Title: Koumajutsu
Author: Tsubasa Kya
Disclaimer: I do not own "Naruto" or "Inuyasha". This will be Canon Naruto and Alternate Universe Inuyasha.

Chapter 37: Gay Boys

They were late in their release of Naruto. Sasuke was getting impatient. He, Sakura, and Itachi were waiting in front of the prison for Naruto to show up. Itachi and Sasuke had been released at 8:00 AM from their jail cell and made it out of the prison by 9:00 after a lengthy release procedure. Sakura had been released from her cell at 8:00 as well and made it out of the prison by 9:07, not long after Sasuke and Itachi.

All of them stood on the Kyper's Creek bridge waiting for Naruto to come out. It was well after ten now, so he should've been there. Sasuke grabbed Sakura's wrist, eliciting a gasp from her at the contact, and pulled her wrist toward him so he could check the time for the hundredth time that hour.

"Well, I'm bored," Itachi said. "I'm going to find something to do. Make sure you two and Naruto are at Training Ground 13 at 1:00." He took off down Kyper's Creek as Sakura glared at his back.

"Making us train when we just got out of jail…" Sakura muttered. "Clinically insane… There should be laws preventing this treatment…" Sasuke grabbed her wrist and looked at her watch again. "Would you stop that?" she asked him, but didn't pull her arm away. A sprinkling of cherry coloring had spread across her cheeks. "It's getting annoying."

"Annoying because you want more touches, or annoying because you don't want any?" Sasuke asked her with one eyebrow raised. He lifted himself onto the rail of the bridge, watching her closely. Her face had turned an interesting shade of red that didn't match her hair at all. He ran a finger along one of the lines in the x-shaped scar on his face. "Doesn't it bother you that I'm scarred, weak, and a deserter?"

She flushed and looked away from him. "Honestly? I don't care about the scars. I don't think you're weak at all. The idea of that is just plain silly… and sometimes people need to get away to find themselves. I'm just glad you're home…"

"Hm," he said thoughtfully. "Your thinking is flawed; you didn't need to get away. Naruto didn't need to. What makes you think I got away to 'find myself'?"

"Because… just because!" she shouted suddenly. He gripped the railing tight to keep from falling off due to shock. "Look, stop trying to make sense of everything. Sometimes logic just doesn't fit in the equation! You went away, but you came back. You only did it once, so just don't do it again."

"You're wrong again," he told her. "That was my second time leaving. If I've done it twice, who says I won't end up doing it again?"

She opened her mouth to scream, but someone else answered. "You're not leaving." Both teens turned to face Naruto. He was walking with his orange and black jacket slung over his shoulder. His black tee-shirt hung on him as if he'd not had a proper meal in a week. Black rings of sleeplessness had formed around blue eyes that were glossier than usual.

Sakura's eyes became instant waterworks. She rushed toward the boy in the orange pants and threw her arms around him, sobbing as if she'd seen a loved one die. "Naruto, oh my god, are you okay, I'm so sorry, please don't ever do that again, oh my god I'm so sorry that happened to you, I yelled at the warden when we were released I was so mad at him, I'm so sorry!"

Naruto grimaced and pat her on the head awkwardly. "Um, yeah, sorry Sakura-chan. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Are you okay?" she asked as she sniffled and clung tighter to the boy. Even from the three foot distance Sasuke was at, he heard ribs protesting. "Is your back okay? Did the medics check on it? We should take you to the hospital!"

"I'm okay," Naruto told her. "Just pretty starved." It looked like Naruto had a sudden inspirational thought because his face lit up. "Hey, Sakura-chan. Um, do you want to go to Ichiraku with me for lunch? I mean…they've got good Ramen…and um…" he trailed off as Sasuke couldn't contain snorted laughter. "What's your problem?" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"Ramen is the only thing on their menu, idiot." Sasuke shook his head. "I'm off," he said, turning away from the two. It was obvious that Naruto wanted 'alone' time with Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura ran over and grabbed his hand. "Come with us! Naruto's treating us to lunch. Never turn down a free meal!" Obviously Sakura didn't want to go by herself to lunch with Naruto… What was up with that?

