"And you just agreed to join them? Were you planning on discussing this with us, or were you just planning to go merrily on your way?"
The druid's green eyes snapped at Finn as she made her dislike of the mission plain. The others glanced uncomfortably at the two and out of politeness found a heightened interest in their breakfasts.
"What, do I need to ask permission to make a decision now? I was under the impression that I was in charge," he snapped back.
"Yes, when it suits you," Jaheira responded. "But you still feel free to fall back and let Khalid and I manage your affairs whenever you can't be troubled."
Anna said nothing. Finn had potential but she'd often wondered why the experienced Harpers generally seemed to defer to his decisions, and her awkward conversation with Khalid on the subject didn't tell her much more than she already knew. She'd kept it to herself, but at times she thought that they'd be better off if the pair took greater control. It almost seemed to her that they were quietly molding him into a leader, for what purpose she couldn't fathom.
"Can't I ask for advice when I need it? You never seem to have any problems doling it out, that's for sure," Finn said.
Jaheira sputtered and her cheeks went red.
"You truly are an ignorant boy, aren't you? I try to pretend otherwise, but it is for naught."
"Jaheira!" Anna exclaimed, then flushed slightly. The druid glared at her but said nothing. Before Finn could reply Khalid spoke up.
"Th-this is not the discussion w-we should be having n-now, my love. We have to deal w-with the issue at h-hand."
Jaheira seemed to deflate at his words.
"Yes…I apologise. I spoke rashly. But I do wish you had consulted us first and allowed us to meet these people. This mission is too complex for your—relative inexperience."
"I would not say those two can be trusted, but I believe we share the same immediate goal," Xan said thoughtfully, staring at the rather greasy sausage and eggs that lay untouched on his plate. "They seem serious about defeating Tazok. Without more information I believe they are our best chance of locating him, I'm sorry to say."
"There? See, even Xan agrees with me," Finn said, his eyes narrowing at Jaheira. He hadn't looked much pleased at her comments.
"Oh, let it lie," Jaheira replied, rubbing her forehead.
"We should s-still get more d-details before rushing off into anything," Khalid said. "Especially as your descriptions m-make them sound somewhat m-mad."
"That's putting it mildly," Imoen said, her eyes still red and puffy from the night before.
Anna looked up to see a strangely grim-faced Coran and Safana approach the table.
"Manke nae lle?" she heard Xan say low as the elf sat at his other side.
"N'ai'manke," Coran said shortly, the enchanter frowning in reply.
The pair hadn't returned to the chamber till after the others had retired and had left before they'd stirred in the morning. Anna wondered but with all the other thoughts running through her mind gossip was her last concern. Finn seemed to have little interest in what the pair were doing, so why should it concern her?
"Khalid and I shall speak with them after breakfast," Jaheira continued, levelling her own look at the tardy duo. "If they have any information which will help us plan an assault, we will need it. This mission will be…difficult, to say the least."
She frowned and her lips tightened.
"Do you need anything from me now?" Anna asked suddenly. "I have something I need to do."
"No," Jaheira sighed. "But do not go far."
Anna imagined herself being teleported back to Beregost but muttered an agreement and excused herself from the table.
...
Making her way up to the chamber she pulled writing materials from her pack, then made her way down a few flights and settled at one of the small desks that were scattered on the more trafficked levels. She spread a thick piece of parchment over the wood and stared at it for a moment, regarding the flecks of dust that drifted slowly in the block of sunlight from a nearby window. The letter needed writing. But what could she possibly say? She knew she couldn't relate the truth of the situation, and she didn't want to. With a sigh she picked up her quill.
'Dearest Maya,
I hope this letter finds you well. I still feel dreadful for leaving after the events but I thought it best for everyone's sake if I didn't remain in Beregost. Hopefully there has been no further trouble.
We arrived safely at the Friendly Arm Inn, and as usual the tavern has lived up to its name. The hospitality has been wonderful and we are all very comfortable here, although their sauces still don't compare with yours! We've had fine weather for the journey though I am still thankful for the thick wool socks you knitted. I am not entirely sure when our next move will be, but I will write again if we travel elsewhere.
