Chapter 36 – I would be better
A/N: Loving Canada though – sunshine is a great change from dreary rain. Sorry for the late update but it's hectic trying to get a computer/laptop that my cousins on relative aren't using.
Haven't done a disclaimer for a while so here we go…
I do not (tho I wish I did) own any of Stephenie Meyer's or L.J. Smith's characters.
EPOV
My thoughts tried to adjust themselves into what I'd just witnessed. Sure I could deny it but if vampires are real why can't witches exist. Seeing Isabelle in that element where she drew in her power, completely threw logic out the window. How she'd moved herself into some kind of trance was fascinating and I knew this new information would interest Carlisle, if he even got the chance to see her again...
Reason why I doubt their reuniting is because of everything I'd witnessed between the black haired vampire and Belle. I wasn't stupid enough to miss how tightly they'd held onto one another and neither had I missed how they shared these private glances. It was obvious that Damon affected Isabelle in a way I didn't and even though I was in close view of her movements and her reaction to the Damon vampire, I had concluded that I would only leave if she sent me away.
Looking around the room, i saw how they all rushed to save the human and I prepared myself to follow Isabelle but she was stayed in her place watching s her 'friends' rush away leaving only the three of us.
Isn't this charming? I could hear his mental voice taunting me, wanting to illicit a reaction but I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists to prevent myself from proving my jealous rage on his face. Instead I fixated my attention on Isabelle wondering what her next move was.
She seemed to realise the tense atmosphere as she looked from both of us before reaching into her pocket as she informed us in haste, "I need to make a phone call" she ran off ignoring our please for her to not leave us alone.
If I thought it was awkward before...
Sighing, I slumped back down onto the sofa and rested my elbows on my knees while avoiding
We both watched as Belle sauntered out of the room and I couldn't help but notice the seductive way her hips swayed with each step.
She turned to give both me and Damon a wary glance and offered a faltering smile before opening the door. She sighed shaking her head at both of us before going outside.
"So Edmund..." he dragged out the word as he sat down.
Holding back the sneer, I kept my clenched fists by my side not wanting to do anything I'd regret later, "It's Edward" the angered growl accompanying my tone couldn't be helped.
He simply sneered at me, an amused glint in his eyes as his thoughts broke through again, What Isa sees in him…
This time I snapped... "I don't know what she sees in you either" I growled, the anger flared and I could taste the venom that began to pool in my mouth. Snapping my teeth together, I tried to force back the rage.
"Like it's important"
I was brought up to be polite and cordial to all so I bit my tongue to stop the insults raging out. Instead, I ignored him and moved back to the sofa and sunk down onto it as I waited for Belle's return.
But he wasn't giving up, "How can you even show your face again after what you did?"
I snapped up to look at him, rising from my seat with clenched fists, "You are such a hypocrite. As if you haven't hurt her" I spat out the words in disgust. How dare he? Accuse me when he has done the same thing himself.
"You don't know what you're talking about" his dark glare boring into my eyes as he clenched his jaw and copied my stance as he too balled up his fists.
I know that I hurt Isabelle and I would be doing everything in my power to atone of my mistakes if she let me have the chance but the f act that he was trying to make himself sound holier than thou made me sick. We both knew he hurt her too. "She deserves better than the likes of you" each word was filled with the venom that I failed at holding back.
"And you think that you're perfect for that role?" he laughed at the thought and my glare just darkened as he continued to taunt me.
"I would be better for her than you"
His eyes became icy but then a mischievous glint played in his eyes and before I could question him, the memories unfolded, playing into my mind. The pictures of him and Isabelle in each other's embrace caught me off guard and I watched in horror as he brought memories of how he brought her to ecstasy. I cringed and closed my eyes fighting away the strength of the thoughts but they kept breaking through.
Not able to hold back the anger anymore, I growled, "STOP" but it rendered useless as he tortured me so I charged at him causing the both of us to crash into the wall.
