Lonely No More
by Cyberchao X

Chapter 37

Disclaimer: May or may not be necessary, but it's here just in case.

*May*

"Dr. Rorochika? I was surprised when I called your old office and they said you'd retired. Normally I would've left it at that and inquired about getting a different doctor, but, well…you remember how delicate the details of our case were."

The doctor was quite confused. "No, I don't; where—"

"I think it's finally time we had the discussion we should've had a decade ago. And may I say again that you don't look nearly old enough to be retired."

"Thank you; you don't look nearly old enough to have been one of my patients a decade ago. Or anyone's, for that matter."

Miki frowned. "I know, I know. And, yes, Dr. Inagi was my primary therapist; you were my father's. But there was that…certain issue that you felt it prudent to talk to me about."

The retired psychologist wracked her brain. "…Ichirei-san? Are you Ichirei Miki?"

Miki smiled. "So you do remember me."

"I would've expected you to be…taller, by now."

"Among other things. My body's stubborn refusal to grow has been my primary source of angst these days…but of course, our discussion centers on a certain other source. I finally did follow your advice and shared my story with someone…someone very close to me. And it did help, to a degree."

"That's good. Come on in. So now there are a total of, what, five people who know what happened that day?"

Miki entered. "…I only count four."

"…My apologies. It was a delicate situation since you and your sister were seeing Dr. Inagi together and both of you expressly wanted to avoid allowing her find out, but…since you wouldn't talk to me about your father's suicide attempt, I had to let Dr. Inagi know that his patient wasn't just in there for grief counseling. I discussed it with your father before breaching the doctor-patient confidentiality, and he agreed that it was best that Dr. Inagi knew what he was really dealing with."

"Is that so? He never let on that he knew."

"Inagi Kosuke is one of the best child psychologists I know. Also, you were six years old at the time. Even as intelligent as you were, I wouldn't expect you to have been able to pick up on the more subtle things we do at the time. Though, I would've hoped that once you were seeing him one-on-one, you would've told him about it yourself. That was, after all, why your father sent you to see him for longer than he sent your sister. …But I doubt we're just here to talk about the past."

"Right. I…still have problems letting go."

"Of…?"

"My anger towards…her. For what she did to us, especially to Daddy."

"By 'her', you mean your mother?"

"…Yeah. For awhile, it was just a matter of people knowing to avoid the subject of my mother, but…" She paused. "Sakura-chan doesn't share my…problem."

"Well, you said she still doesn't know just how badly the news of your mother's infidelity and death affected your father. So it's understandable that she wouldn't feel as much hatred for her mother as you do."

"That's true, but that wasn't the problem I was referring to. If anything, she looks older than she actually is—at least as old as I actually am, if not older. And…she's the spitting image of our mother. It's hard for me to look straight at her now, and I know it's unfair because they're not the same person, but…" She trailed off. "This past spring break, my father allowed me to bring my boyfriend with us on vacation. Daddy's quite protective of us, and we were both joking that the real reason he allowed Izei-kun to come along was so that he could be a fake boyfriend to Sakura-chan to ward off anyone who might want to hit on her, since the natural assumption for any strangers seeing us would be that she's the older sister. So then when Izei said that he'd be fine with that as long as he didn't have to get too publicly affectionate, Sakura-chan started teasing him that he didn't find her attractive, and he said it was irrelevant because she was my sister, so then I started teasing him that if she wasn't my sister, he would find her attractive, and he said that it's tough to tell because a lot of the traits that make her attractive were traits that I had too, so if we weren't related, she might not have them, and I got mad and stormed off."

Dr. Rorochika stared at her. "Um…"

"…I know what you're thinking. Izei's been a friend for a long time; he knew me—and liked me, apparently, though I only just recently found out—since before my appearance was anything out of the ordinary."

"And he's not bothered by the fact that you still look like you're ten or eleven when you're actually…sixteen, is it?"

"He's willing to put it aside. He's the one I eventually told, you know. Just to show him how much I trust him."

"…About what happened with you and your father?"

Miki nodded. "Most of my friends don't even know the parts that Sakura-chan does know. But I told him everything, this past New Year's."

"It sounds like you really have someone special there. That's good."

"Honey? Who are you talking to?" A third voice cut in.

"An old patient came to see me. I treated her father ten years ago, and although she was mainly Dr. Inagi's patient, I treated her a bit, too."

"Oh. I'll leave you alone, then; it must have been a really sensitive issue if she sought you out rather than looking for a new doctor."

"That your husband?"

"Yeah."

Miki lowered her voice. "I guess maybe you are older than I thought. Either that or he's a real cradle robber."

