring after information that she had asked Sekat to obtain: the location of someone.
Shepard gathered it was the Shadow Broker.
The call ended.
"She went to meet him at Baria Frontiers in the Trade Centre?" Garrus said. "Why would Liara arrange to meet him there?"
"It's public. It's safe," Shepard responded. "She's afraid. I'm sure she didn't want to be alone in case whoever was hunting her tracked her down. It's what I would do."
"Who cares? Let's go," Vasir barked. "I'll drive."
"No," Shepard said. "We'll take separate skycars. No offense. I need a moment to speak to my team. We'll meet you there."
"Fine," Vasir said, already half out the door.
Shepard frowned. That was odd. Vasir was a Spectre, and Shepard a wanted criminal. Despite what she said about not having orders to capture Shepard yet and being focused on Liara's investigation, she should still be eager to not let Shepard out of her sight.
There was no guarantee, as far as Vasir knew, that Shepard wouldn't turn tail and flee. It was almost like...she didn't care; like she had her own agenda beyond the Council's wishes.
Shepard shook her head, not understanding whatever was going on behind the scenes with the asari Spectre, and signalled her team to leave the apartment behind.
She stole one last glance at her metal death shroud, then turned away from it forever.
The skycar ride across the city to the Dracon Trade Centre was quiet. Garrus driving, Shepard lost in thought, Miranda, Jack and Samara subdued in the backseat.
There was a beep in Shepard's ear and she pressed the comm to allow EDI's voice to transmit.
"What's up, EDI? We're a bit busy here. Liara's in deep."
"Shepard..."
Shepard sat straighter in her seat, alarmed by the hesitation and distress in EDI's voice. "Are you guys alright? Is it the Illusive Man? Oh god, is Miles...?"
"I have... I have a comm burst coming through from Spectre Staff Commander Alenko. I do not know whether to accept it or not. He is requesting to speak to you."
Beside Shepard, Garrus swore. "Reject it. He'll only just try and convince you to come in."
"I agree," Miranda piped up, leaning forward from the backseat. "It's only going to end in tears. He can't understand. Not yet. You can't be taken in. Don't let him try and convince you, Shepard."
"Shut up, both of you," Shepard barked. "EDI, patch him through to me."
"Shepard..." Garrus warned, but turned back to driving. Shepard glared at him, pissed off. This was Kaidan. She owed it to him to at least take his call.
As the comm beeped, connecting to Kaidan's signal burst light-years away, her mouth went dry, and her hands began shaking in her lap. This was it. The first time she was going to speak to him after the truth had been revealed. She hadn't seen or spoken to him since the breakup on the Citadel, and she didn't have a clue what to say to him.
She was afraid to speak to him, the one she loved above nearly all others, except for the echo of his face in miniature.
That was a lie. She wasn't afraid. She was terrified.
"Shepard," his voice came over the comm, pleading, and she was half afraid she would throw up onto the leather skycar seats. Her stomach roiled traitorously. "What are you doing? Please, come in. Damn it, EDI. I know you're blocking this. Let me connect."
"You are connected, Spectre Alenko," EDI said coolly. "Shepard's signal has been scrambled by me. Do not bother to try and trace it. You will not succeed."
"K-Kaidan," Shepard croaked. "It's me."
"Shepard, thank god. Are you alright? What's going on? Has the Illusive Man hurt you?"
"I'm OK. I'm not hurt."
I'm not hurt. My heart is just bleeding. I'm not hurt. The Illusive Man is threatening to torture our son. I'm not hurt. I'm just a slave.
I'm not hurt.
Liara and I just shared all those moments you and I spent together, skin to skin, when we made our son, when you loved me. I wish she had never seen it. I wish you had been there for his birth. I wish I had been. I wish none of this had happened.
I want to snatch my time back. I'm not hurt, though.
Shepard swallowed thickly, all too aware of their audience in the skycar. "How have you been? I guess my congratulations are in order over your recent promotion. I always knew you had it in you. You'll make a fine Spectre."
"Congratulations? How have I been?" he asked incredulously. "'How have I been'? How about how have you been?"
Shepard winced. OK, she had made a totally poor choice of words. He sounded furious.
"What the hell are you doing? I was made a Spectre to hunt you down, Shepard. That's not OK," he continued. "What has the Illusive Man done to you? You attacked soldiers. Alliance soldiers. Has he put a control chip in your head? I'm on a warship, right now, with a whole operation devoted to hunting you down. You know how I am? I'm fucking terrified for you. So is Anderson. I've never seen him like that."