"I'm not hungry," Sasuke lied. His stomach chose that precise moment to growl noisily. Sakura's eyes became damp ping-pong balls. "I'm really not," he tried again. Again his stomach gave him away.

Naruto saw Sakura's near-sobbing state and panicked as the blonde was prone to do. "Yeah, Sasuke, I'm totally treating, so you should come! Sakura, see, he's going to come!" Sasuke hadn't even answered… or had a chance to… "See? So don't cry!"

Sasuke did not miss the brief look of triumph that passed across Sakura's face. The little witch manipulated Naruto… with a remarkably small amount of effort! Amazing. How long had she been able to do that? "You'll come?" Sakura asked, her hands folded in plea in front of her, her eyes still watery. How did she call tears up at will?

"Whatever…" Wait a minute… she'd just manipulated him too! Damn it. How could he let himself fall into that obvious trap?

Sakura cheered before planting a kiss on each boy's cheek. Both boys felt their cheeks heat up at the affection before she grabbed Naruto's hand and—still holding Sasuke's hand—dragged both boys down Kyper's Creek Road toward the city. "Now no more fighting, you two!" she ordered.

"Okay, okay!" Naruto agreed hastily, "I don't look good in gray anyway."

Sasuke said, "You don't look all that great in orange either, yet you wear it." Naruto threw a sassy 'oh yeah' look at Sasuke but Sakura tugged roughly on each of their arms.

"Stop it," Sakura told them both.

"He started it," they both said in unison. Right after that, they glared at each other and said in unison, "I did not."

"Honestly, if you two don't stop it right now, I'm going to spread word all over the town that you guys are secretly in love." Sakura warned.

"You wouldn't dare," Sasuke said right when Naruto said, "No, Sakura-chan, it's not true! Whoever told you that is lying!" Sasuke had wondered if Naruto was as blonde as his hair… Apparently he was.

"Naruto…" Sakura stopped walking, putting her hands on her hips to perfect her 'I'm glaring at you for a reason' look. "I just made that up!"

"But why would you do that?" Naruto questioned her. "I mean, yeah, you should know that's hardly true. I mean… I'm straight. I've wanted you to go out with me for years… and that day under the bridge was…" Naruto threw a smug look at Sasuke and breathed out, "special…"

Okay, Sasuke was officially confused. What exactly happened between Naruto and Sakura under the bridge, and why did he suddenly feel like he had been bested by his friend?

Sakura's face was an unhealthy shade of pink. "N-Naruto, n-nothing even happened. I mean, it's not like we were kissing, Sasuke! Honestly! We weren't! I mean… We're only fifteen for heaven's sake! We didn't even do anything! We were kissing, I mean, we weren't. We weren't kissing!"

Naruto beamed at her. "Oh we were." He told her. Sasuke realized what Naruto was doing, finally. He'd been a bit slow on the uptake, but Naruto was a hard one to read sometimes. Naruto had figured out Sakura had purposefully manipulated him. This was his weird form of revenge. Embarrassment.

"We weren't, Sasuke! I promise!" Sakura seemed to think it mattered to Sasuke who she went around kissing. Her life was her own, but he'd been manipulated too. He decided he would join in Naruto's fun.

He threw a look of cold disgust on his face and glanced from his best friend to Sakura and back again, making sure she noticed his look. "You kissed Naruto?" he asked her.

"Oh yes," Naruto smirked and moved to Sakura's side, wrapping an arm around her waist almost possessively. Humored blue eyes locked with nervous green ones. "And you liked it. It's okay. You can tell Sasuke. I mean, we're all teammates, right?"

"No, Naruto, don't say anything!" Sakura squeaked, covering his mouth.

"He doesn't need to." Sasuke pointed out. "Your denial proves the truth in his words." He plastered on his best 'I don't care anymore, I'm going to have selective hearing and sight for anything concerning you' face.

"Please, Sasuke, don't listen to him!"

Naruto laughed. "Come on, Sakura-chan, you know you love me! We can prove it to Sasuke right here and now! We'll just show him!"

"But I love Sasuke!" Sakura insisted.

