CHAPTER 38 – Forgiveness and Joy
"Well?" Sully asked from his seat at the kitchen table as his wife put the cordless phone back onto its base on the wall.
"Nine o'clock tomorrow morning," she answered, informing her husband of the time of her doctor's appointment.
"Good. I'm glad they ain't makin' ya wait a long time," he nodded, relieved.
"They're working me in," she explained with a tired smile, unconsciously placing her hand low on her abdomen as she felt a slight spasm.
"How ya feel this morning?" Sully asked caringly, stepping to her and laying his hand over hers.
"The same...maybe a tiny bit better – perhaps the herbs helped," she added, trying to be optimistic.
Sully nodded in satisfaction and drew her into his arms. "I'll be glad when you get this cleared up...get back to normal. I hate when you're not feelin' good...it hurts me," he added softly, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as one hand smoothed her hair back.
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she began, "I don't mean to be cranky, or…" before he cut her off reassuringly.
"No, you're not cranky. It's just you're not...I don't know...energetic like usual. I guess I'm not used to you bein' sick. You ain't been since last winter when you got that middle ear infection..."
"During which you took such excellent care of me," she murmured contentedly as she snuggled into his neck. "Did I ever thank you for that?" she asked with a smile.
"Yeah, ya did. And I liked takin' care of ya...gave me a chance ta pull your pajama bottoms down and...sneak a peek at what was gonna be mine in a few months," he teased softly.
She chuckled, squeezing him closer. "One track mind," she murmured with a tired grin.
"Guilty as charged," he murmured, grinning against her hair as they swayed together softly.
Striving to stifle a yawn, Michaela shook her head as if to clear it. "Goodness, I just can't shake this tiredness," she murmured, burrowing into Sully's warm body as a chill passed through her.
"Here, c'mon over here and lay down awhile. I've got some chores I need to tend to," he instructed, pulling her along gently behind him. She smiled at him drowsily as he settled her on the couch and lovingly covered her with the courting blanket lying nearby. Leaning down, he pressed a sweet kiss to her lips, then one to the tip of her nose. Crossing to the fireplace, he crouched down and stirred the coals from the night before, quickly laying and lighting a cozy fire.
"There, that oughtta make ya feel bett..." he paused as he turned around, his wife already having dropped off to sleep. Sully smiled affectionately and crossed the room back to her side, leaned down, and softly brushed his lips against her forehead before making his way silently out the door.
OOOOOOOOOOO
"Here, lemme help ya," Matthew offered to Jared as he saw the other boy struggling to balance on his crutches while trying to retrieve something from the bottom of his locker.
"What'dya need?" he asked as he crouched down.
"History and Math," the boy answered, balancing on one foot and holding both crutches with one hand so he could remove his backpack and hand it to the other boy. He stood a trifle uncomfortably as he watched his one time nemesis loading his pack, indicating a few other items he would need until the next chance he had at getting to his locker. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out this Matthew Sully.
"Hey, uh...why you doing this? I mean...talking nice to each other in front of your parents is one thing, but...why you being so nice, huh?" he asked sincerely. When no answer was forthcoming, he continued, "If I was in your place, I'd probably do everything I could to trip you up..."
Matthew stood up as he zipped Jared's backpack shut and met the other boy's eyes. "Well...you ain't me." At his look, Matthew continued, "I just figure there ain't no reason for us to hate each other, is there? Why don't we just...wipe the slate clean and start over? That alright with you?" he added with his customary half grin.
The other boy just shook his head in wonderment, trying to think of a smart comeback. Matthew continued, "Look...we're gonna be seeing a lot of each other for awhile, right? Why don't we...pretend to be friends. It'd make things a whole lot easier, don't you think?"
The other boy looked down at the floor and smiled in spite of himself – unable to refute that Matthew had a point. "Yeah...guess you're right at that...though I hate to admit it," he added with a chuckle. Matthew chuckled with him, stepping to help him put the backpack on just as the first bell rang for homeroom.
"You better get on to homeroom. See you later, Miller."
"Yeah, see ya...Matthew," the other boy responded, the two meeting eyes and exchanging amused grins as they went their separate ways.
After taking a few steps down the hall, Matthew noticed Johnny sidle up beside him.
"Hey man. How goes it?" the boy asked with a grin.
"Alright, how you been?"
"What's goin' on with Miller? You two getting chummy or something?" the other boy teased.
"Aw, he's gotta come over to the ranch and do chores for my parents to pay off what he owes 'em...so..."
"Yeah, I get it...make it look good..." he cracked with a sly grin, slapping Matthew on the back with a chuckle.
"No...that ain't it..." Matthew began, only to be interrupted by another boy as they took their seats in homeroom, the newcomer launching into details of his latest video game purchase.
Matthew figured it was just as well, as he didn't think Johnny would understand his desire to help his father lay to rest a decades long feud. Matter of fact...it's probably better I just don't say anything about it...