Anna paused and thought for a moment, then wrote carefully.
'As I do not know how long I will be away from home, I wanted to tell you that I arranged some time ago for the cottage to be cared for by you should I ever be delayed. The solicitor Havery has the details should it become an issue at tax-time, for example. I know that you manage everything wonderfully, but it bears mentioning.
She looked at the words and sighed again; their import would hardly be lost on the keen housekeeper. She could picture her little home in her mind, but the harder she tried to call up the details the fuzzier they seemed. She'd barely been gone a fortnight but there almost seemed to be a barrier between her and the place, a feeling that was new to her. Always on her few travels away from home she'd slept sounder in an unfamiliar bed by imagining she was there. This new gap disturbed her, for she knew the reason—this time she mightn't make it back again. She tried to chase the thought from her mind but it remained, and it seemed so at odds with the inconsequential pleasantries that filled the page that she wanted to crumple it up and start again.
...
She dried the ink in the sunbeam and carefully folded the parchment to seal. Not wanting to risk making a mess on the Mirrorshade's desk she'd left the sealing wax in the chamber and she made her way back up the stairs. The door was slightly ajar and Anna heard low voices inside. She paused when she heard Safana's name mentioned. She quickly realised it was the elves, and though they spoke in their tongue she still managed to pick up on much of what was said.
"What brings on this madness? That woman is foulness personified," she heard Xan say.
"I can forgive you that slight, my lord, for you are obviously not familiar with her more…hidden charms," Coran replied in a light tone.
"And thank Corellon for that. Even if she were better tempered—you do yourself no service by immersing yourself in human women. Such relentless pursuits are…distasteful."
"Why should you say such a thing? They can be such delightful blooms. Should we never take love when we find it?"
"Love, indeed," Xan scoffed. "It is hardly a matter of love, and you know this."
"Maybe, maybe not," Coran laughed. "How would you define love?"
"You know well what I mean."
"Yes, I believe I do, and I have never understood such objections. These women are like a taste of sweet wine—only there for a moment, but worth savouring nonetheless."
"And you would gladly submit to something so ephemeral, I am certain. Perhaps that is the lure for you after all, a partnership where there is no chance of a future together? What happens when the lady grows old?"
"I have no crystal ball," Coran laughed again. "But I never allow such thoughts of the future to interrupt my enjoyment of the present. Why care for what has not happened? But in truth the world flows with wine, my friend. And there are many, many drops to flow over the tongue, yes?"
Xan sighed and made a reply that Anna didn't hear. She moved silently away from the door, thinking she'd heard more than enough of that conversation. So Coran told Xan about his relationship? Xan had never seemed much pleased by his flirtatious nature, and knowing his other biases his thoughts didn't truly surprise her. Thinking of Coran's words though gave her a kind of queer, almost angry feeling in her stomach. Women, at least her kind of woman were toys to him. He could pick them up or toss them aside like a doll, they were nothing beyond what pleasure they could bring. She'd often been angered by Xan's opinions on humans but now she thought he was at least honest. Better a haughty consistency than a false smile and indifferent heart.
...
Hurrying down the spiral staircase she nearly bumped into Finn.
"Oop!" he laughed, though Anna thought his eyes looked serious as he caught her up in a kiss. Her parchment crumpled slightly as she pressed her hands against his shoulders.
"I was looking for you," he said. "We're moving out tomorrow."
Anna's heart flopped a little at the news.
"Oh. Khalid and Jaheira spoke with them?"
"Yeah. I guess the big kids say it's alright, so we're going. Xzar swears that his camp is a day's march out of here, so we'll head out first thing."
"Well, then," Anna said quietly.
"Are you okay?"
"I think so. What about you?"
"I don't know. It doesn't seem real, does it? Although that wizard still never said what Tazok wanted me for. If I can't find that out…"
"You will. Someone must know, if not Tazok then one of his lieutenants."
