More or Less 38- "Blood that Glows"

"Something's changed," Angel said.

The Cathera demons were retreating, like they were giving up and Connor was pissed. He had so much more fight in him; he couldn't believe he had ever wanted to give it up. His hands wrenched on the steel handle of the sword Angel had given him.

"Something has definitely changed, but what?"

Connor heard his father repeat himself with that quiet intense voice that Connor coined his batman voice. He knew he could get a laugh out of Faith if he brought that up, but he didn't. He just stared at Faith who looked simple and perfect in her dark denim jacket and crossbow. He could smell her. He could feel the smell of her sweet saltiness in his mouth. It went down his throat. People didn't realize; they didn't know how she could be so rough but so beautiful, so powerful. They'd say it was her face, her smiles, her frowns, they'd say it was because she had a truck-driver mouth with a soft curved body. People were morons; they didn't know it was in her blood. Now she just had to get the tiniest scratch and he could smell it. It was like one of his father's expensive wines just dripping itself on asphalt. Not Angel, but the father Angel had given him. Connor never used to notice Faith's blood like this, but ever since Sajahn had fed him Kennedy's blood and tried to convince him he was a vampire…But, Connor wasn't a vampire he was…

"Demon scum," Kennedy said towards the retreating Cathera demons, "Maybe we finally kicked their asses."

She was bleeding too, her blood smelled just like when he tasted it.

"No, I'd bet a quid their funding just stopped coming in. They're mercenaries," Spike said with a sure sneer.

He was right. This was another army hired to attack them because Cathera demons didn't fight unless they were paid, and then they didn't care who got in their way. Everyone knew they had been hired by The Rhoshobi Demon Clan, or part of them, because of the prophecy that believed Faith and Spike would end the world, or their world, or something.

"I hate when funding gets pulled from programs so suddenly. I could have used them for more of a body count of demon scum," Connor said.

He saw Angel smile at him with pride, and felt himself smile back. Connor wasn't having a bad time with Angel being here.

"Mercenaries are always easy to kill," Angel said, "not to mention fun."

Connor smiled when his father added the last part. He wasn't criticizing that this was too easy, even though this fighting was the easy part. It was the aftermath that was hard. The girls always bled and their blood, and their ability to heal, was so different from his father's or Spike's, or his own. Still all the people here were his blood, his family, no matter what. That couldn't be changed even if Connor had wanted it to be, and he mostly didn't.

"When you have to pay for it there's never any passion, always a quick pull out. It's a good lesson to learn," Spike said as he cleaned his sword as he stood with his back a half-inch from Faith's front.

Spike always put himself so close to her; he had to smell that she was bleeding, but if he did no one would no it affected him.

"Speak for yourself. That's one lesson I never had to learn," Connor quipped.

He had wanted to make Faith laugh, but she was looking at Kennedy, who really was bleeding from her arm so that you could see. Faiths eyes darted back and fourth on it like she did when she was thinking hard.

"Right, well it's a lesson your dear ol' dad should learn," Spike said and quickly glanced back at Faith before he set his eyes on Connor.

Connor could feel Angel stiffen.

"Please. I learned that lesson before you were born," but he had a good come-back when Faith didn't come to his defense.

"Someone always pays," Faith said quietly, "and it's rarely the one who doesn't want to pull out. Just life on The Hellmouth I re-opened as usual."

"You didn't re-open it. The formerly all-powerful evil Oz, Crowley did," Spike said, "and that's over now. He's gone."

Connor really could do with out that warlock ever being mentioned again. He had felt how evil that warlock's power had been and he felt the fear of the warlock when that power wasn't enough to get inside of Connor. Connor didn't know he could feel evil, that he could feel someone else's power and that it could be afraid of him. That is he didn't know he could feel it after Jasmine. But Spike was right; the warlock was gone.

"You're right, I just wish I coulda done you one better," Faith agreed with Spike, "But I don't regret trusting that bastard for a second. It saved your life."

"I know you don't, and you couldn't do me better if you tried," Spike smiled and Connor wished he could be so happy about black magic in his life.

"You're prob'ly right, but I can always try, but right now we have to hold the line. Or you soldiers do. Why don't you three make sure that hired army is out of our shit? Kennedy and I have to do some healing."

"But I--"Kennedy began until Faith turned to her and glared then she stopped beginning her sentence.