He scrambled to his feet in a haste as did I and he grabbed me only to kick me in the stomach with such force that I landed on the bookcase.
Him….and my Isabelle…..
I couldn't fight it anymore as the red stained my sight, clouding my reasoning which was why I reached for a broken piece of the wood and charged towards him, ready to end his life by piercing the stake into his frozen heart. Raising the stake in the air, but as I ran a blur of a figure came in front of him and before I could tell what was happening, I pushed into the wall again.
Belle's distraught voice broke through in an anguished sob, "Stop" and I looked up to meet her wide brown eyes full of fear and silent tears brimming in them.
What was I doing? I looked down at my hands, which were gripping tightly at the weapon and dropped the stake – ready to beg for forgiveness. This was not the way to get Belle to choose me –she probably hated me at this point. The thought broke my frustration and I gripped at my hair, wanting to pull the locks out.
Of course she could never choose you. His voice infiltrated through my raging thoughts and I snapped up to glare at him. He had the audacity to smirk at me. I continued to glare at him, not backing down but battling my poor reasoning which was urging me to attack again.
I turned away from him as the urge grew stronger and sat back down at the sofa, trying to calm myself and think of the consequences – like losing Isabelle. That was something I wouldn't ever risk. She was everything to me and I would forever fight for her even if it meant putting up with-
I've made love to her 345 times – that counts for something. I mean, you two haven't even gone past the kisses have you sparkly. I told her any vampire that glitters is gay and u think t- he was brought up short when I broke from the seat and moved towards him, the urge kill him becoming way too much to reign in.
I neared him but was brought back with Isabelle's desperation in her voce as she acted, "Stop! Just Stop it!`` she seethed and I glanced down at her only to find a terrifying expression. Her eyes had grown bloodshot, veins framing under them, each so prominent as if engraved to her face but I could see them pulsing with the anger that had brought them on. Not only that but her mouth gaped open in a menacing growl allowing me the view of the sharp defined fangs bared at me.
This was a side of her that I hadn`t witnessed – hadn`t been prepared for and I couldn`t help but stumble back away from this – this part of her.
She said something else but I didn`t catch it as the image stained itself into my mind. It was so unexpected – so different from how she looked. I hadn`t expected such a monstrous expression to ever appear on her angelic beauty.
She turned around from Damon to meet my eyes but the glare slipped as did the frightening features as she caught my expression. Surprise and realisation in her still bloodshot eyes as she fixed her gaze on me.
With the silence brought the tension but I couldn`t seem to find my voice – what would I have said anyway. She kept her eyes on me as if waiting but I kept quiet – not sure what to make of what I`d witnessed. A new buried layer that had been unfolded for me.
``You`re afraid`` she stated in barely a whisper. Is that what my features were displaying? Sure I was surprised but afraid? ``You`re afraid of me`` her voice had taken on a new edge – anger perhaps? `
She moved away from me and Damon, ``Well you wanted to know me. All of me – before those were just words. Well now you`ve seen the truth – the other side of me`` the anger rose with each sentence. Why hadn`t my voice returned – I wanted to disagree – assure her that I wasn`t scared – just surprised but nothing came. ``Like I told you before Edward. I have killed and probably will kill again – I mean if you double crossed me, I wouldn`t think twice when ripping your fucking head off. The thing with the candles – is only a fraction of what I could do…" her dark glare was burning holes into me but still I couldn't form words to calm her nerves. She continued to look at me, the silence lengthening between us which pushed us further apart. She then broke the gazer and glanced between me and him with a crushed and disappointed look before composing her expression into stone but her eyes gave a clear view of the anguish she was holding back. "Fuck you Edward" she sneered, when catching my eyes then grabbing her jacket she stomped out leaving the two of us alone again.
But this time I didn't have the strength to fight with him.
BPOV
"Leave the bottle this time" I slurred out to the cute bartender who gave me a questioning look but I hitched an eyebrow daring him to challenge me.