Shepard couldn't help flinching away from the anger in his voice. He rarely got angry with her, even after all the times she lost her temper with him, and she felt odd. Kaidan angry at her felt... Well, it made her feel shitty, if she was totally honest with herself.
He usually held her in such high esteem, with such respect she didn't deserve. He was always so patient, gentle and understanding. Maybe he really did hate her now.
"My mind is my own. That's all I can say. I have a mission. Please don't contact me. Please stop hunting me. I'll return to Earth when my mission is complete."
"You know I can't do that, Shepard. I have orders. And how do I know that you're not just being coerced into saying that? How do I know you're not lying to me? You wanted to join Cerberus, Shepard. Has the Illusive Man promoted you to his best agent, like you wanted? Is this some kind of grab for power? Are you under duress?"
Shepard rubbed a hand at her eye so hard stars burst behind her eyelids.
"Shepard, answer me."
What could she say? The Illusive Man said she had to work for him. As far as he was aware, Shepard was. The galaxy was supposed to think so. Kaidan was supposed to think so. The whole mission could be blown wide open if Kaidan let anyone else know that she was free from the Illusive Man's influence. The Illusive Man would find out. He had ears and eyes everywhere, even in the Alliance.
Nowhere was safe.
Miles' safety depended on her lies. At least until she had him and could protect him. She had to be his bulwark.
"... I-I work for the Illusive Man," she croaked out through clenched teeth, tears springing to her eyes. She fought to keep her voice even. "For now. He has special assignments for me. We're doing good work. I… I trust his vision for the future. I'm sorry about those soldiers, but it was necessary. Please leave us alone."
Shepard bit the inside of her cheek so hard, blood gushed into her mouth.
She heard the hurt in his voice when he said, "So that's it, huh? There's an 'us' now? The Alliance means nothing to you? We, no, I mean nothing to you? Dammit, Shepard. I'm trying to save you. Let me."
"Kaidan, you can't save me. Just... Just leave me alone. We're over. You made that clear on the Citadel, not to mention Horizon. I shouldn't have let you join after Hock's party. I don't want to marry you. I don't want you to follow me. I don't need your integrity. We made a mistake. We should never have happened."
She heard his intake of breath over the comm. Shepard bent her head, covering her eyes with her palm.
She always knew she would have to do the impossible in her duty. She accepted it as the price she paid for being saved. As exchange for her life. Without her duty, she would have died as a teen or become a prostitute or drug addict, bartering her soul, mind and especially her body for survival in Earth's urban underbelly.
Before Normandy, before Kaidan, she would blot out the hard facts with too much vodka, too much violence, too much anger.
Like Zaeed said, rage was a hell of an anaesthetic.
She'd done dirty things in her career. Shot men. Shot women. Tore them apart with her tidal forces, looked at wrecks of mangled flesh that had once been living beings and knew she was the reason they'd never draw another breath. Been splattered in blood and wondered why. Killed to protect, and she would kill again.
Shepard was no stranger to hard. To impossible. To wounding herself to get the job done.
She just never expected voicing the words she had to say to Kaidan would be so hard.
Her new duty to Miles was terrible and beautiful. It was pain. It was love. It was tearing down the world and watching it burn, just to hold him.
It made her long for the clear cut duty of an Alliance soldier. She never wanted this. She never asked for this. She had no choice.
Her autonomy had been taken away.
Wounding Kaidan was like plunging the knife into her own chest. But she picked up the knife and did it again and again. She wondered if the scars would ever disappear.
When his voice came back on over the comm, she heard muffled emotion in it, gravelly with hurt.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, but I understand. I'll try and remain professional and do my best to not make you uncomfortable."
He took a deep breath. Shepard wanted to claw her nails into her eyes to compete with the misery inside herself.
"The Council only sent me because Anderson pressured them into it. I'm the only Spectre in the galaxy that will not shoot you as soon as I get the chance. This is treason, talking to you." He exhaled over the comm, a long, sad, exhausted sound. "I'm trying to warn you. Trying to bring you in safe. This is my career on the line. Please, Shepard. Please. You have to come back to Earth. You have to come home. You know that you can't hide forever. The batarians are dangerous. Every major faction in the galaxy wants a piece of you. Do you understand? Earth is your one chance."
Shepard remained silent, too choked with tears to trust herself to speak. She pressed her hand to her mouth, trying to hold the sobs in.
