Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater of Harry Potter
Enjoy! :)
…
"Right," Stein checked his notes. "To kill this guy, we need one 'Harry Potter' and some kind of weapon. Anything, really. A wand. A knife. A large rock. Whatever he fancies – though I'm guessing that 'blunt rock' is going to be a bit messy."
Kid stared at him. "That's…it?"
"That's it," Stein confirmed cheerfully. "I have tried everything in my arsenal, but the sucker just won't die. It's glorious!" he gave a slightly giddy laugh, and Kid took a few steps back. Just in case. "Can I keep him?"
"We do kind of need to kill him," Kid pointed out, wondering if perhaps leaving the Dark Lord to Stein hadn't been the best idea. "Kim and Jackie mentioned something about this Harry, anyway. I'll contact Angela and get her to set something up."
"How long do you think that will take?"
"A few days," Kid said cautiously. "Maybe less."
"Excellent!" Stein said eagerly. "That gives me time to run a few more tests. Where did I put Molly…"
Kid really shouldn't ask. "Molly?"
"My intestinal probe," Stein explained. "I know I left her around here somewhere…"
Kid beat a hasty retreat, before he was subjected to any sort of dissection. Stein would probably be interested in comparing two seemingly 'immortal' beings sometime soon, and Kid wasn't going to wait around and find out the results.
…
"Hi, Harry," Kim waved wildly at her friend. "Ron!"
"Hermione!" Jackie added, sending her a slight glare.
"Yeah, her too! Guys!"
Harry glanced down cautiously from one of the terraces, Hermione already pointing her wand in front of them should she need to cast a hasty charm.
"Kim!" Ron shouted in surprise. "Jackie! You're back!"
"Miss us?" Kim grinned up at them. "We can't stay long. This place is giving me hives. But we need to check in with our people, and since we're here, we thought we'd just come and acknowledge your existence –
"Hi," Jackie clamped her hand over her Meister's mouth and waved cheerfully at them. "I don't suppose our things are still here?"
"Sorry," Hermione shook her head, almost half-over the balcony in order to get a better look at them. Ron hastily grabbed onto the back of her robes to keep her from falling over. "They were confiscated!"
"Damn," Kim said, voice muffled from Jackie's hand. "There go my Mars bars."
"I think that you owe me some chocolate, considering what I've had to put up with these past few days," Jackie objected.
"Oh, no – you are not putting this on me. I distinctly remember you telling me that this mission might just be fun!"
"Obviously I didn't expect things to turn out quite like this, now, did I?"
Ron, Hermione and Harry all exchanged odd looks. As far as they had been able to tell, their friends had never once fought with this kind of intensity; what little spats they managed to get themselves into were usually just that – little spats. At the moment, however, both sounded genuinely angry at the other.
It was slightly unsettling – however, since they had just successfully fought off an army of Death Eaters (they still weren't quite sure how that worked, but since they were the winners, they had all decided to roll with it), they figured that both girls were just a little high strung from the battle.
"Um, who are you supposed to report into?" Harry called, before they could actually start fighting for real. That would have freaked him out even worse, and at the moment he had to fight himself from just dropping to his knees and blocking out the rest of the world.
There had been people, real people, under those masks, and he had –
They had –
No, no, no – don't think about it. Thinking about it is only going to make it worse. Concentrate on something else, Harry. Concentrate on anything else…
"Whoever's here," Kim called up. "We figured that Kid wasn't going to just leave this place without any real protection, and since the Ministry's been blown up" –Jackie made a weird kind of choking sound – "There isn't really anyone to restrict the DWMA at the moment."
"There's a Witch called Angela ordering everyone around," Hermione offered.
"Um…" Kim paused. "Maybe not."
Jackie turned to stare at her partner. "What did you do?"
"Nothing!" Kim insisted. "I am shocked that you would accuse me of such a thing! You well know that Angela and I have never gotten along well –"
"You took her out for chocolate cake a month ago!" Jackie interrupted. "Then you brought me back a piece – and ate it!"
"Aah," Kim coughed. "Right. That was very nice chocolate cake. Helps to soothe even the most bitter of enemies…"
"Oh, Death," Jackie groaned. "Fine, fine, I'll let you have this one. Did they send anyone else?" Jackie called up.