"Go," Spike turned to Faith and brushed the hair out of her face, "And I'll be right behind you."

The girls got into the battle van (as Faith and now everyone called it) and drove off. It wasn't like her to leave suddenly, unless she was worried about someone else being hurt, like Kennedy.

"We still have to figure out what this means," Angel said, "I doubt The Rhoshobis have given up. I'm sure they still want Faith dead, and this prophecy could still have something to do with Connor."

"Man, if you're going to be so obsessed you should at least have your facts straight," Connor grumbled in frustration as he waved his sword, "It isn't all The Rhoshobis that want to kill Faith; it's a sect of them. It has nothing to do with me. The demon who wants to kill me was just dating one is all."

"We have to be sure about this, Connor. This isn't something we can guess about," Angel said.

"Guess about?" Connor sighed in amused frustration as he thought he smelt fear on Angel, which he was sure Spike would help him make fun of.

They should really be getting on with the searching for the retreating mercenary army though.

"This isn't guessing," Connor said as he scoured the trees with his eyes for demons, "This is hardcore research. This is the truth that I-- Dawn and I found--after pouring over all the actual books that had no on-line access. Just stop worrying about me, alright. We're here to help Faith by fighting and killing because that's what we're good at…and research. There are three sects of Rhoshobi demons and the truth is--"

Connor heard a yell and realized one of those meaty looking Cathera demons had snuck up behind him and Angel had ripped its head off, which really wasn't the best way to kill it, as Connor had told him. It made their insides liquefy and explode, and Angel had made this one do it all over Connor's back.

"The truth is you're still just a kid and you don't know anything about the truth. You think it's bad the books didn't have a web page. There are inter-dimensional books even my company can't find on the subject, " Angel said as he pulled Connor back so the rest remains of the former demon, including its sword and amour wouldn't fall on Connor as it fell with no body there to support it,

"A man that waits so long to become something as evil and powerful as Alistair Crowley wouldn't see something in you and in this prophecy if--"

"I know way more about the truth than you right now," Connor found himself shoving his father up against a tree.

"But, you never cared about the truth, did you? You just care about what you want to believe. None of the sects ever mentioned me. You know what that crazy fucking rapist warlock saw in me, dad? You hired Cyvus Vail to create my memories with black fucking magi--"

"I did not hire him, and watch your mouth. I made a deal with Wolfram and Hart to give you the life you wanted. If I knew they were going to get a demon like Cyvus Vail involved I would have--"

"They are Wolfram and Hart! What did you think they were going to do? Hire pixies and fairies to sprinkle magical happy 'Peter Pan' dust on me so I'd just forget everything and go to Never Never land and live happily ever after?"

"No," Angel said, "I really thought it was more like something out of 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.'"

Connor wanted to be really pissed, but he found he couldn't be. Maybe it was because when Angel got around Faith and Spike he just looked smaller or maybe it was because Connor could smell there were new demons to kill or maybe it was because Kennedy's blood smell was gone and he felt calmer. Or it might be that Angel left himself so open for an insult that Connor couldn't even think of one, but he knew who would.

"Where'd Spike go?" Connor asked his dad when there was a second of silence.

"Who cares?" Angel grumbled, "I'm talking to you."

"Fine, you really want to talk?" Connor said and didn't believe what he was going to confess, but it seemed like Angel was the one to tell for some reason about how he smelled the girls' blood, about how he wanted to fight more, about what he was or might be…

What was the worst he could do? Freak out because Connor was becoming him. It would be better than anyone else freaking out or being upset, like Faith.

"I want you to listen to me," Angel said.

"Fine, but you listen first," Connor said. It was a trick he learned from Faith in how to talk to his dad.

"You're all freaked out someone is after me," he told Angel, "You never stopped to think about--

"Um, hate to interrupt, but some help would be nice," Spike said.

Connor looked up over the grassy hill in front of him and saw Spike shackled up and the shackles were being held by a really big Cathera demon with another army of Cathera demons behind him.

"Oh!" Angel said. "What is this now? Don't tell me you idiots think you'll still get paid if you just run off with some secondary fighter."

"Secondary fighter," Spike spat, "This prophecy is clearly about me and Faith, and you just can't accept that, can you?"

"I was trying a little something called faking them out, Spike," Angel said, "God, how did you live one year without outside help?"

"Yeah, 'cause when your around everyone's survival rate skyrockets," Spike said.