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Colleen waited for her sister to exit the bus at their stop, their brothers already having disembarked and headed down the drive. When Hannah exited the bus Colleen fell into step beside her, and they walked along together leisurely, talking idly about a school assignment they had received that morning.
Looking over at her sister after a few minutes, Colleen asked nonchalantly, "So...you over it now?"
Hannah's head snapped to the side as she met Colleen's brown eyes, noting her eyebrows raised in expectation.
"Over what?"
'You know...your uh...your monthly thing...you started having one, didn't you?"
Hannah's mouth dropped open in surprise, and she managed to whisper, "How'd you know?"
"Hannah...duh...I live with you. Besides...I washed the sheets Saturday, remember? I...found the one you stuffed in the bottom of the hamper."
"Oh," Hannah whispered, as she looked away, her face crimson.
"How come you didn't want me to know?" Colleen asked gently, watching her sister squirm under her interrogation.
"I...I didn't know what to say...or what you'd say...I was just so shocked – I thought it wouldn't happen till I was like twelve or something!" Hannah blustered, though grateful not to have to hide her secret from her sister anymore.
Colleen nodded in total understanding.
"But...you know about this stuff?" Hannah asked softly.
"Sure, since I was about eight."
At her blue-eyed sister's raised eyebrows, she continued, "Well, I was in the girl's room at school in Boston and this older girl was in there...dealing with things...and I saw and...that night I went home and asked Mom a bunch of questions, and she told me. It grossed me out big time, but I'm used to the idea now. Just hope it's awhile for me!" she added with a grin.
"Yeah...lucky," Hannah groused with a half grin as Colleen chuckled and nodded.
"Hey...I'm sorry I was grouchy and snapped at ya the other day," Hannah offered softly as her sister put her arm around her. "...And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Forgive me?"
Colleen grinned and stopped walking, drawing her sister into an impromptu hug. "Sure I forgive you. We're sisters, right?"
"Yeah we sure are," Hannah grinned, hugging her sister back, for the first time feeling like she wasn't entirely alone with her new 'womanhood.'
"I hope it happens for you soon," she added, only half teasing.
"Gee thanks!" Colleen laughed and shook her head. "Love you too!" she added, teasingly sarcastic.
At that, the girls dissolved into giggles and continued merrily on down the drive together, arms linked.
OOOOOOOOOO
"Here you are, Mrs. Sully," the nurse at Dr. Bernard's office said as she handed Michaela a gown and a sterile specimen cup. "After leaving the specimen on the pass-through shelf, you may join your husband in exam room two."
"But...I didn't think I would have to disrobe for this..." Michaela began hesitantly.
"Dr. Bernard requested that he be able to examine you, just as a precaution," the nurse explained with a friendly smile, ushering Michaela into the restroom and Sully into room two.
As the nurse shut the door, she stole one more glance at the woman's handsome husband, wearing a gorgeous buckskin jacket, taking a seat on the chair against the wall. Some girls have all the luck, she mused with a silent sigh.
When Michaela joined him, Sully stood quickly and lovingly helped her disrobe and slip into the decidedly unflattering gown, then helped her up onto the end of the examination table, gently rubbing her arms as he stood near her to wait for the doctor.
"Seems like we've done this before," he joked softly, his cheek pressed against hers.
"Yes, it does...and may I say I appreciate your warmth in this chilly office," she returned, wrapping her arms around his back in an effort to soak up some of that warmth.
He chuckled softly. "I bet you're the only woman in the world that looks beautiful in one of these things," he murmured, nuzzling her ear and pressing a kiss to her temple, then smoothing her long hair back to gain access to her graceful neck.
"I bet you say that to all your wives," Michaela joked softly, nuzzling his neck and smiling when she felt him chuckle.
"Nope, you're the only wife I've ever said that to – or intend to ever say that to. And it's true, by the way," he murmured softly, the words interspersed by kisses to her neck and jaw.
"Thank you...but I do think you're a trifle partial," she murmured dreamily, tilting her head back and enjoying his ministrations.
"Nah. Just call 'em like I see 'em," he whispered, pulling back to press his lips softly to hers, each of them sighing in pleasure, until Michaela involuntarily shivered.
"Aw sweetheart," he murmured in concern. "You want my jacket around ya?"
She nodded gratefully. "At least until the doctor comes in," she added as her husband quickly shed the buckskin creation and draped it around her, wrapping her once again in his arms.
"Better?" he whispered.
"Mmm, yes. Thank you," she purred.
They stayed thus for several minutes, enjoying just being together, their recent time apart still fresh in each of their minds.
Finally, Dr. Bernard knocked softly on the door and entered in response to their call as he perused Michaela's chart.
He looked up at the couple and smiled in response to Sully's stance as the doctor took a seat on the rolling stool.
"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Sully, what can I do for you today?" he asked kindly.
Michaela greeted her kind colleague and hesitantly began, "We've decided to begin looking into the options you mentioned before, specifically insemination..."
"Fine, fine. I can recommend several good endocrinologists. How have you been feeling otherwise?" he asked, eyebrows raised in question.
"Fine," Michaela automatically answered.