He lowered his voice. "I know who you are. This isn't you." Kaidan hesitated and then, "Shep, sweet-" he started and then cut himself off from using her nickname. "I'm sorry - I mean Commander - please. You know how this has to go down. Just meet me on Omega. Let your crew go. I won't handcuff you. I won't confine you to the brig. We'll go to Earth, together. I'll do everything in my power to shield you."
Shepard still said nothing, the only sound on the comm her harsh breathing.
"Don't ignore me, Shepard. You have to face this."
"I'm sorry, LT. One day you'll understand. This is something I have to do. This is my duty."
"Your duty is going to get you killed. And I won't let that happen to you again," he promised, and she knew he meant that down to his bones. "I'm sorry, I can't just put the time I spent with you aside as easily as you apparently can."
Alenkos were stubborn, pig-headed and loyal to a fault. For a moment, she indulged herself to imagine what Miles would be like as a teenager and almost laughed. If she ever got him back, she would be in for years of butting heads. He was the priority. She couldn't be swayed by Kaidan's pleas.
Shepards and Alenkos were like fire and water. She wondered how they ended up mixing. It seemed, so far, the results were explosive.
"If my death is the price demanded for his safety, I'll gladly pay it," she muttered.
"What is so important?" Kaidan asked, suspicion heavy in his voice. "What aren't you telling me?"
"Shepard, hang up on him. We're almost there," Miranda said from the backseat.
"Lawson?" Kaidan asked. "She's still there?"
"Nice to hear from you too, Commander Alenko," Miranda spat. "If you're done emotionally blackmailing Shepard, could you kindly disconnect? We have important work to be doing. Without you."
Shepard knew from his sharp intake of breath that Miranda had finally pushed Kaidan too far.
"You know what, Miranda? Go screw yourself," he growled.
Miranda laughed; the sound a tinkly, brittle thing like fallen, shattered ice. "I would say the same. Only way you'd ever get any action now, you uptight Alliance fan boy. Or better yet, go fuck your mother. But darling, don't forget to wear a condom in your excitement to stick it in, lest we have any little accidents," she said sarcastically. "That would be one we couldn't fix."
"Holy fuck, this is the best!" Jack crowed from the backseat. "A real fight now. Shit, Cheerleader. Didn't think you had it in you. Damn, Alenko. She got you. I wish you two were in the same room. My money would be on Alenko."
Shepard shut her eyes, trying to find some internal equilibrium to deal with them. She dashed the tears from the corner of her eyes, attempting to find her voice.
"You bitch, Miranda," Kaidan spat back and, despite the situation, Shepard's eyebrows shot up her forehead. She glanced at Garrus and even his mandibles flapped open, surprised.
"Crap, Alenko," he muttered under his breath. "Way to shake off that officer and gentleman's reservation."
She had never, ever heard Kaidan speak to a woman like this.
She couldn't help feeling a little proud at his new-found fire, and flattered herself to think she'd rubbed off on him. She frowned. Although...maybe that was a bad thing.
Kaidan loved his mother and Shepard knew she was the one person you didn't make jabs at. Shepard wanted to turn around and strangle Miranda. How dare she use Shepard's accidental pregnancy as ammunition, especially with Kaidan unaware? She was being cruel, to both Shepard and Kaidan, but Shepard knew it was just her knee-jerk reaction whenever she and Kaidan were put together.
Shepard swallowed. 'Go fuck your mother' certainly cut to the heart of the matter.
Shepard felt a bit taken aback by the sheer venom between the two Sentinels, and she had her own suspicions as to why Miranda had such a hair-trigger temper around him. The way she spoke about Miles resembling Kaidan... It was almost like a reverence. Perhaps she felt things around Kaidan she didn't want to feel.
Shepard worried. Kaidan seemed uncharacteristically stressed and harsh. The Council and the Alliance had to be putting a lot of pressure on him.
"What lies have you been feeding, Shepard, huh?" he continued, fury laced through every word. His loathing for Cerberus seemed to have doubled since leaving Shepard. "What have you and your poisonous organization made her do? I should have arrested you when I had the chance. You stay the hell away from Shepard, Lawson. You get her into any more trouble and you'll have me to deal with."
"Silly man," Miranda cooed. Shepard spun, shooting her a warning look that went unheeded. Color was high in Miranda's pallid cheeks and her eyes gleamed, mildly unhinged with rage. "I wasn't the one who got her 'in trouble.'"
"Miranda, silence yourself," Samara said, glaring.
