Conviction

Izaya

A/N:- Thank you for the reviews and onto the next chapter. Enjoy.

Before hand it would have been the best sight in the world, but now seeing his lover cry was the worst. It tore at his heart, leaving him speechless. "Shizu-chan." He couldn't ignore the heart broken cry that left his lover, or the fragile look on that tear streaked face. "Shizu-chan!" I'm sorry. "Shizu-chan." Look at me.

Taking the clenched hands in his own, he placed soft kisses along each one. "Trust me." Please, don't run away. Those hands finally moved, watery coffee eyes looking up into his own. "Do you still want to do this?" It no longer felt right. Shizu-chan felt far away, even though he was right there underneath him. His lover bit his lip, nodding his head. "I need you to tell me." He kept his voice low. "Yeah. I want to do it."

"Izaya." Shit. Looking down he could see his knife in his hand, cutting the blond's shirt. "Ah, force of habit." He should've put it to one side beforehand. "No. Keep it out. Just in case." Izaya grit his teeth, hating how his lover gave up, flicking his knife closed, he threw it to the floor. Knowing he could use his belt as a bind, he took that off and threw it next to his knife. "Look at me Shizu-chan."

Taking his top off, he leaned down, hovering over the blond. "I really screwed with your head. I'm sorry." Licking against the shell of his lover's ear, Izaya ignored the feeble "S-stop." He needed to get through to him. "I didn't know then, what I knew now. You're not a monster. I love you Shizu-chan. There's nothing wrong. You can let it all go." He continued whispering the words. "S-stop." Even though he knew he was causing his lover pain, even though he could see it clear as day.

He fell back, rolling backwards off of the bed, as strong but fragile hands pushed him, one last desperate attempt to keep him away. He didn't make a sound as he hit his head against the wall. He had expected some sort of injury. His lover was shaking, curled into a ball like a small child, trying to block out everything. He could hear the heart wrenching sobs and once again he thought back to his part in breaking the man.

Climbing back onto the bed, he lifted the blond's legs, tucking him under the covers. Slipping in next to him, he wrapped an arm around his shaking lover's waist. Gently coaxing his lover to turn around, he felt his chest become damp as Shizu-chan clung to him. Running his fingers through soft hair, he said nothing, letting the blond get everything out of his system. It wasn't long before his lover was sound asleep.

Shit! That hadn't gone how he had planned at all. But it looked like he had managed to do something. Whether it was for better or worse, he would find out in the morning. Attempting to sit up, he found he couldn't get out of his lover's arms. "I'm not going anywhere, Shizu-chan." Not yet anyway. Making himself comfortable, he closed his eyes.

When he woke up, he had to check his phone. Being in the apartment all the time was beginning to feel claustrophobic. Day and night were blurring to the point he knew he would lose it if he stayed any longer. The steel like grip of desperation was gone. His lover was curled up in the centre of the bed, hands underneath his head like a pillow, looking relaxed and a lot better than he did last night.

Laying back down, he studied his lover, seeing how peaceful he looked. Reaching out, he played with a lock of hair. But he knew he couldn't stay like that. Climbing out of bed, he dug out a bed shirt, carefully dressing his sleeping lover. Once he was done, he covered him back up and went to get started on breakfast.

Hearing rustling and movement, he popped his head around the door, seeing the blond try and attempt to go back to sleep. His lover's flushed face put anything but innocent thoughts in his head. "Good morning, Shizu-chan. I made breakfast." The reply was muffled, those shy coffee eyes had yet to look up. Slinking closer, he couldn't resist brushing his lips against the blond. "Hm. That's better."

"Cut it out." His lover wasn't trying that hard to get away and the look in those eyes said something completely different. Letting out a small laugh, he quickly got off the bed, before he went too far. "Come on. Or the food will get cold." Izaya tried not to look behind him, seeing those long legs on view. He could run his fingers- damn it. What are you doing to me? Shizu-chan.

"What are you planning on doing today?" Leaning against the counter, he took a sip of his coffee, knowing that the blond was trying to run away again. Not this time. "Hm? I'm going to spend the whole day with you." He could see the surprise and despair , even as the blond stared at the table.

