Disclaimer: all SM characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi. But I do own this story. If you like it, review it, fav it, bookmark it. But please don't steal it!
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A.N.: So sorry for taking me so long to update this! I've been busy lately, and then I got inspired to write another story, so I got sucked by it, and well... what can I say? I suck at multitasking.
Good news is, the end is very, very near! So take this as a slightly-early Christmas present! Hope you enjoy it! You know the deal, R&R!
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Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you.
As the river flows, gently to the sea
darling, so we go. Somethings were meant to be.
Take my hand. Take my whole life too.
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you.
(Can't help falling in love with you - Darren Hayes ['cause I like his version better])
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34
Like a whale. That's how she felt.
Actually, she felt more like a meat roulade. She was the meat, her pants were the string, and her hips in general and ass in particular were the filling, just about to explode any second now.
Why on earth did she think she could pull this off? She had spent the best part of the last two months either sitting on uncomfortable chairs beside a hospital bed, or riddled to a bed herself. Or just sitting around and doing not much at all, with everyone around her forcing food down her throat. That was, when she was not doing it herself, having inexplicable and uncontrollable urges to eat cheese burgers in the middle of the night, or devouring cheese rolls with whipped cream over them, or half a cheesecake all by herself while sitting in front of the TV. Actually, she discovered she craved for anything with cheese these days; she had added large amounts of all kinds of rich in fat cheese to her usually healthy diet, and this was the end result now.
She was fat. And her pants were resenting it.
Sure, she was pregnant, and it was normal to gain weight. And her belly was slowly beginning to swollen up. It wasn't exactly showing yet, and she could easily hide it with her clothes. But dressing pants were not supposed to be this tight around the hips and bottom, and her ego wouldn't let her go out and letting the entire world assume she was just gaining weight and earning herself a huge ass.
"Are you ready?" Seiya's voice came from the bedroom.
A growl was the only response she gave as she took the pants off.
She had originally planned on wearing a simple suit and tie. But that was obviously not going to work, considering none of her dressing pants would fit her properly. She could keep the white dressing shirt, but she obviously had to find something else to go along with that.
Sure, it was a benefit concert. But there would be enough rock and pop idols, and some other personalities from the spotlights; that usually meant not just a concert, but also a bit of a fashion show as well. And the dressing code for those occasions was not exactly formal; she could pull off a cool and fashionable look easily enough, with no need to wear something that would let others know exactly how many pounds she had gained in the last two months…
"Haruka?" Seiya called out again, as his black head popped up from the door frame.
"Just a minute," she said, just as she was putting on a pair of black leather pants.
Tight and black. Perfect.
She hadn't reached that point were tight was a big no-no, and black always helped to conceal a few extra pounds. The shirt would do the rest, hiding her hips.
Sensing eyes on her, she turned her face around only to find Seiya looking at her. Resting his shoulder against the walk-in closet doorframe, hands in his washed-out black jeans and an amused smile dancing on his lips.
"I'm almost done," she apologized, working a simple black tie and letting it hang loose around her neck, undoing the first two buttons of her shirt to add to the desired effect.
It never took her this long to get ready.
Not that he remembered that, but still. She felt bad for making him wait for her while she got dressed. Being late was just not an option; not when his appearance on stage was going to be one of the main attractions of the night.
Good luck she already had her makeup done. Just a bit of blush over her cheeks, a generous amount of black and grey eyeshadow and black eyeliner to give a smokey eye effect, and natural colored lipstick. Her hair, as usual, hadn't required much work, and she let her wild blonde strands go around her head and face as they pleased.
Not bothering on sitting down, she balanced her weight in one foot, then the other as she put her black leather three inches heeled, buckle stiletto boots on. Straightening herself up again, she made a mental check, making sure she wasn't forgetting anything. But when nothing came to mind, she grabbed a navy blue suit jacket and threw it on; the fabric would help hide her expanding hips while complementing the outfit and her own personal style perfectly.
"Good choice," she heard Seiya's comment, making her turn around just to see him eying her up and down, nodding his approval. "Vanima elea."
She stumbled upon her own feet. "What?" she asked, grabbing one of the shelves on the closet for support as she tried to balance herself, blinking up to him, surprised out of her mind.