Jack leant forward, eyes wide and excited. "Alenko? Jack here. I vote you kill Miranda. She is totally a bitch. You are so right. But hey, you're a jackass too."
"This is none of your business-" Kaidan started but was cut off by Miranda.
"You could have tried to arrest me. You would have failed. You don't have the guts. You cling to your precious morals like a lifejacket, but can't see they're the very things pulling you down. One of these days you'll see that's not how the galaxy works, only when everything you love turns to ashes. You drove Shepard away with your love of the Alliance and rules, and now you hunt her. It's your own damn fault you'll never meet your-"
Shepard hissed, sharply taking in a breath. "Shut. Up. Miranda. You finish that sentence and I will shoot you."
Miranda didn't pause for breath, continuing to rant at Kaidan. "You're a short-sighted, arrogant-"
"Miranda!" Shepard interrupted, whipping around in the seat. "I cannot believe you're doing this again! Now, of all times. What is with you and him? Does the reminder of his face really bother you that much? You have no right to even speak to him after what you've done. You keep this up and you'll be back on the Normandy."
She turned back around when Miranda paled and settled into her seat, helped by a quelling look from Samara.
Bizarrely, Shepard felt like she'd just done the adult version of, 'So help me god, I'll turn this car around and go straight home' with two feuding siblings.
Maybe she wouldn't be so bad at the mom gig.
"Kaidan, stop biting when she taunts you," Shepard snapped. "I'm not coming in. This is goodbye."
"You're just going to walk away again? That easy?" he asked, the anger draining from his voice. Now he just sounded exhausted.
Shepard bit her lip, twisting her hands in her lap. "I never said it would be easy," she mumbled. "Have you ever felt responsible for someone? That their pain was your pain? I said that to you on the Citadel. Do you remember?"
"Of course I remember."
"Then you'll understand. I have responsibilities, promises to keep. Let me do this. Let me go. Stall the Council. It can be our little secret. I have... I'm trying to get something. I want to show you. You'll... I dunno."
She exhaled explosively. "Something- no, someone has tamed me. Just...give me some time. I need to figure this out."
There was a long pause. She dared to hope that she had convinced him to back off.
Then his voice came over the comm and he wasn't Kaidan anymore. He was Spectre Alenko.
"You're out of time. No more secrets. No more sneaking around. This isn't the SR-1 and I won't crawl back into your cabin. I have to mourn that and move on. Like you said, it's over."
Shepard swallowed and stared sightlessly out of the window, knowing for sure that her heart had broken. She wondered how she kept breathing. Surely when your heart was damaged, your body failed?
She was no quitter, she told herself. Shepard didn't need his love. She didn't.
"You always twist things, you always have me on your side somehow, and I'm never quite sure how I get there. The whole time I was on the SR-2 we would kiss, you would bare yourself to me, and I knew every minute that it felt wrong.
"I knew that I was suppressing who I was for you, to make you happy, to make myself happy, and to keep you with me. Cerberus was everywhere, infecting our very touch, but you wouldn't listen. I wouldn't listen. I did the wrong thing, Shepard, and I'm so sorry. I was just so...relieved to have you alive, to have you back. I couldn't bear to lose your again. Now I wonder if you... If you were just using me."
"Kaidan, don't start," she whispered, her face heating at Garrus' slanted gaze. There was silence from the backseat. Kaidan didn't realize his audience was so large. "Please..."
He barrelled on, sounding torn. "You silenced my conscious with sex and your sweet smiles, and I was a fool to let you. We shouldn't have broken regs. Look at what's happened to you. I helped you fall this far. Not this time. I'm not holding back anymore, Lieutenant Commander Shepard." He sounded cool, calm, and professional. "I'm going to do everything in my power to save you from yourself. You can't use my feelings for you against me this time.
"Fall into line, marine," he finished, and she thought for the first time that he was cold, cold man.
She deserved it.
Shepard felt like bursting into tears, stung. But she knew it was all true. Every time he had brought up Cerberus she would inevitably distract him, take him to her bed, make a joke, move the conversation along. She did it so easily, she never even noticed half the time.
No wonder they had self-destructed so spectacularly.
It seemed fire and water only made choking, cloying steam that clouded good judgement and concealed the truth.
Shepard nodded to herself, understanding there would be no quarter given on his behalf. He wasn't stopping. "I'm not one of your unruly soldiers to pull into line, don't you dare try to chide me, Commander," Shepard said. "I won't fail my mission. The Alliance needs to back off."
