Chapter XXXVII

Desperation

A thousand exercise-yard brawls, weaponless defense classes, dodging drunken blows from her parents, nothing had ever been this important and nothing had prepared her for the surge of violence that swept through her. Scientifically, she could break down every single reaction in an orderly fashion. Adrenaline allowed her a slight edge in speed and delayed her brain's reaction to pain. Endorphins clouded her higher brain functions and the most basic of all animal instincts, fight versus flight and kill or be killed had taken over.

Sara caught the other woman high in the chest, knocking the still smoking gun away with her manacled hands. At the exact moment of impact, Gillian had gone from smirking arrogantly, to looking stunned. Her eyes had gone wide and her mouth had become a wide 'O' of surprise. Both women hit the ground, Sara on top, with a thud and a grunt. With her hands free, Gillian had a slight advantage of mobility, but Sara had the momentary upper hand. She clamored up to her knees and delivered an awkward, but highly effective, steel reinforced punch to Gillian's face. The stunned moment of shock and pain was over in an instant and they were moving. Gillian trying to buck her off, to roll, to take control of the situation. No matter how many violent situations Sara had endured, Gillian still had several pounds on her, and her feet and hands were fully mobile. Despite her best efforts, she found herself lying on the ground, head being slammed into the pebble-strewn dust.

"Why the hell couldn't you just have died?"

The words were hot, and laced with venom. Gillian's breath came down on her and saliva flew. The woman had a tight grip on her hair and Sara felt the pain of her head meeting the hard ground again.

"If I only had a dollar for every time I heard that."

She scissored her still bound legs up and in a desperate move, tried to roll to the side. She pushed herself to her knees with her cuffed hands and kicked out at Gillian. She felt the solid impact of her feet on flesh and lashed out again. A hand caught one of her ankles and twisted it sharply. An elbow came down on her knee and Sara felt the intense, burning pain.

Above her Gillian laughed, "That's right bitch. Scream for me; beg me, just like he did.

She let out a guttural scream and twisted her body hard. She used her weight to topple an off balance Gillian over. Moving quickly, despite the crippling pain in her leg, Sara lunged for the other woman, hands clenched and to the side ready to aim for the ribs.

There was a blur of sudden motion and gritty dirt hit her in the eyes and for a moment, she was blinded. Sara fought to clear them and her moment's hesitation gave Gillian the window of opportunity she'd needed to regain the upper hand. Her solid tackle to the midsection knocked Sara to her hands and knees. Her head drooped down and she fought to catch the breath that was coming out of her in hisses, gasps, and wheezes. Her side burned and even though the adrenaline was still pumping, the combination of blunt force trauma to her head and acute blood loss was dulling her body's natural chemical responses. She tried to push herself up but a boot caught her in the side and all her strength abandoned her with the whoosh of air that was forced from her lungs. The gun was lying a few feet away and she knew that if Gillian reached it, she was dead.

Summoning strength from some unknown depth, she pushed herself up. Balancing preciously because her feet and hands were still shackled together, she got to her feet. Gillian foolishly had turned her back and was looking for the gun. At the sounds of metal rattling she turned, but was just a moment too late. Sara was on her, hands up, chain between the cuffs tight. They went down, once again, to the desert floor, but this time, Sara didn't punch or scratch; she lunged at the other woman's most vulnerable point, her neck. Steel links pressed against the woman's skin, making red welts rise and skin blanch white from the pressure underneath the unyielding metal.

She leaned down, putting enough weight on the cuffs to block, but not fracture the windpipe. She looked down at Gillian, who was struggling, mouth wide open grunting silently, and leaned in,

"Who's screaming now, Bitch?"

It was almost intimate, their position was one of lovers. Gillian's fingers clawed at her neck, trying to get a finger between the metal and her flesh, trying to create a little space so she could breathe. Sara held the pressure down. If there was anything she knew intimately, from both sides of her life, it was handcuffs and how to use them.

She stared down into Gillian's night black eyes. "Five years. Five long years. You took everything from me. I lost everything and everyone I loved." She jerked the chain, giving Gillian a quick gulp of air and then held down again. "Because of you. Your brother was a monster and you're worse." Her hands were steady and, though her heart was pounding in her chest, she was not afraid. "There isn't one fucking reason to leave you alive tonight. I should leave your fucking body to the vultures and the elements." Sara leaned in harder and could feel the woman jerking underneath her, in something that was dangerously close to death throws. "It's no more than you deserve."

The bullet ricocheted off the overturned car and sped off into the infinite night. Catherine pulled her gun and flashlight up. It was not a position that came naturally to her, but her grip on the gun, and its trigger was trained into her.

"GILLIAN!"

Just ahead of her, Sofia was going down the steep hill with an eerie grace; she barely needed the light at all. The closer they got, the more horrible the scene became. They, Sara and Gillian, were brawling, and Gillian was winning, through any means necessary. When Sara let out a strangled cry she saw Sofia jerk forward, trying to get there all the faster. They couldn't fire, Sara was too close to Gillian to make it a safe shot.

"SARA!"

Her own voice surprised her, full of fear and was that encouragement too? They, she and Sofia, were too slow and Gillian was so fast. A kick to the ribs, and since she could vividly remember the doctor's words, "She was assaulted, again, a five inch long cut, of medium depth, cutting through all the layers of skin and scraping the top layer of muscle. Not to mention several puncture wounds to go with it." Throwing dirt, pulling hair, kicking where she knew it would hurt, Gillian was fighting dirty, and somehow she just wasn't at all shocked.

What did shock her was seeing a figure come up and jump at the other woman, anger burning around her like a visible and fiery aura. When she realized what Sara was doing, she gasped. She was choking the other woman to death.

"SARA!"

The got closer and could hear the other woman's words, steady and ice cold, "There isn't one fucking reason to leave you alive tonight. I should leave your fucking body to the vultures and the elements...It's no better than you deserve."

Almost shoulder to shoulder, she and Sofia hit flat ground and started around the car, guns held out, ready for anything, yet so painfully raw and exposed to everything that was happening and could occur next.

Up close the scene was more horrible than even her nightmares could have imagined. Two people, people she had seen and talked to, were dead, limp, and hanging inside the torn and twisted wreck of the police car. Then there was the mass that was Sara and Gillian with Sara on top, holding the other woman down, choking the life out of her. It wasn't that Gillian was innocent, far from it. It was Sara she was truly worried about. She was afraid for her. She could see it in Sara's body language, and hear it in her voice; she was ready and willing to kill and for the first time, Catherine was truly afraid of Sara Sidle.