"Divinity want smaller vampire. No want Wolfram and Hart vampire," the Cathera demon said, "Go now with son and you both live in peace. That deal."

"I wish that were true," Angel said, "But, if we let you take him his girlfriend will kill us."

Connor could tell he was getting ready to move in on them.

"See, they don't want me, Angel," Connor said as he ran toward the army of demons.

"Well, The Divinity doesn't want you," Angel said as he tore one of the demons in half.

"Who's The Divinity again?" Angel asked as Connor stabbed through a few of them.

"Again," Connor said, "They're the one's that just want Spike…alive apparently."

"So, they don't want Faith?" Angel asked.

"No, those are The Determinates and they have backed off since she doesn't have that Shadow-demon-thing in her anymore. The Divinity think she's apart of the prophecy, but they don't want to hurt her," Connor said, "They don't believe in intervening directly in the prophecy or any fate directly but--"

A Cathera knocked Connor over and Angel kicked it off.

"Well, if they don't think they can intervene directly why are they capturing Spike?" he asked.

"It's religion, dad," Connor said, "When does it make sense?"

"God, old man, keep up," Spike shouted as he kicked the demons that were trying to drag him off.

"Well, I'm not the one that got captured," Angel said as he ripped Spike free from one of the shackles before a small but fast Cathera attacked him.

"That's because no one wants you," Spike said as he ripped off the other shackle himself.

"You're girlfriend does," Angel said with a smile.

"Dad!" Connor rolled his eyes. He was totally setting Spike off. He remembered how he used to think of Angel--a demon in control even if he was a hypocrite. Not that Connor minded this immature idiot side.

Of course, Spike vamped out. He got so pissed he killed the remaining demons in a fury. Then, Connor's dad turned and winked at him like he had planned that. Well, that wasn't bad, if he had. Spike strangled the last demon with one of the shackles and the demon's head popped off and the body exploded in puss on Angel.

"You did that on purpose," Angel said definitely looking like he hadn't planned that part.

"Faith doesn't need you! She may've given up her physical strength for me, but she's stronger and better at sharing power than you'll ever be, Mr. Leader of Evil Incorporated. She's the real leader," Spike said.

"I'm a good leader," Angel said as Spike ran up to him with his fist back, "and if you hit me after I saved you I'm telling Faith."

"Useless corporate prat," Spike grumbled and put his fist down.

"You're so down on me going to Wolfram and Hart, but you sure don't mind driving the cars I give you or using the weapons, which if you handled better on your own, could have saved you."

"If you weren't here to distract me an' Connor with your whining about how you thought becoming an evil CEO was going to work out like a Jim Carey movie we'd have killed them all and been home by now. And by the way, next time watch the movie all the way through before you plan your son's mind-fuck. It went all wrong in the end that was the bloody point, genius!"

"You--"Angel began and Connor saw he was going to hit Spike.

Connor grabbed his dad's arm and held it back from hitting the other vampire.

"He has a point," he said with a laugh, "But, I wouldn't say it went all wrong in the end. People got their memories back and that was what was right. Jim Carey got a chance with Kate Winslet again who was really hot. It just didn't go as planned."

"That's my point," Angel said, "Things don't go as planned. You never know if these demons are going to decide that you are part of this prophecy or that they aren't working with Sajahn again. What did he say when he kidnapped you?"

Connor and Spike both groaned.

"I wish Faith never told you about that," Connor said.

"I don't know why she tells him anything," Spike said, "You deal with him. I've had it. I have a Slayer waiting for me."

"Yeah, well," Angel called after him, "I have a ware-wolf waiting for me."

"I think," he said quietly.

"Well, you're not going to get any fur flying if you don't see her," Connor said, "Look, if you're so convinced you have to be here to baby-sit me from getting sucked into another evil prophecy you can fly her out in the corporate--"

"I don't want to baby-sit you," Angel snapped and then said quietly, "I want to stop it because I couldn't before and I should have seen you grow up and I should have made sure you grew up good. I can never say Wolfram and Hart was a bad decision because it at least gave you what I didn't--a real family."

"And I wouldn't be here without them or you, or Faith, or Spike, who wouldn't be here without you," Connor said.

"Can we just leave Spike out of it, please," Angel said, "I'd do anything for you and Faith, but the last thing I need is to constantly think about a hormone adrenaline crazed vampire with a Slayer fetish. Did you want to tell me something?"