"Some guy called Kilik with twin kids," Harry shouted, wondering if he should just summon a broom so he could go down and have a real conversation with his friends. He had been worried sick about them, scouring the Daily Prophet and any other newspaper he could get his hands on for any news that might be related. He wanted to know everything – where they had been, why they had run, who they were working for (Angela hadn't exactly been forthright about a lot of things) – but he got the sense that they wouldn't tell him anything. "And three girls – Anya, Meme and…" he grimaced and tried to remember their names.
"It was foreign sounding," Ron muttered, distinctly unhelpful.
"Tsugumi!" Hermione yelled in exasperation. "Honestly, you two – don't you listen to anything?"
"Why would we do that, when we have you?" Ron pointed out logically.
"You're impossible!" Hermione shook her head. "I give up!"
The three of them dissolved into a bout of slightly-hysterical giggling.
"Are you high?" Kim called up suspiciously.
"No!" Harry managed to contain his euphoric mirth long enough to lean over and shake his head at them. "Who do you want?"
Their shouting had attracted onlookers. People began to glance around, beginning to break out of the haze that they had built around themselves in order to keep fighting. Soot-stained, tear-streaked, survivors glanced cautiously around to check that, yes, they were indeed alive – as were their friends.
Only some weren't.
"Kilik would be best," Jackie said.
"He was fighting on the front lines," Harry explained. "He was much closer than here. I think he went back inside after the fighting died back a bit." Heh. Died. That word tasted like ash against Harry's tongue, and he fought the urge to throw up. "He should be in the Great Hall."
"Thanks!" Jackie waved to them cheerfully and ran off, Kim's arm gripped firmly in her hand.
Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at one another – and then started laughing so hard they cried.
…
Angela was sitting in the middle of the Great Hall, head in her hands.
It hadn't been as bad as they had feared. They had obviously expected things to go their way fairly quickly, and had been disturbed when it hadn't. They hadn't been expected the appearance of trained professional fighters like Black*Star and Kilik, both of whom could hold off armies under the right conditions.
They had obviously been missing the presence of their infallible (those times with Harry Potter didn't count, dammit – they were archenemies, after all. Archenemies lost to each other all the time) leader.
But that didn't mean there hadn't been casualties.
Bodies, small – oh, Death, far too small – were lined up in neat rows around the Hall. Someone had been thoughtful enough to grab spare sheets to cover them with, but the starkness of it all cut into Angela's heart.
There were kids. Kids.
"You're a kid, too, Angela," someone said quietly from behind her.
Angela didn't open her eyes. "I said that out loud, huh?"
"Yeah." Meme smiled down at the younger girl, vacant eyes focused to an unsettling degree. Both her arms had been wrapped up tightly in bandages, as was her neck and the left side of her face. "I don't like it here. I'll be happy to leave."
"Me, too," Angela muttered, crossing her arms over her skinny chest. "This isn't right. This isn't our fight."
"I don't think that matters anymore," Meme nodded around, fiddling with a bandage on her left arm. "Like you said, they're kids. We're the DWMA."
"You're NOT," Angela snapped, then winced. "That came out wrong."
"We're NOT class, yeah," Meme nodded, slipping into one of the chairs next to Angela with a slight grimace of pain. "That doesn't mean we're not DWMA. Anya and Tsugumi are determined to fight for this school, and therefore so am I."
"You don't sound like yourself."
"I don't feel like myself," Meme admitted, pressing her forehead to the table. "They gave me something to numb the pain, and I think it's messing with my head." She blinked at the wood. "I feel like passing out."
"Wait, hold up!" Angela quickly levered Meme into a proper sitting position. "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?"
"Probably," Meme frowned. "I think they had too many people. Once they had me patched up, they sent me away."
"And if I send you anywhere else, you're going to trip over the staircase and brain yourself," Angela predicted with a sigh. "Dammit. You'd better stay here for a while, then." She glanced around and shuddered. "Not sure why you'd want to, though. I could go get Anya…"
"They're busy," Meme said sleepily. "Too much is happening, and it's going too fast. They're stuck in their heads, and their souls are kind of funny. It tickles, being around them."
"Right." Angela shook her head. Meisters, she was never going to get them. "Whatever. I'd better go start tallying things up. I'm going to have to send a report to Kid, soon."
"Oh, yeah," Meme stared at her. "Your mirror is ringing."
Angela glanced down. "What?"