Pushing the glass aside, I drank from the bottle but almost choked when I heard my name being called from behind me. Reluctantly I pulled my lips away from the bottle and swivelled in my chair with the warm fuzzy feeling elating me. There stood Matt wearing a worried expression as he held the tray full of dirty dishes.
"Hey Matt, Matty, Matty, Matt, Matt" I sang, bouncing on the seat, feeling giddy from the hype of the alcohol induced nerves.
"Thought it was you" he smirked obviously amused by me but I was past caring as I downed some more of the Smirnoff. "Woah Slow down" he steadied my sway with one hand while balancing the tray. "You'll regret it tomorrow" he warned but was given away with the laughter in his tone.
Looking him dead in the eyes, my tone dropped the humour and became stern as I promised, "I'll regret it now if I don't drink" he seemed to get the message as he cleared his throat and I smirked at him hoping to give him some ease.
"Drowning your sorrows?" he questioned. Why do people waste their breath on asking questions they already know the answer to? Still I went along to amuse him.
Tipping back the drink, I guzzled more of the burning taste, rolling my eyes at Matt's incredulous look. Please….this was nothing. Looking back up to him, I finally answered his question with a lazy smirk, "Trying to"
"How's that working out for you?" the judgement was clear in his blue eyes. Blue eyes – Matt's were a darker shade whereas Dam- his were a more piercing icy blue that seemed to be looking straight into your soul.
With a sarcastic and very un-ladylike manner, I snorted before replying, "Pretty great so far" this time, I drank the rest of the bottle and licked my lips loving the bitter taste that numbed me so I wouldn't feel anything. I looked around in search of another drink and I saw as the bartender turned around to fix another drink so I quickly reached over to swipe the sherry – not as good but still fairly strong. Before bartender could see, I quickly pivoted in my seat to face Matt but ignoring his presence as I greedily opened the cap to claim my treasure.
Thank you Mr. Grant for blessing us with this wonderful creation.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" he asked once the rim of the bottle hit my lips. I paused and when looking up at him, I caught the worry laced in his eyes but instead of guilt tripping me, I only enraged me. Who was he but a mere mortal to tell me what to do? I was tired of that bullshit.
"Don't you have a job to get to?" I sneered back with a low growl rumbling in my chest. Matt's eyes grew into pebbles before he stalked off not giving me a second glance.
Well I don`t give a fuck.
Once he disappeared from my menacing glare, I turned around in my chair to down the sherry. It was slightly sweeter than the vodka but seemed stronger. After my first three gulps, I bowed my head breathing in the sweet smell of oblivion. Darkness begun to threaten my thoughts and I was gladly welcoming it so I took more of the sherry wanting it to finally send me into oblivion. To not only fuzz the thoughts but to erase them so all I could think about was the warmth spreading to my toes.
Just as I reached for the bottle again, a hand wrapped around mine, curling fingers into mine so it too was wrapped around the bottle. I knew who`s fingers as the sparks shot up my own fingers with the innocent touch. Pushing that thought away, I wriggled away from the burn of the touch interfering with the bliss I was in. "Damon. Ssssalvatore Sweetnessss" giggling at my own really lame joke as I lazily turned to face him but ended up falling off the chair into his arms. This only made me burst into sa fit of unnecessary giggles. "You came. You came to get me" I teased but my heart warmed to the fact that he came. Cullen had probably gone home – already scared him off and that called for another drink.
"Yep, I did" he opened his mouth ready to say something but closed it again with a shake of his head. "Let's go" he instructed, the creases developing on his forehead and his eyes hard as he mulled over something. Stroking his forehead, I smoothed out the creases which made him smile and left a brief kiss on my inner wrist before dropping it. Something about the way he let go made me panic slightly but I tried to shake it off as paranoia.
Copying, his previous action, I too, shook my head at his request but the grin wouldn't budge from my lips, making it impossible for him to know I'm serious, "I don't wanna leave. Me and Sherry were just getting started" winking at him as I drank some more wanting the darkness to creep up quickly.