"Until three days ago," Sully interrupted from his seat against the wall where he had retreated with his jacket when the doctor had entered. "She's not been feeling well all weekend with this infection, Doc. It's made her real tired..."
The doctor nodded as he read the nurse's notations. "Well, I haven't received the lab report yet. What symptoms do you have, and when did they begin?"
"Frequency and pain during urination, mild lower abdominal pain, a dull backache, mild fever, slight chills, and a general fatigue," she related matter-of-factly, one physician to another. "I suppose I began feeling it coming on as much as seven days ago, but I increased my water intake and added cranberry juice, which seemed to make the symptoms ease up...but then they came back with a vengeance several mornings ago..."
"Any nausea or vomiting?"
"No...not really," she added thoughtfully.
Sully glanced at her as he laid his jacket aside. She hadn't shared that symptom with him.
"Not really?" the doctor questioned, glancing up at her over his glasses.
"Well...this morning I felt a little nauseous, but it went away after about ten minutes."
The doctor nodded, making notations in the chart. "When was your last menstrual cycle?" he asked without looking up.
Michaela thought for a moment, "The ninth of September."
"Mmm hmm. And was it normal?"
"Yes..." she began.
"No it wasn't," Sully softly argued, immediately crossing the small space to her side, causing the doctor to glance up in amusement at the newlywed couple.
"Sully," Michaela murmured, a trifle embarrassed that he would argue with her about something like that in front of the doctor.
"Michaela...remember? It only lasted like three days..."
The doctor met Michaela's eyes for confirmation.
"Well, yes, I suppose he's right..." Michaela conceded, both embarrassed and slightly pleased that her husband took such notice of personal details.
"Did you experience any pain that would suggest implantation?" the doctor queried as he flipped through pages of Michaela's medical record.
"Well...possibly...but I dismissed it...as..." she stumbled to a halt, wanting very much to avoid bringing up the subject of her near rape. She glanced into Sully's eyes as he stood near softly caressing her arm, "It probably came right after...something traumatic that had happened...I was perhaps still a little in shock," she finished lamely, hoping the doctor wouldn't press her for details and averting her gaze from her husband's suddenly very concerned expression. She knew his imagination was probably running wild at that moment – and it was. In truth, he was imagining a horrible scenario of what if Allen Clawfoot had succeeded that night...?
"Are you late very often?" the doctor asked nonchalantly, causing Michaela's eyes to open wide in a bit of a shock as she whispered, "No...hardly ever."
Truly, she hadn't been paying attention to the days on the calendar during her trip to Boston and the days since she'd been home, and only that moment realized that she was indeed late. Stunned, she shook her head. Her breath caught in her throat as hope kindled within her chest. She swallowed and once again met Sully's eyes, clearly seeing within them his battle with what she had just revealed and the slow dawning of what the doctor was implying. But they had both been so disappointed and hurt at the first false alarm that each one silently clamped their emotions down and went into neutral mode. Sully reached for one of her hands and brought it up to press against his chest as they both watched the doctor.
Just then a nurse knocked softly on the door and opened it in response to the doctor's call. She handed him a slip of paper with the lab results and he perused it, nodding in satisfaction that his suspicion was correct.
"Lie back on the table for a moment, would you?"
Michaela complied, settling herself on the pillow as the doctor placed her feet in the stirrups. Sully positioned himself at the end of the table at her head, and she gazed up at him with a tiny self-conscious smile as the doctor discretely examined her breasts underneath the open front of the gown. She winced slightly.
Seeing her reaction, the doctor asked casually, "Tender?"
"Yes...but just since this morning," her heart beginning to pound as the physician part of her brain began to catalog her symptoms, and she allowed herself to begin to hope.
The doctor nodded and reached for a pair of latex gloves, then moved to situate himself on the stool to perform the pelvic exam. Sully came to the side of the table and grasped her hand as Michaela winced again and unconsciously squeezed her husband's hand tight at the unwelcome invasion of the doctor's fingers. Hating this type of exam anyway, she felt extra discomfort with the added sensitivity of the urinary infection.
When the doctor finished, he smiled and rolled back, peeling the gloves off and reaching once again for Michaela's chart as he indicated for her to sit up. Sully assisted her, reaching to hold the front of the gown closed to guard her modesty as she moved her legs to the side of the table.
With a grin, the doctor looked from one to the other of two very hopeful pairs of eyes trained upon him.
"Congratulations and well done, you two. You're pregnant."
He smiled again as he watched tears immediately begin to fill both sets of eyes as the information began to sink in. Michaela gasped and Sully let out a delighted chortle, then their eyes met and they simultaneously went into each other's arms.
"And judging from the feel of your uterus, my guess is that you are around seven to eight weeks along. Probably what you thought was a menstrual last time was actually..."
"Decidual bleeding," Michaela interjected as she pulled back from Sully a little, wiping a tear from her cheek. Dr. Bernard nodded with a smile.
"What is that?" Sully asked worriedly, remembering when the doctor had told them about the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy.