"No," Connor said.

"I thought you--"Angel began and startled when the cell phone beeped

"What's the update?" Faith's husky voice asked out of the cell speaker.

Her voice was thick from waking up or wanting to fall asleep. Connor hoped Spike would get her to rest, or Angel could if Faith wouldn't listen to Spike.

"Angel? You there?"

"Can you take it?" Angel asked handing him the phone, "I can't deal with this thing."

"I'll work it, but you know she'll want to talk to you too," Connor said.

He wanted to tell Angel that this family was real too, but sometimes Connor felt like he wasn't, but he had to take Faith's call for Angel. He knew he wanted to.

"You have to die," Faith said feeling like she was thick, dense with power that made her a tower of strength only she didn't have to be rooted. She could move however she wanted.

The Hellmouth billowed behind her. She knew that it was her dumb move that reopened it. She remembered all her dumb moves, but she didn't care about any of them. In fact, she wore them proudly along with the smart moves as she stood tall and advanced toward the other majestic being of power--a five-foot-nothing blonde chick with an adorably pointed face of course.

"I'll never die for you! Never! You're an evil disgusting thing! You're anarchy and I'm order," B had that look where she was trying to kill you will all the outrage in her round blue-green eyes.

"You could be right about all that, B," Faith said, "But, this time it isn't about that. This time it's my turn and I get to live. I have to; it's just the way it goes. I don't make the rules."

"But you break them!" B insisted

And Faith had something she never had, freeness and a purpose at the same time, as she ripped a stone out of her own chest with zero pain.

"But, as much as you fix shit, you were The One that broke things no one could fix. You can't break my heart anymore; now it breaks you!"

Faith pushed the stone into Buffy's chest and she lay lifeless under Faith, her blood poured out with a glow.

"Her heart's stopped," she heard a girl's voice say and before she could turn calmly to see who it was Faith woke-up.

She jumped and shuddered and knocked over a coffee mug. She laid her face against the forest green painted wall of her own actual bedroom. But, she did not scream. She would not scream. She lived with a vampire and the son of a vampire and a Potential who had been a Slayer in The Final Battle that had pretty good hearing even though she liked going to skate punk concerts. She did not want to scare them. Then she remembered they weren't there. So, she punched the wall and she did scream. It was an angry scream, not a scared one. Okay, now that was over. No one knew. She didn't break the wall. She was glad she couldn't anymore. The damage was contained.

So, Faith got up. She looked at herself in the Ikea full length mirror that hung on the back of the bedroom door and it all could be better. Ikea was a few steps up from white trash, but Faith wasn't. She always looked like dark Irish white trash when she was tired. Well, there wasn't shit she could do about that now. There were way more important things to worry about. And it wasn't that Faith told Kennedy to stay at B's old house to make sure all was okay with the magic supply over there, but she knew it was really giving Kennedy permission to screw Willow. After they said they wanted to take it slow or some bullshit. Women-- almost as difficult as trying to get dudes to get along.

Faith took out her cell from her jean pocket. She always stuffed it into the little pocket so tight so demons would need to be really up on it to get it from her.

"What's the update?" she said into it knowing a voice would come back, "Angel? Are you okay?"

She knew Angel hated cell phones. Faith knew that was why Spike was always giving it to him to hold. Faith allowed Spike to do small things to annoy Angel; it helped make him behave.

"Five by five, Faith," it was Connor who answered because Angel usually ended up giving anything techie to him, "There was just a little upset."

"Don't tell me," Faith said back, "Something snuck up on you because you were all bickering like a' bunch of women?"

"You could say that."

"It's like working the mission with the three stooges with fangs. What happened?"

"It was nothing. Just an ambush after they pretended to retreat. They tried to take Spike alive again. He's the one they want. Not me. I keep telling Angel I've out lived my prophecy. I'm old, useless to depraved evil dogmas now."

"I think I know what you mean but you have no right to complain about the old thing," Faith smiled as she looked into the mirror again, "And I want you. Hell, I need you. Spike can take a bullet, but you made wooden bullets so I can kill those little things called vampires that I have to worry about between these prophecy battles. I think there's some expression in here about teaching a girl to fish."

"I didn't teach you anything--you're the sharp shooter."

"Yeah, well you gave me the little hooks that get the piranha. Let me talk to the dude who gives me the pole every night before he gets all huffy."

"Spike's not here. Don't worry. He just left. He's on his way to you."

