CHAPTER 37
Potential news about the outcome of today's activities at Heartland Ranch was torture to the co-conspirator. Lisa had hinted, bartered, and finally begged Jack into coming back from her fancier and safely distant accommodations at Fairfield Stables to join in on the unusual dinner Lou had planned when she learned that Sammy and her mother would be staying over. Bringing a fresh homemade broccoli casserole and two fruit pies to contribute to the larger than expected gathering, longtime friend and now step grandmother of the struggling prodigal daughter of the family was stricken with curiosity as to how Amy and Charlie had managed their day together. The temptation to observe the two of them in the same room after spending several hours on horseback was too much to resist even though her stalwart husband had been reluctant to get caught up in the crossfire of the potential disaster that he was betting on.
It was a busy dinnertime around a full table with plenty to talk about by the family and guests surrounding it. Charlie entertained everyone with shining eyes aimed toward her new riding buddy, amused in telling them all about Amy's apparent inability to resist a dare, and the young girls who had been in jeopardy of falling face first in their plates giggled one last time from using every last ounce of their six year old energy too early in the day to make it to the end with anything left of it.
"It sounds like you had an absolutely wonderful day. These girls will never forget this trail ride, as will neither of you from the sound of things," Lisa smiled, overjoyed with the apparent success of the secret mission she had been helping to arrange behind the scenes.
While Lou sealed the last slices of pie into Tupperware containers and the others were clearing the table, Jack declared the evening cleaning duties officially over, "That's good for now, everybody. Let's head on into the living room and have some after dinner coffee or tea and relax a bit, but first somebody had better get these two into bed or else we will have to let them sleep right here at the table," he smiled at Katie and Sammy who were tiredly slumped over in their chairs and dead to the foot traffic around them.
"I will take care of them, Lou," Charlie offered. "But while I have the chance, I would like to thank all of you for the wonderful day here at Heartland for Sammy and me. Lisa, it has been nice to see you and Jack. Thanks for the awesome casserole and pies! Lou, you know how to make your guests feel welcome. This was a lovely dinner. And Amy, I can't thank you enough for taking such good care of us today. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to do this, but today was perfect and we will always be grateful to you."
Lou and Lisa shared a gratified smile as Jack nearly choked in disbelief when the renovated trail boss stepped toward Charlie, hugged her like an old friend, and said, "We all made this day special, for all of us. Thank you for allowing me to share it with you."
"C'mon Brat! Let's get you two to bed!" Charlie put her arms around the slumbering six year old and at her limit of strength, lifted the limp child her out of the chair.
"I've got Katie, we are right behind you," Amy said as she scooped the out-cold niece from her chair, also feeling the challenge in picking up forty pounds of limber youngster.
Lisa watched the women take the children down the hall to their bedroom and then gathered Lou up in a victorious hug, "We did good!" she said low enough that only the three of them could hear.
"What have you two been up to?" the wise and experienced older man asked. "Somehow I get the feeling that this day had a set of jumper cables hooked to it to help get it started."
"I'll tell you about it on the way home," Lisa whispered, hinting her part of the successful plot as she beamed a mischievous smile back to her husband.
Lisa pulled Jack by his shirt sleeve through the door of the ranch house, "Everybody has had a very busy day. Let's get on home and let these girls get some rest." After giving all three women a goodbye hug, "Charlie, it has been a pleasure to have you and Sammy for dinner, and I just want to say, if there is anything Jack or I can do, just say the word, OK?"
Charlie smiled and replied, "Thank you, Lisa. I appreciate that. I will!"
Driving through the gate at the ranch entrance and headed back to Lisa's more tranquil home at Fairfield Stables, Jack could not put off another second to pry the promised confession out of his wife, "I cannot wait to hear this!"
"OK, busted…, I promise, it was what we all thought would be best. We had to try something!" she started, knowing she should feel a little guilty, but she did not feel that way, not in the least.