"You've had enough" he urged and pulled on my arm but again I shook my head at him but also shook the bottle in his face and we both watched as the golden liquid sloshed around the early empty space. I didn`t realise I`d drank so much of it already.
Damon pulled again, dropping me out of my daze, "Nooooo" I playfully dragged out the refusal, as he pulled me away from the bar but I acted quickly and took the sherry bottle with me, tucking it into my arms.
"Time for bed, Isabelle" there was nothing amusing about his tone – it was so detached – so icy and demanding. I didn't like this Damon.
"You work fast don't you" teasing but all he did was give a brief smile before letting it drop and I furrowed my eyebrows looking at the ground at my shuffling feet as I wondered why was he acting like this? So cold, so distant.
He got me in a locked embrace with his arm around my waist urging me on and I whimpered leaving all that medicine (ha!) behind - well at least I had sherry. And with that thought…. "Nooooo" I cried out again when he took the drink away from me dropped it in the bin as we made our way out.
Him treating me like a child was insulting an I pushed away from his hold and stormed out of the bar leaving him trailing behind after me. I was so angry at him that I bumped into the person waiting there.
Fucking Edward.
In the uncomfortable silence, our awaited unanswered questions lingering in the atmosphere waiting for one of us to start but when he kept his silence, I decided to begin, "I thought you left" was my detached sneer as I tried not to sound drunk but fortunately and unfortunately, I could already feel the buzz being erased.
He simply furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head.
Rolling my eyes, I broke the tension, "I saw how you looked at me. You were scared" hearing myself say what I'd seen brought up the engraved memory of how he'd stumbled away from me – trying to escape, the dreaded look on his face as he gaped at me with fear clouding his eyes.
"Yes. I was." He confirmed and I looked away but he stepped closer to me so I looked up seeing the conflict playing in his eyes, "because even though I heard you say that you were dangerous, I never really saw what you meant" he answered and I knew he was being honest. I appreciated he wasn't sugar-coating his answer either.
The memory shifted and I imagined the fangs and the veins on ,my face and cringed realising what I had looked like to him, "And now you have" stating dumbly.
He nodded again and whispered a simple, "Yeah"
"So why didn't you leave?" truthfully I was waiting for him to say something along the lines of him leaving now but he was too proud to not say goodbye.
Instead, Edward cupped my face., brown eyes meeting his golden orbs, as he gave his answer nonchalantly, "I could never leave you" he said it as if it was the most obvious thing,
"Edward – you don't know me that well" countered back knowing there was more he hadn't seen. What if those moments came up and he got scared again? I couldn't keep being careful around him, never acting on impulse because I'm afraid that Edward would perceive me as a….a threat.
"I'm here aren't I?" he smirked and I returned it
"Yes" sharing the same smirk, "Yes you are" sighing deeply, a peaceful smile on my lips as I stared up at him. Then I quickly moved back from him realising that we were dangerously close and when looking behind me, I saw that Damon had caught that too.
A wave of nausea hit me, mingled with the guilt and I could feel the blackness of unconsciousness creeping in. Clutching my head from the dizziness, I swayed and frantic arms caught me. Hiss urgent voice sounded distant as did his blurry figure and I felt another set of arms encase me before falling into a deep slumber.
xxxxx-later on-xxxxx
The dreamless slumber slowly faded and I began to rouse from the sleep. Once I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I rolled to the side, I looked at the bedside clock which read 6:45am and I sighed falling back onto the silk pillows.
Wait - Silk Pillows?
Where were the flower-patterned bedspreads?
All I could see was silk and I grabbed at it instinctively covering myself suddenly feeling exposed but as I looked to my other side, I found no one – no drunken mistake.
Breathing out a sigh of relief, I ran my palm over my face before searching around the darkness but I could see the antique of the room and realised where I was. Another sigh of relief realising it was Damon's room.