"Maybe. One thing I've learned is it's amazing how ignorant people tend to be with details. Although if I can't find out from them, you can bet I'll be making that wizard squeal," he said grimly.
"What are you doing now?" Anna asked, realising that Finn had taken her arm and was leading her back up the stairs.
"They've got a barn set up for practice, thought I'd put a few rounds in to get my mind off things. I want to change first, though. What about you? Want to spar a little?"
He grinned at her and Anna shook her head, thinking she'd probably be knocked around soon enough without going out of her way.
"Not now. I've—got to find a messenger for this letter," she said. At least she had an excuse to get back into the room.
...
The elves looked up in surprise as the door opened.
"What are you, just hanging around in the dark?" Finn said jokingly.
"'Tisn't dark to our eyes, my good human," Coran replied blithely.
"Right, right."
Anna busied herself with lighting a taper, glad for a reason to keep her back to the elves though her guilt at eavesdropping was balanced by her irritation at the conversation.
"We're going after Tazok tomorrow," Finn announced, relating the details.
Xan let out a long sigh but Coran was oddly silent, and Anna turned around. He'd been reclined casually on a bed but suddenly became animated.
"So our glorious battle is at hand? Very well. I should visit that rather rotund fletcher-fellow and see if I can't purchase more arrows. Pardon me, friends."
He lit up from the bed and swooped out the door in a smooth motion.
"What numbers are we expecting to face?" Xan asked Finn.
"Xzar wasn't exactly clear on that," he replied. "I don't think it'll be more than what we took out at the lighthouse, though. The bandits seem to split themselves up to keep from calling too much attention to their hideouts."
"That is hardly comforting. The creatures at the lighthouse were largely an undisciplined group of thugs, but it's certain that Tazok will have surrounded himself with the finest protection he has. How can we even know this mad wizard knows what he's talking about?"
"I thought you were up for this?" Finn said.
"I agreed they were our best chance of finding the ogre, but that is far from being 'up for it'."
"I know what you mean. I wouldn't trust that wizard to find ugly on an orc's backside but that little freak seems pretty keen, I hate to admit. I don't think he'd be willing to risk his neck unless we had a chance."
"You are likely right," Xan sighed.
Anna finished sealing her letter and turned around in time to see Finn slipping an old tunic over his strong shoulders. She'd often seen him in varying states of undress but she still pinked a little at the knowing grin he gave her when he noticed her less-than-subtle look. She lowered her eyes to her letter but an answering smile crept out the corners of her mouth just the same.
"You don't want to spar, but do you want to come watch?" Finn said to her, a pleased look on his face.
"We should coordinate our spells," Xan said before she could reply. "I have an uncomfortable feeling that strategy will be more important than ever tomorrow."
The enchanter fixed her with a rather hard glare. It startled her and she wondered if he knew she'd been listening in on their conversation.
"True…" Anna hesitated. He was right but some defiant little voice inside wanted to spend more time with Finn, despite their mission.
"Aw, come on. For a little while. It's early yet," Finn said.
"I need to leave my letter with Bentley, anyway," Anna said. "A little while won't hurt—I can pick up some…pointers. I'll be back soon."
She hurried after Finn, trying to ignore Xan's look. She knew she shouldn't be slack but the idea of being shut in the airless room, trying to memorise spells while pouring over what might happen tomorrow made her feel slightly ill. An hour or so away would improve her concentration.
...
The practice barn was a low, fairly narrow stone structure that the Mirrorshades had set up for the inn guards, but any patron who paid a fee could use it. With their weapons at the guardhouse Finn made his way to a rack of wooden practice swords and tried a couple before he found one that seemed to suit his hands.
"You sure I can't convince you to play?" he laughed, his eyes getting that look which told Anna she'd be on her back in less than a minute if she took up his offer.
"No thanks," she smiled.
"Then why have you come?" Jaheira's voice said.
Anna jumped a little as the druid approached the pair, wiping sweat and some stray wisps of honey-brown hair off her brow.
"I, ah—" Anna stumbled. "I was just talking to Finn."