"It's menstrual-like bleeding caused by pregnancy hormones. Tiny bits of the lining along the uterine wall detach and pass on out of the body because the lining hasn't had a chance to completely attach to the placenta," the doctor explained, adding in response to Sully's horrified expression, "Although it sounds frightening, it is not generally considered to be a health risk to either the mother or the baby."
"Is that why she's got an infection now?" Sully asked, his arms securely around his wife as he fought off fear of the unknown.
"Not necessarily. Urinary Tract Infections are common in newly pregnant women. It's nothing to worry about, I assure you. She hasn't had the symptoms long, and with a round of antibiotics, it should be cleared up in no time." the kind doctor assured him.
Sully breathed a sigh of relief, but the doctor continued, "You need to be aware, however, that pregnant women are more susceptible to them..."
"What causes them...?" Sully wondered aloud.
"A urinary tract infection can be caused by several things, including not voiding before and after intercourse, and it can happen quite easily if the man's hands or genitals are not clean before you...engage," the doctor explained, causing Michaela to blush at his frankness. She didn't dare look at Sully, but she could feel him nodding in understanding and imagined that he was making a firm mental note to make sure he did nothing to cause a reoccurrence.
Glancing at Michaela, the doctor continued, "I do want to get some blood work on you, though, just to check for any abnormalities." Michaela nodded in understanding.
Sully, however, felt like a fish out of water. "Abnormalities?" he gasped, swallowing.
"Yes, things like anemia, abnormal thyroid, etc.," the doctor explained with a calm smile.
Glancing from the doctor's face to his wife's and not noting fear or anxiety registered there, Sully made a conscious effort to tamp down the fear of uncertainty within him.
"And I would like to do a transvaginal ultrasound on you next week, just to make absolutely positive everything is fine," he directed at Michaela.
She nodded in agreement and cast a glance at Sully to see his eyebrows raised in question, but she signaled with her eyes that she would explain later.
"Alright, as you know, most antibiotics are not safe for pregnancy. Therefore I am prescribing a seven-day course of Cephalexin for the UTI, and I want you to begin prenatal vitamins immediately. I'll write a prescription for them after I see the results of your blood work."
"Alright," Michaela responded.
"Doc...what's the due date?" Sully asked softly, prompting a happy smile from his wife.
"What day did your menstrual begin in August?"
"The tenth," Sully answered before Michaela could respond. She merely held tightly to him as she fought to process the wonderful information, striving to keep herself from bursting into tears in reaction.
The doctor nodded and flipped to a calendar in the back of Michaela's chart, smiling at the deliriously happy couple as he announced, "I put your due date as May 17."
The couple looked into each other's eyes, bursting with the desire to shout of their joy.
"Once again, congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Sully."
OOOOOOOOOOO
Much later, Sully held open the outer door for her as the ecstatic couple exited the doctor's office, paperwork and prescriptions in hand. Sully reached for Michaela's hand and their eyes met. Without further adieu, he scooped her up in his arms and twirled her around as he tipped his head back and yelped, "Yaaaahooooo!"
Michaela laughed in delight and hung on to his shoulders, lovingly submitting to his kiss as he came to a stop on the sidewalk. The oblivious couple would have been slightly embarrassed if they had glanced at the windows, as all of the nurses had gathered there, grinning and chuckling at the exuberant pair.
Pulling back a little from the kiss, Michaela whispered, "I can't believe it..."
"Neither can I...but we did it Chaela...we made a baby!" he added, his incredible blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight, his grin ear-to-ear. Still holding her in his arms and nuzzling her lips and cheek as she raised a hand to caress his face, he stepped down off the sidewalk and strolled easily to the Escalade as if she weighed nothing.
"You may put me down now, Sully," she murmured against his lips with amusement.
"I like carryin' ya," he returned and she giggled softly as he was kissing her with one eye open to watch where he was going. Finally reaching their vehicle, he allowed her to slide to her feet at the Escalade's door. He unlocked and opened it, but gently pressed her against the side of the vehicle for one more kiss before allowing her to slide into the passenger seat and shutting her firmly inside.
Michaela watched him stride around the front, such a spring in his step it was as if he were bouncing on air. Within seconds he slid into the driver's seat and shut the door, turning to draw her into his arms for a full, deep kiss.
When he finally pulled back, his eyes were dreamy with joy as he gazed into hers with a whispered, "I love you so much."
She smiled into his eyes and leaned in to brush his lips again with hers. "I love you, too."
"Man, what a difference..." Sully mused, glancing around their surroundings and then back to her face. At her expression, he explained, "The last time we sat here in this parking lot after we came outta Dr. Bernard's office, we were angry, and scared, and had no clue how long the road ahead of us would turn out to be..."
"Yes...but persistence pays off, doesn't it?" she teased, caressing his cheek with the backs of her fingers. He turned his head slightly and kissed them.
"Yeah...it sure does," he whispered lovingly. "I feel bad, though...that I mighta caused you to get that infection," he murmured sincerely, searching her eyes for her feelings.