It was never good if his lover was alone for more than five minutes, he wanted to keep him out of that dark pit, he had helped push him into. Shizu-chan was standing in the bedroom, unmovable like an iron golem. Sneaking up on him, Izaya wrapped his arms around his lover, wishing he was stronger, so he could make sure the fragile man would never leave him. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." You have to try harder than that. "Really? You aren't very good at lying protozoan." Still he had gotten a bit too close, most of his blood had run south and he knew by the slight hitch of breath, that his lover had realised. "Izaya?" Screw it, it wouldn't change anything in his plans, or maybe it would. Everything would depend on his lover's will. His teeth latched onto his lover's ear, licking and nibbling, along the shell. "I can't wait any more."

Following his lover onto the bed, he used his quick fingers to undo each button, wishing he had never put it on in the first place. "Izaya?" He already knew what the blond wanted to ask. "I'm not using it on you." Undoing the last button, he pulled the shirt to the side, taking his time to stare at his lover's body. He had been through so much, most humans wouldn't have survived. "Don't look away."

Izaya made a point of just touching the scarred body, running his fingers everywhere, his lips kissing each and every single scar. But there was only one that he wanted the blond to remember and that was the one that he had made. "Oi. Stop that." Shaking his head, he made sure those widened coffee eyes were focused on him. "When Shizu-chan admits it feels good, I'll move on." Everything from now on, was his lover's decision. "Ah. Feels...good."

Ah, his protozoan was dangerous, if he realised just how much, he would be in a lot of trouble. Shifting so he was slightly more comfortable, he began showing affection to other parts of that seductive body. "I get it. Enough." No you don't. Just a little more. "Do you?"The blond nodded, looking like he was going to run any second. Getting rid of his clothes, he inwardly sighed in relief, they could move on. "Good."

Getting rid of that bed shirt, Izaya slid his fingers under the boxer's he had put on, really he should have left both of them naked, it would've saved time. He quickly realised that he was making it worse for himself. Every moan and gasp only made him harder and they had barely started. The raven knew his patience and control were going to be tested. Already he wanted to be sheathed inside that tight heat. But if he did that, the fragile trust would break and Shizu-chan would run again, retreating further into his self hatred. Instead, he used his finger to take his time brushing over the perky nub, the effect was instant. "Izaya."

Forcing a grin, he swallowed at that voice. "Does it feel good?" Getting another positive answer, he carried on, spending all his attention on the pink flesh, his finger, making circles, capturing it between thumb and finger, pinching just enough to hear the blond gasp underneath him. Lowering his head, Izaya gentle bit down, just enough to earn a pleasured hiss. His eyes flicked to those clenched fists. By the time he was finished, his lover would be clinging to him, not some bedsheets.

Moving away from the sensitive buds, Izaya kept the heated gaze between them, moving lower, his own arousal, trapped between his and his lover's body. Staying in control, he let his tongue dart out, creating a path down the slim tummy. Shizu-chan had lost weight. Not for much longer. He couldn't let this go on. "Good?"

"Fuck." That was the best answer he was going to get. Usually he liked foreplay, he licked to tease and take his time, but the flustered blond underneath him, was making him impatient. Getting up, he felt his cock jolt at the sight in front of him. Why hadn't he known any of this before? Already his lover was rock hard, taking the length in his hand, he licked along the vein. "W-watch your ring."

How forgetful of him. Sitting up, he pulled the one from his left hand and then the one on his right hand, tossing them on the floor. They weren't important. Right now nothing was important. Returning to what he was doing, he took the blond deep in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks. Smirking , he placed a hand on Shizu-chan's hip, to stop him bucking up. "I-Izaya stop."

As if he would do such a thing. There was no stopping, not until the blond was better, not until he was completely his and they had gone back home. "Why you like it, Shizu-chan." Bobbing his head, he gave all of his attention, to the excited cock in his mouth. Every part of you is beautiful. I'll show you, until you can't deny it.

He could hear the bed covers rip, a loud cry filled his ears. "Izaya!" Pulling back, he swallowed the load, without any trouble, licking his lips. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Does it feel good?" He didn't think he would get an answer, his lover was dazed and breathing harshly. But there was a small nod. "We're not done yet." Part of him wondered if he was going too fast, but his lover needed that push. "No!"