"I see. This is not a place for a chat, though. If you are not looking to practice I would suggest that you find something else to occupy your time. Shouldn't you be memorising your spells? Finn has told you of tomorrow, hasn't he?"
"Yes," Anna said, looking down. "But I believe I will practice."
"If you wish, then," Jaheira sighed. "Khalid is working with the dummies, Finn, if you care to join him. Anna, come with me."
Anna threw a glance at Finn who shrugged sympathetically and went to find Khalid. Quietly Anna selected a staff from the wall, wishing now that she'd stayed in the room.
The druid hopped onto a log that had been half-buried in the dirt and reluctantly Anna stepped up onto the other side.
"Let me see your stance," Jaheira said.
Anna set her left foot forward and held the staff before her at an angle; the practice staff was heavier and longer than her own enchanted stave though and she fidgeted trying to find her footing.
"Balance, Anna—be aware of your centre."
"I know, it's just this is heavy," she muttered.
"It may not be ideal, but you must make the most of the weapons at hand. What if you lost your staff on the battlefield and had to pick up an enemy's arms?"
"I'd hope to use my spells," Anna replied, moving the wood under her fingers. "I'm a mage after all, not a fighter."
"And yet you're here, with no spellbook in sight," Jaheira said. Anna glanced at her and saw a spark in her eyes. "I've seen many wizards fall because they were too trusting in magic. You know well you may not have a chance to cast a spell before an enemy strikes, you must be prepared to defend yourself physically. Ready?"
"Yes."
...
Anna swept the low end of her staff up at Jaheira's head, the druid easily blocking the blow with her shield. She lowered a strike with her club but Anna just managed to drive it out of the way, wincing as the wood hit her staff inches from her fingers. She gritted her teeth and swung the heavy wood in the opposite direction, trying to catch Jaheira in the other temple. The druid ducked out of the way causing Anna to lose her footing and she wobbled on the log. Anna saw a swift blur then felt the club tap lightly on the side of her head.
"Balance," Jaheira said again.
"Who can balance with this?" Anna muttered, her face red. The pole was over two feet longer than her own and the wood thick in her hands.
"It is perfectly balanced, I tried it earlier," Jaheira said dryly. "Again."
Anna tried different attacks but none made a solid blow, and she found herself being pushed further and further back on the log.
"You are just defending, not attacking," Jaheira said finally. "Your opponents aren't likely to just give up. You need to attack."
Anna breathed heavily leaning on her staff, regretting more and more not attending to her spells. She could hardly expect to defeat Jaheira or anyone else with muscle and experience—holding them off until she could cast a spell or someone could come to her aid was her only real option.
The druid called for her to fight again but Anna shook her head.
"I don't want to get…too tired," she said.
"Perhaps not," Jaheira replied. "We need to start developing your strength, though. I think some exercises will be in order. Log-lifts will be useful. And stone-throwing, I believe, too."
Anna looked wearily at the druid who stood straight despite the activity, her defined arms akimbo like a schoolmistress considering a punishment for a wayward pupil.
"Can it wait?" Anna puffed. "I think I might be…busy tomorrow."
Unexpectedly Jaheira's eyes crinkled up and a smile crept out.
"Aye, it will keep. I might be busy, myself."
Anna laughed a little and smiled back. She bade Jaheira farewell and hung up her staff, then went over to where Finn and Khalid still practiced. Finn was engaged in attack with a straw-filled dummy, his heavy blows sending its poor limp arms and legs swinging mercilessly. Despite the inanimate opponent his face was set and focused, and Anna shuddered a bit thinking of ever having that expression turned towards her.
Watching him move she thought again that he seemed a natural fighter, or as much as there could be such a thing. She found a strange bit of pride in that and the thought made her lower her eyes. She wondered if his skill was a developed trait or an instinct that made him want to abandon magic for the sword. Likely both, she thought as she watched the sackcloth finally surrender to his wooden blade, sending straw and one stuffed arm flinging to the floor. Undeterred by his opponent's terrible injury Finn readjusted his grip and delivered another blow.