"Those things happen Sully; it may not have been your fault at all," she quickly assured him, lovingly smoothing a lock of his hair back off his forehead.
"Well, I ain't takin' no chances," he declared, gently grasping her hand to press a kiss to its palm. "From now on, I ain't touchin' you unless I just took a shower!" he added, his eyes twinkling with semi-seriousness.
She laughed and pulled back a little. "That might take some of the spontaneity away, don't you think?"
He laughed in return and turned to start the engine. "Let's go get your prescriptions and get on back home so you can rest."
"Rest?"
"Yeah...I want you all rested up and over that infection...after all – you're carryin' my baby now," he responded with a wink.
"I'm not disabled, Sully, just pregnant...and what do you mean your baby, Byron Frederick?" she began to fuss, albeit half-heartedly since she knew he was teasing.
"Okay, okay...you're carryin' our baby," he murmured, putting the vehicle in gear and reaching for her hand. Pressing his lips to her fingers, he added, "DANG it feels good to say that!"
"Yes it does," she agreed, buckling her seatbelt as the Escalade began to move. "It does, indeed."
OOOOOOOOO
Later that evening, Sully opened the door to their bedroom after securing the house for the night, to find his gorgeous wife standing sideways to her mirror, in just her underwear, her hands assessing her still flat abdomen. Her long, beautiful hair softly swished side to side as she moved.
Their eyes met in the mirror and she smiled shyly at being caught daydreaming. He shut the door grinning and sauntered to her, slipping his arms around her from the back and replacing her hands with his, eyes piercingly serious.
"You're gonna be the most beautiful, sexiest, cutest, most fetchin' pregnant lady that ever walked the earth," he whispered. "And you're all mine...that's the best part," he added with a wink.
"Oh Sully...it's so wonderful...I'm still a little afraid I'll wake up and find it was all just a dream," she sighed, leaning back against his chest, her hands caressing his. "It is real...isn't it?"
"You betcha. I knew it would happen if we gave it long enough – and kept havin' fun tryin'," he added with a grin.
"I'm so excited to tell everyone...but I want to wait until after the ultrasound..."
"Yeah...what kind of ultrasound is that?" he asked, pressing a kiss to her temple and gently releasing her to begin removing his clothes for bed, while she searched for a gown in her lingerie drawer. Pulling out her favorite gown, she noticed it seemed crisp and wrinkled, plus filled with static.
"What in the world...?" she murmured, holding it up for inspection.
"What sweetheart?" Sully asked as he pulled his shirt off over his head.
Michaela checked the other items in her drawer, only to find they were all in the same condition. Holding up several pieces, she turned to him and held them out for him to see, eyebrows raised in question. "What's this? Did you do this?"
"Do what?" he hedged, clearing his throat, aggravated that his voice had cracked. He'd been dreading the inevitable confrontation about that infamous load of lingerie. When he had stuffed them in her drawer, underneath the ones already there, he had told himself he would think of something. Well...so far he hadn't.
"This!" she returned immediately, holding up several gowns in sad condition, her voice exponentially louder. "Obviously, you didn't put them on the indoor line like I asked you..." she stated, feeling herself getting madder by the minute. "Why didn't you?"
"Um...see..." he began, but she cut him off.
"Um? Sully...why would you do that?" she asked incredulously, her eyes suddenly like two-tone flamethrowers. "They're ruined!" she added, her voice catching as she turned her back to him and shuffled the contents of the drawer, her eyes filling with tears of frustration. "All of them! Ruined!" she repeated. Unreasonable anger welled up within her until she felt she was on the verge of exploding with rage. She'd never felt so angry in her life, and at that moment she wanted to throttle him.
He stood watching her for several moments and realized 'pregnancy hormones' must have just kicked into high gear. Knowing he had to tread softly, he moved up behind her silently, watching as her body shook with anger as she muttered unintelligible words under her breath.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Sorry isn't good enough, Sully! One of them I received as a wedding gift! And now I have nothing to wear to bed!" she barked sarcastically. He clamped his mouth shut before he could reply with something like, "That'd be fine with me."
After several more moments, he reached out to touch a strand of her hair, his fingers stopping just short of contact. There was nothing for it but to come clean and tell her the truth...he just hoped it was enough, wondering how long it would take this mood swing to swing the other direction...
"See...I couldn't remember what you told me...cause the kids were fightin'...I hadn't had any sleep...and...I kept lookin' at your undies in my hands...rememberin' how sexy you look in 'em...thinkin' about the last time I took 'em off of ya...and my mind just went kinda blank..." he admitted softly. "It was stupid of me to throw 'em in the dryer like that...I shoulda hung 'em on the line...Don't be mad at me...okay?" he added just above a whisper, reaching out a hand and giving the back of her arm a feather light caress.
In the time it took him to explain, Michaela went from boiling mad to tearfully sentimental and as her anger defused, she hung her head, turning slowly to face him, tears filling her eyes.
