[Ad Break]
Narrator: "Time is running out as Naruto and Kiba race against time to find Shikamaru's killers..."
Naruto and Kiba are interrogating a witness, Neji, in an interrogation room.
"Look, I had nothing to do with Shikamaru's disappearance," Neji said. "Besides, you know that I'm friends with Miss Tsunade..."
Kiba smacks Neji in the face.
"Are you crazy, Kiba?" asks Naruto. "You just hit a witness!"
Kiba pulls out an explosive tag. "If I was crazy, would I do this?" Kiba peels the tag.
Knowing full well of the consequences, Naruto answers. "Frankly...yes."
The explosive tag in Kiba's hands explode...
Later, as Naruto with slightly burnt clothes walked out of what remains of the Hokage building, he sits next to burnt Kiba.
Narrator: "Naruto and Kiba now find themselves in Trouble with a capital T..."
"Killing a witness and destroying a public building," said Naruto. "Kiba, you're lucky that Tsunade gave you a warning. If it was me, I would have sliced off your head and threw you into the river."
Kiba looks at Naruto and puts his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto, you are a true friend."
Narrator: "All new 'Shikamaru' at 9:30 Thursday Nights on KonohaTV, following 'Gundam Pokémon' at 10.
Naruto News Show: Series Four
By PikaFlash And the News Team
Edition 8: Shikamaru's Complicated
Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.
Naruto looks up from his sheets of paper... "Cha cha charmanderchar! And, on this edition of the Naruto News Show:"
[Fifth Hokage hopes that foiled Otogakure plot distracts everyone from gambling problems]
[Current Japanese President claims that he will be the greatest President ever, once he claims every media outlet in Japan]
[Plus a CGI Pikachu more expensive than a real life Pikachu, claims soon to be sacked Fanfiction Writer...]
"Before we get to the news, to have a lighter look at the news of the week, we speak to Shikamaru Nara."
Shikamaru is sitting next to Naruto.
"So, Shikamaru? Anything caught your eye this week?" asks Naruto.
Shikamaru rubs his chin. "Erm...I really have no idea, considering that you pulled me from the story I was supposed to be doing and put me here."
"How about we do some ad-libbing?" Naruto suggested.
"Well, I don't really do improv," Shikamaru said. "In fact, I'm actually one of the ghost writers for this fanfic, so I must come up with something."
Naruto picks up a guitar. "Ok, how about playing some songs? That should add in some filler..."
Shikamaru sighs. "Naruto...I'm just a writer. The one who does the musical part is Neji."
"Right." Naruto keeps the guitar.
Then, Shikamaru adds, "Plus, I'm not a big fan of your news reports..."
[An Edit Later...]
Naruto begins his first actual news report.
"It's been a tale of mystery and intrigue and it's one that we at the Naruto News Show are proud of. Neji Hyuga has more..."
[Neji Hyuga Reporting]
Neji is standing on a bridge, giving his report.
"Last year, one of the biggest frauds have taken place here, in Konoha. But to trace this fraud back to its origins, I had to travel to Sunagakure...or did I?"
Neji's wife, Tenten is being interviewed by Neji.
[Tenten Hyuga, Neji's wife]
"As far as I know, Neji never left Konoha. Otherwise, the Hokage would have known about it," said Tenten.
Neji asks a question. "So, why do you think I lied that I went to Suna, Tenten?"
"I don't know," Tenten answers.
"Have I been acting strangely?" Neji asks.
"From my interpretation of the events, I believe that you've been hiding something for quite some time. I and a lot of my friends believe that you are having an affair."
"Ok, so the 'trip to Suna' is an excuse for me to spend time with another woman?"
Tenten nods. "I believe so."
Neji is back on the bridge. "It is genuinely believed that if I had really gone to Suna, I would have travelled with my teammate, Rock Lee..."
Neji: "Rock Lee is a friend of mine and is known to have a close working relationship with me..."
Neji and Rock Lee are at Ichiraku's Ramen...
[Rock Lee, Neji's Teammate]
Neji interviews Lee. "Lee, you would know if you and I went to Sunagakure to cover a story. Is that true?"
"Of course," answers Lee.
"Did we go?" asks Neji.
Lee shakes his head. "No. In my opinion, that trip to Suna never happened."
"So where was I when I said I went to Suna?"
Lee shrugged. "You just have got to ask yourself."
"I subsequently approached myself a number of times for an interview and I repeatedly declined."
Neji is walking on the bridge as a bunch of Academy Students are on their way to the Ninja Academy...
"That is, until yesterday, where I contacted myself and agreed to the following interview under the condition that my anominity is protected..."
Neji is in a secret location, interviewing himself.
"Neji, both my wife and friend stated that you never actually went to Suna. Can you honestly say that I took that trip to Suna?"
On the other side of the room, Neji's face is blurred. "Yes, I..."
[Transmission Cut...]
Naruto was watching the report up until this point. "Unfortunately, this afternoon, Neji has threatened to sue us for showing that report unless we cut out the rest of the joke. Though it was kinda getting a bit boring..."
Riza Hawkeye and Jean Havoc are watching Colonel Roy Mustang running around inside the barracks, screaming, "It's 'Yes sir!' 'Yes sir!'"
['Mustang's Heroes', 8:00 PM Thursdays on TokyoTV, followed by 'Viva Pika!: Pokémon's influence in the Mobile Suit Race']
"Three bags full," chanted Ed, Winry and Al, who happened to be nearby...
"Mmmmm...that will never go to air," comments Naruto. He then continues on to the next report. "Meanwhile, Zombies have appeared in Japan in a parody of the hit Capcom Survival Horror, Resident Evil, or Biohazard as it is known in Japan..."
[Footage: Arceus Ex Machina]
There is rioting in Japan as Riot Police beat up rioters...
"Zombies began marching towards the Presidential Offices, in a bid to eat everyone in there, but Zombies find their food a bit gamey due to their only sources of food being a group of Pokémon guarding the empty building due to renovations. I wonder what the former President will think about that..."
Meanwhile, at the Former Japanese President's residence...
A set of golf clubs has been thrown through a window...
Naruto looks at the camera. "Before we go, a quick look at tomorrow's headlines:"
[Konoha Times - "Orochimaru, not Michael Jackson, will be President..."]
Naruto: "Konoha Times leading with some old stuff"
[Suna Weekly - "Fraud at Polls?"]
Naruto: "The Suna Weekly telling people what to believe again..."
[Konoha Herald - "Konohamaru beaten up by Pikachu Mafia"]
Naruto: "And Konoha Herald putting the Pika in Pick-a-Choo..."
Naruto looks at the camera. "And to take us out tonight, Shikamaru is going to sing the song that Neji was supposed to do but decided to leave because of that report. Shikamaru?"
Shikamaru begins playing a guitar out of tune. The tune is from "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne.
"Uh huh, life's like this"
"Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is"
"Cause life's like this"
"Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is"
"My name is Sumilidon,"
"Tell me, what have I done to deserve this?"
"All I am, just a humble pianist"
"What you see is what you get!"
"I'm just a pianist for a show"
"When I'm playing the piano"
"And you're talking to me one on one, you fire me..."
"You know what, I'm outta here." Shikamaru puts down the guitar and walks off.
Meanwhile, Neji is standing in a corner, giving the evil eye at Naruto...