Sasuke had a tough time keeping himself from laughing at the look on her face. She was trying so hard to convince them, it seemed more like she was trying to convince herself. "So to show your supposed love," Sasuke drawled carefully, "you go around kissing other people? I'm definitely feeling the love now." He leveled narrow eyes at her.

Sakura's lower lip trembled. She peeled herself away from Naruto and threw herself at Sasuke, much to the surprise of both boys. They had figured she would get so flustered she'd take off running, find Ino, and complain about how boys sucked. Instead, she locked lips with Sasuke, much to the boy's surprise.

Naruto stared, open-jawed, for several seconds before laughing boldly. Sasuke couldn't help it. He started laughing too, mid-kiss. Due to his poorly timed laughter, two seconds later he was on the ground with a Sakura-sized handprint on his face. "That was our first kiss, Sasuke, and you wrecked it! I hate you Naruto!"

"What?" Naruto asked. "I'm not the one who laughed in the middle of the kiss!" Naruto was knocked with a perfectly timed punch right onto his best friend.

"Oomph!" Sasuke breathed out heavily as the wind was forcibly knocked from him by his friend's fall. He might not have been able to feel the pain accompanied by that, but unfortunately he could not escape the fact that the wind was knocked from him.

"Just for that," Sakura yelled, pointing at them both, "I'm going to tell everyone you two are having a wild love affair!" She took off running down the deserted Kyper's Creek Road toward the city.

Naruto rolled off Sasuke and massaged his bottom. "Damn, what are your abs made of? Rocks?"

"Concrete." Sasuke joked with shallow breaths. "It's cheaper to purchase and mold than to have stone custom cut." He sat up and looked at his hands. Where he had landed on the ground, his hands had scraped the flesh off. He would have to bandage those up before they got infected. "You don't think she's really going to go around telling people that, do you?"

Naruto shrugged. "She probably will but it's not like I have to worry. You might. Your fan-club is about to get bigger." He got to his feet and brushed himself off, grinning from ear to ear. He picked up his previously discarded jacket and pulled it on stiffly. "I don't have a fan-club."

Sasuke watched Naruto for a moment from his place on the ground. Was Naruto serious? He had a fan-club? He knew he used to…but hadn't expected he would still have one. Naruto held a hand down to Sasuke to help him up. Sasuke reached up and took it. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand and wrist firmly with his two hands, pulling him up as Sasuke stood. "What now?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto slung his arm around Sasuke's shoulder and began leading him down Kyper's Creek toward the city. "Now, is lunch time, lover." He joked. "And you are my date to Ichiraku…because I'm making you pay."

"That hardly seems fair," Sasuke pointed out. "You have more money than I currently do. I saw your last bank draft."

Naruto waved off his comment. "You're the working man in this relationship," he said. "All I do is walk on water and occasionally go off to war. You work at Steinem's. Therefore, you get the honor of paying."

Sasuke couldn't keep in the laugh that wanted to escape him. "Right." He didn't shrug Naruto away. What would the point be? He felt as if Naruto was as close as he could ever get to a family. He'd realized he would likely never be a family with Itachi. The two were getting along well enough… considering neither was dead… yet. But there was so much mystery to Itachi that Sasuke knew would keep them apart.

He'd grown up with Naruto, though. He felt Naruto was slowly accepting him again. He didn't need forgiveness yet, he supposed. When Naruto was ready to forgive him, he would.

Sasuke realized Naruto was talking… "So what do you think of that idea?" Naruto asked.

"I ignored everything you just said," Sasuke admitted unapologetically. "What was the idea?"

Naruto released Sasuke and glared at him with that old spark in his eyes that said 'I am so going to put dead fish in your bed'. Sasuke remembered that day. He'd had to replace his entire bed because even the wood smelled like dead fish.

"You do it and Iruka-sensei will kill you," Sasuke pointed out.

"We won't always live with Iruka-sensei," Naruto said deviously. "And if I have anything to say about it, we'll have a new place by the end of the week."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto. "Isn't that what you said when we first moved in with Iruka-sensei? Curious." Sasuke continued walking toward Ichiraku. He turned to walk backward, grinning at Naruto. "Did you want that Ramen date or not?" He waggled his eyebrows.