"Oh Sully!" she squeaked, throwing herself in his arms. He caught her and wrapped his arms around her tightly, tipping his head back as his eyes closed in relief.
Her heart pounding with emotion, Michaela clung to him, gasping in tears. "I'm sorry I got so angry Sully! I love you so much," she gasped out between gulps of tears.
He smiled softly and squeezed her gently to him, mindful of her tender breasts as he rocked slowly back and forth.
"Sshhh, it's alright. It's ok," he whispered, one hand cradling her head as the other softly caressed the bare skin of her back. "We'll buy you some more. We'll go tomorrow to that place you like in the mall and you get whatever you want, okay? And I promise...I'll never put your lingerie in the dryer again, I swear," he added, pressing a kiss to her hair, being careful not to let her see his amused grin.
She mumbled something in response and snuggled deeper into his embrace; the two standing together for long moments while her anger completely dissolved. Finally, she pulled back, shaking her head and wiping tears. "Oh my...I don't know what happened...I totally flipped out. My goodness, what you must be thinking of me; getting so angry like that..."
He thought about telling her that Abby's mood swings were so wild, she threw pots and pans at him. Instead he murmured, "You got a lot goin' on inside your body right now, that's all."
Michaela chuckled a little self-consciously and caught her bottom lip between her teeth. "I've heard so many stories of women flying off the handle due to pregnancy hormones...and I always told myself that would never happen to me," she admitted, gazing shyly up into his eyes.
He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. "From what I understand...it's not somethin' you can help."
"Evidently not..." she returned wryly.
"Here," he offered, turning to her drawer and removing the pair of pajamas she had worn during her illness the year before. "Wear these 'till we getcha some more." She took them from him with a sniffle and an embarrassed glance and set about donning them while he finished undressing down to his tee shirt and boxers.
When she finished, he smiled softly, took her hand, and drew her to the seat at her vanity. Knowing it always relaxed her, he picked up her brush and began to gently pull it through the waist length strands.
"So...you were gonna tell me about this ultrasound thing..." he prompted gently.
"Mmm, oh yes," she answered softly, blinking to focus her mind away from the wonderful feel of his hands in her hair.
"Dr. Bernard just wants to make absolutely sure we aren't dealing with an ectopic pregnancy, so a high resolution, transvaginal ultrasound is a very accurate way to do that."
"But...how is it different from a 'regular' ultrasound?" he prompted, remembering seeing Hannah's image on the ultrasound machine in the doctor's office with a nurse smearing K-Y Jelly on Abby's stomach and moving the probe around.
"A long probe is inserted into the vagina so that the uterus can be examined. The doctor can view the baby on the monitor, though it is still very tiny," she explained clinically.
He blanched at her description and paused in his ministrations, laying his hands softly on her shoulders so that she would look up at him in the mirror. "Does it hurt?" he asked softly.
She smiled and shook her head. "No...as long as he's gentle, which I'm sure he will be. And Sully...it will be the first sonogram picture of our baby," she added softly. "Our baby, Sully."
Their eyes held for several moments and as if on cue, each pair began to well with happy tears. He put the brush down and dropped to his knees next to the chair, drawing her gently into his embrace. Cradling her head in his large hand, he shut his eyes tight as one tear spilled over and made its way slowly down his cheek.
"Our baby...we're gonna have a baby, Mé'oo'o," he whispered reverently against her temple. "We're gonna have a baby," he repeated, still getting used to the fact that it had finally happened.
They stayed that way for several minutes; each basking in the other's touch and embrace as scenes of their little boy played like mini movies on the screens of their minds.
Finally, a thought came to him, and he whispered, "I wonder when it happened?"
She pulled back a bit to look thoughtfully into his eyes. "Well, we can tell the approximate date of conception based on ovulation," she explained, and he raised his eyebrows and nodded, encouraging her to continue.
"Ovulation happens halfway through the twenty-eight day menstrual cycle, counting from the first day, which was the tenth. During ovulation, the egg is viable for twenty four to forty eight hours. Therefore, theoretically, our baby was conceived on...August twenty four," she finished with a half grin and she gazed at him in the soft lamplight.
"August twenty four, huh?" he murmured, mesmerized by the healthy glow of her creamy skin and the different shades of color her eyes appeared in the low light of the room. Suddenly, those eyes grew large with realization and she gasped in delight.
"What?" he asked softly.
"Sully! Do you realize what that means?" she asked in awe. He shook his head, not following her train of thought.
"August 24th! Sully...that was the first day of our vacation at the reservation...remember? We made love in the teepee that night and...I asked you to please give me a baby..." she reminded him with a soft smile.
He nodded, grinning widely as memories of those magical moments played through his mind...making love with their eyes open, staring straight into each other's souls and recognizing as the other approached the pinnacle. It was one of the most profoundly intense sexual experiences they'd had thus far as a married couple.
"And when it was over...you prayed for God to let it happen that night...He answered you, 'Chaela," he added in soft wonder.
"Yes..." she whispered, softly closing her eyes. "Thank You, Jesus..."