"Shepard-"
Shepard thumbed the comm's disconnect button. "Don't 'Shepard' me. Good luck hunting, Staff Commander Alenko. You'll need it. You know who and what I am. You're aware, sir," she spat the honorific at him, "that my biotics are superior to yours now. I won't come quietly if you try to take me before I'm ready. I'll explain later, when…when things calm down, but with all due respect: don't stand in my way. I don't want to hurt you."
"Shepard, this is an order from a superior officer: come in or-"
Shepard disconnected the comm, cutting off whatever he was about to say. Garrus threw her a worried look, so she turned her gaze out of the window and to the looming Dracon Trade Centre building.
The group piled out of the skycar, into the parking lot of the trade centre. They were suspiciously quiet, but Shepard was thankful. She was embarrassed enough over what they had heard.
It seemed to happen in moments for Shepard.
Vasir pulled up, they began walking to the building, then the world exploded in fire and noise and force.
Shepard was thrown onto her back, left blinking at the harsh orange sunset, now a-bloom with flames. Sirens wailed; startled office workers and visitors streamed from the building, hurt and screaming.
Her back gave a painful twinge, but she pulled herself to her feet, ears ringing and helped the rest of her team to their feet.
Someone had set off a bomb in the trade centre.
"No, no, no," she whispered under her breath. "No, Liara!"
"They just took out three floors to make sure she's dead," cried Vasir. "I'll take the transport to the top and seal it off. You go in the front!"
Shepard ran, urging her group inside, taking the stairs three at a time, heedless of the flames that bit at her skin. She had to find Liara. She had to know for sure, if all hope was gone. If she had lost another friend who was like a younger sister to her.
The building was a mess, dead bodies everywhere.
"Shit. This is a disaster," Shepard muttered to herself, urging her team on.
Garrus paused by a dead asari. "Shepard, look. This one has bullet wounds. Military grade."
"Military grade?"
Vasir cut in over the comm. "Guess this wasn't just an explosion. Your little friend has made a lot of powerful enemies in her hunt for the Shadow Broker."
"Yeah, well, they've made an enemy of me now, and trust me, I'm worse," Shepard said darkly.
The group moved on, scaling rubble and broken desks. Eventually they came to the Baria Frontiers office.
Shepard shared a meaningful look with Miranda and gestured towards the log-in datapad. Miranda nodded, understanding explicitly that Shepard wanted her to read it for her, saving them valuable time and any embarrassment on Shepard's behalf trying to stumble through the words.
"It says Liara only signed in minutes ago," Miranda said.
"Good, let's go."
Shepard turned the corner, glad to be so close to Liara, when there was a tinkling sound and a shock grenade rolled to nudge her boot.
Shepard didn't think. She just acted. She flicked her fingers and a barrier sprung up around her body, a solid wall against the grenade as it exploded.
The concussive force echoed around the room, bouncing off their collective biotic barriers.
Agile as a cat, she rolled to the side, in the same movement drawing her pistol.
"Cover up, people! Vasir, we've got hostiles," she barked into her comm.
"Say hello to the Shadow Broker's private army, Commander!" Vasir responded, and Shepard couldn't help but think she sounded remarkably unconcerned.
"Fucking hell. How well equipped is this guy!?" Shepard moaned as another grenade whizzed by her head, batted away at the last moment by one of Samara's biotic missiles.
"It would seem he or she is very rich and knowledgeable, in other words - very well equipped," Samara reposed serenely, and Shepard rolled her eyes.
"Thank you, Samara, but I was being sarcastic," Shepard puffed as she spun and whipped a biotic lash around a merc's legs, pulling him off his feet, then dodged out of the way of more gunfire. She ducked behind a wall Garrus was braced against. He raised his rifle and let off suppressing fire for her to catch her breath.
"I know," Samara called to her. "Have you ever been told sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Shepard?"
"Then it's perfect for me." Shepard grinned. "Don't be such a spoil sport, or I'll have to start calling you Grandma like Jack does."
"You could try, Shepard. I would then proceed to confine you to your quarters until your behaviour improved. And there would be no dessert after dinner." Samara's lips twitched as she held a Shadow Broker agent down with one long, elegant leg, her heel in his throat, and smashed another into the wall with a wave of her hand.
Shepard snorted. "Did you just make a joke?"
"I may have."
Between the five of them, they rapidly cleared up the Shadow Broker's agents. They were well-trained and impeccably equipped, but with the four powerful biotic women (and Garrus' guns), they were no match.
