HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 37- MIRACLES

Note- Don't own M*A*S*H. I do own Hope Jones.

Long after her hair and body were clean, Hope let the water run down her face along with her tears even though the water was cold by then. She replayed the events of that day through her mind; leaving Cho Hee at the orphanage, Francis declaring his love for her, hiding from the enemy soldiers, the young Korean man and his pregnant wife, Francis' passionate kiss behind the tent and Hawkeye's angry question about her relationship with the priest .She quickly dried off and put on a clean uniform. All she wanted was some coffee, food and some rest.

Once again, the war had other plans. Hope had just finished lacing up her boots when the PA system crackled with the announcement that they had incoming wounded. She stopped long enough in her run to help with triage to look heavenward and say, "Look Lord, I didn't ask you "what's next?" today."

The "what's next" answer came anyway. Out of the four surgeons she could have been assisting, she wound up with Hawkeye. She could hear the anger in his voice with every request he made for a surgical instrument and anything else he told her to do. Staying focused on her work became increasingly difficult. She did everything possible to give him the instruments he asked for without hesitation. Everything was alright until he asked for Metzenbaum scissors and she handed him Mayo scissors by mistake. He exploded at her. "Are you deaf and dumb, or just dumb? I said Metzenbaum scissors!" Hope mumbled "sorry" and handed him the correct instrument.

Major Houlihan crossed the operating room and went to Hope's side. "Lieutenant, go assist Captain Hunnicutt. I'll take over here."

"Yes, ma'am." Hope was grateful to be out of the line of Hawkeye's fury. She could see BJ's sympathetic smile under his mask and his gentle voice soothed her spirits; enabling her to stay focused on the job at hand. The rest of the OR session went off without a hitch. She didn't miss a beat in giving him the instruments he asked for.

Colonel Potter had intended on being the first one to lay into Hawkeye about the way he had treated Hope in the OR, but Father Mulcahy beat him to it.

"Hawkeye, how could you talk to Lieutenant Jones that way? Yes, she made a mistake in handing you the wrong instrument. She's not the first nurse that has done that and I have never heard you yell at them like that. You have no idea what this day has been like for her…or me! We almost didn't make it back. There was an enemy patrol out on the road when we were on our way back from St. Teresa's orphanage. Hope and I spent several hours hiding from them until we thought it was safe enough to attempt the trip back to camp."

"Yes, I know Father. She told me." Hawkeye answered looking down at the ground. He dared not look at Francis Mulcahy, because if the priest's eyes had been flame throwers he would have been vaporized.

Colonel Potter bellowed, "You knew what she'd been through and you still yelled at her? Good God Almighty Pierce, you've not only got mush for brains, you're a world class jackass! You owe that young woman a mighty big apology!"

Hope threw her surgical cap and gown in the laundry bin and went outside. When she saw the little drama playing out between Colonel Potter, Hawkeye and Francis, she headed in the opposite direction. She saw that Major Houlihan was headed toward the mess tent and stopped her. "Excuse me Major. May I talk to you for a minute?"

The head nurse turned and said in a rather annoyed tone of voice, "Yes, Lieutenant. What is it?"

"Major, I'm sorry that my performance in OR was not up to par. I won't let it happen again. I've had a very long, very difficult day, but that's no excuse."

"Lieutenant, you made a mistake in handing him the wrong instrument and you know it. But it's not you I'm not upset with. It's Captain Pierce. It seemed like he was angry with you about a personal matter and that should never happen in the operating room. He'll be hearing from me, make no mistake."

"Thank you Major."

The major was a little surprised to hear Hope's expression of gratitude. "Lieutenant, join me for a cup of coffee?"

"Yes Major, I would like that. I sure could use about a gallon of the stuff."

After being blasted by both Colonel Potter and Father Mulcahy, Hawkeye went to the Swamp, fully expecting another person to let him have it and the minute he entered the Swamp. BJ lit into him.

"Hawkeye, what is wrong with you? You had no business talking to Hope like you did. It was more than her handing you the wrong instrument, it was personal. Don't deny it."

"I won't deny it, because it's true Beej. It was personal."

"Why? What did she do that's got you so worked up?"

Hawkeye hesitated to tell BJ why he was so upset, so angry with Hope. Now he felt like the world class jackass that Colonel Potter had called him earlier. He rubbed his face with his hands and sighed, "Alright, I'll tell you this much. I think something's going on between Hope and Father Mulcahy."

BJ was surprised to hear this. "Really? Mulcahy and Hope? What makes you think that something's going on between them?"

"I've seen them together, deep in conversation. Several times." He omitted that he had seen Mulcahy pull Hope behind a tent shortly after they came back from the orphanage.

"So? They're friends. They talk. He's a clergyman and she's a clergyman's daughter. They have something in common."

"It's more than that. It's the way he looks at her."

It finally dawned on BJ what Hawkeye was driving at. "You think he's in love with her? Or more than that, she's in love with him?"

Hawkeye simply answered, "Yes."

BJ chuckled softly and said, "You're jealous of the two of them, plain and simple. That's no excuse for…"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because Winchester entered the Swamp and yelled, "Pierce, you are without a doubt an unfeeling cad! How dare you speak to Lieutenant Jones that way! "

Hawkeye looked up at his tent mates, feeling the sting of the verbal tongue lashings he'd just received. "O.k., I was out of line. Why don't you just line me up in front of a firing squad?"