Her eyes wandered over to Khalid who faced a straw man of his own. Although he lacked Finn's size and strength he was quick and ably landed a series of blows against the cloth. His fighting style was different to Finn's, Anna noticed, though whether it was an elvish method or a product of his southern heritage she couldn't say.
Khalid wasn't especially bold in life but just as his stutter hid a clever mind his nervousness disguised his talents as a fighter, and in the heat of battle she'd seen him not hesitate to dash into the thick to aid a comrade in danger. He'd saved her own life more than once. Now he gazed at the dummy with that strength of necessity, that instinct that told him to help, no matter what. Anna wondered before how Khalid and Jaheira ended up together with their obvious personality differences; now she considered that seeing him fight probably went far in explaining the attraction. He seemed to shed his fears and turned into a man of confidence and grace.
...
She threw off her reveries though and went out into the courtyard, heading for the well. She winched up the bucket and while she drank greedily a voice surprised her.
"You seem rather sweaty. I hope you've been doing something worthwhile to earn it, hm?"
Anna wiped her chin and turned to see Safana come and casually lean up against the stone well.
"Just getting some sparring practice in," Anna breathed, her throat numb from the water.
"I would not call that worthwhile," the thief replied, peering down into the darkness. She was quiet a moment.
"Tell me…do you believe in wishing wells?"
"What?"
"If I were to toss in a coin, would I get my wish."
Anna looked at Safana, puzzled by the odd question that seemed delivered in all seriousness.
"I suppose it depends on your wish," Anna replied.
"Yes…" she said thoughtfully, still looking into the depths. She laughed a little though. "I must be getting older. It never occurred to me before to waste coin in such a foolish manner. Superstitions are strange things, don't you think? They rule our infantile lives, then we leave them behind as we grow, thinking ourselves too wise for children's games…only for them to return, stronger than ever. Why is that, I wonder?"
"I don't know," Anna considered. "Perhaps we see the sands running through the glass, and desire to play tricks with the gods? Or perhaps we realise how little control we have sometimes over our own lives, and make our little appeals to fate?"
"Both, I think," Safana replied.
"Are you alright?" Anna asked.
"Always, dear one."
She raised a practiced smile but her eyes stayed the same. She chuckled again, though.
"Do you know today is my birthday?"
"Is it? Well, happy birthday!" Anna said, surprised. "Why didn't you mention it?"
"It is not really the time nor the place for a party," Safana said. "Besides, I am not really at an age where a lady likes to call attention to the fact that she is getting older."
"Twenty-five?" Anna said archly.
"No," the thief replied, a real smile creeping over her face. "Twenty-six."
Anna nodded, trying to restrain a smile. The two women stood in silence again.
"Ah, well," Safana said. "I can spare the coin."
She flipped a gold piece from her fingers, watching it spin glittering down into the depths.
"What did you wish for?" Anna asked.
"Now, you know I cannot tell you or it won't come true."
"Of course," Anna said with a laugh. "Perhaps I should make a wish, even if it isn't my birthday."
"By all means," Safana offered generously. "Though may I make a suggestion?"
"Yes," she said hesitantly.
"Put in a coin, and pray that you are not relying on wishing wells when you are twenty-six."
Anna looked at her. The mirth had vanished from the thief's face. She glanced once more into the well, then sauntered away without another word.
...
Anna's hands felt her robe pockets but she had no coin. The strain of the upcoming battle must be affecting everyone, she thought watching Safana departing. Letting out a little sigh she headed back into the keep, more than ready to discuss the finer points of conjuration and alteration.
Xan's mood hadn't much improved and his tone of voice led Anna to feel for certain that he knew she'd been eavesdropping. Neither mentioned the incident though and the elf eventually mellowed, slipping back into that bubble which seemed to surround him whenever he studied magic. Anna tried to study faithfully and followed his example the best she could, focusing on the magic as much as possible. Several candles burned away before she finally drew her book shut with a sigh and went to find a supper for her empty stomach.