Naruto grinned suddenly. "Of course, love, of course!" he said, trotting to catch up. "You know, Sakura's going to regret spreading rumors about us. What with that kiss back when we were eleven, people might actually believe it."

Both boys paled suddenly. "I'd forgotten about that," Sasuke said in a somewhat hesitant voice.

Naruto gulped. "I'd forgotten too until just now…" They glanced at each other before simultaneously coming to the same conclusion. They had to shut Sakura up… by any means necessary. If they had to sell their souls to the devil, they would. They ran as fast as they could toward the city. "You take the Hyuga's house and spread your search from there." Naruto yelled. "Check Ino's, Kiba's, and Chouji's place since they're all close to the Hyuga's. Her house is near Ino's so check there too. I'll check at Shino's, Ten-Ten's, Lee's, Shikamaru's, and the academy district."

Sasuke nodded. "Kakashi said to meet him at one in Training Ground 13, so she'll probably show there at one." Naruto nodded and the two of them split up to—hopefully—cover more ground and find the woman who was determined to destroy them.

They wouldn't be having lunch after all…

Sasuke didn't find Sakura anywhere. At one o'clock, he started heading toward Training Ground 13. He met up with a flustered Naruto on the way. They were both out of breath as they approached the gate to Training Ground 13…where Sakura was looking quite pleased with herself standing next to Itachi-disguised-as-Kakashi. That visible black eye looked very suspiciously humored.

"Well, well," Itachi chuckled. "I see you two finally decided to show up. Care to explain why you were late? And so out of breath, too… Not to mention the two of you look quite heated." Sasuke and Naruto both glared death-promises at their teammate. "Well, no matter. This training session will cool you off very quickly."

"It's not what you think," Naruto said hastily as Sakura continued smirking. "Really it's not!"

"Not what I think?" Itachi inquired thoughtfully. "Certainly looks like it's what I've been informed you two have been doing."

"We're not gay!" Sasuke growled at his brother.

The lone visible black eye went marginally wider. "Not gay…" he said thoughtfully.

"We're not!" Naruto added for good measure.

Itachi coughed slightly in obvious discomfort. "I didn't say you were… It appears as though you weren't really running laps around Konoha as you told Sakura you would be doing and thus why you apparently ditched her when she asked you to have lunch with her…" Sasuke and Naruto's jaws dropped. Sakura was looking so smug. They couldn't remember how to speak to defend themselves. "Well…" Itachi scratched the back of head. "Well, this is… rather disquieting news…"

Sasuke ground his teeth, trying to think of something to say to defend his manliness in front of his brother. No words came to mind, however. Itachi's next words caused both boys to cringe and their faces to burst into flames in embarrassment.

"Well, er, since you two um… Okay," Itachi stood up perfectly straight, like a man preparing to march into battle headlong. "You see, boys… when a man loves… er, well in your case… another man… There are things that must be done… Certain protections must be taken." Sakura was nearly rolling on the ground with her barely suppressed giggles behind Itachi.

Again Itachi coughed uncomfortably, but seemed to feel it was his duty to finish what he'd started. Naruto was making a rather remarkable impression of a fish out of water. "I'm sure there's nothing wrong with your… sexual preference… It's not something I'm into… but before you… try any experimenting… you should go to the library and read up on… gay relationships." Itachi seemed to have a sudden burst of inspiration. "I know! Tomorrow we will all spend a day researching this subject at the library, as a team, rather than coming here."

"WE ARE NOT GAY!" Naruto and Sasuke yelled together.

"It's okay to come out of the closet," Itachi said, patting them both on the shoulders in what was supposed to be a consoling manner but only felt like the Pat of Doom. "For today, we'll pick up where we left off with walking on the maelstrom. We won't talk about this again until tomorrow."

Itachi took a key card from his pocket and swiped it in the pad. The heavy gate opened up and Sasuke turned to Naruto. "Hit me," he said seriously. "With a really hard rock. Tie me to a boulder and drop me into a deep river right afterward."

Sakura's eyes contorted with amusement at her form of cruel and unusual punishment. She followed Itachi into the training grounds. Naruto grumbled, "I wish I could tell Sakura who Kakashi really is…"

The two boys followed at a slower pace, neither really enthused to join the evil girl. Sasuke looked at Naruto with surprise. "You mean you know?"