Damn bastard. Couldn't he just stay put when they were after him? No.

"Who's worried?" Faith said, "Let me talk to the vampire with all the corporate pull."

She ran her finger over the snap-shot of the corner in the mirror of Spike and Connor where the flash went off too bright and they looked white-washed. Faith decided she'd tell Spike to grow his hair out from the long-ish crew-cut and she'd bleach it for him. He said he liked the way it felt when she rubbed his head, but she thought about how these demons seemed to want his ass alive and she didn't want him looking like some sorry hair-growing soldier they could just drag away. Faith wanted him to look how he had when he was evil and then good; it could give him a better chance if he ever did get taken from her again. Wow, she could really be one of those chicks that had pictures of her roommates and boyfriend that she practically saw every second anyway. Thank god for the murderous dreams where she was an icy bitch or she wouldn't be able to recognize herself.

"Everything's fine, Faith," Angel said dryly as he did more after a night of arguing with Connor and/or Spike than he did when he had to fight demon bounty hunters. "I'm doing a perimeter sweep now."

"No it's not," Faith stated.

"Faith, I know this is your town now, since Buffy-- But, I've been doing this a lot longer than you. And you don't have to worry about Spike. They didn't get him and they won't."

"Who's talking about Spike or the town? I'm talking about you. You keep nagging your kid that he's a part of some evil prophecy, telling him that's why you're here. Because all Hell knows you wouldn't be here to just spend time with him because that would be wrong with all the world-saving you could be doing with the evil corporation you're supposed to be flipping to good. Accept it's not wrong. Let Wes take care of Wolfram and Hart with the rest of your friends for a while, and have a drink with your kid, for Christ sake."

"As long as he's in this life people will want to hurt him, and he can't drink yet."

"No kidding. As long as he's alive people can hurt him? I think that's called being alive. You remember that, right? And don't be a tight ass. He'll be legal in a few weeks."

"You're right," Angel said, "Maybe you are getting better than me at--

Faith pushed the walkie-talkie button to talk over him. She realized why Spike didn't like talking to her like this.

"Stop that sentence right there," she said, "I'm just getting old, but I'll never catch up to you I'll just start to look worse."

She felt her cheeks hurt as her smile shrunk down. Who was she to be giving him advice? If he knew what she had been doing in her sleep; how she wanted B to die; he'd never want to trust her again. But, really, he was the only one who knew what that was like. Angel had to fight off fucking Angelus; Spike never had to fight himself. When Spike wanted to start loving and stop killing someone he just did. Bastard.

"Angel," Faith said closing her eyes thanking God, or whoever, he was there.

"There are things about redemption I'll never get," she said, "like how do I pay for things that I know are still inside me when I'm--when I'm happy like this? I get that maybe I shouldn't be happy--not ever-- because of all the shit I did, and I could live with that if--

"If you're being happy didn't depend on other people being happy, people that deserved it."

His mad skillz of spot-on-ness made her breathe a little easier, or worse, she just knew she was breathing more.

"Nah, what do you all need me for? I should just take off." she saw her bullshit smile in the mirror and realized he wasn't there to see it.

She had thought if it-- taking off. She'd have to tell Spike she was killing B in her sleep otherwise he'd never let her go.

"Trust me when I say that's not the answer. Look how far back it set me and Connor. Maybe leaving Buffy was the right thing to do but maybe--"

"B," Faith said, "even now I don't know how to do right by her. Angel, there are things that I see myself doing at night that--I need to talk to you."

"What?" he said, "You're bighting her? You're breaking up. How many years has it been and they still haven't perfected these things? Bored Warlock invented these--I'm telling you."

"Just finish with your sweep," Faith sighed but had to smile, "and find their lair, pick up any clues and rough up any demons you think will be willing to talk."

Here she was ordering Angel around again. Why couldn't she just come out and say the truth? It wasn't like Faith didn't deserve whatever she got from him. Well, it wasn't like she could just come out and tell him: I have dreams where I demand B dies for me and I'm all righteous while I do it. I want her dead. Faith knew Angel liked it when you led up to stuff like this with more words. He liked it when you said you were sorry. Shit like that made a difference to him; and Faith was sorry. She at least owed him a soft landing.

"Right," Angel said.