They had already got so far. His eyes widened as the blond got on all fours, ass in the air. Gulping in air, he forgot how to breathe. As tempting as that was... no he could still do it. Letting out a sigh, he grabbed the lube, more than a few bottles stashed under the bed and poured a generous amount on his fingers. His lover shook as he added one finger and again he had to ask. "Good?"

His fingers weren't enough, for him or Shizu-chan, it didn't matter that he was hitting that spot, or that the blond was writing in pleasure, arms no longer able to hold him. Covering his painful arousal, he positioned himself at that tight entrance. "Shit! Ha." He felt the same. His lover's walls clamped down on him, it didn't compare to that time before. Biting his lip, he hissed at the tightness. "Relax."

Maybe this was a bad idea. "Shizu-chan?" The blond seemed to be struggling. "...Hurry and move." Pulling out, until just the tip was in, he angled himself right and slammed back in. "Nn. Shit." Gritting his teeth he did the same again. "So tight, Shizu-chan." Keeping up a near brutal pace, he watched as his lover came undone, torturing that little pleasure spot.

Good, maybe he wouldn't notice then. Pulling out, Izaya flipped the blond so he was on his back and thrust back into that tight ass, before Shizu-chan would realise what he had done. From this position he could see everything, the flushed cheeks, lust filled coffee eyes. No one else had seen this, only him and he would be the only one. Breaking his rhythm, he pounded against the blond's sweet spot, moving his arms so they were around his neck. "Wha?"

Ah, it looked like he had been caught. But it didn't change anything, at least not yet. His lover rocked into every movement, clinging to him like a life line and yet he was still in one piece. Which said a lot about the so called monster writhing underneath him, succumbing to his touch and the pleasure he was giving him. Placing a finger against those soft lips, he closed the space between them, pushing the blond against the headboard. "So good. Fuck." Just a bit more.

"More." Izaya knew he was close, how could he not be, the delicious noises flowing through his ears only making everything better than he could've hoped. And now his control was at its limit, but he needed to hold back. There was a lesson in all of this. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Still feeling good?" His only reply was incoherent words. Izaya grit his teeth as the blond pushed back against him.

"You know... Monsters don't feel anything. They don't care about anything. They're ugly and horrific and want to make my precious humans run away." Everything I used to say about you. He could tell his lover was close. "Shizu-chan is different. You feel everything, you take on pain that isn't yours." He tried keeping his voice the the same, but that was a little difficult. Gripping slim hips, he pounded into the blond, every movement a little rough, due to loss of control.

"You're hot and cute. You're not a monster, Shizu-chan. You're special and you're mine." And I'm never letting you go. Stroking the leaking cock, he sent his lover over the edge. "Ah. Cum-" Not yet. His movements became desperate, not a single hint of control was left. "Cum for me, Shizu-chan." He didn't flinch as the blond's seed, spilled over his hand, his lover's inner walls became virgin tight, forcing him to release his own load inside.

He watched as Shizu-chan came down from his high and knew that soon he would be asleep, if he wasn't already. A brief moment of panic shot through him seeing coffee eyes slip shut, arms falling from around his next, limp on the bed. The tired smile, told him the blond was fine. Pulling out, he moved over, placing a kiss on those soft lips. "I'm...not a... monster."

"No, you're not." Remaining where he was, Izaya ran his thumb across those soft lips. Was he any closer to fixing everything? His lover twitched in his sleep. "...Iza-ya!" Letting out a sigh, he stroked the blond's cheek. "I'm here, Shizu-chan." Even if he knew his lover couldn't hear him, that was fine. Climbing off of the bed, the raven headed into the bathroom, for a quick shower, dressing in just his boxers, it didn't matter, they were the only ones there.

Grabbing a cloth, he cleaned the sleeping blond, not wanting him to get ill again. Shizu-chan barely moved, which was good for him. Returning to the bed with his his laptop, he slipped under the covers. Staring at the screen, Izaya let out a sigh. He had promised not to hurt his lover any more. But if it was for his own good...

He spent the rest of the day in bed, with his exhausted protozoan. Maybe he had gone too far. His eyes widened as he felt arms wrap around him, pulling him closer. "Mm." He knew the blond was waking up. Coffee eyes looked up into his, a blush dusting those cheeks. "I-is it still morning?" Really Shizu-chan was cute. "Not any more. But it doesn't matter does it?" Everything was Shizu-chan's choice from now on. "Not really."

