D: All right, I promised Sinario that we would have a certain visitor for quite a few chapters, but I had thought up the early author notes (whether they were before or after the chapter, either way) and I wanted them down before I lost them. So, sorry, Sinario, but you'll have to wait for the next chapter for a certain somebody to come in so he can make fun of the Joker while he's hugging all his fangirls.
Joker: *sigh* How many do I, ah, have to hug?
D: I believe there are...eight.
Joker: Does that include, ah, NxS?
D: Yes.
Joker: *another sigh* What are the names?
D: *smirks* Why so curious, Mistah J?
Joker: *flips open switchblade* Just read them off, D!
D: Sam Wiise Gamjii, LaughingAngelsGibberish, ILoveMistahJ, 07Tazzy92, Scarecrow'sGotMyHeart1, and of course, your favorite person in the world - Sinario.
Joker: *sticks tongue out* Sin can just go...ah, jump off a cliff somewhere.
D: Only after she gets her hug from you.
Joker: Wait, that's, ah, only seven.
D: I get a hug too, don't I?
Joker: I give you, ah, enough hugs.
D: Which turns into you strangling me. C'mon, I bought that deep purple shirt you wanted me to wear!
Joker: *sighs* Fine...
D: And don't forget NxS's kiss too. So readers, if there are any girls that I missed, note that down in your review for this chapter. I hope I didn't miss anyone.
Joker: Wait! I'll make a, ah, a deal with Sinario. I'll give her a hug and a kiss if I can keep her cat. What do ya say, Sin? Is your - *coughs* - "child", ah, worth both a hug and a kiss from your archrival?! Oh, one other thing, you're to avoid calling me by some obnoxious dog name. Keep it as 'Joker'.
D: You drive a hard bargain.
Joker: *brushes off pretend dust from jacket* It's one of the things, ah, I do for a living. *bounces out of the room, giggling*
The door slammed open, and the loud voice scared me out of my slumber. My body jerked as someone said, "Get up, both of you! We got to get out of here within twenty minutes!"
I heard Heath moan beside me, and he shifted closer to me, burying his head into the back of my neck. His arm, which was draped over me, moved, and I reached for his hand, pulling it toward my face where I could put my head on it.
"Stop that!" Teresa pulled the Joker's arm off me, and she hit my head with something soft. "Get up!" She hit me again, and I raised a hand to protect my head.
"What the heck, Teresa," I protested, loudly.
"Up, Shadow!"
As Teresa hit me continuously with the pillow, I felt the Joker roll out of bed, sitting on the other edge.
"Make her stop," I groaned, trying to grab the pillow as Teresa tried to hit me with it again.
"Teresa," the Joker said, in a tired voice.
"Clown boy, get out of here. This is none of your business." Teresa hit me again, and this time, I became angry. I threw the covers up and lunged at her, tackling her to the ground.
"Stop!" I told her. I climbed off her, fuming, as I went over to my dresser to get some clothes. I noticed I was still wearing the Joker's jacket, and I stared at it, not registering that I should give it back to him.
"Might want to find you some normal clothes, clown boy," Teresa said.
"Why?" the Joker asked, wearily. I turned around and saw him rubbing his eyes. How can he not be wide-awake yet? I didn't understand.
"We're going out in public," Teresa answered. "And we're going undercover as citizens."
The Joker groaned and fell on his back onto the bed.
"Hey! None of that!" Teresa took up her pillow of a weapon and hit him in the face. Unlike me, the Joker had good reflexes even when he was half-awake. He caught the pillow before it hit him and ripped it out of Teresa's hands. To show his superior attitude, the Joker placed the pillow underneath his head and closed his eyes, pretending to go back to sleep.
Then, I snapped. I went around Teresa and jumped on him. He wasn't expecting me so I caught him completely by surprise. The Joker grunted as I landed on his chest, and he opened his eyes, glaring at me. Of course, once he recognized that it was me who had attacked him, he grinned and closed his eyes again.
"Let's go!" Teresa yelled, startling both me and the Joker. She finally left the room, slamming the door closed.
The Joker started laughing. "She's, ah, harsh in the morning, isn't she?" he asked me.
"I wouldn't know," I told him, glancing at the clock. "I hardly know her. Why the hell did she wake us up at three in the morning?"
"Ticked off, aren't you?" I slapped his cheek, and even though I left a red mark on his face, he giggled anyway.
"You don't feel pain, do you?" I demanded as I climbed off him.
"Only the pain you give me," he answered, still giggling.
I rolled my eyes as I returned to my dresser. "I want to know where we're going," I said, as I pulled out a shirt and pair of jeans. I jumped as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Would you stop scaring me like that?"
