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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.
Huge hugs to Snarkymuch and Gredelina1 for sharing their awesome beta skills and to Arrr, Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen and Augustmoon99 for pre-reading.
This chapter is dedicated to bluefire-33, vampireanimegurl, NoOneWillSurrenderTonight, w8ing4rain, Fangscape, slcottin, SallyDog3, pandamonium69, Jella - Little Blues Musician and WhitlocksHevyn. The song for the last chapter was Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police.
Chapter Thirty Seven — Ask Me Why
Jasper POV
"EDWARD, NO!"
Alice's scream was still ringing in my ears as I flew up the stairs, crashing through the balustrade. The pieces hadn't even touched the floor before I was in the room with them. Edward was crouched over Bella's neck, the scent of her blood rich in the air.
I rushed forward ready to rip him from her, but there was no need, her shield flew out around her and he was sent sprawling into the bank of machines that surrounded her bed.
Oh shit.
The monitors were beeping erratically, the disconnected ECMO machine sending a fountain of her blood into the air, as it pumped on. Through it all I could feel the erratic pulse of terror as Bella's emotions broke over me.
'No, no, no, no, no!'
It was weakening though, as was her heartbeat.
"Bella, let me in!" I demanded, pressing against the impenetrable force that surrounded her.
Her heartbeat was weakening and only the ventilator remained connected. It was breathing for her, but what good was oxygen without the heart to pump it?
Edward was frantic, throwing himself at the shield and being repelled again and again. Whether he was trying to help or finish the job I didn't know. Emmett launched himself forward and dragged Edward to the balcony, Rosalie running to help.
"You will stay there," she ordered and even through my panic I noticed her voice held the power I had begun to associate with her gift.
'You promised,' Bella said weakly.
"I know and I am so sorry, we didn't know what he was going to do. It's not too late though, let us in and we can help," Carlisle pleaded, his eyes fixed on the ever decreasing flow of blood from the catheters still protruding from her neck. "Please, Bella, let me in."
'Rosalie, please,' Bella begged, 'the deal, help me.'
Rosalie looked stunned and then seemed to steel herself. "Let me in, Bella, and I will help."
"What deal?" I demanded, "What are you going to do, Rosalie?"
Rosalie stepped forward moving though the barrier as if it was not there, though when Carlisle and I tried to follow we were held back.
'Please,' Bella begged, 'please help me, Rose.'
Rosalie looked torn and my anxiety increased. "Rosalie, what the fuck are you doing?"
"Helping," she said simply then looked down at Bella. "I am so sorry."
She lowered her head and sealed Edward's bite with her tongue, sealing in the venom. Then she brought her wrist to her mouth and bit down, forcing her own venom into the wound.
'No, no, no,' Bella lamented, then whether because she had given up or because her strength failed, the shield dropped and Carlisle rushed forward.
I stood frozen in horror, unable to take in the scene before me and even more scared that if I tried to help I would make things worse. Bella's emotions were pounding at me; a storm of anger and sadness. There were no discernible words, just wave after wave of pain.
Carlisle sprung into action immediately, he removed the breathing tube from her throat and replaced it with a mask.
"Jasper, take this," he ordered, snatching my hand and holding it to the bag attached to mask when I remained unmoving. "Squeeze it in even beats, every three seconds. Jasper, can you do this?" he asked.
Snapping out of my fog I nodded and began to squeeze the bag, focusing on the timing and pressure as Carlisle and Rosalie worked frantically over Bella.
Carlisle reached for the catheters still protruding from Bella's neck and with a swift tug he tore them apart at skin depth, running his tongue over the small wound. Rosalie was removing the all the other wires and tubes attached to Bella.
I had witnessed more than my fair share of changes and this was not right. Her heart was beating fast, but unevenly, skipping beats and then rushing on again.
"Carlisle, something is not–" My words were cut off as Bella's heart gave one more futile thud then stopped at the same moment her emotions cut off.
Without missing a beat Rosalie snatched the bag from my hand and Carlisle began chest compressions. Edward was staring though the door, horror etched on his face, but he did not move. Either because he was too shocked or because Rosalie was affecting him, he seemed momentarily barred from entering.
Carlisle pushed down on her chest again and again, his lips moving rapidly. I caught a snatch of what he was saying "…to you I have recourse from the depth of my heart, and humbly beg you, to whom God has given such great power, to come to my assistance; help me now in my urgent need and grant my earnest petition.…"
He was praying.
The knowledge of what he was doing stole the strength from my legs, I sank to the floor watching them work though knew it was pointless. Bella was stubborn, she had made her decision and no amount of intervention from us was going to save her.
"Jasper, stop!" Rosalie demanded. "You are projecting."
Why stop? Bella was gone, why should I contain my emotions now? Why should I hold the agony in when it belonged to us all?
Alice and Esme were standing on the other side of the room clinging to each other as sobs racked their body, I had not even noticed them until now, such was the confusion. Emmett was standing beside Edward who was still staring at Bella as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
Edward.
This was all his fault, he did this to her. I was going to make him pay.