She joined the group at table and they all sat eating and drinking in relative silence. Jaheira had her head bent over a chart, paying little attention to her meal. Khalid kept staring off into space. Imoen engaged in bursts of slightly desperate-sounding conversation then fell quiet once again. Safana seemed sulky. Coran had an even freer hand than usual with the wine and he was the only one who might be considered jolly. But looking at him Anna noticed a strange, almost worried look in his eyes that she hadn't seen before. He saw her regarding him and flashed a brilliant smile, but the look remained.
...
After they'd eaten Finn quietly asked Anna up to the roof. None of the others seemed to take an interest in the fact that they went off together; if Imoen knew, then the others likely did as well, Anna considered ruefully.
The lights still decorated the sky though they were fading. They sat down together on the wooden roof. For a summer night the air felt cool with only the linen fabric of her shift over her arms and Anna shivered a little, wishing she'd brought her cloak.
"Chilly?" Finn asked, taking up one of her hands.
"A little."
"Well, you know what they say—cold hands…"
"Need gloves?" Anna laughed.
"Something like that," he chuckled. "Here, why don't you lean against me?"
Reluctantly she let him get behind her and he wrapped his arms around her body, resting them on his raised knees. It was a close embrace but leaning back onto his chest she admitted it felt warm and comfortable. He brushed her ear with a kiss but they were silent for some time, watching the curtains of light flowing.
"So…tomorrow," Anna said finally.
"Yeah," Finn said. "You know…you don't have to come. You could wait here."
"Why would you say that?" Anna asked, craning her neck to look at him.
"Well, it's going to be pretty dangerous, right?"
"Are you scared?" Anna asked quietly.
"Aye," he replied, giving her a squeeze. "There's not much else for it, though, is there?"
"No."
They were silent again.
"It's funny though—I'm more worried about the others, like Imoen and you," Finn continued. "I know I'm just as likely to end up dead as anyone, but I can't really think of that. You picture all the bad that could happen, but…I don't know. I never see myself dying. I guess that just means I'm an egotistical tit, eh?"
He chuckled slightly and Anna laughed.
"I suppose so," she said, laughing again as he nipped at her ear. "But I feel the same. I suppose we always think of ourselves as immortal, don't we?"
"Maybe. Gods, listen to me—I've got a pretty girl alone on a rooftop and I'm talking about death," he laughed again. "I think our Xan's starting to rub off on me."
"Perish the thought," Anna snickered. "What shall we talk about, then?"
"Hmm…"
Anna smiled into the darkness as his lips began caressing her neck. She twisted around to face him and for awhile enjoyed the warmth of his kisses. She slipped her fingers through Finn's hair and down his back, feeling her own warmth rising. His hands drifted up her bodice but when he began tugging at her lace-strings she gently pulled them away.
"Why not?" he murmured.
"Don't you think it's a bit soon?" she whispered back.
"Soon for what?"
"You know…" Anna muttered, her face growing hot.
"Ah. Well, I wasn't going there, but now that you mention it…"
He slipped a hand down and gingerly pulled up her dress. Anna squeaked and brushed his hands off and Finn laughed good-naturedly.
"Can't blame a fellow for trying."
"I ought to slap you," Anna said lightly.
"Your shift's pretty far down your shoulders, my good lady virtue," Finn chuckled back, Anna tweaking his nose in reply.
Finn laid her down on the roof and kissed her again, but after a moment broke off.
"You have, haven't you?"
"What?"
"You know…"
"That's a bit forward," Anna stammered.
Finn looked at her and she felt the foolishness of her answer just as she felt his hand sliding down her waist.
"Sorry," he said dryly. "I was just curious. You do like me, don't you?"
"Yes," Anna stumbling again over the silliness of the question.
"Good. It's hard to tell sometimes," Finn said quietly.
"Is it?" Anna asked, but Finn just kissed her neck. She sighed and wrapped her fingers in his hair, looking up at the stars, but one word kept repeating in her mind.
Tomorrow.
...
'Where have you been?'
'Nowhere.'