They moved quickly through the offices, meeting scattered resistance and more paratroopers crashing through the windows. Shepard's need to find Liara drove her quicker and quicker until finally Miranda put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back.
"Getting yourself a bullet in the brain will not help Miles. Calm down. We can do this. But we need to be careful and thorough."
Shepard shook her shoulder from her grip. "Noted."
Baria Frontiers' main office awaited them. There were two vast doors as an entrance that Garrus quickly started hacking through. Shepard bounced on the ball of her feet, eager and antsy.
A gunshot rent the air and Garrus threw open the doors. Shepard burst inside.
There was a dead salarian, no doubt Sekat, another Shadow Broker soldier, and Vasir standing over the two bodies.
Shepard swore and crossed to Sekat, checking his body for the data he had promised to give Liara.
"Damn it! It's not here."
"What a pity. If I was only a little quicker, I could have stopped them," Vasir said, not sounding sorry at all. "Did you find your friend's dead body?"
"You mean this body?"
Shepard spun.
Liara stood there in a white and blue armored lab-coat. There was a dark, furious look on her face as she held a pistol pointed at Vasir.
"Liara!" Shepard exclaimed. "I'm glad you're alright. This is Vasir. She's a Spectre. She's been helping me find you."
Liara shook her head. "This is the woman who tried to kill me."
Vasir smirked, backing away from the pointed pistol. "You've had a rough day, so I'll let that slide. Why don't you put the gun down?"
"I saw you! I doubled back after I left." Liara frowned. "I watched you break into my apartment."
Shepard backed away from Vasir, moving to stand by Liara, with Miranda, Samara, Jack and Garrus by her side. She pulled out her pistol and held it pointed at Vasir.
She was so damn sick of turncoat Spectres.
Shepard supposed now the Council had added her to that list.
Saren Arterius, Tela Vasir, and Shepard. Quite the fallen trio.
Shepard saw it all now. "You needed me to find the message. I knew something was off about you."
Vasir's eyes danced with feral amusement, her face paint stretching with her grin. "Figured it out, did you, honey? Took you long enough. You're unique. I couldn't find where your friend had gone without you." Vasir's dark lips twisted with hate. "Thanks for the help."
"You don't care about capturing me for the Council, because you're not working for them anymore." Shepard couldn't help feeling a rush of anger at how she had been played. "You work for the Shadow Broker."
"She tried to kill me," Liara said, tightening her gripped on the pistol. All the while Vasir looked as calm as if she was out on a morning stroll. "She bombed the building. She killed Sekat for the data. I'm guessing she still has the disk on her."
"Good guess," Vasir said. "Not that you'll ever see what's on it..."
She flared.
"…You pureblood bitch!"
The window shattered as Vasir called upon her dark energy to send the shards of needle-sharp glass flying at Shepard's squad.
It was the most pathetic gesture Shepard had ever seen. Did she really think some glass would be able to stand in her way?
Almost casually Shepard raised her arm, constructing a biotic barrier around the group, and even then, Liara knelt, extending her hand and adding her own power to the dome. The glass shards turned to sand on impact.
Jack, Miranda and Samara didn't even bother raising their own arms to help. Liara's and Shepard's barrier alone was strong enough to stop a tank.
Shepard charged for Vasir, pleased to see the expression of alarm on her face. Vasir ran for the window, and as Shepard caught her around the waist, threw them both out of it.
Shepard groped for the edge, but felt her nails rent off under her armor as she ineffectually clawed for purchase. Vasir used her heavier body weight to pull Shepard.
They plummeted over the side.
Shepard flared, intent on stopping her descent, and their inertia slowed as her mass effect fields kicked in.
They had a short but furious struggle in mid air. Vasir punched Shepard in the mouth, drawing blood, and Shepard retaliated by head-butting her.
They fell in slow motion, a graceful twisting of bodies, an azure maelstrom of flaring biotics.
The wind sped through Shepard's hood, throwing it back and letting her hair stream behind her, undone from its braid. She felt like a small canary who'd been pounced on by a great blue bird of prey.
She didn't care.
Shepard felt no fear, no alarm. She had her inborn powers to protect her. Gravity held no secrets, no mystery. She didn't understand the physics, the math behind it like Kaidan did. It was a jumble of numbers and words and dry books. But this... This was what she was made for. To be free. To fall and not care about the landing. It was her element. Kaidan couldn't trust in the eezo nodules inside him, but for most of her life they were the only things Shepard could trust.
Vasir was fool, and a dead woman walking. She was just an obstacle in the way of Miles, and Shepard would obliterate her.