Smoothly regaining my feet I stalked towards him, he didn't even look at me; he was so caught up in the scene before him. With a cruel smile I launched myself at him. Crushing through the wrought iron of the balcony with the force of my lunge.
I pushed him away even as we fell, and the moment our feet touched the ground I was on him. Snarling and growling, raking his skin with my nails, determined to destroy him. Scar him physically as he had scarred us emotionally.
"Jasper, stop!" Emmett bellowed.
I ignored him.
Catching Edward across the chin with a kick I leapt onto his back and gripped his chin and forehead with my hands. I leaned down to his neck, preparing to run my teeth across his skin, ending it once and for all.
"Listen, Jasper!" Emmett shouted, landing at my side. "Listen."
I stopped; listening hard.
"What…" I trailed off as I heard what he meant.
There was a heartbeat in the house again.
The racing of a changing heart.
Edward POV
Jasper released me and ran back into the house, but I stayed kneeling on the ground, listening to the most significant sound in my universe; Bella's heart.
The events of the last few minutes flashed through my mind like a macabre movie reel. Bella lying prone on the bed, my teeth sinking into her neck, the shock of being pushed away by an invisible force, the blood pouring from her wound, Rosalie stepping forward finishing what I started. Saving my Bella for me. Whether she wanted to be saved or not.
I heard Jasper's thoughts as she was pleading for help, reminding Rosalie of their deal. Then Rosalie ordered me away, I had been powerless to resist, I was compelled to obey.
One thing was certain, I had missed a lot more while I was away than I thought.
When Jasper had attacked me I knew he was planning to kill me, his thoughts had been focused and I had wanted it. My life ended when Bella's heart stopped, but now I had been granted a reprieve I could not seem to find the will to get to my feet and return to her side.
I felt someone approach behind me and expected it to be Alice, I was shocked when it was Rosalie that spoke.
"Are you okay?"
I stared at her incredulously, how could I possibly be okay after what had just happened?
"You need to get off your ass, get out of those bloody clothes and get back to her side." I looked down at my shirt, I hadn't even noticed the blood rapidly drying against my skin.
I rose unsteadily to my feet, but did not move towards the house, I couldn't bring myself to go back to her after what I had done.
"You listen to me and listen good," Rosalie snarled, gripping my chin and forcing my eyes to meet hers. "I just broke a promise to someone I love for you, so you better fix it."
"What promise?" I croaked "What deal did you make with her?"
"Do you remember the agreement we made after I killed Royce and the others?" I nodded, how could I ever forget. "Well I made the same deal with Bella. Six months."
"How could you?" I gasped.
Her nails dug into my chin, the cuts healing almost instantly. "You weren't here, you don't understand. If I hadn't she would have found a way to do it herself even sooner."
She open her mind and showed me the days of Bella's silence, the creeping suspicion as the tachycardia became more frequent. The moment she confronted Bella, the explanation, and the deal they had made.
"I bought you time," she hissed. "Time to come and make this right. Bella will never forgive me for what I did, so you damn well better make it worth it."
I gently eased her hands from my chin, looking deep into her eyes I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you, Rose," I said sincerely. "I am sure Bella will forgive you in time."
She snorted. "You have a lot to learn about the new Bella, she is very different to the timid mouse you left behind." She grinned. "In fact, I'd say she is more of a lion now."
I smiled grimly and made my way into the house. I could tell as I entered my room that no one else had been in here since we left. The air was stale and dust covered every surface.
I stripped off my bloody clothes and used a washcloth to clean off the blood. I could hear Esme and Alice's thoughts as they cleaned Bella up in the next room. She was almost silent, the only sound her breath hissing between her teeth.
Jasper was standing in the room, his back turned for her privacy, but he was focusing on his gift, trying to feel her emotions. He seemed concerned that she was completely blocked from him instead of in what he called the 'void'.
I dressed hastily and made my way to the library, entering slowly, expecting another attack from Jasper. But for all the attention he paid me I may not have been there.
Alice was clearing away the soiled linens and clothing, she smiled tentatively at me as she passed. Bella was now dressed in a tank top and sweat pants, her favorite style of clothing for comfort. The thought brought a grim smile to my face. All these things I had missed.
Now she was not attached to the machines she didn't look quite so small, but she did look thin, far too thin. Her eerie stillness disturbed me, it wasn't natural, Jasper was thinking the same.
Carlisle slipped in and began examining Bella, the small wounds on her neck the ECMO catheter had left, had been sealed by venom, the area around them had already taken on a faint sheen. Carlisle took her hand and pressed gently against her skin, noting the slight difference in pliability already.
"Carlisle," Jasper began anxiously. "What's wrong with her? Why is she so quiet?"
"I don't know that anything is wrong exactly," he began. "She may just be quiet like I was."
"Or?" he asked. The rigid set to his jaw emphasizing his worry.
"I don't know Jasper, she has been through a lot today, physically and emotionally. I don't want to make assumptions." He smiled grimly. "I have learnt where Bella is concerned, assumptions never turn out how I expect."