Dr. Rorochika smiled. "Well, he is already in his sixties while I'm still in my fifties…but, no, there's not a huge age difference between us."

"I honestly would've believed you were still in your forties, maybe early fifties at oldest."

"You flatter me, Ichirei-san. I haven't been that young since your father was still my patient."

"…Well, as pleasant as it is to talk about other things…I suppose it would be best to return to the subject of my 'mommy issues'."

"If that's what you want. One of the first things psychologists learn is not to push the patient to reveal any more than they want to reveal."

"Should you really be giving away your secrets like that?"

They both laughed. "I'm glad to see that you've managed to learn how to enjoy life, Ichirei-san. You know what one of the dark secrets of my profession—former profession—is? We often end up as each other's clients. Of course, our own doctor-patient confidentiality prevents us from revealing too much to our shrinks, but…well, it should be obvious why we'd have issues."

"The burden of keeping those secrets. I know that there are limits to how far doctor-patient confidentiality goes, but…there really wasn't any reason to have to tell anyone about my father's case, was there? After all, if the police had found out that he had had the intent to attempt suicide, what would they have done? He probably would've been mandated to receive psychiatric help. Which he was already doing of his own free will."

"Well, I'm a psychologist, not a psychiatrist, but…yeah, pretty much. If I ever thought he needed more, I would've been quick to refer him to one. For example, if he still had the gun."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was quick to ask about that. He said that after what happened, he was quick to sell the gun."

"Um…I don't know if you can tell me this, but…did he ever tell you why he'd bought a gun in the first place?"

"Hm. …Yes, he did."

"…And?"

"You asked a yes or no question. I answered, 'yes'." Dr. Rorochika managed to keep a straight face, out of professionalism.

"That's true. I suppose I did. So…can you tell me?"

"Probably not. That's why I hesitated to answer before coming up with the technicality."

"Fair enough. I suppose if I absolutely must know, I could just ask him, but…it's not worth bringing up. Not yet, anyway. Maybe I'll ask him one day."

"Would you let me have the honor of accompanying you to the school dance?"

Suzuka couldn't help but giggle at the manner in which Dylan asked her. "The honor would be all mine."

"I figured as much. Just wanted to make it official."

"Since you expect that there will be plenty of girls willing to ignore the usual customs?"

"Uh…no? Honestly, even in America, the tradition of the guys asking the girls has still held fairly well as far as school dances go, unless it's specifically been inverted. Still, it is probably best that I get my date lined up quickly."

"Thus opening me up to be the target of every girl's envy in this school."

"…Surely you're exaggerating."

"A liitle."

Later that day, another pair of baseball players were working on lining up dates. "Our school is having a dance next Friday," Rakashi said. "Perhaps you two would like to attend?"

"I'd love to," Katsura replied. "Hanna-chan, you going to go with Touga-san?"

"…You sure that's such a good idea?"

"It'll be fine," Katsura assured her.

"…How can I say no? Sure, I'm in."

"Great. Now, when bringing dates from other schools, we have to register them...I forget, what school do you two girls go to?"

"…I don't think there's anything for you two to remember," Katsura said.

"You're right. There isn't," Touga said. "You've never mentioned it."

"…"

"It's fine, you can say it," Rakashi said.

"Should we really put them through this charade?"

"Wait, you mean…" Hanna said.

"…We already know? Yeah," Touga replied. "Just because we came from a different junior high doesn't mean there aren't people here who know you."

"Okay, fine, yeah. So it's not a problem?"

"Why would it be a problem?"

"Well, then, that's settled. Now that we don't have to worry about scheming to pretend to be in high school, we can start working on a plan to allow Mai-chan to attend without her parents knowing," Hanna said.

"Why would we need to do that? Didn't they fake her going to his graduation a couple of months ago? Her parents know that Chura-san is in high school now; they just don't know that he already was when they started dating."

"Okay, what is this all about?"

"One of our friends is dating a second-year that she met at a New Year's party. Multiple lies were involved—first to him, making him think that she was a third-year when we were still in our first year, and then once that deception was unmasked, he ended up lying and making her parents believe that he was a third-year in junior high rather than already being in high school."

"So then going after older boys is kind of a thing for you and your friends."

"Well, for me it's just older boys. For Katsu-tan it's more like upperclassmen in general."

"Hanna!" Katsura turned bright red.

"…Sorry. I overstepped my bounds, didn't I?"

"I-It's not really like that. I'm—I like guys, generally speaking. There's just this one special girl."

"It's—you don't need to explain yourself to me," Rakashi said, while Hanna rolled her eyes behind Katsura's back.