It wasn't like she wasn't used to disappointing people, but there was a small problem with disappointing them now. Angel had trusted Faith with his son, and then there was the fact that Faith somehow got Kennedy to agree to let not only Connor live with them, but also a really mouthy vampire that Faith was screwing that was on The-Crazy-Demon-Cult-Most-Wanted-List in their house too. B's friends and Dawn even had her back. Faith heard Spike knocking around the house, which meant he wanted her to hear him and he had been there for five minutes already. Fuck.

"And tell Connor we need more toilet paper before you go off to your own lair, vamp-that's-too-good-to-live-with-us," Faith said to Angel.

"Uh, Right."

Faith brushed back her hair in the mirror and decided she'd finally get rid of her highlights and go back to dark. Who was she kidding? She was thinking about how she was going to stay up all night to avoid her dreams and how she was going to get Spike to believe she was sleeping when she felt his coolness circle around her.

"Look at you," he whispered in her ear, "The weary leader."

"Yeah, look at me, but where are you?" she said as she looked into the mirror and saw only where his arms were pushing in on her, "Not where I told you to be."

"But, right were you want me to be, ma'am," he said in all his Brit glory, like he knew how sexy it was when he called her "ma'am."

She sighed and leaned into him. It wasn't that Faith didn't love this new game-- the mirror game, or the Faith-is-a-leader game. It just wasn't safe to have him so close now, just like it wasn't safe to have him so far. Those demon fucks tried to capture him again.

"It's time to change your hair back to punk," Faith said reaching up and caressing the long bristles of his head. She could feel them all bow under her sweeping hand only to spring up again even though she only saw herself in the mirror. Her own eyes were like an angry deer staring back at her too smart to get caught in the headlights, but they might just stay anyway.

"I want all those assholes to remember the bastard vamp they're dealing with if they try to take you."

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am," he said dripping with all that Sid Vicious sarcasm and hormone breath.

He would do it though. Spike would listen to her orders, like Sid did with Nancy and hey, that all worked out okay, right? How long could she keep doing this anyway? Living with a guy? Was she having some new kind of mental disorder in her old age? She had kept it going with Robin for over a year, worked and worked at it like she did her redemption, but Spike was too dangerous. He wouldn't just be a job, or a friend, or a boyfriend, or a leader or a follower. He never liked labels, and Faith had to get her label-maker out here, or she'd slip from right to wrong.

"You think this does it for me?" Faith said, "You bullshitting me that I'm a leader? I remember a time when you weren't so happy and hard for it, back when your old girlfriend I tried to kill was around. Remember how you sucker punched me and told me being a leader was what I always wanted. Well, you were wrong."

Luckily, Faith knew how to push Spike's buttons. She thought that comment would piss him off, or at least get him to stop sliding all over her like hot glue. Instead she got the breathy laugh. She could feel his chest and his abs shake against her as she saw a smallish woman in the mirror with biggish tits over-flowing out of her black hoodie because an invisible strong grip was pressing underneath her. Okay, so Faith knew how to push Spike's buttons, but it was just a little harder to find Spike's "away" button. She'd have to try harder. Or not.

"Bitch," Spike's voice said to her like it was the best word in the world, "No, I didn't know what you wanted when I knew you for 6 days. Imagine that. But, I know what you want now, don't I?"

She felt his teeth nipping up her neck and it shot through her like a ricocheting bullet. Faith shut her eyes to the reflection as she saw the woman's lips part and her big heavy lidded eyes shut. Bliss--Faith wasn't used to seeing that in the mirror. She looked like one half of a cover of a romance novel if it was casual Friday. She grunted is his grip and turned to him grabbed at his face with the lusty blue eyes and sharp cheekbones and grabbed at the cocky mouth with her own and the mouth match hers in grip and openness.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," he said between kissing, "As subtle as you are as a boot to the head, you aren't exactly forward about things. But, I know what you want. I even know what you're hiding and it's time to confess it to everyone."

"You--you know. How? I talk in my sleep? It's that I talk in my sleep. People told me I do that," she unwrapped all four of her limbs from him as they withered away in shock.

She wished she would stop talking. When she pushed him away it was like tearing off skin. She backed away towards the door.

"Can we talk about that later," he said, "I knew you were going to be this way about it, like it's some bloody tragedy, but I couldn't let it pass, ignore it. You need to get what you deserve."

"I get that," Faith said, "So, I'll tell them and they'll see who I really am and they'll kick me out. I can't help it, you know? I'm not like you. It's just who I am. I guess I still have my uses though. You still seem to want to fuck me."