His thoughts reflected on the wasted time while he believed her to be brain dead. He harbored immense guilt for his lack of trust in Jasper, and for the careless disregard he had shown Bella at that time.
"But you think something is wrong?" Jasper pressed.
I felt uncomfortable with his questions, it felt like he was taking all the words from me. She was my mate, I should be the one asking. He felt my jealousy and shot me a mocking look.
'Things have changed, deal with it.'
Again I felt a surge of jealousy, he had Alice why was he taking my Bella from me.
'I love her as a sister,' he rolled his eyes. 'I love Alice, she is my world, but Bella is very important to me. You may as well get used to that now as it's not changing.'
There was a degree of doubt in him though, he was not entirely sure things would be the same after he had, to use his own words, failed her so badly.
"I think you should hunt now, Jasper," Carlisle suggested. "We all should, Edward can stay with Bella."
Jasper did not look at all impressed with this idea, but Carlisle stared at him, a silent conversation I was not privy to passing between them.
"I will not be far," Jasper said, a warning note in his tone. "I can feel her emotions at quite a distance now. I will be listening."
I nodded, barely restraining the urge to roll my eyes at him, this was my mate, I would never hurt her. Never again. I amended.
He left the room and a moment later I heard him talking quietly with Esme and Alice who were waiting at the river.
Carlisle paused at the door, looking back at me. 'Will you be okay, Edward?'
"I'll be fine, we both will," I assured him. He looked at me appraisingly, then he too joined the others at the riverbank.
After a moment I heard their footfalls fade as they crossed the river and disappeared into the forest.
I moved to sit at Bella's side, taking her hand in mine, noting the slightly lowered temperature, she was changing fast. I wondered if it was a result of the blood loss or something more sinister.
"I guess it's just you and me for now then, Bella," I said, my light tone sounding false to my own ears.
I rubbed a thumb over the back of her hand, she used to like that before…
That simple word held so much meaning to me now, before, it was as if we had passed into a whole new world. In a way Bella had, she was, even now, moving on from her human life into the eternal existence of a vampire.
"I am so sorry," I said, trying to find a way to articulate my regret. "I am sorry for what I did to you when I left. I am sorry for the consequences you have been forced to live with. I thought I was saving you by leaving, turns out I was dooming you instead."
"I am not sorry for biting you though. I once told you I was a selfish creature and you didn't believe me, I am sure you will now. I couldn't bear the thought of life without you, so I did what I could to keep you with me."
I broke off, listening to the rapid thud of her heart and her hissed breaths.
"I am not sure if you can hear me, but please, Bella, please give me a sign that you are there. You are scaring me."
There was no response at first, then I felt a force pressing against me. I thought she was going to force me away again with her strange shield.
What happened was far worse.
It was as if a floodgate had been opened and I was frozen in place as a torrent of images were forced over me.
A young man, changed from the innocent boy of my memory into a man. Jacob Black, standing in a familiar room, shouting accusations, Charlie's pallid face as he lay in a pool of blood. 'You knew!' Another young man, one I didn't know, leaning over me, speaking words I could not hear, a voice, my own voice, speaking frantically "Hang on Bella, fight it, fight the darkness." Pain, burning pain as bright lights passed over closed lids, unknown voices, the voices of the family as they spoke, the desperation to speak, but being unable to…
The images kept coming, each more powerful than the last. I gripped my head in my hands, trying to block it out, but it was useless.
I felt everything she felt as the memories - as I now realized that is what they were - broke over me. Every emotion she felt was forced upon me, and dear lord she had felt so much.
I fell to my knees, my forehead touching the floor, a groan slipping though my lips.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am so sorry," I chanted. "Please forgive me."
The images never ceased and I was incoherent with the agony when the family found me.
"Edward, what's wrong?" Esme asked frantically, trying to pull my hands from the tight grip they had in my hair.
"Please make it stop," I begged. "I can't bear it."
"Make what stop? What is happening to you?"
As abruptly as the images came they ceased, leaving me curled on the floor, my head in Esme's lap.
"What the fuck was that?" Emmett asked.
"That," Jasper said with a satisfied smile, "was Bella."
Voting for the One-Shot, Short Story and Newbie Author categories of the Emerging Swan Awards are open. I have been nominated for Best Newbie Author and my one-shot The Talk: Simaril Style is up for Best Humor. Gredelia1 is also up for Best Newbie Author and her one-shot More is up for Best Slash/Femslash/Threesome/etc. If you are looking for a good read check out the nominations, there are some amazing stories listed.
You can vote here: emergingswanawards(.)blogspot(.)com(/)p(/)voting(.)html
The response to the last chapter was amazing. You all have such different opinions on what Edward did and what should happen next. It makes me even happier that none of you guessed what will happen so I still have the ability to surprise you.
I have a new selection of lyrics for you to take a look at. Same rules apply; whoever guesses the song will get the next chapter dedicated to them. Good luck.
~ Lights go out and I can't be saved. Tides that I tried to swim against. Brought me down upon my knees. Oh I beg, I beg and plead. ~