"But it's, ah, fun," he giggled, nuzzling my neck.
I smiled as I turned his arms, wrapping mine around his neck. "You're my personal joker," I told him.
His eyes narrowed slightly, and then the smile returned to his eyes. "I'm, ah, curious. Did you dream last night?"
My grin failed to remain where it was.
The Joker turned his head slightly, his eyes catching mine. "I'd take that as a, ah, a 'yes'."
"I don't want to talk about it," I told him, pulling away from him and grabbing my clothes. I retreated toward my side of the bed, but he followed me. Glancing at him and at the door, I measured how fast I was supposed to move to get out before he intercepted me.
"Don't even, ah, bother, Shadow," the Joker told me.
I grinned. "Did you forget…that I had a certain shadowing ability?" I asked him.
The Joker ran for the door, but I shadowed there first and managed to slip out, closing the door behind me before he stopped me.
I leaned against the door, smiling. Boy, the Joker could be so fun to play with like that. I didn't hear him colliding with the door so he wasn't going too fast. Tucking my clothing underneath my arm, I headed toward the bathroom.
As I passed through the living room, I felt that icy stare on me, but I ignored the Scarecrow, pretending he wasn't even there. I changed in the bathroom and came out with the Joker's jacket on me again. I just liked it too much; I wondered if he would fight me for it.
I went into the kitchen where I found Teresa packing a small cooler. "Where are we going at three in the morning, Teresa?" I asked.
"The beach," she told me. I raised an eyebrow, and she turned in time to see it. "We have a reason to get you and Jon out of Gotham, Shadow. Jon needs to get out while the police are crazy, and we need to get you out before Gordon calls you in to help with the investigation."
"What about the Joker?" I asked, curious.
Teresa stopped packing a bag of cookies to look at me. "I thought the change of scene might be…exciting for him. I'd ask him when was the last time he actually enjoyed doing something else other than killing people and blowing things up."
"And playing with fire," I murmured under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." I motioned to the cooler. "Need help?"
"No, I'm just about done. Is the Joker dressed yet?"
"I'll go look," I sighed as I left the kitchen.
The Joker had joined Crane in the living room, but he sat in a chair opposite the couch. To think that these two murderers could look like normal civilians was surprising. Both of them were wearing jeans and sneakers – where the Joker found a pair that fit him, I don't know. Crane wore his glasses, and his hair was sleek and wet. He wore a plain gray shirt with his jacket over it. However, the Joker still wore his hair down, but he had on a green shirt with a blue vest over it.
They looked at me when I entered the room, and I placed a hand on my hip. "Casually dressed murderers, I find it amusing," I told them.
"You're not laughing though," Crane said.
"Not even smiling," the Joker added. He stood up, but I motioned him to sit back down. A curious expression appeared on his face as he obeyed. I went into my room quickly and grabbed an elastic band. I returned, coming up behind the Joker and grabbing his clean hair, pulling it back so I could put it into a tail.
Crane raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he said.
"Yeah, really," the Joker responded.
"All right," Teresa began as she entered the room. She glanced at the Joker and smiled. "You actually look human." The Joker glared at her. "What's everyone's name? Mine's Alexis Paige." I noticed Crane's lips twitch at that.
"Murphy Kane," Crane said, causing Teresa's lips to twitch.
"Jack Napier," the Joker responded.
I tried to keep from smiling. "I'm stuck with Jane McKinley, but I'd like to use Jill as the first name."
The Joker saw the joke and burst out laughing. "Jack and, ah, Jill!"
Teresa clapped her hands together. "Murphy, take the cooler. Shadow, get the towels. We're leaving."
"Where, ah, are we going?" the Joker asked, excitedly.
I grinned at him. "The beach." He bounced to his feet and hugged me tightly. Again, I was positive that I could feel his wild energy pulsing through his body.
"Let go of me," I laughed, trying to pull out of his embrace.
The Joker laughed at my attempt as he tightened his grip.
Teresa rolled her eyes. "Jack, she needs to get the towels."
"You go, ah, and get them," the Joker growled at her, his mood changing suddenly. Teresa matched his glare, but she couldn't hold against his for longer than a few seconds. She looked away rolling her eyes.
"They're in the closet by the bathroom," I told her. Once Teresa had moved away with Crane, the Joker leaned in and kissed me. I smacked his cheek playfully. "You're to behave yourself, Heath," I whispered to him as I pulled away. "You're not the Joker, a mass-murdering Clown Prince of Crime."
His shoulders slumped for a moment, and then he cheered up. "It's been years, ah, since I last went to the beach."
"How many, may I ask?"
The Joker thought for a moment. "The last time was…our field trip to the beach, months before the one at the amusement park."