Did he say what she thought he said? It was barely a whisper… Did she hear him right?
Why would he say that? Yes, she was sure he at least liked her, and he had previously admitted himself he was attracted to her. So it wasn't such a rare thing for him to say something like that. And yet...
To say things were awkward between the two was an understatement. As he had promised, he had called her the day before, but only to say he had forgotten his clothes for the show there. After saying he needed to make some sort of arrangements and that he would be busy and wouldn't be able to come by until right before the show, he had all but hung up on her.
She could understand he was busy, maybe even nervous and edgy about tonight, and there hadn't really been a chance for them to talk. After showing up barely two hours ago, they both had started getting ready for tonight, getting showered and dressed, and again, the time for that -by now, very delayed- morning after conversation just never came.
But she couldn't help but notice there was something off about him. He would keep his distance at times, saying only what was necessary and then keep quiet. And then it was as if he couldn't help himself, unable to resist it, and he would gift her with a smile -his smile; the one he would always save only for her-, or a soft, tender kiss on the cheek. Or he would go and say something, just like what he said just now, in barely an audible whisper; the kind of endearing, teasing thing Seiya would normally say to her. And it was because of that that it only confused her even more.
"Ready?" he asked, completely and deliberately ignoring her question, and stepping off the frame he was resting against, walking back into the room with all the intention of get going.
Biting back the growl that wanted to escape her, she shook her head, stepping out of the walk-in closet as well. She followed him out of the room and down the stairs, and after making sure Kalina had water and food on her plates, she grabbed her keys, ready to head out.
There would be no driving tonight. It had been arranged for a car to pick them up and take them to the hotel the show was being held on, and then back home. She wasn't particularly keen on being drive around, having to depend on a chauffeur, but she wasn't about to argue with the organization that had put the show together. There wasn't much room for arguing, anyway, and at least this way she wouldn't have to worry about the valet guy scratching her car...
Already waiting for them, standing right next to the impeccable black car, the chauffeur opened the door for them to get in and then went around it, getting in himself and starting the car. And as the houses of their neighborhood started passing by through the window, she turned around to look at the men sitting next to her.
"Nervous?" she asked, if only to break the silence.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips at her question, almost imperceptible but still there, as he tilted his head to a side, rearranging his tie. "A little," he admitted. "Anxious, is more like it," he then corrected himself, as his smile grew just a little bit.
She frowned.
Really, what was it about him today? He was acting so strange. It was exactly the way Seiya always acted when he wanted to play the mystery card and surprise her. And though she didn't want to over think it, she didn't want to see and read signs that weren't there, she couldn't help the small light of hope that was tickling at the tip of her stomach.
Was he starting to remember something? Anything at all?
Even if he wasn't, he was planning something. She was sure of it; she knew him too well. She just didn't know what was going on on that black head of his, and she honestly didn't know what to expect out of whatever it was he was hiding under his sleeve.
She just prayed it wouldn't involve any embarrassing moment on her part...
The car made it to the hotel too fast for her liking, and taking a deep breath, she accepted Seiya's hand, stepping out of the car. The flashes started immediately, capturing every second, every move, and they both smiled and waved to the cameras. His hand made it to her waist, easily and casually, and that hollow inside her chest attacked her once more.
He was playing the part perfectly, yet she couldn't help but resent him for it.
"Haruka! Seiya!" the reporters yelled at them from behind the red rope.
"Seiya! What will you be singing tonight?" one of them asked, pointing a microphone his way.
The singer smiled. "I don't want to ruin the surprise for the fans," he answered, easily, and he gifted the reporter and the cameras all around with one of his radiant, confident, charming smiles. "You're gonna have to wait and see."
As expected, questions jumped his way, and they both chuckled and smiled to the cameras, waving their hands as they made the way inside.
"Feeding the expectations?" she teased, once the doors closed behind them and a guard guided them into the room the show and after party were to be held on.
"Yeah, you know... selling the fantasy."
She stopped dead on her tracks at that, blinking up at him. And he looked right back at her, shoving his hands into his jean pockets almost sheepishly. That smile, that soft, tender, loving smile dancing on his lips, and those midnight blues shining up to her.