"Amen," he whispered in agreement.
After several more moments, Michaela chuckled softly and opened her eyes to gaze into his, mischief lurking within the depths of hers. He grinned at her, eyebrows rising in silent question.
"Perhaps God used your 'pillow therapy' method to assist us," she teased, and they both chuckled, remembering Michaela perched uncomfortably, nearly upside down on the bed with two pillows under her hips.
"Well, like I always say...whatever works!" he quipped as they both dissolved into soft chuckles before their lips met for a sweet, loving kiss.
"You know what I wanna do now?" he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Well, considering we can't do your favorite thing at the moment, I would guess it would be...read the journal?"
He chuckled softly and nodded. "Yep. Climb on in bed, I'll get it."
As they both settled down against their beautiful, hand-carved headboard and opened the treasured tome, Sully turned his head and scanned his wife's eyes. Smiling as he read her mind, he murmured, "When she found out she was pregnant with Katie?"
Michaela smiled and nodded. "You know me too well, Mé'oo'o."
"Nah, never too well," he returned with a wink, carefully turning the pages. "Okay, let's see...around August or September of 1870?"
"Sounds about right."
Their eyes scanned the pages, seeing references to Halloween, large entries about Dorothy's book, many pages about Michaela's feelings regarding Sully leaving for a month to help his friend work a gold claim in Nevada, and several pages regarding Michaela making a dangerous trip to the top of Pike's Peak!
"I can't believe Sully let her go by herself like that!" Sully exclaimed.
Michaela immediately reacted, "Let her go?"
"Well, you know what I mean...dang, that's dangerous!"
"Yes, but Michaela Quinn was a very strong woman, very determined, and she knew she could take care of herself. I have a feeling if you told her she couldn't do something, she'd do anything or go anywhere to prove you wrong – and besides, look – Dorothy, Grace, and Myra went with her," she added, pointing to the names written in Michaela's graceful script.
"Well, still...I'd be scared to death if you wanted to climb Pike's Peak – in November – without me. Anything coulda happened...see there? She fell into a ravine!" he added as he spotted the words in the narrative.
"Oh I agree. I must admit...I'm not nearly as adventurous as my distinguished ancestor."
"Thank God for that!" he groused playfully.
As they continued scanning the elegantly penned words, Sully commented, "Dang, wasn't Katie born in May? Here it is November already and she's not mentioning bein' pregnant yet..."
"Yes..." Michaela murmured as she scanned the written words.
"Okay...she's talking about worrying that she may never be able to conceive no matter how hard she and Sully try," she read softly. "Oh, look, she says Sully keeps planning romantic baby-making interludes for them. Oh, Sully, listen,"
November 20...My desire to conceive a baby with my beloved husband consumes my thoughts day and night and I've begun to fear I may never get pregnant...perhaps I'm past my prime...yesterday I tried to confide my fears to Sully, but he reassured me that, 'Even if we don't make a baby, we sure could have a lotta fun tryin'. I ain't willin' ta give up...are you?"
Sully laughed out loud. "Wow, that sounds familiar!"
"Another uncanny coincidence," Michaela agreed with a grin as she continued.
His sweetness and sincerity just melted my heart, and I couldn't deny him. Last night, he planned a romantic dinner – he cooked! He said he learned how in the mining camps. It was delicious. He never let on before that he was an accomplished gourmet... it seems I continue to learn new things about my husband every day.
"I feel that way, too," Michaela commented, smiling at her handsome husband.
Sully flashed her a huge grin and winked at her in thanks.
November 21...Alas...our romantic dinner was interrupted because Ginny went into labor. It broke my heart, however, that there were complications with the cord...and the baby died in spite of everything I tried. Then Colleen had the sad task of informing Clayton their baby didn't make it.
"Oh dear, that is always so very hard...and back then I'm sure that must have happened quite often. Compared to our state of the art medical facilities, she had to make do with practically primitive resources."
"Yeah...I wonder if she's gonna say that made Sully pause though..." Sully wondered, putting himself in his ancestor's place.
She continued reading...
November 22...As I sit here alone in bed tonight, I'm thoroughly confused. Since the night our romantic dinner was interrupted...the night Ginny and Clayton lost their baby, Sully has been acting differently – very distant, and he won't tell me what is wrong. Just now I went down and tried to get him to come up to bed with me, but he said he wanted to finish carving the bird he's making as a mobile to hang over the baby's crib. I wish I knew what is bothering him...I've planned a romantic dinner to make up for the one we missed the other night. I hope that will restore his spirits...I miss his warmth and reassurance...I miss making love...
The couple looked at each other and nodded, each knowing instantly how their ancestors were feeling.
November 23...Oh my...I don't understand what is wrong...Sully keeps making excuses...even staying away from me. I know he is busy with the details for the Thanksgiving celebration at the reservation, but...he's hardly said three words to me...and when I told him about my romantic plans, he was standoffish and quiet...it reminds me of how he was those first few months after we met...