Jack turned to look his scheming wife in the eye, "We? How many are in this deal, whatever this deal is?" he scoffed knowing whatever had been set in motion, it was already too late to stop it.
Unapologetically filling in the missing details, Lisa began to explain, "Lou confided in me a while back that Ty had approached her about helping him figure out how to adopt Sammy, you know, when the time comes. He knew Lou had experience with the ins and outs of how the system works and he trusted her to give him the straight answers he needed."
"Hold the hell on for a just a minute! Ty wants to adopt Sammy? How is he going to manage that all by himself and still work at the clinic? And besides that, why would he think that the 'system', whoever that will involve, will ever go along with it in the first place? You know the kind of hell they put me through when I tried to adopt Georgie on my own before Lou and Peter stepped in and got it done! Ty is younger, of course, but, I don't know, Lis, you all might be stirring up another big disappointment for that boy! Did you ever think of that? So, you and Lou…, but I get the feeling there is more that you haven't told me?"
"Actually, Charlie's grandmother, Margie McCrary, wanted to meet with Lou and me in Okotoks the other day to discuss some things about Sammy. She and Lou had already been talking because Ty had asked her and Clint if they were OK with it and Lou wanted to include you and me to make sure everybody stayed on the same page, so we had lunch and talked about Ty, Charlie, Amy, and of course, Sammy."
Complicated situations frustrated the old cowboy and this unfolding plot had red flags planted all over it. "Dear Sweet Jesus! What have you women started? And beyond that, how are you planning on finishing it?"
"There are no guarantees that any of this will work, Jack, but it is a damn sure thing that if we don't try Sammy could end up in a foster home one of these days and all of us have sworn to do everything possible to make sure that does not happen! So, what do you say, are you going to help us, or not?"
"God help me, but you know I will if that's what Ty wants to do, and if everybody else involved is OK with it, including Sammy. Just promise me that you understand whenever you start messing around with someone's life like this, it could backfire on you. You had better have a plan for that too. And what's Amy got to do with it, anyway?"
The two women sat on the front porch side by side swinging their feet back and forth over the edge watching the stars twinkle in the growing darkness when Charlie spoke first, "I meant what I said at dinner about all you did for Sammy and me today. I could not have done it without your help. It meant everything to me to be able to give her a day like this. It was worth far more than anything I could have bought her. I think you are right. She will remember today for a very long time."
"It wasn't just good for you two." Amy continued to allow the unexplainable desire to lay everything out in the open with this one day acquaintance. She let loose of the things weighing her down and taking control of her reservations to share with Ty's current girlfriend the dark side of her failure to keep him for herself. "Besides Katie enjoying the day as much as the rest of us, I have to tell you, I really needed to know the woman who was able to help Ty get over the mess I made out of things between us. I heard some very frightening things about how he handled the breakup and I will never forgive myself for that, but after today I have changed my mind about a few things. For one, I am glad to see that he found someone like you to help him get back on his feet. I can see that you really care for him and have his best interest at heart. And, I can tell that Ty is crazy about you and Sammy. I don't suppose I need to warn you about how protective he is when he gets attached to someone like that, especially a kid."
"No, it didn't take long to see how much of a worry wart he is, but I'll have to give him credit, he is really great with Sammy. Those two hit it off from the first time they met and haven't looked back since. I am thankful for him to be able to help me out with keeping her busy and thinking about happier things right now. I just wish I wouldn't have to be the next one to break his heart."
Understanding the referral, "Some things cannot be helped. It is good that he is able to take care of Sammy like he obviously can do," Amy said. "I always had my idea of how he would be awesome with kids someday and he has proven to be that much and more. It is good that he has found someone to care so much about, especially after I hurt him like I did. He deserves a lot better than what he got from me."
Amy, you do understand that circumstances played as much a part of what happened between you and Ty as anything else, right? The way I see it, the whole thing was like a perfect storm. Ty told me about buying that horse, Charger, and he realizes that putting his life savings at risk without telling you was a mistake. He gets it, how it shook your confidence in his being a reliable partner and that if he would do something that stupid, how could you really trust him as a husband?"