"Seiya..." she called out to him, in a low, trembling whisper. "What..."
"Finally!" a female voice interrupted her before she could even began to form a half coherent question in her mind, making them both turn around only to find Seiya's drummer girl marching her way up to them. "We need to talk!"
"Well, hello to you too," Seiya said, obviously amused, for whatever reason.
Black eyes narrowed at him then, before she turned to look at the tall blonde. "You mind if I take him away?" she asked to her while not so nicely grabbing Seiya by the arm. "Don't worry, I promise I won't hurt him," she then assured her, before narrowing her eyes again and looking at the singer in question. "Much."
.-.
She dragged him off and away before the racer had time to react at all. Oh, well, she'd apologize for her rudeness later. Right now, she had a singer to yell at.
Walking into the dressing room she knew had been assigned to the singer, she dragged him inside and then shut the door closed behind her.
"Are you freaking mental?" she asked, hands going up in the air in pure exasperation and barely able to keep herself from yelling at the top of her lungs; neither of them wanted this little argument to leak to the press, after all. "Why did you change tracks?"
"I told you…"
"I know what you said!" she interrupted him. "But you didn't say anything about changing the freaking track list!"
He frowned, apparently not understanding her anger. "But I thought you liked it…"
No, he obviously didn't.
"That's not the point!" she yelled. "I don't even know this song!"
"It's not such a hard one… and you're the best drummer I know. You can do this," he said, trying to buy her off with his one of his charming smiles.
Which only pissed her off even more. Who did he think she was? One of his drooling fans? She was dangerously close from punching the guy, and she vaguely wondered what the headlines would be if he showed up on stage with a black eye and a bleeding nose…
"That's not the point either!"
"Then what is the point?" he asked, actually having the nerve of getting a bit exasperated himself.
She took a deep breath, reminding herself that punching Seiya right now was just not an option; that would have to wait a few days. Or maybe she could do so tomorrow…
"I hope you realize how much trouble you just cost me, pal," she said, growling lowly.
He blinked. "I can honestly say I have absolutely no idea what you mean by that."
She growled again, punching him on the chest. Not hard enough to actually hurt him, but hard enough to make a point and make the guy shut up. And when he just blinked at her, blue eyes wide and big, she growled.
"You know what?" she said, eyeing him up and down rather angrily. "Instead of spending the last week locked up in a freaking studio with you, practicing songs you just decided not to play, I could've spent it playing doctor with a very gorgeous woman!" she finished, raising both hands up in the air.
One black eyebrow went up at that, teasingly. "Let me guess," he said, smiling, actually amused, "a doctor?"
"A very hot one!" she exclaimed, raising her hands up again. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since I got laid?" she asked. "Two weeks!" she then answered her own question. "Two long, fucking weeks spent with your sorry ass instead of a nice one!" she finished, shoving both hands on his chest and pushing him.
He chuckled, and to his credit, he did look like he was trying not to laugh -not that it helped much, but at least the guy was trying-, as she shrunk his shoulders. "I'm sorry, ok?" he apologized. "It was sort of a last moment thing…"
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "What did you do?" she asked, massaging the brick of her nose.
"What do you mean?"
"To Haruka!" she exclaimed, easily losing her temper again before she forced herself to take another deep breath. "What did you do?" she asked again, a bit calmer this time. "Because you obviously did something, this sounds way too much like a lovey dovey declaration," she pointed out. "And, quite frankly? It should be more of an apology…"
"I didn't do anything, ok?" he said, interrupting her. "I just feel like singing this one tonight," he added, giving a small, sided smile that, she had to admit, looked honest enough. "I trust you, Mora. You can pull this one off."
She crossed her arms over her chest at that, shoving her nose up in the air. "I know I can," she said, not caring how arrogant she sounded right now. "But that doesn't make you any less of a dead man after this is over."
He chucked then, as if mentally laughing to some joke Mora didn't get at all.
"Yeah, I know," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets as a rather wistful smile came to his lips and his eyes seemed to get lost on some undefined spot. But then his smile got wider, excited over something, and his eyes lightened up. "But it'd be worth it."