A/N This story was inspired by this song by Paloma Faith...
(This is the version I see Bella singing on the stage, but I imagine her voice to be much softer than Paloma's www . youtube watch?v = sfBPhuMmS1w )
Despite TwiLighT7242 being a word genius, I got a bit tweaky, therefore all mistakes are mine...
*I needed a tissues when writing this chapter...so TISSUE WARNING just in case your a sap like me*
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CHAPTER 38 EPOV
I can't take my eyes off of my wife sitting on that stage even though she has looked away from me to the piano. She is so beautiful sitting there in her element, surrounded by her music, playing her creations.
There's something about this song. She's been working on it a lot lately, perfecting it.
Was this why? Was she perfecting it for me?
My heart aches as she turns to look at me again, words pouring from her mouth.
"Do you think of her,
When you're with me?
Repeat the memories you made together
Whose face do you see?
Do you wish I was a bit more like her?
Am I too loud? I pay the clown to cover up
All these doubts ..."
Oh, God.
My heart is palpitating. She can't think that I want to be with her! I want to go back to how we were. I want our happy married life back. I don't want her!
Bella continues.
"Perfect Heart, she's flawless
She's the other woman
Shining in her splendor
You were lost ..."
"Oh Bella," my mind shouts. "She was nothing compared to you. You're the perfect one with your kind heart and soul. She is pretty, yes, but you're the flawless one."
Bella's beautiful voice goes on.
"Now she's gone
and I'm picking up the pieces
I watch you cry
But you don't see that I'm the one by your side
Cause she's gone
In her shadow, is it me that you see?
Cause all that's left is you and I
And I'm picking up the pieces
She left behind ..."
Is this how my baby feels? I had no idea.
Doesn't she see I'm here with her because I want to be? There was never any choice. Bella will always win. She's not a shadow; she's the sun. I should never have strayed. I'm the weak one, relying on Bella to be strong and get us through. I should have been the one making the extra effort, showing Bella that I am worthy of her.
I'm sobbing now while while listening to her singing on;
"I found her photograph
Behind the TV
You looked so happy, are you missing the way it used to be?
now I have changed this room around more often lately
It's clear that me and these four walls
Still know it's hers and yours
Perfect heart, she's flawless
The other woman
Shining in her splendor
You were lost ..."
The pain in Bella's voice is evident. I can feel the hurt crushing her. Us. I should have spoken up sooner, cleared up all the confusion. I thought I was doing the right thing not talking, saving her the pain of a fight. Instead, she just saved the pain up, and blamed herself, not me.
My body begins to slump in devastation, and I feel Alice's small arms wrap around me, urging me on. "Listen to her, E. Listen to what she's trying to tell you."
So I do.
"Are we liars?
In denial
Are we smoke without fire?
Tell me please
Is it worth it?
I deserve it ..."
"No, baby, no!" I cry out.
I need to go to her.
I need to tell her were worth fighting for.
We can get it back, I know we can.
We will be consumed by love, fire, and passion again. I know we will.
Rising from my seat, I listen as Bella concludes the song.
"Cause she's gone
And I'm picking up the pieces
I watch you cry
But don't you see, I'm the one by your side
Cause she's gone,
In her shadow, is it me you see?
Cause all that's left is you and I
And I'm picking up the pieces
She left behind ..."
I am so proud of my girl. She was always too scared to go on the stage, always doubting her talent, wanting to stay in the background with her writing. I'm sad that my actions are the ones that pushed her there, but nevertheless, she did it.
She sat behind that piano, pouring her feelings out to me, telling me about all the hurt I made her feel, and telling me that she is here and that I am pushing her into the background, isolating her.
Well, not any-fucking-more.
The audience goes crazy for my girl, standing, banging and screaming for more.
"Go to her Edward," Alice shouts over the crowd. "Show her how you feel, this is your chance. Fucking GO!"
No need to tell me twice.
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