"But he was right, Charlie. Charger was a special horse. Everyone else had given up on being able to work with him, but not Ty. He could see something in that horse that he would not give up on. I understand his need to do it because I have been guilty of the same thing several times myself. In the end, it payed off, bigtime! He showed us all what he knew all along." Amy remembered the one-hundred thousand prize money Ty, Caleb, and she had gotten to split after upsetting the field of top notch competitors at the Hudson Barrel Racing Futurity.
"He still gives you all the credit for winning that day, you know."
It surprised Amy to think her ex would give her credit for anything after the way they had failed so miserably at being a team in the end. She watched her boots swinging under the edge of the porch trying not to let the memories of her biggest failure bring her down from the high of today's successful trail ride with new friends. "Well, I proved him wrong with practically everything else that happened after that day. I made the mistake of thinking I could have the career I had always dreamed about and keep our dreams alive here at home too."
"But, wow, Amy, not many girls have the storybooks they read as children to open up so they can walk right into a fairytale and live it for real. It must have been an amazing experience to be invited onto the prince's team and have all that attention and success so soon working with some of the best bred horses in the world! I can see why things changed for you. They would have for anybody, I think, under those circumstances."
"Things changed, alright. I've heard it said that sometimes life is like a new pair of boots, the fancier they get, the more uncomfortable they become, and that's exactly how it was for me. I felt like I was outside my body watching someone else going through the motions. Everything kept moving faster and faster and the more crazy things got, the more I just wanted to slow down and catch up with myself. But there was never time for that, always something that needed to be done, or someone I had to meet, or somewhere I had to go. I saw some of the most beautiful places in Europe, ate at the nicest restaurants, stayed at the finest hotels, and met all the best known horsemen and women in the world, but the farther I got drawn into all of it, the more I realized that none of it meant anything without the people I loved being there to experience it with me, and I wanted to come home. That is when I decided I had to come home and try to set things right with Ty, but we know how that turned out, don't we?"
Amy braced herself for whatever was coming next, but it surprised her again when Charlie said, "Yes, we know what happened then, but what is done, is done. All any of us can do is to make the best we can out of every day we are given and take care of the people who matter to us. So, tell me about the time you spent after the surgery. Sounds like you made a lot of progress with Lisa and Jack in France and were very lucky to have met some good people in Spain."
"Grandpa and Lisa saved my life by coming to Europe and finding me. If not for her connection with the Alberto San Nicolas and his family I would either be a sex slave somewhere in a third world country, or dead."
"Did you never feel threatened or feel like something wasn't right with that guy, Ahmed?"
"Not really threatened, just, managed is the best way I can describe it. He always had to have the last word and control my every move. I was never anywhere just because I wanted to be, it was always at his request or suggestion, or insistence. Of course, I knew nothing of Europe or the lifestyle they lived and I went along with him as my employer and someone I thought of as knowledgeable in the way things worked on a higher level than I was used to dealing with. He knew all the right people and all the best places, all the connections to make things happen, and I got lost in thinking he would take care of me and not let anything bad happen to me."
"It is starting to sound like your situation borders on the Stockholm Syndrome. He knew how to take everything important away from you and eventually, to make you solely dependent upon him."
"That is exactly the same thing the counselor Lisa had me talk with in France said. He told me that it was Ahmed's intention from the start to take away my identity and create a new one with him as the savior and master of my new existence. Nothing of my old life was left, my engagement to Ty was over, my relationship with my family was ruined, and I didn't even have any of my clothes from home. When he came for me here at the ranch that day, I went from slapping him backwards before I said a word to him to arguing against Lou who was right there beside me arguing against him. Before the argument was over he had Lou and me at each other's throats and me leaving with him on the spur of the moment with nothing more than the clothes on my back. He had me believing I had lost everything, including my self-respect, and that he was the one who could get it back for me."