"Hell yeah!" Naruto scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "He's a cruel, sadistic bastard who lives to torture little children!" Oh…so Naruto didn't know. "I swear, I'm going to booby-trap everything Sakura and Kakashi own." He glanced side-long at his best friend. "Care to join my vengeance?"

Sasuke needed only one look at that sly pink-haired girl's smirk before nodding. "What color is it this time?" No one was around Training Ground 13. They were the only ones present.

"Rainbow," Naruto growled. "They'll be walking ROY-G-BIV's. This evil injustice cannot be overlooked!" They made it to the edge of the cliff.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said sweetly, batting her eyelashes like the manipulative girl the boys were coming to know she was, "do you want me to be there tomorrow? I'm not sure how beneficial the research will be for me, but I'll be there if you need me—though it really hurts knowing Sasuke chose Naruto over me…"

Itachi…was…being…manipulated…by…Sakura… And he appeared to be falling right into her evil little woman-claws. Itachi dug his finger under the tilted forehead protector to scratch his eye in a moment of thought. Then, he placed both palms on Sakura's shoulders and nodded. "You should be there for moral support, but you're right. You're straight so learning about how to be gay won't benefit you or me. Together, you and I will research medical techniques you might benefit from."

Sakura was so evilly smug, Sasuke couldn't believe it. His big, bad, child-prodigy brother who could use the Sharingan to manipulate people's minds had been manipulated by a fifteen year old girl who had no special manipulative techniques in her arsenal other than long, curled eyelashes and a feminine body!

"Now, as I said, we will not discuss this further until tomorrow. And if you don't show up, Sasuke and Naruto, I'll hunt you down, hog-tie you, and drag you to the library." The smiling upturn to his eye did nothing to lessen the fear that came with the threat.

Sasuke turned his mind to the whirling maelstrom in the pit. He looked at Itachi. "What are we doing?" he asked to change the subject.

"Walking on the maelstrom," Itachi explained. "It takes considerable amount of chakra control to keep yourself afloat on moving liquid." He pulled a piece of black cloth from his pocket and walked over to Sasuke. "You have two lessons to learn here; one, how to walk on the maelstrom. Two, not to rely heavily on the Sharingan when learning techniques. The Sharingan can replicate techniques but only to a certain level. Unless you understand the concept beneath the technique, the power level of your replicated technique will always be weaker than someone who has learned the technique the hard way."

Itachi walked around behind Sasuke and he tensed for a moment, expecting an attack that didn't come. Habits were hard to break… All that came was a black piece of cloth tied tightly on his head, unhindered by hair since his was still very short. "And the cloth is for?" Sasuke asked.

"You've trained your Sharingan to activate itself, correct?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yes, but not for technique replication. I didn't have that much opportunity to train it for that." He didn't ever really see that many people other than Orochimaru and Kabuto, and even when Kabuto was training him, he never demonstrated a technique so training the Sharingan was pretty much impossible.

"Well, don't train it to do that or I'll schedule you for the next eye transplant and give you ordinary eyes." Sasuke felt a shudder go through him at the thought of losing his Sharingan eyes. They were practically his savior. Itachi continued and Sasuke felt something cold and metal pressed in his hand. "That's a whistle, Sasuke. If you feel yourself falling, blow the whistle as hard as you can and I will pull you out of the water. It is recommended you remove your nin-kits, jacket, and shoes." Sasuke removed his shoes. His nin-kits were back at Iruka's since he hadn't been wearing them before he was thrown in jail, and he didn't wear a jacket.

"Keep the whistle in your mouth. Since you have the bandana covering your eyes, I don't think I need to warn you, but if the bandana should fall off, keep your eyes closed. If you do this wrong, the water will pull you under. We can't tie you to a lifeline here because if you go under the force of the water will snap you in half. If you slip, don't struggle against the flow of the water. Move with it and you should be able to keep your head above the water until I can pull you out."

"Can I trust you to pull me out?" Sasuke asked Itachi. He heard echoes of confusion emitting from Sakura and Naruto, but ignored the two.