I remembered that one. "Where I lost my camera because you happened to be wearing it when you went into the ocean?"
The Joker laughed. "I bought you a, ah, a new one to make up for it."
I smiled and kissed him lightly. "And I still have that camera too," I told him. I pulled out of his arms and walked into my bedroom, shrugging off his purple jacket and leaving it on the bed with the rest of his criminal suit. I went into one of my desk drawers and took out my camera; the one Heath had bought me more than ten years ago. I came out and snapped a quick picture of him before he could move.
The Joker growled, lunging for me, but I laughed as I skipped out of reach, racing for the door. Teresa and Crane waited for us right outside of the door, and while Teresa looked surprised, Crane was smiling, probably finding the Joker's reaction to me interesting.
"We'll meet you two outside," I told them as I ran past them, racing down the hallway with the Joker hot on my heels. I managed to race down the stairs, two steps at a time, without bouncing on the landing. I just ran, laughing with my beloved puppy that couldn't help stopping to bounce on the landing before chasing me down the next flight.
I slid at the bottom of the stairs and raced down the hallway beside the stairs before the Joker could see me disappear. I stopped and crouched, hiding and waiting for him to reach the bottom.
He came a few seconds later, skidding to a halt and breathing heavily. The Joker, my Heath, looked around the lobby, trying to find me, but I shadowed outside and waved at him from the door. He glared at me and then came out. When he tried to grab me, I shadowed back inside, waited until he turned in my direction, and then shadowed into the backseat.
I unlocked the car from inside, and the Joker climbed in as Teresa and Crane came out of the apartment building. They got into the front seats, and the Joker and I only grinned at one another as we tried to calm our fast breathing.
Teresa drove out of Gotham, and I watched from the window as the criminal-infested city gradually grew more distant. I felt the Joker's hand on my leg, and I placed mine on his, sliding my fingertip along one of his fingers.
"How, ah, long will the drive be?" the Joker asked. I glanced at him, feeling like I didn't have much of a right to call him 'the Joker' when he was dressed like Heath and certainly not acting like the Joker.
"It will take five hours," Crane answered. I turned my head, and my eyes met his icy blue ones. Oh, great…we were going to start this again.
As my breathing calmed and the adrenaline faded, I began to feel tired. With only a few hours of sleep, it was no surprise that I was exhausted. I changed to the middle seat so then I could lean against Heath as I took a nap. He wrapped an arm around me as I settled into a comfortable position, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes.
I drifted in and out of awareness. If I was unconscious, I saw the Joker facing Heath Ledger in the dark alley. If I was awake, I heard Heath talking to Crane.
At six twenty, my cell went off, and Heath shook me awake to answer it.
"Yes, Gordon?" I answered, trying not to sound tired.
"You're up?" he asked. "Can you come down to the MCU?"
"I'm sorry, Gordon, but I can't. A friend of mine had an emergency so I'm headed toward her now." Teresa grinned at me in the rearview mirror; I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Oh, all right. Hope she's well."
"Yeah…" He had hung up. I closed the cell phone and resettled against my puppy.
"Was it about Jon?" Teresa asked.
"He didn't give me time to ask," I answered as I closed my eyes.
A few minutes later, my cell rang again. I grudgingly opened it and put it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Morning, Shadow." I snapped open my eyes, startled. It was Dean!
"How did you get my number?" I demanded, sitting up sharply. With my sudden movement, I awoke the Joker, and to get away from him, I moved into the window seat, placing my finger in my open ear.
"Didn't I ask you what your number was?" Dean asked, innocently.
"No, you sneak; you must have taken my cell to figure it out."
"I am good with technology, Shadow." Dean chuckled. "Now I know how to talk to you. You don't like texting, do you?"
"What?"
"Texting…I texted you quite a few times."
I rubbed my eyes. How did he get my number and why was he calling me now? "Listen, I can't talk to you right now. I have company."
"C'mon, Shadow. Talk to me. I'm supposed to be your 'boyfriend', after all."
I groaned. Why had I claimed him to be my alias's boyfriend? Oh right, to keep my cover from being blown and to protect my relationship with the Joker.
"Listen, I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm busy."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No, I'm not. I just…can't."
"But you are right now."
Oh, Dean could be so annoying. I glanced over at the Joker, seeing how he was narrowing his eyes at me, as if he was trying to listen to the conversation. Then, I realized that I had put my cell phone to my right ear, the one with the mic in it. Great, the Joker's suspicions that I was only using him were back. I wanted to change ears, but I knew that if I did, he'd be even more suspicious.