"He had it planned from the time he brought you that saddle," the well clued in listener offered. "That was when he set everything in motion."
"Ty must have told you about that. 'Miracle Girl'. That's what he had engraved on the silver plaque. It was the most generous gift anyone had ever given me and it touched me to think he appreciated what I had been able to do to help his father's horse."
Ty didn't say anything about that?"
"He would never tell me so, but I knew Ty didn't like it and was probably a little jealous over it, but nothing was ever said so I assumed he had gotten over it."
Charlie agreed, "Yeah, he is a tight lipped one, alright. He would be so much better off if he would just let it fly sometimes, you know? Just get pissed off and get it out there and talk about it."
"But he won't do that!" The frustration still rising to the surface when she tried to describe the man she helped come so far, but lost. "He has always chosen to run away when he felt like something threatened him because he had already had to fight for one reason or another practically every day when he was growing up. That landed him in juvy and headed for a locked cell if it hadn't been for a last chance juvy officer named Clint Riley and my mom working out a deal to bring him here to try working off his probation. I think he started believing the trouble was always his fault because of inheriting some 'bad gene' from his parents and he was destined for the same fate as them. He kept trying to protect me from the guy he thought he might become, in his mind anyway, so we kept having this thing about him leaving me instead of fighting with me, or for me, when we had our disagreements. I never could get past that with him. Ahmed used that very thing to start the trouble that eventually came to a head and ended our relationship."
"I think he has come to understand that, Amy," Charlie reasoned. "Since I have had to slow down so much, we spend a lot of time talking. Can't do much else. I am not as patient as you, so when he started going on about that 'bad gene' thing I ripped him a new asshole right off the bat and told him how stupid it is to have such an idea. It hurt his feelings at first, but I've toughened him up quite a bit. Had to if he was going to be able to keep up with me, or at least, who I used to be."
Amy tried to imagine the verbal assault Charlie must have given to Ty. She knew she had attempted to do the same thing herself, but somehow her emotions would not allow her to stay after him when she had him going, opting instead to get angry and quit before the job was finished. Apparently Charlie had the guts to ride out the confrontations until she got what she wanted, or the gritty cowgirl simply a had knack for fighting. Either way, good for her! And, maybe, good for Ty as well. "I hope you are right, Charlie. If he could ever get past that one demon that has always caused him to lack the confidence he should have, I don't see how anything could ever hold him back from whatever he tries to do."
"Enough about Ty, for now. How is your memory? You said that you can't remember some of the things after you went back to Europe?"
"I can't remember much of anything after arriving in Spain until after the surgery. I do remember getting to France and wondering when Ahmed intended to get me back to the team because it was taking much longer than I thought it should have. I sometimes get these little flashbacks, I guess you would call them, but they don't make much sense because I don't know when they happened. They are little pieces of something that must be part of a bigger story, but I don't have any way of fitting them in where they belong."
"I'll bet you were terrified when you woke up in that hospital and didn't know why you were there."
"Yes, I was. The worst thing was that right away I knew something wasn't right. I asked for Ty because he had always been there when something bad had happened to me, and this time, he wasn't. As far as I could remember, we were still together. It took a lot out of me to come to terms with the things Lisa and Gabby San Nicholas told me about all that had happened. It was like losing him all over again. I could barely function. Lisa or one of the nurses had to help feed me or help me into the bathroom because I couldn't walk. I had begun to think that I would live the rest of my life in a wheel chair until I started to get the feeling back in my feet. I had to work my ass off to even be able to get out of the chair, let alone walk on my own. The therapist was a certified sonofabitch, but because of him I managed to be able to walk pretty quickly. I still have trouble with my balance and I couldn't walk from here to the Dude Ranch to save my life, but I am so much better off than when I went back to France with Grandpa and Lisa that I can't complain at all."
