Welcome to the absolute final chapter of this whole piece! Thank you so, so much for everything you all have done, everybody who reviewed and made any day absolutely amazing! I simultaneously can't wait for this to be over, yet I wish it really wasn't - I have had so much fun writing It Takes Two, and I wont forget it. It's been a difficult few years that I have spent writing this, and by god it has some sentiment to it. Once again, thank you for everything everybody has done and I hope that you all enjoy this ending, as it was simply so difficult to write knowing that this is the last people will read of my story.
Thank You! You are all amazing!
My heart went faster than the car PJ was driving as we raced down to the previously shut off area which was supposed to be m y death place. The wall never got re built because of the great risk it already was being a sheer drop into paralysing, icy cold water, but instead was cornered off by warning tape and surrounded by flood lights that blinded who ever moved in that area, whether it be a cat or a person. It was where my life changed as I felt into the icy depths months ago
There was no way I could have recalled the place itself, and it even took us to look on the internet for the location – which we found on a news website that had reported the 'Fatal fall of two young adults'. From there, we moved quickly, not speaking to each other at all and sitting in silence as the car rounded many corners, way above the speed limit.
I had never felt so frightening, not ever. not even not being able to remember, then losing someone so unforgettable. And if he had gone to where I thought, then surely this was the end for him.
Not when I woke up, feeling paralysed and confused, unable to remember my whole personality. Not even when I was told I could go home – to whatever home was. There simply was nothing more frightening than the fear I felt knowing that this could be then end of everything I knew, and it would be life changing.
One last corner was what I hoped as we wound through the streets, and we pulled to a heavy stop where I suddenly remembered the passage way sandwiched between the two houses at the end of the road. We burst out the doors, leaving them ajar, and ran as fast as our legs could manage into the darkness.
Phil P.O.V
It was dark. It was cold. It was isolated. And it was exactly how I remembered it.
In the distance, there were many rolls of thunder, but thy seemed miles away, and the pitched sky was blank. Clouds were only visible along the skyline.
The wind stung my face.
The grass remained over grown and cluttered with litter, and obscured the muddy path leading down to the wall, which was completely thrown into darkness and I couldn't see another person in sight.
That was strange. I was sure he said… I was sure he would be here.
I looked searchingly for a place to step, as the ground was strewn with glass shards which proved to be completely obscured in the darkness.
Can you see me yet…?
The answer was I could not, and although I stared harder into the void like darkness, it would only result in a headache
Come closer to me, or you could be too late…
My steady pace broke into a run, disregarding the pathway and running through the mesh of weed, stinging my legs and hands as I pushed my way past them. Glass hidden in the jungle stabbed through my shoes and I was slowly becoming entangled.
Suddenly, a bright light shone across me, and I stumbled blindly to the ground across my knee, and I fell heavily to the ground, my breath sharp in shock. The light woke up the previously invisible waste ground, and I could see everything in its wake.
The grass was a death like colour, some nearing brown as it was battered in the wind, which became ferocious. Warning tape fluttered somewhere in the distance, flashing rain washed colours. The fence which once stood, guarding this place from the public and holding a sign warning of trespassers.
But when I looked up the wall, which was continuously warping away into the drop beside, it saw that there was no silhouette around it, and in fact I was here all by myself.
There was a great feeling of stupidity when I realised I was chasing nothing, and I couldn't help but want to sink away and never be noticed again. it was icy cold, threatening to rain, dark and I couldn't really remember my way home, where Dan was and I was not, because I believe he was here.
I walked to the edge of the wall, sitting with my back against it lightly, where I was concealed mostly from what seemed like a flood light that was installed recently, as it definitely wasn't here when I last arrived in a hurry.
After a while, it switched off.
If there was anything I could have done to make the wall fall even more, then I would have done it. I had spent all the months trying so hard to help Dan be who he was before, and I had lost myself in the process. I had managed to create a complete stranger to who he really was, and be so… wrong to him. All I wanted, all I even wanted was to show him how he lived before, how we were so close and what we did, but inevitably it crashed and burned. There was no more sense of me in myself, and rather than me seeing Dan as a stranger, he saw me as a stranger, because I had forgotten who I really was. I had given myself and, of course Dan, some damn impossible set of expectations of a perfect life. Dan could be okay; I would be okay… yet I couldn't see myself in the mirror anymore. I wasn't me, and Dan wasn't Dan. This was not okay.
The wind carried through like wild fire, and it wasn't long until clouds were covering the skies in a frightening way, and the wind began to throw parts of the ground around, including plastic bags and litter which wasn't lodged in the over grown grass. I felt unsteady where I was, but at least it was quiet, at least it was remote, where I could think to myself.
"PHIL!" A voice called loudly out in the distance, and I froze in fear. The voice had come from the entrance, a while away from where I was sat. I sat still.
"Phil, we know you're here!" A female voice just audible over the whistling gales sweeping along loudly. I squinted into the distance, but could hardly see the people who approached. Damn glasses were at home, of course.
