A/N: There are two memory/dream sequences in this chapter, just to give you a heads up/avoid confusion.

My Life Had Stood

Chapter 38: No Lid Has Memory

-1993-

"Addie, what happened? Why are you so pale?" Andrew Kendall approached the girl trembling just a few feet from him. His eyebrow rose in concern as she shivered and remained kneeling beside an old well. The same well that a local child had fallen down just the year prior. "What's that well doing uncovered?"

"..." Alsie trembled, turning her face toward the man. Andrew could hardly describe the terror in that small face, or the round brown eyes flooded with tears. "I...I fell...I can't...I couldn't...Allie..."

"Are you all right?" The man hurried forward, his heart thumping in his chest. His first instinct was to try to help the girl up, but despite his help she didn't seem able to stand. "It'll be okay. I'll carry you back to Mary's."

Alsie shook her head, barely able to speak. The only thing Andrew was able to make out clearly were the words 'I'm sorry' repeated over and over. The girl refused his help, and tried to push herself away from his helping arms, only to fall back to the ground.

"Allie...Allie..." Alsie gasped, her wet cheeks gleaming beneath the sun-rays peeking through the forest trees. Her brown eyes met Andrew's, imploring the man silently, then shifting toward the well.

"Adrienne?" Andrew mumbled slowly, his gut roiling as the meaning of the girl's gesture dawned on him. He leaned over the well and looked down. "Oh god!" He cried out, his eyes widening at the young girl sprawled out at the bottom. "Is that Mary's Allie?"

Alsie's breath quickened, her body trembling. "I...I...I'm sorry...I didn't...Allie wanted...I couldn't hold her...I..." She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself clumsily. Her arms were like her legs - unable to move properly. "My balance...I...I fell...I couldn't..."

Andrew gaped at the slightly older girl, at first not believing what he saw nor what she said. It wasn't until she talked about losing her balance that it clicked. He suddenly understood, everything.

"It isn't your fault." He assured the distraught girl, picking her up. She struggled against his help though, albeit very weakly. Not that it meant she wasn't trying her hardest. She was. He paled as he realized how weak and uncoordinated the girl's movements were. His eyes flitted to the scarred right side of Alsie's face. "This isn't your fault. Let's get you home so I can get some help for Allie. All right, Addie?"

Alsie nodded slightly, and tried to wrap her arms around the man's neck to help hold herself steady. Her arms shook, refusing to cooperate with her brain. She sobbed, once more repeating the words 'I'm sorry.'

She continued to cry and apologize all the way back to Mary Schmidt's house. Not once even attempting to shift blame on the other girl, despite Allie having jumped unexpectedly on her back. An action that'd caused her to lose her balance when the younger girl's arm collided with her right temple.

x

Alsie opened her eyes abruptly, her skin pale as she lingered on the memory. Her red-rimmed eyes glanced at the wall clock, noting the early hour. Hospital visiting hours wouldn't start for another three hours.

"Allie..." Alsie mumbled, along with an apology. Her chest and eyes burned, as did her scarred temple. Her lips trembled as she attempted to sit up, her eyes widening when she noticed how unstable her movement seemed. 'No...'

She swallowed, trying to calm herself. The weakness of her limbs and sense of vertigo couldn't be real - she hadn't had a problem with either since her fifteenth birthday, eighteen years ago. It couldn't...

She closed her eyes, trying to chase away the memory, and with it the psychosomatic effects it had on her.

It didn't help that the hospital seemed eerily silent, at least this floor. It allowed her brain to run rampant with memories and facts, many which she wished she could forget. But still quite a few she wished she could remember.

What happened between her and Shelly being one of the latter.

"...Jemma..." Alsie mumbled and wrapped her arms around herself, focusing her thoughts away from Shelly and onto her daughter. Her eyes felt sore, though physically her tears had dried up, completed depleted after the copious amount she shed the night before. 'I'm sorry...I haven't looked for you...I didn't...'

Alsie shivered, her eyebrows oblique. She wiped her eyes, a few salty drops welling up and falling down her cheeks.

'How could I do the same thing as her?' She whispered to herself, her voice quiet enough as to be inaudible. Her lips trembled, and she delved into thoughts that she wished she could ignore. That she wished she could dismiss forever. 'As either of them?'

"Umm..." The unexpected sound of someone breathing rhythmically across the room drew her attention. Her round, burnt umber eyes grew gentler as she noticed Spencer sleeping peacefully in a chair against the far wall.

A smile tugged at her lips.

'I told you to go home.' She mentally chided him, recalling how she had insisted he go home to rest, same as the rest of his team. He had agreed to do so, after she managed to calm down after hearing about her daughter, Jemma. She smiled poignantly at Spencer, feeling less alone from his presence. '...I'm sorry...'

She whispered softly to the sleeping agent, her voice too low and distant for him to hear.