"Bloody Hell, Faith! No one's kicking you--well, I might want to kick you straight in the ass if you don't--"

Spike stammered too pissed to talk. Faith tried to get ready for whatever was coming.

"Of course it's part of who you are, it's part of being alive. You think I want you dead like me? In fact, I've never wanted you more. It's just another way there's never been a Slayer like you."

"That's sick! You like that I'm a murderer? That deep down I still want B--"

"This has sod off to do with Buffy," Spike said like he was waiting for it, "Even if she weren't in another dimension, even if she was right here, which is something we have to talk about, you would still be older than Buffy. I know you are a few weeks older than her, and you are the only one that cares about your past. You are about to be the oldest Slayer that's ever lived and you should be bloody proud, goddamn it!"

"Don't tell me what--Wait. I'm about to be the oldest Slayer that's ever lived? No--I--no. It can't count because I gave up my powers," Faith said.

"We've been over this," he said, "It's in your blood. You glow with it. "

"Glowing blood," Faith swallowed thinking of B lifeless, "So, none of The Slayers ever lived to be 26. It's a gangsta life?"

"You didn't know that," Spike said, "But why were you hiding your birthday?"

"I wasn't hiding it; I forgot about it. I was hiding the fact that I keep having these dreams that I kill B every night. She fights so hard for her life, and I see her just like she was standing right in front of me. That tiny cute little nugget of blonde packed with power and filled with more good than I ever could be no matter how long I lived. You could just fall in love with that pixie face knowing she's really a goddess. But, I don't. I'm like her own messenger-of-death-slut-from-Hell. I kill her," Faith took a shaky breath as she looked at Spike's eyes that went wide.

"I need to kill her so I can live," she told him, "and I never feel bad about it as long as I 'm asleep. So, that's the real me, the person you've been fucking and looking at with those horny puppy eyes of yours thinking I'm this wicked awesome den mother or something. Turns out no matter how hard I try I'm just wicked. You should have beat the shit out of me the first time I tried to be a leader, it would have been the right thing to do."

She felt Spike reach for her and her body flinched. Damn it! If he was going to hit her she should take what she deserved. Instead she felt his cool hand on her face. She shut her eyes tight. No! She couldn't have him be nice about this.

"How could you forget your birthday was coming?" he asked and when she opened her eyes she saw he looked all sad--over her stupid birthday.

"Well, it's like a tradition, to forget it every other year," she laughed casually, "My mom started it with her drinking, and then she was in the hospital and died like three days after my 12th one, and then the foster homes weren't so keen on asking and I wasn't so keen on telling, until I got to the one with the dude you killed for screwing with me. You can guess how those b-day celebrations ended with him. So, when everyone assumed B was older than me because she got called first I was too busy off binge drinking and getting into a one-night stand threesome that went bad to correct them…Oh, and a few weeks later I turned evil."

"Faith, that's awful," he said all sacked-jawed as he held her face and she knew he wasn't talking about her being evil; he was talking about the other stuff.

"I know you were strong enough for it," he said, "But, to be so alone. It's awful."

She had to smile. Spike never felt sorry for her; he never acted like she was something that had to be fixed, even if she was.

"Um, yeah," she said, "My bad birthdays are almost as bad as me being a messenger-of-death-slut-from-Hell deep down in my soul who kills saintly women in her dreams. Didn't you hear what I said? I'm repeatedly murdering your ex-girlfriend who you suffered a soul for in my sleep, and not feeling anything like guilt about it. So, B and I didn't get along too well, even when we were on the same side, but I'm not too slow to know she gave me everything that I love before she went off to that other dimension in her usual big heroic way. I mean, what kind of person wants her dead knowing that?"

"One with a guilty subconscious," Spike said, "One who thinks that if they have any shred of happiness outside of that person's shadow that they've wronged, they feel like they are letting go of that guilt, which in turn feels to them is as wrong as killing that person. So, they might have a few dreams about it. They might even be the kind of person who feels too guilty to enjoy her birthday with people who love her."

"Hey, decent answer. That works," was the only come-back Faith had for that, "Why didn't I tell you this before?"

She could feel herself smiling at him like it was nothing as she could also feel that his words left her breathless.

"Because I'm not Angel, and you don't want me for things like this," he sneered.