"Your compact. It's buzzing," Meme smiled. "It sounds like a dragonfly being chased by a bee."
Angela stared at her. "Right." Then she snapped to attention. "Oh, shit, my mirror!"
She quickly pulled it out from her pocket – ignoring the tiny, niggling voice that demanded, How in Death's name had Meme seen that? – and quickly flipped it open. This had been the pet-project that Kid had been working on with her, trying to get a direct line of contact without the risks that were now associated with simple mirror-to-mirror conversation. It was still in its infancy, which was why Kid's face looked like a bad horror-movie reject, but it was a start.
"Oh, wow, is that your face?" Kid peered into the mirror, and Angela couldn't stop herself from jerking back, a grimace decorating her mouth. Everything looked very distorted.
"I don't think you look any better," she told him honestly, wondering why on earth he had a third eye. And tentacles swarming around his neck. Yeah, okay, they needed to get this fixed soon.
"That's not important," Kid shook his head, and his tentacles waved around.
Angela shuddered. "What's the matter? I haven't managed to gather up everything…"
"We need you to kidnap Harry Potter," he said.
Angela blinked. "Wait, what?"
…
"Kilik!" Kim hurried over to her friend and wrapped him into a bone-crushing hug. "Hi!"
"Dislocated shoulder, dislocated shoulder!" Kilik said in a high voice, and Kim backed off, giving him a friendly whack. There was a pop as Kilik's shoulder slid back into alignment, and he gave a sigh of relief. "Okay," he said. "Now you can hug me."
"Kilik!" Kim grinned at him, giving him another quick hug, and then pushing her partner into his friendly embrace. "She needs a hug."
"I do not," Jackie huffed, though she seemed grateful when Kilik complied with Kim's demand. Kilik and the twins – along with Ox and Harvar – had been their team, before they had all become Spartoi. Even now, they still preferred to work together than with anyone else (though Jackie had had to restrain herself many a time from just blowing Ox's head off and be done with that stupid, moony rat-bastard who was trying and failing to put the moves on her Meister…).
"What are you doing here?" Kilik asked when Jackie pulled back. "I thought you'd both been kidnapped. I wanted to go after you, but Kid…" he shrugged.
"He was working on something," Kim assured him. Probably, at any rate. "We got out first. How is everyone?"
Kilik shrugged, glancing around. From behind him, the twins hurried over to grab onto Jackie's legs. She knelt down and smiled at them, talking while Kim gave a skeleton-report of their happenings (leaving out, Jackie noticed, the French-kissing acrobats. And the goldfish).
"We need to get out of here, soon," Kim said. "This place is already starting to affect my magic, and I can tell Jackie's soul is reacting to it weirdly. We can't stay much longer."
"Right," Kilik nodded, grabbing something from his pocket and tossing it to them. "That's going to be a problem. This is something that Angela and Kid have been working on. A few others, too, but mostly them. It'll allow you to talk without risking being intercepted by the wizards."
Kim pocketed it. "Thanks."
"I'll warn you, though; the scrambler certainly…scrambles things."
"Like, words?"
"Like, faces. And body-parts."
Kim grimaced. "And my day just got so much better."
…
Final Death Count
Death Eaters: 12
Students: 32
Teachers: 3
Aurors: 4
Misc.*: 21
* Family members of students, adults unrelated to students, Ministry workers (note: not Aurors), etc. etc.
Angela looked down at the piece of paper in her hand and tried not to cry.
…
…
A/N: right, I know this is really bad, but I'm leaving tomorrow for ten days (completely forgot this was going to happen) so I thought I'd better update now, rather than later (when you guys are all annoyed because, hey, didn't update). Sorry if it's terrible! Didn't have much time!
Thanks so much to: Krazyfanfiction1, SoulxMakaLover37, Kenzie Perth, pokemon-35055, Guest (AWESOME review – almost had a heart attack when I read the caps-stuff before the intro, but after reading it all it was REALLY COOL!), Amarantha (yeah, thinking about doing a oneshot of that when I'm done with this. Dunno if I'd be able to do it justice, though!) and Waywardneko. Also, thank you very much to redRWBYhood (your review was really sweet, and meant a lot to me).
Argh, I'm so behind on replies – sorry, sorry! I'll PM everyone in about ten days, ne? (no internet: kill me now)
See ya!
MM