0

-1990-

He shivered, standing alarmed in the hallway. Everything was dark and imposing, except for the light peeking out from the bottom gap of his parents' bedroom door. He chewed on his inner cheek, about to call out to his mom or dad, but he froze.

It was muffled by the door, but he could hear his parents' voices. His mom's was high-strung and insistent, while his dad's was less audible and incredulous.

"Im...Impossible. You have to have been mistaken...that just can't...no."

"I know what I saw, William. I know...god...why won't you believe..." His mom pleaded, he could hear her pacing and becoming more agitated with each step. "I saw her...she looks so much like her brother...I..."

"Diana, I..." His dad hesitated, the man's voice remaining steady. Though it didn't sound quite right, there was a tinge of pain in his voice, not anger. It didn't sound like a normal argument.

He tiptoed closer to his parents' door, making sure to avoid the part of the floor that creaked when stepped on. He pressed his ear against the door, wanting to understand what was wrong. Why his parents were arguing, and so late at night.

"It just isn't possible. She died when they were babies. Just a few hours..." His dad faltered, taking in a deep breath and worrying him more. He'd never heard his father make such a sound, like how one's breath would catch from crying.

"I'm not crazy. I know what I saw." His mom repeated, her tone harsh and defensive. "Spencer saw her too. They were playing together."

"Diana..."

"If you were there, and saw them together, you'd know. I'm not crazy." His mother stopped pacing and took a deep breath, before suddenly sobbing. "It was her...it had to be...they look so much alike. So alike."

He chewed his lip, confused. He realized his mom had to be referring to the girl from the park, but he didn't understand why she'd be upset. Or his father. He grimaced, recalling the girl and the woman who'd dragged her away.

He must have made a noise or perhaps breathed too loudly, since the next second the door swung open. Having been pressed closely against the door, he fell into the room as it swung open into the bedroom.

"Spencer, what are you doing? You're supposed to be in bed, asleep."

He climbed to his feet and looked up at his parents, tentative. He started to ask why they'd been arguing only to be interrupted by Diana saying he should go back to bed. Before he could protest, she picked him up and carried him back to his room.

x

Thump!

Spencer awoke suddenly, his heart pounding. He quickly realized that the falling sound in his dream had actually occurred outside of it. His eyes widened, taking a moment to adjust to the low lighting.

"Alsie!" He gasped after scanning the room and noticing that she wasn't in her bed. His stomach knotted as he noticed that the light was on in the room's adjoining bathroom. He quickly hurried over, opening the door without hesitating.

"...Spencer, I..." Alsie mumbled, pressed against the wall of the bathroom. A large swollen bruise already forming on her wrist from where it'd hit the sink edge as she stumbled.

"Are you all right?!" Spencer took in the scene, his eyes wide with worry. They widened even more as Alsie tried to lift herself up but failed, not making it even an inch from the floor. He quickly hurried to call a nurse, despite Alsie shaking her head and mumbling not to.

"...ther...I...please. I'm all right...I..." Alsie mumbled, her eyes searching the taller brunet's face. It was obvious by the way her eyes were glazed that something wasn't right. "Don't worry...I'm all right...I'm fine...ss...ist...is fine..."

"Shh...it's all right. Just relax." Spencer held her wrist gently, trying to soothe the woman. He remained like that, holding her unwounded wrist, even as the nurses came in to help bring her back to the bed.

He refused to leave her side or let go of her hand. Though he made sure not to hinder the medical personnel in checking or bandaging Alsie's wounds.

The whole time Alsie continued to mumble that she was fine, though becoming confused when she referred to Spencer. Becoming increasingly concerned, he insisted that the brunette be sent for a CAT scan. Anything to make sure she hadn't hit her head.

'Alsie...' He gazed after her when he was finally pushed aside by medical personnel, who insisted he wait in the waiting area.

"But I'm..." He'd started to say, but faltered his brow furrowing as he recalled his dream. Though dream wasn't exactly correct, rather it was a memory. One he had blocked out after his father had left. 'What...?'

He mulled over the memory, running through the argument he'd overheard his parents having. Now that it was no longer blocked out, he recalled each and every word.

His stomach clenched as he filtered through the dialogue. He swallowed, realizing the meaning to the partial argument he'd overheard - something that had evaded him as a child. Even now he shook his head, refusing to believe what his brain screamed at him.

"No. No." Spencer closed his eyes, wishing that that memory would vanished. Or that it'd be nothing more than a dream. It was impossible. Completely impossible. Wasn't it?

'...She looks so much like her brother...they look so much alike.'

He shook his head, even as his mother's insistent words reverberated in his head.

"No. Nope. I would know...mom would've said..." He mumbled to himself, arguing against his deduction from his memory. It didn't help that Rossi's comment from last night also echoed in his brain. Spencer took in a deep breath, finally managing to set aside the memory. He thought instead of Rossi and the rest of his team, that he should call them. Especially Rossi.

0

End of Chapter: Reviews and thoughts are greatly appreciated.