Last night's happening began to replay on my mind and I groaned realising I was now back to reality where Damon and Edward were. Contemplating over going back to sleep, I decided against it – might as well get it over and done with.
Reluctantly, swinging my legs over, I padded into Damon's bathroom and switched on the light once my feet hit the cold marble. Looking at the mirror, I groaned at what I was met with.
Urgh, I looked a fucking mess – my hair was a haystack, my eyes were bloodshot and I was in last night's clothes. Everything I had at Damon's, I had taken back to Mrs. Flowers' so I had to go back there- not that I really wanted to stick around if those were at each other's throats – wait.
Would Edward still be here? Were they both downstairs?
And with that thought, my suspicions were confirmed as I heard a loud crash and wood breaking accompanied by the ferocious growl. "Fuck" forgetting about my dreadful appearance and rushing out of the room and sprinting down the stairs into the main room.
My eyes searched around but found nothing so I ran to the dining room where I found exactly what I had suspected. Shards of glass and pieces of the broke wood were scattered where the dining table used to stand. Damon had Edward pinned to the wall, his had around his throat but Edward was trying to pry off his fingers.
"What the fuck are you doing?" both of them jumped at my loud outburst, both of them turning to look at me before I saw how Damon was first to break the gaze and let Edward go and Edward stumbled back.
Like yesterday, the slice befell us as did the suffocating tension. Edward's eyes captured mine and he held my gaze and I read the desperate plea in them but when looking at Damon, I found that he was staring out the window with a faraway look it triggered the memory of
Damon avoided my eyes and began to leave but I gripped his arm turning him to me. "What the fuck was that?" my chest heaving as I looked up to his bowed head. Finally he rose his head, to look eyes with me and I stumbled from the dark glare that he was giving me. His blue eyes were so graven – so cold yet so tired as he cast his glare onto me.
Wh- why? I silently asked and his eye softened but only slightly, almost as if he got the question I'd been asking. Feeling confident, I reached over to touch his chest but he avoided the gesture and it stung – the simple rejection cut through me. My worst fears – my nightmares were manifesting into reality.
He moved back catching my fearful gaze and shook his head with an aggravated sigh, his raven hair was sticking out so I knew he'd been pulling at it a lot, I waited for him to say something or do something to show me he was still there – my Damon. Now I would give anything for him to hug me or kiss me just so I knew he still cared but the coldness of his expression had thrown me off – making me question if he even gave a damn anymore.
He finally looked up; the glare was gone but replaced with an anguish twist of his features. I really wanted to reach up and smooth out his frown lines but I was struck dumbfounded – not even sure if he would've allowed that. I hated this.
"I-I can't do this, Isabelle" Damon sighed, slumping his shoulders showing me he was giving in – his final defeat exposed. I knew this was coming – I was losing him – correction – I had lost him and it wasn't Elena or Katherine. It was me. "I just can't" he continued but he didn't have too. I took a step backwards from him, not wanting to hear what I already knew.
The air escaped my lungs and I searched around for an exit before he could doom us with the final decision falling from his lips.
He didn't allow me to escape as he took a step forwards, determination in his eyes, "I can't sit here and listen to him talk about how he loves you. I can't sit around – for God knows how long, waiting for you to make a choice" he seemed to have difficulty saying this and I knew it was something that had been plaguing me.
I knew what he was getting at but I couldn't stop the stupid question, "What are you saying?"
"I want you to put me out of my misery" he murmured weakly and I saw the scared little soldier that had been brought into my care. Into my life. Damon cast a fleeting glance, over my shoulder, at Edward before deeply exhaling. "You have to choose Isabelle, Me or him"
A/N: A long time coming. Will this tiresome triangle ever end? Find out soon enough...
Who's feeling for Damon? Edward? Isabelle?
Sorry again about the delay but it was difficult enough getting my uncle to lend me his work laptop. Which means I won't be updating as much as I usually do but I'll do my best.
Thank you to all my supporters but also I welcome the new readers - hope your enjoying the story.
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