"So, how far did things go with the prince after you got to France?" Charlie asked, testing how far Amy was willing to go in sharing the most disorienting time in her life. "I'll bet that is when he pulled out all the stops to try and impress you."
Amy was hesitant at first, but talking to someone outside her immediate family, not on the clock for psychiatric or medical evaluation, but someone who seemed to have a real interest in her story and for the strangest reason, someone she could trust, had opened her up to sharing things she had not told anyone up to this point after the incident in Barcelona.
"That's what he did, alright. He made sure I knew he was the only way forward for me, and whatever I dared to dream of, he would provide it. He was kind and caring, always attentive to my needs. He knew I had failed in my attempt to come back home and kept reminding me that nothing was left for me here, so from then on, everything was about the future and all the wonderful things we were going to do together."
Not believing she was saying the words as she spoke, Amy recalled aloud the incident in the cave with Ahmed making the first bold move toward total takeover of her mind, body, and spirit, and the reason Ty received the package which eventually was the final nail in the coffin for their relationship. Although she would not go into detail, she confided in the attentive listener about later going out with the prince and having enough wine to make it possible for her to go the next step with Ahmed, a step she vehemently regretted. "That is the night I learned the difference between being made love to and being taken advantage of. I can't say any more about that, for obvious reasons."
"Why not, Amy? If you think you are saving me from facing the feelings you shared with Ty you should know that I am way beyond all of that. I don't have to worry about kidding myself with fantasies or what ifs. There are enough other things to be concerned with now. It isn't like I don't know how he felt about you, and you about him. I can still see it in you, and him too, in fact. It's like it would be the kiss of death if you even look at each other. It isn't because you don't have feelings for each other anymore, Amy, it is because you were both so affected by what happened that the fear of having to feel that much hurt again scares the hell out of both of you."
"There are some things that can never be undone, Charlie. We did love each other, very much, but we hurt each other even more. He is never going to believe me when I tell him that I was faithful to him before I came back to try and start over. I don't believe I could forgive him if the situation were reversed. When someone puts proof like that right in your hands what else are you going to think? Ahmed made sure to kill any chance we ever had at making a go of it right then and there." Starting to realize that the questioning had been turned into more of a therapy session, "Why are we talking about me and Ty? That isn't what today was about, right? We should just remember the day you gave to Sammy and be grateful that it went as well as it did."
Charlie nodded in agreement, "All in all, today was probably as close to heaven as you can come here on earth. I hope this is just a glimpse of what it is like where I am headed, if they will let me in," and shrugged at the idea that even she could be worthy of the honor.
The comment stopped Amy's heart cold. The calm of the evening and resolutions they had managed to agree upon had left her unprepared for a reality check such as this. Having no idea what would be an appropriate response, especially since she and Charlie had only known each other for a day, she still did not want to leave her new friend hanging on such a weighted thought. "I suppose it is hard to ever forget about death, what it will be like when it happens."
"I spend almost every minute of every day thinking about all the things I need to do to make sure my daughter knows that I loved her as much as I possibly could have, and worrying about what will happen to her after I am gone, but every now and then it hits me that it is me who is going on this personal journey of mine and I wonder how long it will be before she forgets what I looked like, you know, before I looked like this," she swept her hand from top to bottom implying her disease corrupted appearance, "or the sound of my voice, or how good it felt for me to pick her up and squeeze every last bit of love out of her that I could. Oh, Amy, who is going to take care of her when Grandma and Grandpa are unable to keep up with her?"
"Do you not have any family close enough to you that could take her in when the time comes?"
"As unbelievable as it sounds, no. At least not that I could ever trust to take care of her like they should. There are distant cousins who I wouldn't let babysit my cat, let alone my daughter, and only one aunt who is older than Grandma, so she can't do it either."
"Maybe there is someone else that you know…," Amy deliberated, hoping for any other possibilities.
The depth of her soul pouring from her eyes, Charlie looked Amy straight on, "That is something that I wanted to talk to you about."
To be continued