Vasir screamed, furious, as blood streamed from her nose; flying around their bubble and staining their armor.
Shepard coated a fist in biotics and punched Vasir again, hissing in bloodthirsty satisfaction when she knocked three of her teeth out.
"You bitch," Vasir seethed, as Shepard ducked another blow aimed for her head. Shepard was clearly superior in hand-to-hand. She had to be. Biotics built up coordination, accuracy, and control. Shepard may not have been as physically strong as someone like Garrus or Kaidan, but she was precise, and knew where to hit to cause pain. Dancer's limbs had hidden strength, and Shepard was nothing but a dancer when she fought.
"You think you're something special. Humans and their weak biotics. Think you compare to an asari? I'll show you what you really are, gutter trash."
Before Shepard could stop her, Vasir reached around the back of her neck and yanked.
"Just a machine," Vasir spat. "And machines can be broken."
Shepard felt shocks course through her body, her limbs go limp, a migraine race through her brain. She blinked in horror, dull and stupid, as Vasir triumphantly held something metal up and then threw it away into the evening air.
Shepard's biotic dome failed her, winking out of existence. The light went out of her world, leaving Shepard powerless and empty.
Vasir kicked her away from her own mass effect field. Shepard plummeted like a stone, hinting the ground with a bone-shattering jolt. She bit her tongue, blood filled her mouth, and a biting pain bloomed in her abdomen. She tasted the acrid bite of iron, blood running down her nose.
It seemed her whole core was jarred and the world tilted ominously.
She lay still, groaning, and tried desperately not to black out. Darkness seeped along the edges of her vision.
Vasir had ripped her amp out of her implant.
Convulsions wracked her muscles, improperly discharged dark energy flickering over her body like lightning. She curled into a ball, trying to lessen the pain and prayed to every god she never believed in that she didn't have a stroke or brain aneurism.
If she died, Miles was a Cerberus slave forever.
He'd grow up a little trained lapdog for the Illusive Man.
The Illusive Man's right hand, as his mother had never had been. All of Shepard's and Kaidan's best parts, working for the wrong side.
Maybe one day he'd happen along his father and shoot him in the head, never knowing who he was.
Just a Cerberus and Alliance soldier meeting on the battlefield.
Fuck that, Shepard thought desperately, willing herself to not succumb to the pain. She was all he had. She had to get up.
She watched, half-conscious of Vasir who landed softly and took off running.
"No..." she moaned, trying to struggle to her feet. Miles needed that data. She stood but toppled over again, smacking her chin into the concrete, and felt one of her back teeth loosen and splinter. She spat the ruined tooth and a wad of blood onto the ground.
Liara dived out of the window, Samara, Miranda and Jack just behind her. Even Garrus jumped too, aided by Samara's mass effect field.
"Shepard!" Liara gasped hurrying to her side, but Shepard waved her on.
"You fucking run after her! Kill that bitch. Don't let her out of your sight! We need that data."
Liara nodded and raced off after Vasir's retreating back. She wreathed her arms in biotics, and threw any Shadow Broker soldiers in her way aside like they were mere gnats.
"What are you waiting for?" Shepard barked to the others as they rushed to help her. "Forget me! I'm not the priority. Miles is the mission! Run, Garrus! Kill her, Jack!"
They nodded, Garrus looking torn, but obediently ran after Liara.
Miranda and Samara stayed behind to help Shepard.
Miranda was at her side in seconds. "Oh, Shepard," she breathed. "Why did you let her rip out your amp? You fell like a bird with broken wings. Samara had to hold Garrus back from jumping out after you. Without biotic aid, at that. He's so reckless."
"I couldn't help it, she was too quick," Shepard mumbled, sitting up awkwardly as Miranda began injecting her with temporary healing meds and stimulants.
"Find her amp. She needs it," Miranda said, turning to Samara.
Samara listened to Miranda's instructions, and started searching around for Shepard's removed amp in the building's courtyard. There was a biotic flash of light and Shepard knew Samara was looking, not with her eyes, but with her senses, using biotics to trace the amp's residual dark energy.
"I'm hurt pretty bad. My abdomen is killing me. I hit the ground damn hard and I think I'm bleeding. Fuck, where's my amp? I need it!"
"Shh, shh, it's alright. I'll fix you," Miranda soothed, kneeling at her side, and manifesting her omni-tool. She smeared medi-gel where she could reach and some of the pain loosened its grip on Shepard. Miranda gently smoothed the sweaty hair off Shepard's feverish brow.