Itachi didn't answer, unsurprisingly. "You'll go in one at a time until you get the hang of it. You will first hang on the ledge, Sasuke, and gather enough chakra beneath your feet to stay on top of the water. Then, drop onto the water. It's tough to do, and you probably won't get it your first time. Keep in mind that on still water, you won't move, but this is not still water so you have to constantly adjust your chakra to the surface beneath you and keep your feet braced so you stay standing. Still with me?"

Sasuke nodded hesitantly. "How do I know when I can get out again?"

"I've measured the time and distance with a person of your weight and stature," Itachi explained. "It will take you approximately three hundred thirty seconds to go the loop. That's five and a half minutes. As you get closer to the center, obviously the loop goes faster, so after three hundred seconds you want to reach out and grab the wall with your chakra, lifting your feet simultaneously, and climb out of the pit."

"It would be easier if I could take this bandana off," Sasuke muttered.

Itachi pointed out, "You will never improve if you do not challenge yourself. If you spent all that time training with Kabuto taking the 'easy' way, then I was mistaken to think you might have gained a minute amount of strength."

His words made sense, even if they hurt at the same time. Kabuto never demonstrated a technique to him—not once. He had something similar to Sasuke, except his words were more along the lines of 'using the Sharingan was cheating'. But if Itachi thought Sasuke was as weak as he'd been in their last battle, Sasuke would show him a thing or two. He would prove he could do this, because this was similar to Kabuto's training methods.

The only difference was that Itachi had removed his eyes from the equation all together. "Alright," Sasuke said monotonously. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and would have cringed if he hadn't just spent a week in a tiny cell with his brother and come out mostly unscathed (his brother felt the urge to whack him upside the head whenever Sasuke said something Itachi didn't like). He was guided to the edge.

"Now put the whistle between your lips and sit down. You will turn yourself and lower yourself down onto the top of the water. You are five feet eight inches tall. The water is seven and a half feet down." Itachi kept speaking instructions even as Sasuke did as he was told. Sasuke didn't really want to do the training because he couldn't be sure his brother would pull him out.

'He better pull me out, or I'll come back and haunt him as a ghost,' he thought childishly before concentrating his chakra in his feet and dropping himself. He counted to three and dropped. He managed to land unsteadily on the water but the water surface beneath him changed rapidly and he couldn't adjust the control on his chakra fast enough. He sunk and lost the whistle.

The water tugged at the bandana but the cloth didn't come off his eyes. Hands wrapped around him and pulled him up before he could be dragged down to the bottom in the current. Moments later, he was on the ground again coughing up enough water that it felt as though he were also ridding himself of precious internal organs.

He yanked the bandana off, feeling suddenly claustrophobic with it on. 'And I thought for a moment that Itachi was partly sane…' he groused mentally. 'This isn't training… this is slow execution…'

Thanks to: Sleepy One (I have said in every disclaimer for this story that this is AU Inuyasha, and I would have hoped you would have realized that by the end of the first chapter even if you didn't read the disclaimer. If I were to make Naruto and company know what was happening to Kagome and the other girls in chapter 13, it would be like making Naruto an angel-demon-devil-prince-priest-ninja-super-duper-telepathic-mind-reader-Mary-Sue. He didn't know what was going on, so thus I could get away with some joking in chapter 13, and as far as copping out on the action, I left it to your imagination to guess what Sesshoumaru would do with a bunch of men who harmed his property--as Kagome is considered his. Re-read chapter 3 to figure out how Kakashi and Kagome know each other. Or, re-read chapter 13. It is explained in both. I put Note#2 in the first chapter for you, and welcome to the story. Please leave a signed review so I can easily reply with that lovely cheater's-button next time), sn1ck3rD00dl3 (no changes necessary! Boy did I have you fooled! haha!), Shutoko Kosoukou Dreamer (see? They really are gay!), Natsumi Tsuchi-Ookami (The bells come later), Ichihime (they are cute, and I will have to write a GaaraKagome story someday), DarkRavie (Glad you like it), and of course, to everyone else who reviewed chapter 36 after I posted chapter 37.

ANSWER: MUAHAHA! Told you they're gay!

I don't know the words to the song, bum bum bum, but it's good, and called Pageant. The band is Cirque Du Soleil. Check it out! Please review!