November 24...Oh how could I have been so blind! Sully told me last night that when he saw Clayton on his knees praying for his Ginny to live...it took him completely back to when he was on his knees begging for Abigail's life! He's afraid of losing another wife. I should have known!
"Uh uh, I had a feeling that was comin'," Sully murmured.
I tried to encourage him. I assured him that nothing was going to happen to me...but oh, the look in those precious blue eyes nearly put tears in mine. It was as if his heart was being slowly squeezed, and he murmured softly, "I ain't willin' to take that risk." And he got up and walked out of the room. I'm not sure now what will happen...the only way to be sure I would not get pregnant would be...total abstinence...
"Imagine what he was feelin'...he felt like his choices were – make love with his wife and maybe cause her to die and leave him... or go the rest of their marriage never being with the gorgeous woman that he's head over heels crazy about," Sully mused, shaking his head at his ancestor's misery. He leaned to kiss Michaela's head, nuzzling her hair as he couldn't help but imagine himself in the same situation, knowing either extreme would cause unbearable suffering.
November 26...I can't believe it! I feel so foolish – I can't believe I didn't know it – but I'm pregnant! Just yesterday, a specialist from Denver stopped by and examined me – I'm simply ecstatic!
"Finally!" the couple exclaimed in unison, chuckling together as they continued to read.
Oh my goodness – three months along already! Now that I think back, I simply ignored all of the signs – the absence of my monthly...my waist thickening...moodiness – especially about Dorothy and the book and when I got so angry at Sully for wanting to go and help his friend in Nevada. Oh my goodness! I was already pregnant when I fell into that ravine on the peak! Thank God that didn't cause me to miscarry!
"Wow! She must have had angels watching out for her on that deal!" Sully whistled softly. Michaela nodded, in truth amazed at the revelation.
The funny thing is...just before we left the house – he to go to the reservation for the Thanksgiving celebration and I to meet the specialist, I told Sully that I realized that I had been worrying so much about what I don't have, I had lost sight of what was right in front of me - him and the children - and that even if we were never able to have our own child, I'm still the luckiest woman in the world. Sully smiled and said he'd been thinking the same thing - that what we have is special and he's not going to let being afraid stop it from growing. I was so very happy that he seemed to have moved past his fear...and when I reached him at the reservation with the wonderful news, he was ecstatic! He picked me up and swung me around, laughing in delight...
Michaela stopped reading and gently closed the beloved volume, leaning against her husband with a sigh. He softly removed the journal from her hand and laid it on his nightstand, then turned back to view her face as she stared at nothing, deep in thought.
"Whatcha thinkin'?" he asked softly.
"Nothing really...just wondering..."
"Wonderin'?"
She turned in his arms, allowing her eyes to caress his beloved features...the strong, chiseled jaw, the proud nose, the luscious lips, the soft wavy hair, the incredible dimples, and of course those amazing eyes.
He smiled as he watched her perusing him. "Whatcha wonderin'?" he prompted again.
She took a deep breath, trying to form her thoughts into words. "It's just...our lives...and the lives of Michaela and Sully...there are so many parallels..."
He waited, finally whispering, "Yeah...?"
"Well...they had a girl, Sully...at least their first child was...and..." she paused again, feeling decidedly ungrateful – she had only just found out she was pregnant and already she was wanting to dictate which sex the baby would be.
"And you're wonderin' if all of our dreams and visions of our little boy will come true?" he asked softly, watching thoughts and emotions chase each other behind her beautiful multi-colored eyes.
She sighed softly and nodded once, looking away from his piercing gaze. He was having none of that, however, and immediately brought up a hand, touching his index finger gently to her chin, redirecting her gaze back to his.
"I think they will..." he murmured softly, searching her eyes. "But even if we get a girl...I'll be happy so long as she's healthy...and you're okay...cause she would be ours. Part of you and me...a baby made from our love."
Her eyes filled with tears at his sweet words and she smiled, feeling herself relax in the face of his calm, no-nonsense wisdom.
"You're right, as always," she murmured. Then her eyes drifted down to her still flat stomach, and she brought a hand over to caress it. "Our baby, Sully! Our baby!" she whispered again, still in awe of the blessed reality. After the debacle of believing she was pregnant the first time...and the subsequent monthly disappointments, she had totally resigned herself to waiting years and having to invest perhaps thousands of dollars to realize their dream.
He smiled again and leaned in for a soft, sweet kiss, then scooted down under the covers, gently pulling her with him as he murmured, "C'mon, let's get some sleep. You must be tired..." he added, knowing by subtle indicators in her body language that she was trying to ignore her fatigue.
She nodded and immediately turned on her right side as he spooned himself against her back. She smiled softly as she felt his strong left arm encircle her waist, his large palm settling perfectly in place on her belly, protecting the tiny baby encased within.
"I love you, Michaela," he whispered into her soft hair as he snuggled down comfortably.
"I love you, too," she answered, closing her eyes in perfect, contented bliss, falling asleep to thoughts of herself and the baby protected and safe in the arms of the most wonderful, understanding man in the world.