"You'll be fine. Nothing is broken. Just take a few deep breaths."
Shepard bit her lip as Miranda helped her climb to her feet, dusting her off. Time was ticking, so Shepard experimentally took a step, and was rewarded with only a small fire of pain in her stomach. Probably minor internal bleeding. Chakwas could fix it later. If she was wearing her regular armor, this probably wouldn't have hurt so bad, she thought, chagrined. Damn Kasumi's non-shock absorbing light armor.
"Thank god," she sighed, relieved when Samara procured her amp, miraculously undamaged, and jogged over to insert it back into the base of Shepard's skull. Not exactly hygienic, but she'd rather risk an infection than delay to clean it. "I thought I was gonna have a stroke."
She winced as she felt her eezo nodules flare to life again, shaking sparks off her hands.
"I haven't been de-amped like that before. She could have killed me in a second."
They started running, eager to catch up with Vasir and the others. Dead Shadow Broker agents littered the auditorium.
"Listen, if I do die," Shepard puffed, trying to speak and sprint at the same time. "I want you to make sure Kaidan has Miles-"
"You're not gonna die, don't be silly," Miranda protested. "You just got a bit knocked around. I see no signs of an aneurism."
"I don't mean now. I mean whenever. If I die...if I'm murdered or something, promise me you'll make him safe, somehow. I want him to go to his father."
"You're not going to die. Ever."
They vaulted a flower bed, catching a glimpse of biotics ahead. Must have been Jack, no doubt throwing an unfortunate soldier around.
"Dammit, Miranda! Everyone dies. Some die young. I don't wanna leave him behind, all alone. Just promise."
"You'd extract that promise from me, even knowing what I've done?" Miranda asked, flicking her blonde hair out of her face. Her voice sounded like a little girl's, small and tentative. "How can you trust me?"
"Yes, I would," Shepard said, pumping her legs harder, ignoring all her aches and pain. She spat more blood onto the ground and pushed past it. "I know you love him."
They paused to engage more Shadow Broker soldiers, taking a break behind a support strut to patch herself up some more.
Samara almost single-handily destroyed their opposition, so Shepard whispered quickly and quietly to Miranda. "You love him probably even more than I do. Aside from carrying and giving birth to him, I've never been in the same room as him. You think of him as your own son. I know you do. I saw it. You wanted 'Tommy' for your own. I know why you hate Kaidan. You have to have feelings before you have hate."
Miranda hastily injected her with some painkillers from her med pouch, along with a mild amphetamine. Shepard instantly felt better, her heart beating quicker and her aches dulling. She felt better suited to showing that bitch Vasir that no one ever got away with de-amping her. The thought of it made her shudder.
Shepard pulled out her pistol, ready to rejoin the fight. She met Miranda's eyes steadily, just before they ran again. "Who better to keep that promise than the one who hurt me the most, and the one with the most debt owed to me? You won't betray me again. You'll pay for it with your life."
Miranda nodded. "I promise."
"Good. Now let's go help Liara kill that bitch asari."
Liara, Garrus and Jack had Vasir pinned down when Shepard arrived.
Shepard ran, intent on holding Vasir down and choking the life out of her before she took back the data that would lead to the location of the Shadow Broker, and in turn, her son.
No one was going to stand in her way.
Vasir disappeared for a moment, hunkering down behind a skycar and, to Shepard's horror, somehow remotely controlled another skycar to come and pick her up. She ran for the edge, intent on jumping off and into her 'car.
Shepard gave a raw yell, charging ahead again. She couldn't escape. She couldn't. Shepard would not allow it.
Vasir made it to her 'car, zooming away.
Shepard swore fiercely, panting, eyes wild. She couldn't control the rush of rage that had her biotics flaring erratically. Her chest heaved and she made a strangled moaning noise, on the verge of losing it completely.
She'd never been so fucking angry.
Luckily Liara kept her composure.
"Get in, Shepard! She's not escaping us," Liara called, already bundling into another skycar.
"Miranda, Jack, get in!" Shepard barked, sprinting for the 'car. "Garrus, Samara, head back to the Normandy and let them know what's going on. Be ready to go." She settled into the front seat, Liara firing up the skycar. "We're getting that data, and then we're going to tear the Shadow Broker down. His information is ours," she snarled.
"Be careful, Shepard," Garrus said with a worried flap of his mandibles. Shepard wondered just how wild she looked. "And don't worry; we'll be good to go."
"Good luck," Samara called.
They took off.