After the two of them were alone, Hanna explained herself. "Geez, Katsura, way to blow it. Weren't you worried that Rakashi-san might be paying more attention to me even though he's supposed to be your guy, due to me being more developed? I gave you a perfect chance to become a star attraction."

"Pardon my language, but what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Guys totally think girl-on-girl is hot. I'm pretty sure they know we know that and that we play homoerotic games entirely for their benefit, and they still can't get enough of it. Positioning yourself as going both ways would be a great move even if it wasn't true. Speaking of which, since when has it not been?"

"It never was."

"I seem to remember you positively glowing the night after you expanded your horizons."

"…That had nothing to do with that. Oneesama and I had been going through a rough time in our relationship—or rather, I was starting to doubt my feelings—and we patched things up. Although, yes, there were some physically pleasurable moments." She blushed.

"That's what I figured. Now spare me the details."

"So what are you doing about the dance this year?" Suzuka asked.

"I might not even go," Arisa replied. "I can't really go with Watagami-san again, seeing as how it would seem suspicious what with us not really being together at any point since last year's dance."

"I thought everyone knew you were a lesbian anyway," Suzuka pointed out.

"Even more reason to avoid taking someone who's still in the closet."

"What about the one who was Suki-chan's date last year?"

"Too campy for my tastes. Also, I'd rather stay on speaking terms with Watagami-san."

"Oh. They split up?"

"This is high school. Stable relationships aren't supposed to be common; a couple lasting over a year, like Suki and Tatsuke-san did, is almost unheard of."

"…Did?"

Arisa smiled grimly. "The writing's been on the wall for awhile now. A couple of weeks ago, Tatsuke-san finally told Suki-tan that it was clear that she no longer had feelings for him and that he wanted to go their separate ways."

"Poor Suki-chan. Is she 'available', or has she more or less come out as bisexual and in a relationship with a girl?"

"She is…not denying the rumors that she and her favorite second-year are a bit closer than mere sempai and kohai, but she refuses to confirm that she is anything other than heterosexual, either. Sound familiar?"

"Yeah. If this were America I'd sue her for theft of my intellectual property," Suzuka cracked.

"Well, international woman of mystery, here's your chance to silence all of the doubters. Go to that dance, without the slightest reason to worry about your girlfriend, and show them just how heterosexual you can be."

Suzuka kissed her. "I promise I'll make it up to you later that night."

"I won't hold you to that promise. You can make it the following night if things end up getting a bit heterosexual."

"…I'll keep a condom in my purse."

"Good girl. So, in the spirit of non-jealousy, you don't mind that I'll probably be spending the evening with my gorgeous ex-girlfriend?"

"Suki-chan's a good girl."

"With a documented problem in faithfulness to a single person. Or even two single people, though she's only got one at the moment and she'll be otherwise occupied."

"Wait, what?"

"I thought you knew—spotted it in its infancy, in fact, given that she was giving you tips on Dylan-san. One of my teammates—cute little first-year, I feel like I met her before even though I know I haven't—is a terrible gossip. Her boyfriend is on the baseball team, and he told her that two of his teammates are dating second-year junior high students. From our school. Care to take a guess who they might be?"

"Ah, so your real reason for not going with Watagami-san is because if he can't find a date, he stands less of a chance of seeing his little sister at the dance."

"No, that's not it at all. Why would I protect her? I still dislike her, even though I've come to kind of like Katsu-chan."

"Watagami-chan seems like a sweet girl to me. A bit abrasive, maybe, but, well…"

"An iincho type. Someone that you could get along with quite well."

"I don't think there is such a thing as an iincho type. After all, if Watagami Hanna is an iincho type, then Ichirei Miki is about the furthest thing possible from an iincho type."

"She's certainly lacking in [inches]," Arisa replied.

"It's times like these I wish I could perform magic, so that I could pull a harisen out of thin air and smack you with it."

"It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"All you needed was a Kansai accent and you'd be all ready for manzai."

"What yew mean?" She giggled.

Suzuka laughed as well. "Well, either way, I can't really be jealous, because the best way to play up the homoeroticism on the dance floor would be to get a true lesbian/bisexual to be my receptor. Remember where that landed us last year?"

"How could I forget our amazing threesome?

"Well, remember who you just said would be there."

"You gonna play with the kitty cat?"

"Yep. Gonna play with the pussy."

CCX: I still haven't the slightest idea where I'm going with all of this, nor do I really care. It's…at the moment, there doesn't seem to be any resolution in sight, and the fact that the fic started with a foregone conclusion is currently quite annoying. Well, anyway, I think this chapter has reached a good concluding point, so until next time, this is CCX, signing off.