"It's okay, we want to help you now, please just come out!" I knew I couldn't let Dan see me. I knew that he wanted to help. But he hardly knew me, like I hardly knew myself. I moved my feet to my chest and wrapped my hands around them, holding myself close to keep warm and so that they couldn't find me. I didn't want to be found.
Before I knew it, the flood light, which was hidden somewhere on the towering fence of the house nearby, burst into blinding light, and finally, I could see them approaching. PJ, Bella, and Dan were walking blindly towards me, but I wasn't sure if they had seen me as they shielded their eyes, standing closely. I took advantage and stood, walking silently away along the edge of the drop, closer to where it all started.
"Phil, Stop." His voice was right behind me. Somehow Dan had caught up with me, his breath short, breathing heavily.
I didn't turn around. I didn't even talk. I just stopped. If there was anything that could have stopped me, it was Dan. Because it was clear in my mind, that if I wanted to get out of this then I would have to jump. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be this stranger.
"Just listen to me. It's me and you. No one else, PJ and Bella are back there but they can hear me or you." His voice was soft and silky, like I couldn't imagine. It was gentle and caring beyond recognition, and it was something that I longed for. I yearned to hear his voice that way.
"I know it's been difficult. I can't even begin to imagine…" his voice faded away, but I knew what he really wanted to say. "but I don't want the reason I lose you, to be the same reason you almost me. I have no idea, just no idea why I felt that what. I don't know what did it. I remember things that don't make sense, and its seriously messed up. If there was a way I could make this any different, I would. But we have to deal with what we've got."
"I've lost everything I ever wanted, I took it all for granted and then threw it all away. I've lost it all." I answer quietly, but I was sure I was audible over the whistling wind around us. I turned my head slightly, looking at the ground.
"Phil, we knew that things were never going to be the same. Hell, I don't even know what they were before it changed. But you, you know the past and I know that you need that back, but we can do this together, we can build everything back up the way that you want it. Life will be norm- "
"But it won't, will it!" this time, my voice became loud, and I clenched my fists, trying to contain the anger which was so strong. "How can life be normal again, if I can't think straight and you don't know anything of the past to be able to live it?"
"We just need to… get help. W-we can do it. You and me. I'll do it with you. Please just turn around, just let me help you." Dan's voice was feebly in the cold, and I was pretty sure I had made him feel rather unnerved. The atmosphere was tense.
"I don't want help. I don't need it. You're the one who needs all the help and support that you can get. I can manage."
"No, you can't. Phil, you are not managing. Staying in your room isolated isn't managing. Avoiding every friend and pushing them away isn't managing. Living your life thinking that you can't go any further is not managing. Just let us help you." His voice was strained and pleading, but I didn't look back still.
"Why?"
The question was so simple that it sounded wring, even harsh. But I couldn't begin to understand why. Why did he make so much effort when I couldn't put the effort back? When I clearly wasn't the same anymore, and anything that made me who I was, was gone.
For what felt like an eternity, I was lost in the wind. It drowned everything else out, getting louder and louder, beating my down. My eyes were shut tight as tears began to roll down my face, feeling that the answer would never come. I prepared my step closer.
Dan lightly took hold of my arm.
"Because I need you."
Those words were all I needed, the only thing I could think of that sounded right to me. It completed the feeling of loneliness and suffering, which numbed itself, and I could see clearly once again.
What was ferocious wind suddenly stopped, and silence finally fell. I turned around, facing Dan. His eyes were reddened and his face damp from tears. He kept hold of my arm as we looked each other in the eyes carefully but caringly. moments passed until I couldn't hold my breath anymore, and I exhaled every feeling, every emotion I wouldn't have allowed into the open before. I began to cry. Heavy tears filled my eyes, and I doubled over, Dan moving quickly closer and holding me as I fell to the ground, falling apart but fitting together again. the rain began to fall heavy, drenching us in silence, blissfully happy silence.
My war was over.
Third person P.O.V
Dan and Phil remained in the same place for a few more moments, until the police and ambulance crew burst through into the opening. It seemed that the flood light had been installed by the local council to prevent people from accessing the land. When the residents saw the lights turn on and heard the shouting, they had called the police and asked for help like they had been instructed after recognising the people there.
It was at this point where for the second time, their life would change for ever.
A paramedic stood over the them both, asking if they were feeling okay, bringing blankets to keep them warm and trying to coax them over to the ambulance where they could be warmer.
Dan stood first, taking Phil, who had not recovered enough to talk, under the arms and lifting him to his feet. But Dan felt a sudden pain in his head which brought him back to his knees and blinded him. It was searing through his mind and suddenly he was sat back on the damp floor, the blanket lisping off his shoulders
"Dan!" Phil shouted, finding his voice amongst all the rush and commotion. He quickly knelt down and grabbed Dan before he fell backwards, who was still clutching his head and holding his breath in pain. "Dan, what's wrong? Dan Talk to me!" The rain poured and the paramedic tried to lay Dan down, but his hands left his face, hanging a few inches away as he stared intently at the ground in confusion. For a few moments, he just sat there, and he couldn't hear a sound.