"Dean," I sighed, figuring that the Joker already knew who I was talking to, "I don't have to talk to you. You're only a friend, after all." I kept my eyes on the Joker, seeing how his anger was gradually showing on his face. "Why are you calling me anyway?"
"Just wondering who you were. I haven't seen you since before yesterday."
"Are you going to have a convulsion if you don't see me?"
"No, I was just wondering. Besides, we both gonna play the part of boyfriend and girlfriend thing."
"I'm busy, Dean. I'm actually outta town right now."
"Oh, that's fine. Hey, is your 'company' my boss?"
I couldn't help but smile. He was so slow. "You still consider him your boss."
"Well, I don't have any other job at the moment, especially since you're outta town right now. I'm just bored. Does the boss want me to do anything?"
"Go jump off a cliff," the Joker murmured, and I struggled to stop myself from laughing.
"I don't know. Let me ask him." I covered the mouthpiece of my phone and glared at the Joker. "Give him something to do, other than killing himself."
"Tell him to, ah, to ask Peter to kill him."
"Har har, Jack," I told him. "Do you want him to send a message to any of your men?"
"Yes," the Joker said, "Tell him to tell my men to kill him."
I smacked his cheek hard. "All right, anything else that doesn't have anything to do with killing Dean?" I demanded.
The Joker shook his head, his eyes hard.
I sighed and rolled my eyes as I uncovered the mouthpiece. "Before I tell you what he said-."
"Did he want me killed?"
"Basically," I said, glaring over at the Joker who didn't look happy at all. He must have figured that Dean was too intelligent. "I have to ask quickly. What's on the news?"
"The breakout of the Scarecrow," Dean answered, truthfully. "Why?"
"Well, your instructions from me…" I saw the Joker huff as he crossed his arms, and I stuck my tongue out at him. "Are to find your boss's men and just keep them from getting caught, meaning don't let them outside."
"I'm sure they'll take that well."
"I don't care what they think or not. They've got to stay out of the reach of the police. The Joker doesn't need to go out for more men after getting new ones three days ago."
"You know, I could go and find some more since he's down to four."
I counted the Joker's men on my fingers. "No, he's got five."
"At this rate, with how much he wants me dead, I'd just say four."
I rolled my eyes. He was just as difficult as the Joker. Why did they have so many similarities? Was it because they were both actors or was Dean acting like the Joker on purpose, to try to win me over? If it was the latter, I was going to have to give Dean a piece of my mind.
"Bye, Dean," I said, impatiently.
"Bye, Shadow." He hung up quickly, probably realizing by my tone that it would be a good idea not to push me off the edge that I was on.
I snapped the cell closed, and then I blinked. "Um, who picked up my cell last night?" I asked.
"I did," Crane answered.
"Who was it?"
"A man named Shaun," he answered, sounding faintly amused.
I stared at my cell and opened it to check the recent calls. I swore when I saw Shaun's name on the list. "I only gave my code number to a few people," I said, angrily.
"To whom?" the Joker asked, curious about my reaction to who had been on my calls.
"Catwoman, who probably gave it to Poison Ivy, Gordon, and then Teresa. Only four should know."
"I, ah, know yours."
"I know that; you kept snatching it from me so I'm not surprised." I rubbed my brow where a headache was beginning to arise again. "Do I suddenly have a normal number too?"
The Joker took my cell out of my hands, and he started pushing buttons, probably going to bring up something on it. He handed it back to me, and I looked at the screen. He had gone to the settings and there, on the very bottom, was my normal number. And beside it was a check in the box.
I swore again, and then gripped my head as my headache awoke. The Joker pulled me toward him, forcing my head down on his shoulder. He took the cell phone again and closed it, placing it in his pocket. I sighed and closed my eyes.
What else was I going to do? How did Dean and Shaun get my number?
"Wait a second," I said, "Give back my phone." The Joker looked at me. "Just for a sec."
He pulled it out and handed it to me. I went down into the phonebook, and my eyes widened. I had more contacts than the last time I had seen, and I scrolled down, my eyes widening as I saw Peter, James, Brian, Jon, and Shaun's numbers among the contacts. The Joker's was there too. I didn't see Dean's or Teresa's anywhere, but…damn!
There was my cell number, under my criminal name. That could only mean one thing.
Dean had switched his phone with mine!
D: Looks like Dean's in for it.
NxS: Oh Dean-boy's definitely in for it now. Hehehe... But yay for a trip to the beach :)!
D: And yeah, the Joker and Shadow aren't here because they are actually going to the beach so then they can tell me about their adventure with Crane and Teresa so I'll say the line. Don't forget to review. And don't worry, readers, Mistah J will be here on the top author's note in the next chapter for hugs (and kisses for whoever he thought deserved them)