Wow! He could have held it over her that he had her all figured out, but he was going into a sulk. Man, he was an idiot, in an awesome Champ perfect boyfriend way. She should tell him, telling him things worked out it seemed.

"You're a fucking idiot," she told him, "I always want you. I never don't want you. It's just you can be a top speed idiot, and I'm a little slow, so sometimes I need to take my shit somewhere else. But, I'll always bring all the good stuff back to you."

She pushed him onto the unmade bed they shared with the black and white silky comforter he brought to it. Vampires had good taste. He was the one that painted the walls forest green too.

"Decent answer, that more than works," he answered as he let her get on top of him and undo his pants, "I don't care how slow you are. If it takes the rest of your natural life for me to prove to you how amazing and good you are I'll be here to do it and there'll be lots of parties and birthday spankings while I'm doing it."

"We could even have some threesomes gone bad if you get bored over the years," she said as she straddled him like the biker he was, along with a million other things.

"Oh, be careful, Slayer. You're close to admitting that you believe me," he said

"I always believe you," she told him, "accept when you're full of shit."

And dove in to kiss him.

"Eow," he said rising as he sat up slowly on the bed, reminding her of a slowly rising Dracula in a cheesy movie.

Only he had a shit-eating grin on his face as he sat up so she straddled his lap.

"You need birthday spankings," he said as he moved her to get her pants all the way off, "bare-assed birthday spankings for being such a bad girl. I don't care how old you get, Slayer, you will never be too old for me to take you over my knee."

"One," he said slapping her ass that he now had across his lap.

She could feel that. He wasn't holding back too much. She could feel how much he wanted her ass.

"You Brits and the spankings," she panted.

"They lead to a lot of waterworks and I don't mean tears," he said.

Okay, so she liked them too. His fingers slid into her and she could hear them swoosh. Her whole body jerked and tingled from deep inside out. Still she wanted it deeper.

"Spike," she said and it came out like a wine as she wiggled and got off of his lap just to get on it again, and get him in as she faced him.

"Spike," she said again and she felt her whole body jerk around him inside her.

Well, this was a big deal. Faith never had been so close to a guy--literally and looked him in the face and said his name not like this--never like this.

"Oh, God, Faith," Spike shook and panted.

Shit! He knew what a big deal this was for her, for him too it seemed. She had totally opened herself to him by saying his name like that and he knew it. Fuck! If he said anything about it she was going to lose it and fuck everything up--pull away or lash out like the little bitch she was.

"Bad, Bad girl making me lose count of the spankings," he said with a grin even though his voice was shaky "I'll just have to do more."

He smacked her ass as she rocked back and forth on him deep inside of her, his face showing her everything she ever wanted to see. Everything she ever wanted to feel so close and so fucking good and stinging. Pleasure, ecstasy, smack, sting. Pleasure, ecstasy, smack, sting. This was an insanity she could repeat and die happy.

"You believe I love you, don't you? You know I'm the happiest I've been in all my lives with you?"

Pleasure, ecstasy, smack, sting. Push it to the limit

"Spike!"

"I'll take that as a yes. You believe I love you more than I ever loved anyone?"

Moan. Pleasure, ecstasy, smack, sting. Be a bitch.

"Harder!"

"Bad girl. I asked you a question."

Pleasure, ecstasy; harder riding; Bed busting; harder smack, sting that would last. Rock em' Sock em' ecstasy. Long silent wail. Heels and fingernails digging in.

"Dirty little cheater. You think I'll buckle? You think--you think--"his grunting fill her more, stretches her out--"I want an answer. You--believe--know--love you, Slayer--the best. Powerful lil' cunny-- bloody beautiful woman, bad, bad little girl. You answer me!"

"Spike! Spike!"

Fucking rapture! Waves breaking over and over again. Pleasure keeps going. Doesn't stop. Screaming, the good kind, the all good kind, the best kind. Harder! Hit me harder! Ride me harder! Answer me harder! Love you harder! Hold me harder! Bad girl harder! Vamp out harder! Good girl harder! He keeps going after he breaks the wall--hers and his. Goes until he knows she'll make him stop because the troops, her friends, have come home. And they will want her and him too. They will want them to say the right and wrong things, to argue and agree, to stand their ground and give in, to build up and insult, to say the things that no one else can say and do the things no one else can do. Because that's what they do and it's all good.

TBC… (Buffy comes back next, only someone has to go get her first.)