Everything was silent, everything was bland. The grass on the floor didn't mean anything. The feet shuffling wasn't of a concern. When the hands, grabbing both of his arms, shaking him, were nothing that Dan was aware of being important. His muscles were tensed and he couldn't figure out why. He just knew that he was there in that moment. The pain subdued, ebbing away into nothing. The sound returned like the tuning of a radio, and the voices, the voice became so clear and so loud.
Dan looked into the eyes of Phil Lester, his gaze torn from the sodden ground to this man who looked worryingly into his eyes. But Phil didn't mean the same to Dan anymore. Phil wasn't just the guy who Dan first set eyes on in the hospital. He wasn't just the person who knew everything about what Dan didn't. He wasn't just the friend who had been a friend, who had taken care and looked after Dan, or who had made his empty, lifeless days of scans and blood tests something his could enjoy and reminisce on.
Phil was all that, and more.
"Ph- Phil?" Dan's voice whispered. He spoke in disbelief. His world, his broken world that was missing so much, even though on the outside it seemed so little, finally was fixed, and Dan could look into Phil's eyes and see almost every memory they had ever had together.
The moment they met.
The moment they moved in together.
The moment Dan knew his life was no more than complete, and no less than perfect.
Dan remembered his missing puzzle, his missing piece. He remembered everything that matter, and what mattered was everything. But most of all,
Dan remembered Phil.
5 months later
"Daaan! You're taking forever, come on!" Phil had his shoes on, and was stood by the front door, waiting for what was like an eternity.
"It's not my fault! At least I'm up..." Dan's voice called back from his room. Phil shook his head and laughed, knowing that there was going to be something that would mean they were going to be late; this time, the alarm was 'too quiet'. Phil's phone pinged loudly.
"PJ said they're waiting outside, you need to hurryyy."
"I'm heree," Gasped Dan, rushing down to the door, still pulling on his jacket.
"About time," They both looked at the door, nervously, knowing that it would be okay, but unsure, hesitant.
"We can do it. I've got you, and you've got me. I'll be there the whole time. It's okay." Dan spoke quietly, looking directly at Phil, whose eyes were directed at the handle and were frozen, almost scared. For a moment, he didn't do anything. But when Phil looked up, his face split into a reassuring smile and he finally felt happy.
"It isn't too bad, when you think about it" Phil's voice was shaky, but confident, and Dan knew that it was going to be a good today. No relapse, no panic. Just him and Phil.
Clenching onto the wedding invitation, they walked out the door together towards a nervous looking PJ, who's hands were in the midst of sweeping through his hair. Dress in the navy suit matching to Dan and Phil's, he held a box in his left hand, hidden in his pocket. He was frantic when he looked over and saw them both approaching.
"Where-have-you-been" he said reproachfully through his teeth.
"PJ, relax. At this rate we are going to be almost an hour early. Everything's calm. She's probably not even dressed up yet so it's okay" reassured Phil, readjusting his tie.
"Wait" Said Dan. "You said we were going to be late – an hour early" Before Dan could continue, Phil cut him off.
"Yes, and if I told you we were early you'd still be in bed, now stop moaning. It's not your special day today anyway."
Dan glanced away embarrassed, but when he looked back they all laughed, PJ's especially forced and nervous. The driver pipped his horn impatiently, and they all looked around quickly as they realised where they were mean to be. Dan, Phil, and PJ all rushed over and seated themselves over in the taxi, which immediately drove off.
"Off to see the blushing bride…" PJ sung under his breath shakily. Phil looked over and nudged him.
"Oh come off it, be happy! It's meant to be a wedding, not a funeral! Remember, we are going to be up there with you too, so don't stress."
The car drove off in the early morning sun.
In the months to come, he would get better. Phil's therapy was long term, and it was going to take him a long time to recover. But he had shown much improvement, and could now face walking through the door and becoming much more social. His mood, his health and his life were going to get better, and Phil would almost be like before. when he looked at Dan, although he loved him very much, he knew the time was not right. They were both still recovering, and it would take even longer just for everything to settle just for him to mess it up again. Phil knew he would have to be the best friend Dan could possible have if it meant that life could be close to normal again.
Dan's memory never come back completely – some parts of his memory were still a mystery, and they never really come back, including the months leading up to his depression. He never really figured out why he felt that way either, and soon come to terms with the fact that he may never know why, along with the many dark patches he still couldn't remember. Most of Dan's memory did return, and finally he felt that he could fit the missing piece in his life, being able to remember who he was and, most importantly, his long and happy friendship with Phil. He was back to his normal self most the time. he knew, of course, that he cared about Phil more than he thought he did, but he knew that it wasn't right either. He saw the way Phil would look at him, and respected his patience, as these things come in time. Step by step.
Because for Phil to live, Dan had to be there - and for Dan to live, Phil had to be there.
It Takes Two.