"Ne, Shizu-chan. Do you want to go out tomorrow? We could go to a bakery for those cakes you like." His lover flinched violently, as if he had slapped him. "...No. Not yet." Izaya sighed, knowing there was no other choice. His lover had made his decision. "You know we can't stay in here forever." They still had a bit to go. "...I will." But nothing about when. "Hm, what should we do instead." Ducking under the covers, he let his hands glide over his lovers sleeping member. "Shit. Izaya." He grinned as the blond became hard, he had barely touched him.

Izaya pulled his top over his head, they had wasted another whole day, well not waste it exactly, they had got plenty done. Looking behind him, he could see the blond snuggled up under the covers, it was the early hours of the morning, he would stay asleep for a while. Turning away, the informant stood up, putting his belt on. The last thing was his signature jacket. Padding to the side of the bed, he ran a finger down those soft cheeks. "I'm sorry, Shizu-chan."

Crouching down, he placed a kiss on his forehead and then another on his lips. "I'm going to do something cruel, but its for your sake. You can't hide in here forever." And you can't run from who you are. Checking his pockets, he held out the two phones. Placing one on his pillow, the other was returned to his pocket. "Everything is your decision, Shizu-chan."

His laptop was open on the bed, each window showing what he had been up to. Resting his splayed hand on the cover, Izaya pushed it closed, hearing a small click. Next to it was the remote. "Ne, Shizu-chan. Did you know Kasuka-kun is in Ikebukuro today? Of course you wouldn't." Switching the tv on, he checked to see his lover was still sleeping. Selecting the channel he needed, Izaya let the control drop on the bed. "I'll see you soon, Shizu-chan." And then he left.

Being an informant wasn't the most sensible of jobs. In fact it was only for people like him, a way to watch over his precious humans, in their times of need and desperation. Shizu-chan probably thought it was harmless, finding missing cats, discovering cheating husbands. But of course nothing was easy or simple.

He had a few close calls. Either way there was no such thing as a perfect ending. If a wife found out their husband was cheating, the husband would have a grudge for being caught out. No matter which way it went, someone would end up unhappy. So how many enemies had he made over the years? Becoming known as the best.

The answer was a lot. "Ah, sorry Mikado-kun, I had to use your details for a bit." How many of his humans would love to get their hands on the infamous Izaya Orihara? Quite a lot. Turning the corner, he cursed at his reactions, being with the blond, had slowed him considerably. Throwing his head back, he laughed in the wind. It was like a witch hunt, but instead of torches, it was baseball bats. Nothing compared to the vending machines though, so he was perfectly safe.

His eyes widened as he heard a very familiar motorbike. That one could be trouble. Even so, he gave his enemies the run around, until finally his phone vibrated in his pocket. Shizu-chan had woken up. Making his way to where he knew Kasuka was filming, he stopped in the middle of the shoot. The actor stared at him blankly. "Ah Kasuka-kun. I just thought you should know, I'm going out with Shizu-chan." Blank eyes narrowed, the camera swivelled to him. "Oops, gotta go."

Glancing behind him he could see the camera still focused on him, capturing the angry mob behind him. The phone in his pocket vibrated again. Running into a building, he could hear the crowd behind him get closer. "We've got you now." "You ruined my life!" None of it mattered, they were simply a means to an end. His legs began to burn as he leapt up the stairs, following the flights upwards.

Bursting out onto the rooftop, he was completely surrounded. "What an idiot, there's no escape." Izaya grinned, moving back slowly towards the edge. "Its scary how much you all trusted me." Looking into the crowd of murderous glares, he laughed. "You know, Shizu-chan once told me 99% - ah, I forgot. I doubt my protozoan remembers either." His feet were right on the edge of the building, one more step and he would be walking in air and there was a long way down. "Too bad my lovely humans."

Did it work? Shizu-chan. "Lets trust in that last 1%." Well then, protozoan. Taking a step back, he avoided the shadow of Celty's scythe coming for him. Izaya didn't grab onto the building, didn't try and save himself, as he fell, plummeting to the ground, his jacket billowing out behind him. An angry voice filled the air. "IZAAAAAAYA!" Ah, there we go. Instead of hitting the concrete spread out beneath him, he found himself in strong arms. About time, Shizu-chan.

Next:- Mistake