"Go and apologize to her Pierce; then Hunnicutt and I may grant you a stay of execution," Winchester told him.

When Hawkeye found Hope in the mess tent sitting with Major Houlihan, he braced himself for what the head nurse was going to say to him. He walked up to their table and asked if he could sit down with them. The major nodded "yes" and he sat next to her. She turned to him and said, "Pierce, I have something to say to you later. Right now, the person you should be talking to is Lieutenant Jones." She got up and left the mess tent.

Hope was rubbing circles around the rim of her coffee cup with the fingers of her right hand, gazing down into it as if it contained the mysteries of the universe. She clutched the edge of the table with her left hand.

He nervously cleared his throat and softly said, "Hope I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you in the OR. I was out of line."

What was she going to say to him? Her heart and body hurt too much right then to say anything, but she had to say something. Hope was in no mood to forgive him then, but everything she believed in told her that she must do it sometime. She didn't even look up at him when she muttered, "I forgive you Hawkeye."

He reached out to take her left hand, but she pulled it away and placed it in her lap. Hope finally looked up at him and said, "O.k, I said I forgive you. If you care about me at all, just go away. I've been through a lot today and I've had all I can take, especially from you."

Those last few words she had spoken hit Hawkeye with the realization that if things had turned out differently that day, he would have truly lost her. The very fact that Hope and Father Mulcahy had made it back to camp was a miracle. Right then, he wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her how thankful that she was safe and sound. Instead, he did what she asked and left her alone.

He cautiously entered the Swamp and announced, "Alright, I apologized to Hope. I'm an idiot. I lost sight of the fact that if things had gone differently for her and Mulcahy, they wouldn't be here right now."

BJ gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean "if things had gone differently?"

Hawkeye sat down on his bed. "On the way back from the orphanage, Hope and the Father spent several hours hiding from an enemy patrol, waiting until they thought it was safe enough to get back on the road."

Winchester sighed, " I classify their return as a miracle."

"Yes it is," Hawkeye responded. "Now I'm hoping for another miracle, that Hope will really forgive me. She said the words to me a few minutes ago, but I know she didn't mean them."

"Well my friend, that's one miracle you are going to have to wait for," BJ told him.

Hope sat alone in the mess tent thinking about all that had happened to her that day. She would not have believed anyone that morning if they had told her the easiest part of the day would be leaving Cho Hee at the orphanage. She had never been more frightened in her life, hiding from the enemy soldiers. But Francis' declaration of love was something that had lasting consequences, something she could not easily escape. He was dear and precious to her and more than anything, she wanted to protect him from being hurt. Did that mean she loved him romantically? Whatever it meant, Hope would never betray him by telling anyone he was in love with her.

When Klinger spoke to her, she was so lost in thought that she didn't hear him. He touched her shoulder and she yelped, "What is it?" She looked up to see Klinger standing there. " Max, you startled me."

" Sorry Hope. I know it's really late, but the Korean couple wanted to see you and Father Mulcahy. They want you to see their new baby and thank you for bringing them here."

"Oh, that would be a wonderful ending for a pretty awful day! I would love to see their little one." She flashed him a weary smile and followed him to Post-Op. Francis was already there when she walked into Post-Op. She joined him at the beside of the new mother and baby.

She stood beside Francis and for a few moments and studied his face. As weary as she knew he must be, nothing could hide the pure joy in his eyes at seeing the baby.

"It's a little boy. Hope isn't he beautiful?"

Without thinking, she put her arm around his shoulder and gave him a quick hug."Yes, he is Francis. He's a lovely boy."

The baby's father asked Hope, "you want to hold baby?"

Hope smiled and answered, "Oh yes."

The priest noticed how her face glowed as she held the baby and talked softly to the boy. He let his imagination take him to a place where this woman he stood next to was his wife and she was holding their child. It was a sweet and wonderful place to be.

Hope turned and looked up at the priest's face. "Francis, do you think it would be appropriate to give this little fellow a blessing?"

He smiled and answered, "Yes, it certainly would." She handed the baby to him and he softly whispered. "God bless you little one and be with you and your parents all the days of your lives. Amen." He kissed the baby's forehead and handed the child back to the mother.

When Hope and Francis were outside of Post-Op, she struggled for the words she wanted to say to him and decided there was one thing she had to tell him right away. "Francis, I want you to know something right now."

"What is it?" He wondered if she reciprocated his affection, but at that moment it was too much to hope for.

"What you told me today… that you're in love with me…I will keep it to myself. It's private and personal between us. I care for you too much to betray your trust." She lightly kissed his cheek.

He was too overcome by his emotions to say more than a whispered, "Thank you."

"Good night Francis, rest well."

"Good night Hope. "

She left him standing there and as she walked toward the nurses' tent she heard another voice call out to her. "Good night Hope."

She turned around to see Hawkeye step out of the shadows and prayed he had not heard what she just told Francis. " Hope, I'm so thankful you made it back here safe and sound. I don't know what else to say."

"Don't say anything else now Hawkeye. Tomorrow is soon enough. Good night."

Hawkeye let out his anger and jealousy out on Hope in the OR. When he finally realizes what the outcome of Hope and Francis' trip could have been, he's regretting his actions. Now he'll have to wait for Hope to really forgive him for being such an idiot.

Hope hasn't told Francis that she's in love with him, but she cares enough not to betray his trust.

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